When we last left our witless crew of characters, Chris and Justina were making the impossibly harrowing trek from Baltimore to Harrisburg. Today, Angel calls and old friend on the phone and gets some remarkably reasonable advice.
Now if you're like me, ever since that episode of The Office where Michael said: "Two queens on Casino Night. I am going to... drop a deuce on everybody," you giggle when you hear the word "Deuce." If this is the case for you, then get ready to chuckle your way through ...
Chapter 61: Deuce
As soon as Angel had hung up the phone, she knew she had made a crazy mistake. But she also knew she couldn’t very well call Jeff back and un-invite herself [uhm, why not?] And mostly, she wanted to go visit him. She wanted to get away from life for a while—to not have to go to work early and leave late so she wouldn’t have to see Chris—to not have to glare at every woman with red hair just in case she was the one. A break was most assuredly in order. But this? This was crazy.
“Because I can’t not have sex with him,” she said aloud to the empty room. [uhm, again, why not? Are you planning on slipping yourself some roofies?]
That was wrong. Obviously she could do whatever she wanted. More accurately, then: “Because I want to have sex with him. And I’m going to. Aaaaaaaaaand … I’m talking to myself. This is why I need female friends.” She rubbed her temples and flopped down on her hotel bed. [how did she get to her hotel? Wasn’t she just in her office?] She opened her address book and flipped through the names.
“Madusa!” she nearly squealed. It had been a while, but she hoped her old friend would be awake. [how does the first half of that sentence relate to the second half of that sentence?]
“Hello?”
“Deuce!”
“Angel!”
“Sorry to call so late.”
“Not a problem. How the hell are you?”
“Good. Crazy. Good.”
They spent the next hour catching up. Madusa, as it turned out, had gotten into racing monster trucks, and had no intention of returning to the business. [I did not make that up]
“I wouldn’t mind a break myself,” said Angel. “Which brings me to my current situation.”
“Angel, are you thinking of leaving because of what happened with Chris?”
“No. Not leaving. Just going on a vacation.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound so bad.”
“A vacation with Jeff. At his house in North Carolina.”
“Ang, that sounds better than not bad.”
“I know. But … Deuce, I have a weird question.”
“Shoot.”
“So … I’m pretty sure we’re going to have sex.”
“Yeah …?”
“Well … this will be … my first time.”
“Wait … seriously?”
“Yes.”
“Wow. Ok. Well, are you sure you want it to be with Jeff?”
“I think so. Deuce, do you think he will be able to tell?”
“He doesn’t know?”
“Nope.”
“And you’re not planning on telling him in advance?”
“I don’t know. Won’t that be awkward?” [not as awkward as, say, having sex with someone that you don’t trust enough to be honest with about the fact that you’ve never had sex before.]
“I can think of several potentially awkward things about this situation.”
“I know.”
“You really should tell him. Otherwise, he’ll go in with guns blazing.”
“What does that mean?”
“Angel …”
“Ok, Ok, I know what you mean. But how do I bring this up?” [didn’t have to ask that last time you were in a hotel room with Jeff. BOOYA!]
“How about the direct approach? Couple that with honesty and you’re good to go.”
“He’s going to think I’m a huge freak.” [tell him he can take a number]
“And if he does, he’s not worth your virginity.”
That thought gave Angel pause. [maybe it’s because it’s the first sensible thing any character has ever said in this entire tome]
“I’m right, Angel.”
“I know.”
“Your virginity isn’t, like, this disease you’ve got to get rid of so you can be a normal person. It’s your body and your decision.”
“I know. I just feel like it’s a weight around my neck, you know? Something I should have gotten over with when I was a teenager.”
“I think you’d be amazed how many people wish they could take a good deal of the decisions they made as a teenager back.”
“I just … it’s like it’s become this huge deal … something bigger than it has to be.”
“According to who?”
“I don’t know, Deuce. To me, I guess. I always thought that waiting until marriage was the safest option, because then I’d be sure that the guy I lost it to would never hurt me, but I know that’s a fantasy. People hurt people. And Chris wanted to marry me, but that wasn’t enough for me. I don’t trust guys, Deuce, and I’m not entirely sure that that’s a bad thing. I don’t need to trust Jeff for this.”
“Angel, that’s ridiculous.”
“That’s not what I mean entirely. I mean, I do trust him to respect me and to be careful about stuff, but I don’t’ trust him with my heart, because he’ll never get it. “
“So you’re sure?”
“Yes.”
“That he’s getting your cherry [gross] or that he’s not getting your heart?”
“Deuce!” Angel groaned. She then added: “Both.”
“You have to tell him.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“Before you have sex with him.”
“I get it, Madusa, I get it.”
“Just checking.”
“It’s going to hurt, isn’t it?”
“Probably. Maybe. I think it does for most women. This is, of course, one of the main reasons for you to tell him. Guns blazing, Ang.” [I think we all could have done without that reminder.]
“Duly noted. Thanks for the advice.”
“Of course. Ang—just remember something—you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. And you don’t need to get back at Chris via having sex with Jeff.”
Angel was silent.
“Ang?”
“I hear you, Deuce. Maybe … maybe it’s not about getting back at him …” She sniffled audibly; the tears were starting. “Maybe it’s about forgetting him. When I was with Jeff, I never thought about Chris.”
“Angel?” Madusa said gently, “If you replaced the word ‘Jeff’ with ‘booze’ or ‘pills,’ I’d be worried.”
“But I didn’t.”
“No. And I don’t mean to lecture you … I’m just saying be careful. Do what feels right. Don’t force anything. And most importantly …”
“Yes?”
“Call me when you get back.”
Angel laughed. “I will. And Madusa?”
“Yes?”
“Thanks.”
NOTES
1) I could make a gross comment about Madusa's "don't force anything" advice, but I will restrain myself. Instead, I will just giggle. Hee hee!!!
2) I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually feel kind of sorry for Angel. Trying to erase one guy with another. I've been there, lady. Sometimes you're better off with booze or pills. Not that I've ever really had either. Except that time at my rehearsal dinner where I was so stressed out by my mother-in-law that I actually had a rum and coke in the hopes that it would mellow me out. It worked. It tasted like nasty on fire, but it worked. Wait, where was I? Oh yes. My larger point is that using people to get over other people can make just as much trouble as using various substances. Now that I can attest to. Man, I did a lot of stupid things when I was in college. Without booze or pills.
3) Can you imagine how different this conversation would have been if Angel had called Rick instead?
COMING UP NEXT ...
Yay, another Angel-free chapter! Not only Angel-free ... but ... ellipses for emphasis ... BARRY-FULL! Whee! Tune in next week for ...
Chapter 62: Harrisburg
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Chapter 60: Passenger
Previously on UnabashedlyBad: Angel and Jeff made us all want to gouge our eyes out by being generally gross. Dustin and Angel made up. Dustin talked about Tahiti. Angel decided to call Jeff. Zzzzzzzz. Today, as promised: an Angel-free chapter. Enjoy!
Chapter 60: Passenger
“So let me get this straight,” Chris said as he tossed his duffel bag into the trunk. [huzzah! Duffel bagging!] “You got a job applying make-up?”
“You make it sound so glamorous,” Justina said dryly.
“It’s just weird. All the guys do their own paint.”
“Not on guys, dipwad. On the women. You know how much they’ve got invested in T&A.”
“But I thought you were in fashion.”
“I am. But that’s more of a side job—I take orders and make ring outfits. But that’s not a steady gig. Plus,” she added, getting into the driver’s side, “Now I get to travel, see the country.”
“Sounds like a pretty lame fringe benefit, Foss. Traveling is heinous after a while.”
“So where exactly are we off to again?” she asked as Chris closed the door.
“Harrisburg, PA.”
“Long drive.” [from Baltimore? No it’s not. Not even close.]
“Yep, but cheaper than flying.” [of course it is. Who would fly from Baltimore to Harrisburg?]
“Gives us time.”
“For what?”
“To sort this out.”
“Justina …”
“Chris, it’s been a while. We need to talk. I need to talk, if nothing else.”
“Allright. I guess I’m not going anywhere … unless I want to walk to Harrisburg. Although that does sound like an attractive option right now.”
“So I think I finally saw Angel.”
“Yeah?”
“Mmmhmm. She’s the nurse, right?”
“One of them. I think there are two now.”
“Well, the one I saw was blonde.”
“They’re both blonde.”
“Oh this one was with Dustin Rhodes and …”
“That was her.”
“Ah. Well. She’s pretty.”
“Yep.”
“Extra pretty.” [you need a few more “extras” if you want to accurately convey her physical beauty, lady. Like at least a baker’s dozen of “extras”.]
“Foss …”
“I’m just saying … you have good taste. Anyway, what was she like?”
“Why does it matter?”
“It doesn’t, I guess. I’m just curious.”
“Well what was Scott like.”
“He was a nice guy. A little overemotional. Kind of weird about sex. But a nice guy.”
“Weird how?”
“Like … he was interested in doing it, but not about talking about it. You know?”
“Huh.”
“Yeah. So what was she like in bed?”
“Foss …” His tone sharpened.
“Alright, alright. I’ll drop it.”
They sat in silence for the next few minutes. [a few minutes? They must be halfway to Harrisburg, then.]
“I don’t know, actually.”
“What?”
“What she was like in bed. We never slept together.”
“You didn’t? But I thought you’d been dating for a while.”
“We were. She was waiting for marriage.”
“Oh. Not ready to seal your coffin, eh?”
“Charming portrait of holy matrimony. And actually, she was the commitment-phobe. I proposed and she turned me down.”
“You proposed?” Justina nearly swerved into the next lane.
“Careful there.”
“Damn. I guess it was pretty serious.”
“You could say that.” Chris studied the landscape intensely. [ah, the beautiful I-83 corridor]
“I’m sorry, Chris.”
He nodded and swallowed hard.
“Have you talked to her?”
“Not really. Wouldn’t know what to say.”
“Do you … do you want her back?”
“Justina …”
“I won’t be mad, Chris. I just want an honest answer.”
“No. We’re done. We had a lot of issues independent of you and me. So no.”
“Okay.”
“You don’t believe me.”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t have to.”
“What are we, Chris?”
“We are … Justipher 2.0.”
“Ugg, I’ve been trying to forget that nickname ever since we graduated.”
“I lobbied hard for Chris-tina.”
“Christina Adkins shot that down.”
“Remember that crazy English professor?”
“Hey … Cavanaugh was an integral portion to my education portion.”
“Your hair was awesome back in the day.”
“Speak for yourself.” [is that the proper retort? I think she means “you’re one to talk” or something like that]
“You went through hair spray like water.”
“Again, speak for yourself.” [see above]
“Guilty,” Chris said, smiling.
“Chris, how did you end up in my hotel room?”
“That was my hotel room.”
“What a bizarre mix-up.”
“I know.”
“Fate?”
“Who knows?” Chris said. He reached into his pocket and fished out his wallet. “I’ll make a deal with you. You let me sleep the rest of the way, I’ll cover gas money.” [so you get a 20-minute nap and have to chip in $3.50?]
“I choose the music.”
“Deal.” Chris opened his wallet. He grabbed two twenties and put them into the glove compartment. Before closing his wallet, he removed the picture of Angel. Justina watched him from the corner of her eye.
Chris rolled down the window and let the picture flutter out. Then he closed his eyes and reclined his seat back.
“You didn’t have to do that,” Justina said.
“Yes I did.”
They drove the rest of the way in silence.
NOTES:
1) That’s nice. So now women can either be nurses, secretaries, seamstresses, or make-up artists. Or, of course, vindictive psychos.
2) Chris, heartbreak is no excuse for littering. On another note, does anyone carry pictures of their girlfriends in their wallet? Slice sure as heck doesn’t. He prides himself on having as little as possible in his wallet. I think he’s got one credit card, his license, and maybe a dollar. Also, his wallet is made out of duct tape. To be fair, I’ve never given him a wallet-sized photo of me. Sears portrait studio, here I come!
COMING UP NEXT …
This Angelless chapter was nice, no? Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, because the next one is chock full o’ Angel. It also features a character I’m willing to bet most of you had forgotten about. The mystery of who that character is should probably be solved upon reading the title of our next thrilling installment … tune in next time for …
Chapter 61: Deuce
Chapter 60: Passenger
“So let me get this straight,” Chris said as he tossed his duffel bag into the trunk. [huzzah! Duffel bagging!] “You got a job applying make-up?”
“You make it sound so glamorous,” Justina said dryly.
“It’s just weird. All the guys do their own paint.”
“Not on guys, dipwad. On the women. You know how much they’ve got invested in T&A.”
“But I thought you were in fashion.”
“I am. But that’s more of a side job—I take orders and make ring outfits. But that’s not a steady gig. Plus,” she added, getting into the driver’s side, “Now I get to travel, see the country.”
“Sounds like a pretty lame fringe benefit, Foss. Traveling is heinous after a while.”
“So where exactly are we off to again?” she asked as Chris closed the door.
“Harrisburg, PA.”
“Long drive.” [from Baltimore? No it’s not. Not even close.]
“Yep, but cheaper than flying.” [of course it is. Who would fly from Baltimore to Harrisburg?]
“Gives us time.”
“For what?”
“To sort this out.”
“Justina …”
“Chris, it’s been a while. We need to talk. I need to talk, if nothing else.”
“Allright. I guess I’m not going anywhere … unless I want to walk to Harrisburg. Although that does sound like an attractive option right now.”
“So I think I finally saw Angel.”
“Yeah?”
“Mmmhmm. She’s the nurse, right?”
“One of them. I think there are two now.”
“Well, the one I saw was blonde.”
“They’re both blonde.”
“Oh this one was with Dustin Rhodes and …”
“That was her.”
“Ah. Well. She’s pretty.”
“Yep.”
“Extra pretty.” [you need a few more “extras” if you want to accurately convey her physical beauty, lady. Like at least a baker’s dozen of “extras”.]
“Foss …”
“I’m just saying … you have good taste. Anyway, what was she like?”
“Why does it matter?”
“It doesn’t, I guess. I’m just curious.”
“Well what was Scott like.”
“He was a nice guy. A little overemotional. Kind of weird about sex. But a nice guy.”
“Weird how?”
“Like … he was interested in doing it, but not about talking about it. You know?”
“Huh.”
“Yeah. So what was she like in bed?”
“Foss …” His tone sharpened.
“Alright, alright. I’ll drop it.”
They sat in silence for the next few minutes. [a few minutes? They must be halfway to Harrisburg, then.]
“I don’t know, actually.”
“What?”
“What she was like in bed. We never slept together.”
“You didn’t? But I thought you’d been dating for a while.”
“We were. She was waiting for marriage.”
“Oh. Not ready to seal your coffin, eh?”
“Charming portrait of holy matrimony. And actually, she was the commitment-phobe. I proposed and she turned me down.”
“You proposed?” Justina nearly swerved into the next lane.
“Careful there.”
“Damn. I guess it was pretty serious.”
“You could say that.” Chris studied the landscape intensely. [ah, the beautiful I-83 corridor]
“I’m sorry, Chris.”
He nodded and swallowed hard.
“Have you talked to her?”
“Not really. Wouldn’t know what to say.”
“Do you … do you want her back?”
“Justina …”
“I won’t be mad, Chris. I just want an honest answer.”
“No. We’re done. We had a lot of issues independent of you and me. So no.”
“Okay.”
“You don’t believe me.”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t have to.”
“What are we, Chris?”
“We are … Justipher 2.0.”
“Ugg, I’ve been trying to forget that nickname ever since we graduated.”
“I lobbied hard for Chris-tina.”
“Christina Adkins shot that down.”
“Remember that crazy English professor?”
“Hey … Cavanaugh was an integral portion to my education portion.”
“Your hair was awesome back in the day.”
“Speak for yourself.” [is that the proper retort? I think she means “you’re one to talk” or something like that]
“You went through hair spray like water.”
“Again, speak for yourself.” [see above]
“Guilty,” Chris said, smiling.
“Chris, how did you end up in my hotel room?”
“That was my hotel room.”
“What a bizarre mix-up.”
“I know.”
“Fate?”
“Who knows?” Chris said. He reached into his pocket and fished out his wallet. “I’ll make a deal with you. You let me sleep the rest of the way, I’ll cover gas money.” [so you get a 20-minute nap and have to chip in $3.50?]
“I choose the music.”
“Deal.” Chris opened his wallet. He grabbed two twenties and put them into the glove compartment. Before closing his wallet, he removed the picture of Angel. Justina watched him from the corner of her eye.
Chris rolled down the window and let the picture flutter out. Then he closed his eyes and reclined his seat back.
“You didn’t have to do that,” Justina said.
“Yes I did.”
They drove the rest of the way in silence.
NOTES:
1) That’s nice. So now women can either be nurses, secretaries, seamstresses, or make-up artists. Or, of course, vindictive psychos.
2) Chris, heartbreak is no excuse for littering. On another note, does anyone carry pictures of their girlfriends in their wallet? Slice sure as heck doesn’t. He prides himself on having as little as possible in his wallet. I think he’s got one credit card, his license, and maybe a dollar. Also, his wallet is made out of duct tape. To be fair, I’ve never given him a wallet-sized photo of me. Sears portrait studio, here I come!
COMING UP NEXT …
This Angelless chapter was nice, no? Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, because the next one is chock full o’ Angel. It also features a character I’m willing to bet most of you had forgotten about. The mystery of who that character is should probably be solved upon reading the title of our next thrilling installment … tune in next time for …
Chapter 61: Deuce
Monday, January 4, 2010
Chapter 59: Invitations
Sorry for that long hiatus. I was up in the frozen northeast visiting family and having job interviews and drinking a lot of cola products. Mmm, boy! Now I'm back in the frozen Southern mid-atlantic sitting on my couch and obsessing about how my job interviews went and drinking a lot of tea. And, of course, updating Unabashedly Bad.
So ... where were we? Ah, yes. Dustin worried about Angel's decision to leave a bar with that nefarious ladykiller, Jeff Hardy. Angel and Jeff partook in some frisky business (not the kind that can get you pregnant, just the kind that can spread disease, but who worries about that in this day and age?). Angel repeatedly congratulated herself for not thinking about what she was doing. Jeff invited Angel to brunch. I assume she ordered eggs sunny-side up, both to match her sunny personality and to bring out the blonde in her hair. Today? Jeffgel bore us some more and then we go back to Angel's office. Get comfy folks, this is a long one:
Chapter 59: Invitations
Jeff was funny and easy to talk to. Nothing was awkward, nothing was difficult [except keeping your pants on]. The reason for that, Angel assumed, was that they had no expectations of each other. She was probably just Jeff’s latest conquest and he … well … he was her rebound. No relationship, no worries. So Angel was somewhat taken aback when Jeff asked her to visit him on his vacation.
“You want me to what?”
“Visit me. In North Carolina. I’ve got some time off coming to me and I’m going home for a bit. I want you to come.”
“Jeff …”
“Don’t answer yet. Just think about it. No pressure, Angel. I just like you and want to see you again.”
“Jeff, look, I’m just coming off a really bad relationship and I don’t want to get involved with anyone right now.”
“Angel, if you’re saying that because you don’t want to see me again, that’s cool, but if you’re saying that because you’re relationship-phobic, uhm, seriously, it’s cool, because I am too. I don’t want to get involved right now either. I just think it would be fun. And I know it’s kind of forward of me to ask, but I figured what the hell, you know?”
She smiled at him and shook her head. “You are one bold fellow.”
Jeff laughed. “So just think about it, okay? That’s all I’m asking.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Allright.”
“Allright.” Jeff smiled at her as if she knew she’d be accepting his offer. She wasn’t as sure as he seemed to be that this was a good idea, but she was also not entirely sure she’d be able to turn him down, either. [those slash-burns are pretty mesmerizing]
----
As Angel set up the infirmary that night, she tried to focus on the task at hand instead of letting her mind drift to Jeff’s invitation. She was so lost in thought that she barely noticed Dustin standing in the doorway.
“Hey,” he said, “I startle you?”
“Oh, hey Dustin. Sorry, I was just lost in thought.”
“You got a minute, Angel?”
“Uhm, I don’t know.”
“The card doesn’t start for two hours.” [then what are you doing there?]
“Well there’s a lot more setting up to do.”
“Angel? Are you mad at me?”
She put down the box of gauze she had been aimlessly relocating and sighed. [Good ol’ gauze. Can’t have an infirmary without it.] “No, Dustin, I’m not mad at you. I’m just avoiding the conversation I know you’re trying to start with me.”
“How much longer do you want to avoid it? I can come back,” he said with mock seriousness. She laughed reluctantly.
“Allright.” She sat on a cot and he took a folding chair. “So how was your honeymoon?”
“Great. Beautiful. Three weeks ago.”
“Sounds nice. Except for that last part.”
“What happened, Angel?” [on the honeymoon? Weren’t you there? Oh. Wait. He’s talking about Angel’s life. Of course. How silly of me.]
She set her gaze to a remote corner of the room and exhaled. “Chris and I broke up.”
“Why? Was it because of …”
“It was because he ran into his ex-girlfriend and slept with her.” [uhm, I think there was something that happened before that event, but hey, let’s go with it]
“Oh. Wow[lions]. Man, I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, well. Those are the breaks, huh?”
“Angel …”
“I’m fine, Dustin. Really.”
“Angel, you can’t be fine.”
“Allright, well, I’m not fine per se, but I’m dealing.”
“With Jeff Hardy?”
“Yes. Ok? Yes. I’ve got my eyes open on this, Dustin. Jeff can’t hurt me. We’re just hanging out and having fun and it’s nothing even remotely serious. And look, I’m sorry I snapped at you before, because I know you’re just looking out for me, but I’m good, OK?”
“Ok Angel. I just worry about you. And I want you to be OK.”
“I know, Dustin.” She gave him a tight hug. “So look … isn’t it about time I meet Alex while she’s not in a big poufy dress? We should grab dinner one of these nights, the three of us.” [so I’m guessing that Angel just assumes Dustin has not manned up about his lip-tryst with Angel, otherwise why the hell would she suggest such a meeting?]
“That would be good. But her sister is having a baby and it’s been a rough pregnancy. The due date is soon and Alex has been spending a lot of time over there.”
“Oh … well, I sure hope everything is OK.”
“Yeah. I’m sure everything will be fine. Maybe you two can meet at the Halloween party.”
“That’s like, almost two months from now.”
“I know, but I’m so psyched already.”
Angel giggled. “Always good to have something to look forward to.”
“Yeah, well with Tahiti behind me, I’ve got to be excited about something ahead of me.” [how about years of wedded bliss? Or further delightful folding-chair conversation with the blondest, beautifullest woman ever?]
“Tell me about Tahiti.”
“It was so insanely beautiful … just so … not here. You know?”
“Not where? Baltimore?”
“Yes. No. Yes. Not anywhere familiar. We travel all over, you know? But we never go anywhere. It was nice to just get away.”
“I’m officially jealous.”
“You should be,” he said with a grin.
“Allright, Dustin. I seriously do have to finish setting up here.” [gauze doesn’t unbox itself]
“Yeah, I’ve got to change anyway. Good catching up with you, Ang.”
“You too, Dustin. And thanks for looking out for me.”
“That’s what friends are for,” he said, leaving her office.
Tahiti, thought Angel. Wouldn’t it be amazing to get away from everyone she knew, even if it was just for a few days? Even if it wasn’t Tahiti, but just North Carolina?
She dialed Jeff’s number.
NOTES:
1) Angel is correct. North Carolina is most assuredly not Tahiti. Case in point: today’s temperature in Tahiti: 83. North Carolina? 25. Ugg.
2) How many of you thought for a second that Angel was not going to call Jeff? No hands? Really? Not one?
ALLLLLLRIGHTY then. Coming up next …
Ladies and gents, there’s a 100% Angel-free chapter up next! Woo-hoo! Tune in next time for a semi-interesting conversation between Chris and Justina! There will be mildly witty dialogue and evidence of my disinterest in US geography. See you then for …
Chapter 60: Passenger
So ... where were we? Ah, yes. Dustin worried about Angel's decision to leave a bar with that nefarious ladykiller, Jeff Hardy. Angel and Jeff partook in some frisky business (not the kind that can get you pregnant, just the kind that can spread disease, but who worries about that in this day and age?). Angel repeatedly congratulated herself for not thinking about what she was doing. Jeff invited Angel to brunch. I assume she ordered eggs sunny-side up, both to match her sunny personality and to bring out the blonde in her hair. Today? Jeffgel bore us some more and then we go back to Angel's office. Get comfy folks, this is a long one:
Chapter 59: Invitations
Jeff was funny and easy to talk to. Nothing was awkward, nothing was difficult [except keeping your pants on]. The reason for that, Angel assumed, was that they had no expectations of each other. She was probably just Jeff’s latest conquest and he … well … he was her rebound. No relationship, no worries. So Angel was somewhat taken aback when Jeff asked her to visit him on his vacation.
“You want me to what?”
“Visit me. In North Carolina. I’ve got some time off coming to me and I’m going home for a bit. I want you to come.”
“Jeff …”
“Don’t answer yet. Just think about it. No pressure, Angel. I just like you and want to see you again.”
“Jeff, look, I’m just coming off a really bad relationship and I don’t want to get involved with anyone right now.”
“Angel, if you’re saying that because you don’t want to see me again, that’s cool, but if you’re saying that because you’re relationship-phobic, uhm, seriously, it’s cool, because I am too. I don’t want to get involved right now either. I just think it would be fun. And I know it’s kind of forward of me to ask, but I figured what the hell, you know?”
She smiled at him and shook her head. “You are one bold fellow.”
Jeff laughed. “So just think about it, okay? That’s all I’m asking.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Allright.”
“Allright.” Jeff smiled at her as if she knew she’d be accepting his offer. She wasn’t as sure as he seemed to be that this was a good idea, but she was also not entirely sure she’d be able to turn him down, either. [those slash-burns are pretty mesmerizing]
----
As Angel set up the infirmary that night, she tried to focus on the task at hand instead of letting her mind drift to Jeff’s invitation. She was so lost in thought that she barely noticed Dustin standing in the doorway.
“Hey,” he said, “I startle you?”
“Oh, hey Dustin. Sorry, I was just lost in thought.”
“You got a minute, Angel?”
“Uhm, I don’t know.”
“The card doesn’t start for two hours.” [then what are you doing there?]
“Well there’s a lot more setting up to do.”
“Angel? Are you mad at me?”
She put down the box of gauze she had been aimlessly relocating and sighed. [Good ol’ gauze. Can’t have an infirmary without it.] “No, Dustin, I’m not mad at you. I’m just avoiding the conversation I know you’re trying to start with me.”
“How much longer do you want to avoid it? I can come back,” he said with mock seriousness. She laughed reluctantly.
“Allright.” She sat on a cot and he took a folding chair. “So how was your honeymoon?”
“Great. Beautiful. Three weeks ago.”
“Sounds nice. Except for that last part.”
“What happened, Angel?” [on the honeymoon? Weren’t you there? Oh. Wait. He’s talking about Angel’s life. Of course. How silly of me.]
She set her gaze to a remote corner of the room and exhaled. “Chris and I broke up.”
“Why? Was it because of …”
“It was because he ran into his ex-girlfriend and slept with her.” [uhm, I think there was something that happened before that event, but hey, let’s go with it]
“Oh. Wow[lions]. Man, I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, well. Those are the breaks, huh?”
“Angel …”
“I’m fine, Dustin. Really.”
“Angel, you can’t be fine.”
“Allright, well, I’m not fine per se, but I’m dealing.”
“With Jeff Hardy?”
“Yes. Ok? Yes. I’ve got my eyes open on this, Dustin. Jeff can’t hurt me. We’re just hanging out and having fun and it’s nothing even remotely serious. And look, I’m sorry I snapped at you before, because I know you’re just looking out for me, but I’m good, OK?”
“Ok Angel. I just worry about you. And I want you to be OK.”
“I know, Dustin.” She gave him a tight hug. “So look … isn’t it about time I meet Alex while she’s not in a big poufy dress? We should grab dinner one of these nights, the three of us.” [so I’m guessing that Angel just assumes Dustin has not manned up about his lip-tryst with Angel, otherwise why the hell would she suggest such a meeting?]
“That would be good. But her sister is having a baby and it’s been a rough pregnancy. The due date is soon and Alex has been spending a lot of time over there.”
“Oh … well, I sure hope everything is OK.”
“Yeah. I’m sure everything will be fine. Maybe you two can meet at the Halloween party.”
“That’s like, almost two months from now.”
“I know, but I’m so psyched already.”
Angel giggled. “Always good to have something to look forward to.”
“Yeah, well with Tahiti behind me, I’ve got to be excited about something ahead of me.” [how about years of wedded bliss? Or further delightful folding-chair conversation with the blondest, beautifullest woman ever?]
“Tell me about Tahiti.”
“It was so insanely beautiful … just so … not here. You know?”
“Not where? Baltimore?”
“Yes. No. Yes. Not anywhere familiar. We travel all over, you know? But we never go anywhere. It was nice to just get away.”
“I’m officially jealous.”
“You should be,” he said with a grin.
“Allright, Dustin. I seriously do have to finish setting up here.” [gauze doesn’t unbox itself]
“Yeah, I’ve got to change anyway. Good catching up with you, Ang.”
“You too, Dustin. And thanks for looking out for me.”
“That’s what friends are for,” he said, leaving her office.
Tahiti, thought Angel. Wouldn’t it be amazing to get away from everyone she knew, even if it was just for a few days? Even if it wasn’t Tahiti, but just North Carolina?
She dialed Jeff’s number.
NOTES:
1) Angel is correct. North Carolina is most assuredly not Tahiti. Case in point: today’s temperature in Tahiti: 83. North Carolina? 25. Ugg.
2) How many of you thought for a second that Angel was not going to call Jeff? No hands? Really? Not one?
ALLLLLLRIGHTY then. Coming up next …
Ladies and gents, there’s a 100% Angel-free chapter up next! Woo-hoo! Tune in next time for a semi-interesting conversation between Chris and Justina! There will be mildly witty dialogue and evidence of my disinterest in US geography. See you then for …
Chapter 60: Passenger
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Merry Happy!
Hi all,
UnabashedlyBad is on a short hiatus because of holidays and job interviews (!!). Never fear: your favorite thrilling compost heap of melodrama will return on Jan 4th with a vengeance. Until then, Merry Happy and enjoy the remnants of '09!
UnabashedlyBad is on a short hiatus because of holidays and job interviews (!!). Never fear: your favorite thrilling compost heap of melodrama will return on Jan 4th with a vengeance. Until then, Merry Happy and enjoy the remnants of '09!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Chapter 58: About Last Night
Hooo boy, it's been a while, huh? Between Thanksgiving shenanigans and the aforementioned crazytimes that is my job right now, I have spent waaaay too much time on events that do not include updating this thing. I apologize most heartily.
So let's have a brief recap, shall we? Angel met Jeff at a bar. Dustin was all "stay away" and Angel was all "naw, dude" and Jeff was all "look at my complicated sideburns." So Jeff and Angel went on a date and Angel was all "I am not going to overthink this" and Jeff was all "UR HAWT" and they were both all "let's not do it" and then they went back to her hotel room and made out.
Ok, good, we're all up to speed. Today: uhmmm ... pretty much nothing happens. But at least there was nothing I had to censor.
Chapter 58: About Last Night
Angel awoke to the sound of the shower running. The bathroom door was open. She picked Jeff’s shirt up off the floor, slipped it over her heard, and began brushing her teeth.
“I would have figured you for a shower-singer,” she called in to Jeff.
“Dead on. I just didn’t want to wake you. [then why didn’t you close the door?] Good morning.”
“Morning.”
“Hand me a towel?”
Angel placed one into his outstretched hand. She finished brushing her teeth. Jeff stepped out of the shower with the towel wrapped around his waist. Angel tried valiantly not to check him out, but failed. He noticed and grinned.
“Caught me.”
“It helps that these towels are roughly the size of washcloths.”
“Yes it does.”
“Angel … about last night …”
Her stomach flipped. “Yeah?”
“I think we made sex obsolete.”
He must’ve detected relief in her laughter. “You were worried I’d say something else?”
“Maybe.”
“Damn, you look sexy in the morning. “
“Bed-head suits me?” [everything suits you, Angel. EVERYTHING. You could dip yourself in dog poo, roll in cigarette butts, and affix rotting pigeon carcasses to your hair and you’d still look ravishing.]
“Utterly. I’d kiss you, but my toothbrush is in a different hotel.” [for shame. I so would imagine Jeff to carry a travel oral hygiene kit with him wherever he went just for situations like this]
Angel waved the tiny bottle of complimentary mouthwash at him.
“Score!”
“So Jeff, about last night …” Angel began as he rinsed his mouth.
“Mmph?”
“When can we do it again?”
As it happened, the answer to that question was “Immediately.” [oh ick]
---
Later, Angel lay in Jeff’s arms staring at the hotel ceiling, wondering how the heck she had gotten there, but trying not to wonder too hard. Her circular thoughts were broken by a glance at the clock.
“Eleven AM already? Dang.”
“You’ve got somewhere to be?”
“Not entirely. But check-out is noon, and I’ve got to …”
“Check-out?” Jeff asked. “I thought you were here for three more days.” [what kind of wrestling card lasts three days?]
“No, you’re here for three more days, silly. WCW is moving on to greener pastures. If that’s a way to describe Harrisburg, PA. I’m driving up there after the show tonight,” she said, pulling on a pair of jeans. [really, Angel? Not even a shower?]
“Seriously?”
“Afraid so.”
“Wow. So this really was a one-night stand?”
“I think it was more like a night-and-a-half.”
Wow. I thought for sure I’d be able to see you one more time.” [uhm, she’s not disappearing into thin air.]
“ ‘See me,’ eh?” she smirked.
“Yeah. Yes. Really.” He grabbed his shirt off the floor, smoothed it out as best he could, and buttoned it up. “Like … an actual date, even.”
“Did you suddenly quit wrestling?”
“What? Oh … you and not dating wrestlers. You really meant that?”
“Absolutely.” Angel was fully dressed now and beginning to pack up her toiletries.
“Angel,” Jeff touched her arm. “I’m not looking for anything serious, believe me, but I’ve enjoyed the hell out of these last 18 hours or so, and I really don’t want it to end. And it’s not just because you’re insanely sexy. Although that helps.”
Angel zipped up her toiletries bag. “Jeff …”
“Brunch?” [consider that a prescient shout-out, Oleg]
She smiled at him and looked at her watch.
“Brunch. But not hotel brunch.”
“Afraid of bumping into too many of your friends?”
“Mostly afraid of the food.”
“You’ve got a deal. Look, I’m going back to my room to change and get my gear. Call me when you’re all checked out and we’ll find a place. Ok?”
“Ok.”
Jeff took her hand and kissed it. “Until then,” he said, making his exit.
“Such a charmer, Hardy.” Angel shook her head and finished packing up. 11:30—half an hour to spare. She sat on the bed and exhaled.
What the heck had she just done? Well … she reasoned … to be perfectly honest, nothing she hadn’t done before … just with someone she barely knew. And that was the exciting part, the wonderful part, the slightly terrifying part. But brunch? Angel had been fully prepared to never see Jeff again. How did I happen that she would in fact see him again in less than an hour?
NOTES:
1) Showering with the door open? Yeah. Slice does that. He pees with the door open too. One time he tried to get away with pooping with the door open. That was not acceptible. I wish Jeff had tried that.
2) I personally do not like brunch. Lunch I find quite enjoyable, but brunch is always a let-down. Mostly because I don't like eggs and can't understand why eating a plate of pancakes could possibly result in anything but a long nap afterwards. I would imagine that Jeff would make brunch much more enticing, however, what with his rapier wit and all.
Coming up next …
Yes, we have to witness brunch. But then we actually get to revisit Angel’s office! And we get to hear about Dustin's honeymoon. Sort of. At any rate, I promise that Barry's coming back soon.
See you next time for ... Chapter 59: Invitations.
So let's have a brief recap, shall we? Angel met Jeff at a bar. Dustin was all "stay away" and Angel was all "naw, dude" and Jeff was all "look at my complicated sideburns." So Jeff and Angel went on a date and Angel was all "I am not going to overthink this" and Jeff was all "UR HAWT" and they were both all "let's not do it" and then they went back to her hotel room and made out.
Ok, good, we're all up to speed. Today: uhmmm ... pretty much nothing happens. But at least there was nothing I had to censor.
Chapter 58: About Last Night
Angel awoke to the sound of the shower running. The bathroom door was open. She picked Jeff’s shirt up off the floor, slipped it over her heard, and began brushing her teeth.
“I would have figured you for a shower-singer,” she called in to Jeff.
“Dead on. I just didn’t want to wake you. [then why didn’t you close the door?] Good morning.”
“Morning.”
“Hand me a towel?”
Angel placed one into his outstretched hand. She finished brushing her teeth. Jeff stepped out of the shower with the towel wrapped around his waist. Angel tried valiantly not to check him out, but failed. He noticed and grinned.
“Caught me.”
“It helps that these towels are roughly the size of washcloths.”
“Yes it does.”
“Angel … about last night …”
Her stomach flipped. “Yeah?”
“I think we made sex obsolete.”
He must’ve detected relief in her laughter. “You were worried I’d say something else?”
“Maybe.”
“Damn, you look sexy in the morning. “
“Bed-head suits me?” [everything suits you, Angel. EVERYTHING. You could dip yourself in dog poo, roll in cigarette butts, and affix rotting pigeon carcasses to your hair and you’d still look ravishing.]
“Utterly. I’d kiss you, but my toothbrush is in a different hotel.” [for shame. I so would imagine Jeff to carry a travel oral hygiene kit with him wherever he went just for situations like this]
Angel waved the tiny bottle of complimentary mouthwash at him.
“Score!”
“So Jeff, about last night …” Angel began as he rinsed his mouth.
“Mmph?”
“When can we do it again?”
As it happened, the answer to that question was “Immediately.” [oh ick]
---
Later, Angel lay in Jeff’s arms staring at the hotel ceiling, wondering how the heck she had gotten there, but trying not to wonder too hard. Her circular thoughts were broken by a glance at the clock.
“Eleven AM already? Dang.”
“You’ve got somewhere to be?”
“Not entirely. But check-out is noon, and I’ve got to …”
“Check-out?” Jeff asked. “I thought you were here for three more days.” [what kind of wrestling card lasts three days?]
“No, you’re here for three more days, silly. WCW is moving on to greener pastures. If that’s a way to describe Harrisburg, PA. I’m driving up there after the show tonight,” she said, pulling on a pair of jeans. [really, Angel? Not even a shower?]
“Seriously?”
“Afraid so.”
“Wow. So this really was a one-night stand?”
“I think it was more like a night-and-a-half.”
Wow. I thought for sure I’d be able to see you one more time.” [uhm, she’s not disappearing into thin air.]
“ ‘See me,’ eh?” she smirked.
“Yeah. Yes. Really.” He grabbed his shirt off the floor, smoothed it out as best he could, and buttoned it up. “Like … an actual date, even.”
“Did you suddenly quit wrestling?”
“What? Oh … you and not dating wrestlers. You really meant that?”
“Absolutely.” Angel was fully dressed now and beginning to pack up her toiletries.
“Angel,” Jeff touched her arm. “I’m not looking for anything serious, believe me, but I’ve enjoyed the hell out of these last 18 hours or so, and I really don’t want it to end. And it’s not just because you’re insanely sexy. Although that helps.”
Angel zipped up her toiletries bag. “Jeff …”
“Brunch?” [consider that a prescient shout-out, Oleg]
She smiled at him and looked at her watch.
“Brunch. But not hotel brunch.”
“Afraid of bumping into too many of your friends?”
“Mostly afraid of the food.”
“You’ve got a deal. Look, I’m going back to my room to change and get my gear. Call me when you’re all checked out and we’ll find a place. Ok?”
“Ok.”
Jeff took her hand and kissed it. “Until then,” he said, making his exit.
“Such a charmer, Hardy.” Angel shook her head and finished packing up. 11:30—half an hour to spare. She sat on the bed and exhaled.
What the heck had she just done? Well … she reasoned … to be perfectly honest, nothing she hadn’t done before … just with someone she barely knew. And that was the exciting part, the wonderful part, the slightly terrifying part. But brunch? Angel had been fully prepared to never see Jeff again. How did I happen that she would in fact see him again in less than an hour?
NOTES:
1) Showering with the door open? Yeah. Slice does that. He pees with the door open too. One time he tried to get away with pooping with the door open. That was not acceptible. I wish Jeff had tried that.
2) I personally do not like brunch. Lunch I find quite enjoyable, but brunch is always a let-down. Mostly because I don't like eggs and can't understand why eating a plate of pancakes could possibly result in anything but a long nap afterwards. I would imagine that Jeff would make brunch much more enticing, however, what with his rapier wit and all.
Coming up next …
Yes, we have to witness brunch. But then we actually get to revisit Angel’s office! And we get to hear about Dustin's honeymoon. Sort of. At any rate, I promise that Barry's coming back soon.
See you next time for ... Chapter 59: Invitations.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Chapter 57: One Night (Part III)
So sitemeter allows me to see which phrases people are googling in order to get to this blog. Amazingly enough, the most frequently googled phrase is actually “barry windham wrestling boots.” Hey, they WERE pretty snazzy. So if you stumbled across here looking for boots, but somehow got caught up in this drama instead, welcome. And if you are seriously missing Barry … have patience. I promise that he’ll be back as soon as we get a bit more of this Jeff garbage out of the way. Today, we get one step closer:
Chapter 57: One Night (Part III)
“So I guess you’re not one of those women who gets turned off by the overconfident lady-killer type?”
“You’re not overconfident. You’re charming.”
Jeff chuckled.
“Besides,” Angel added. “I’ve been with your opposite—the goofy, shy, good-natured, slightly-awkward guy.”
“Too boring?”
“Too insistent on sleeping with his ex. Whoops, sorry, there went the fifth.”
“I won’t use it against you in court.”
“Thanks. Hey, Jeff, I just realized something.”
“What’s that?”
“Well, here we are at my hotel,” Angel said as Jeff opened the lobby door for her, “and we’re heading up to my room, but I don’t have any wine or movies or board games or music or photo albums or magazines or any other things we can pretend to be interested in until one of us makes a move on the other.” [photo albums? That’s a turn on. “Hey, here’s me in seventh grade! Look at my braces. Hey! Here’s me and my best friends. You don’t know any of them.”]
Jeff laughed as they stepped out of the elevator. “I like you a whole damn lot, Angel [sigh. Remember when characters would apologize for swearing? I kind of miss those days]. I guess we’ll just have to have a pretend object of interest. There’s got to be a room service menu. Or a pad and pen next to the phone. We could play hangman until one of us makes a move.”
“Are we really going to do that?”
“Probably not.”
“What about tic tac toe?” Angel asked as she inserted the key into the door. [is that a double entendre?]
“Are you that much of a glutton for punishment?”
“Are you sure that first victory wasn’t a fluke?”
“Those are fighting words, lady.”
The door closed behind them. Angel smiled at Jeff. “I’m going to go freshen up. I can’t believe I actually just said that. Only movie people say that.” [and characters in bad wrestling fan fiction, apparently]
“It’s classier than saying that you’re going to the can.”
“Excellent point!” At any rate, I’ll be right back. Make yourself at home—or at least your own hotel room.”
When Angel returned, Jeff was sitting on the bed with a pad of paper and a pen. “I’m X’s,” he said, handing the pad to Angel. She sat next to him and took the paper.
“Only suckers start in the middle.” [was THAT a double entendre?]
“Mmm-hmm,” he replied, handing her the pen. She took it and filled the rest of the squares with O’s [see bracketed comment above].
“Sucker,” she said.
“You play dirty.”
She grinned at him. He moved his face closer to hers, took the pen from her hand and put it in his shirt front pocket.
“I bet you do too.” She took the pen from his pocket and threw it on the floor [that seemed unnecessary]. Then she hooked her fingers in the pocket and drew him closer. Their noses touched. She felt his breath on her lips … [Ahem. Yeah. I know I promised that I’d type everything as it was written, but I actually forgot that I wrote this scene. It’s embarrassing, but not in the same way that lines like “love means hates nothing about” is embarrassing. So I’m just going to pretend that there are no extended descriptions of the way his calloused fingers felt against her soft skin or anything like that. Trust me, you’re really not missing anything. Let’s just say that they make out a lot, and it’s gross. Don’t worry, gentle readers, they don’t actually “do it.” There’s no need for anyone to go and tattle to Rick Steiner.]
NOTES:
1) Wow, I’m glad this one is behind me. At least this chapter is an outlier—the rest of ‘em are all strictly PG-13.
2) Oh Angel, you harlot. Rebounding with Slashburns in your hotel room. Freshening up. Throwing his pen on the floor. What happened to the nice young lady who brought cookies to a party and wore apricot t-shirts with a slight v-neck?
3) Let’s assume that it was a morning wrestling card. Why not?
Coming up next …
Angel and Jeff have a little talk about what happened the night before. I am going to have to prop my eyelids open with toothpicks to actually transcribe it. The good news is that we’ll get a break from Jeff chapters soon. Not soon enough, of course, but soon.
See you next time for …
Chapter 58: Invitations
Chapter 57: One Night (Part III)
“So I guess you’re not one of those women who gets turned off by the overconfident lady-killer type?”
“You’re not overconfident. You’re charming.”
Jeff chuckled.
“Besides,” Angel added. “I’ve been with your opposite—the goofy, shy, good-natured, slightly-awkward guy.”
“Too boring?”
“Too insistent on sleeping with his ex. Whoops, sorry, there went the fifth.”
“I won’t use it against you in court.”
“Thanks. Hey, Jeff, I just realized something.”
“What’s that?”
“Well, here we are at my hotel,” Angel said as Jeff opened the lobby door for her, “and we’re heading up to my room, but I don’t have any wine or movies or board games or music or photo albums or magazines or any other things we can pretend to be interested in until one of us makes a move on the other.” [photo albums? That’s a turn on. “Hey, here’s me in seventh grade! Look at my braces. Hey! Here’s me and my best friends. You don’t know any of them.”]
Jeff laughed as they stepped out of the elevator. “I like you a whole damn lot, Angel [sigh. Remember when characters would apologize for swearing? I kind of miss those days]. I guess we’ll just have to have a pretend object of interest. There’s got to be a room service menu. Or a pad and pen next to the phone. We could play hangman until one of us makes a move.”
“Are we really going to do that?”
“Probably not.”
“What about tic tac toe?” Angel asked as she inserted the key into the door. [is that a double entendre?]
“Are you that much of a glutton for punishment?”
“Are you sure that first victory wasn’t a fluke?”
“Those are fighting words, lady.”
The door closed behind them. Angel smiled at Jeff. “I’m going to go freshen up. I can’t believe I actually just said that. Only movie people say that.” [and characters in bad wrestling fan fiction, apparently]
“It’s classier than saying that you’re going to the can.”
“Excellent point!” At any rate, I’ll be right back. Make yourself at home—or at least your own hotel room.”
When Angel returned, Jeff was sitting on the bed with a pad of paper and a pen. “I’m X’s,” he said, handing the pad to Angel. She sat next to him and took the paper.
“Only suckers start in the middle.” [was THAT a double entendre?]
“Mmm-hmm,” he replied, handing her the pen. She took it and filled the rest of the squares with O’s [see bracketed comment above].
“Sucker,” she said.
“You play dirty.”
She grinned at him. He moved his face closer to hers, took the pen from her hand and put it in his shirt front pocket.
“I bet you do too.” She took the pen from his pocket and threw it on the floor [that seemed unnecessary]. Then she hooked her fingers in the pocket and drew him closer. Their noses touched. She felt his breath on her lips … [Ahem. Yeah. I know I promised that I’d type everything as it was written, but I actually forgot that I wrote this scene. It’s embarrassing, but not in the same way that lines like “love means hates nothing about” is embarrassing. So I’m just going to pretend that there are no extended descriptions of the way his calloused fingers felt against her soft skin or anything like that. Trust me, you’re really not missing anything. Let’s just say that they make out a lot, and it’s gross. Don’t worry, gentle readers, they don’t actually “do it.” There’s no need for anyone to go and tattle to Rick Steiner.]
NOTES:
1) Wow, I’m glad this one is behind me. At least this chapter is an outlier—the rest of ‘em are all strictly PG-13.
2) Oh Angel, you harlot. Rebounding with Slashburns in your hotel room. Freshening up. Throwing his pen on the floor. What happened to the nice young lady who brought cookies to a party and wore apricot t-shirts with a slight v-neck?
3) Let’s assume that it was a morning wrestling card. Why not?
Coming up next …
Angel and Jeff have a little talk about what happened the night before. I am going to have to prop my eyelids open with toothpicks to actually transcribe it. The good news is that we’ll get a break from Jeff chapters soon. Not soon enough, of course, but soon.
See you next time for …
Chapter 58: Invitations
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Chapter 57: One Night (Part II)
When last we left Jefgel, they were conversing about movies and favorite bands and being astonished at the fact that Angel worked in wrestling. Plus, Angel was wearing new underwear and I was squirming uncomfortably at the fact that I had written any of this. Today: Jeff nonchalantly admits that he is a musician and Angel has an internal monologue where she marvels about how she has no emotional attachment to Jeff and therefore it's a good idea to start getting frisky with him. Just a warning: that will be a recurring theme. I'm trying to think of a concise tag for that phenomenon. If y'all have any suggestions, please do share.
Chapter 57 – One Night (Part II)
“So look … what do you say we get out of here, take a walk along the pier, and get some ice cream or something?” Jeff said as they finished their meal.
“I’m up for the walk, but not the ice cream. I ate like fifty pounds of crab in there.”
“Who’s counting?”
“My engorged stomach.”
“Engorged … that’s such a romantic word. I’ll have to work that into a song.”
“You write songs?”
“Here and there. Did you like my lame attempt at working that seamlessly into the conversation?”
“Admirable indeed. Do you sing?”
“I try.”
“And play the guitar?”
“Am I that obvious?”
“Nah. Yeah,” she giggled. “Let me guess … you write songs about women.”
“Wrong on that one.”
“So it’s not a lure?”
“Well, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t lure incidentally, but I really just love to play.” [I've already rolled my eyes like 300 times since this chapter started]
“That’s cool. I used to play the violin in junior high. I gave it up when I started forming a chin callus.” [way to suffer for your art, Angel]
Jeff smiled at her and extended his right hand. “These are like my badge of honor,” he said, displaying his callused fingers.
“You know what would have looked just as cool? A humongous one of those on my face.”
Jeff laughed and turned towards her as they leaned on the railing overlooking the water. “Anything marring that face would be a crime,” he said, tracing her jawline with his finger. [uggggg] Angel shivered at his touch. “So, Angel?”
“Yes?”
“I’ve been wanting to kiss you all night.”
“What’s been stopping you?”
He tilted her face up towards his and brought his lips to hers. Angel’s head swam. No one had ever kissed her like this. The second his lips touched hers, everything else ceased to matter—but it wasn’t that she was caught up in love for him, as she had been with Chris, but with such a fierce passion that she could think of nothing else. When the kiss ended, she felt dizzy. [I don't feel so good myself having read that]
“Jeff …”
“Yeah?”
But she didn’t know what to say. The way he was looking at her rendered her speechless. His dark hazel eyes were locked on hers. He looked like he wanted to devour her. She had the distinct feeling that she was looking at him the same way.
“I … uhm …”
“We have the most intense chemistry I’ve ever felt. No joke.”
“Yeah.”
“I mean it. Look. You probably know that I’m no saint. I’ve been around … but this is crazy. The second I touch you, I …”
“Lose track of life?”
“Pretty much. That’s not a line, Angel. I’m speaking the truth here.”
“I know.”
“And you know what’s almost stupid?”
“What?”
“I like you so much that I wouldn’t even consider having a one night stand.”
“You only sleep with people you don’t like?”
“The fifth.”
Angel laughed. “So Jeff ... if I invite you back to my hotel room, I don’t have to worry about you thinking I’m a slut because I know it won’t be with the expectation of sleeping with you on the first non-date.”
“You’re seriously going to tempt me like that?”
“All I’m going to do is invite you back. You have my solemn vow that we will not have sex.”
“This is the weirdest conversation I’ve had in a long time.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Absolutely.”
As they walked back, neither of them spoke, but it wasn’t uncomfortable silence at all. Angel tried valiantly to not think about what she was doing, but she couldn’t help it. What if Jeff had not brought sex up? What if he hadn’t already promised not to sleep with her? How could she possibly tell him that she was a virgin without freaking him out? Was she seriously going back to her hotel room with a guy she barely knew, especially a guy she wanted this badly? Was he actually going to find out she was wearing a thong? That last thought sent shivers down her spine.
“So look, Angel, [awkward PSA alert!] even though we’ve not to have sex and we’ve both pleaded the fifth about all previous relationships, I just want you to know that even though I’ve been around, I’ve always done it safely.”
“Thanks, Jeff. I appreciate you saying that … and I’ve never had unsafe sex either.” Not at a lie at all, Angel thought. And there was really no reason to clarify beyond that. There was little chance she and Jeff would see each other again after this weekend. Why should she ruin a perfectly good night with awkward conversation, especially when they’d already agreed not to have sex?
--------------------------------
NOTES:
1) Gee, Angel, I don't know, why WOULD you ruin a good night with conversation? Why would you try to get to know someone a little bit better before inviting him back to your hotel room?
2) As smarmy as Jeff is, I don't quite want to punch him in the solar plexus just yet. Let's look at this from his perspective: he's a total hottie and he knows it. There's a hot blonde nurse looking to rebound. Everything he's doing and saying is totally in character. The only icky thing is that the hot nurse in question is Angel. He doesn't know that yet, readers. I actually feel kind of sorry for him at this point.
3) Don't you wish that Dustin had been eating at that restaurant too?
COMING UP NEXT ...
Avert your eyes, readers. It gets sort of steamy. I might actually have to tone it down a little, because otherwise I wouldn't be able to make eye contact with those of you whom I know in person. We'll see.
Tune in next time for ...
Chapter 57: One Night (Part III)
Chapter 57 – One Night (Part II)
“So look … what do you say we get out of here, take a walk along the pier, and get some ice cream or something?” Jeff said as they finished their meal.
“I’m up for the walk, but not the ice cream. I ate like fifty pounds of crab in there.”
“Who’s counting?”
“My engorged stomach.”
“Engorged … that’s such a romantic word. I’ll have to work that into a song.”
“You write songs?”
“Here and there. Did you like my lame attempt at working that seamlessly into the conversation?”
“Admirable indeed. Do you sing?”
“I try.”
“And play the guitar?”
“Am I that obvious?”
“Nah. Yeah,” she giggled. “Let me guess … you write songs about women.”
“Wrong on that one.”
“So it’s not a lure?”
“Well, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t lure incidentally, but I really just love to play.” [I've already rolled my eyes like 300 times since this chapter started]
“That’s cool. I used to play the violin in junior high. I gave it up when I started forming a chin callus.” [way to suffer for your art, Angel]
Jeff smiled at her and extended his right hand. “These are like my badge of honor,” he said, displaying his callused fingers.
“You know what would have looked just as cool? A humongous one of those on my face.”
Jeff laughed and turned towards her as they leaned on the railing overlooking the water. “Anything marring that face would be a crime,” he said, tracing her jawline with his finger. [uggggg] Angel shivered at his touch. “So, Angel?”
“Yes?”
“I’ve been wanting to kiss you all night.”
“What’s been stopping you?”
He tilted her face up towards his and brought his lips to hers. Angel’s head swam. No one had ever kissed her like this. The second his lips touched hers, everything else ceased to matter—but it wasn’t that she was caught up in love for him, as she had been with Chris, but with such a fierce passion that she could think of nothing else. When the kiss ended, she felt dizzy. [I don't feel so good myself having read that]
“Jeff …”
“Yeah?”
But she didn’t know what to say. The way he was looking at her rendered her speechless. His dark hazel eyes were locked on hers. He looked like he wanted to devour her. She had the distinct feeling that she was looking at him the same way.
“I … uhm …”
“We have the most intense chemistry I’ve ever felt. No joke.”
“Yeah.”
“I mean it. Look. You probably know that I’m no saint. I’ve been around … but this is crazy. The second I touch you, I …”
“Lose track of life?”
“Pretty much. That’s not a line, Angel. I’m speaking the truth here.”
“I know.”
“And you know what’s almost stupid?”
“What?”
“I like you so much that I wouldn’t even consider having a one night stand.”
“You only sleep with people you don’t like?”
“The fifth.”
Angel laughed. “So Jeff ... if I invite you back to my hotel room, I don’t have to worry about you thinking I’m a slut because I know it won’t be with the expectation of sleeping with you on the first non-date.”
“You’re seriously going to tempt me like that?”
“All I’m going to do is invite you back. You have my solemn vow that we will not have sex.”
“This is the weirdest conversation I’ve had in a long time.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Absolutely.”
As they walked back, neither of them spoke, but it wasn’t uncomfortable silence at all. Angel tried valiantly to not think about what she was doing, but she couldn’t help it. What if Jeff had not brought sex up? What if he hadn’t already promised not to sleep with her? How could she possibly tell him that she was a virgin without freaking him out? Was she seriously going back to her hotel room with a guy she barely knew, especially a guy she wanted this badly? Was he actually going to find out she was wearing a thong? That last thought sent shivers down her spine.
“So look, Angel, [awkward PSA alert!] even though we’ve not to have sex and we’ve both pleaded the fifth about all previous relationships, I just want you to know that even though I’ve been around, I’ve always done it safely.”
“Thanks, Jeff. I appreciate you saying that … and I’ve never had unsafe sex either.” Not at a lie at all, Angel thought. And there was really no reason to clarify beyond that. There was little chance she and Jeff would see each other again after this weekend. Why should she ruin a perfectly good night with awkward conversation, especially when they’d already agreed not to have sex?
--------------------------------
NOTES:
1) Gee, Angel, I don't know, why WOULD you ruin a good night with conversation? Why would you try to get to know someone a little bit better before inviting him back to your hotel room?
2) As smarmy as Jeff is, I don't quite want to punch him in the solar plexus just yet. Let's look at this from his perspective: he's a total hottie and he knows it. There's a hot blonde nurse looking to rebound. Everything he's doing and saying is totally in character. The only icky thing is that the hot nurse in question is Angel. He doesn't know that yet, readers. I actually feel kind of sorry for him at this point.
3) Don't you wish that Dustin had been eating at that restaurant too?
COMING UP NEXT ...
Avert your eyes, readers. It gets sort of steamy. I might actually have to tone it down a little, because otherwise I wouldn't be able to make eye contact with those of you whom I know in person. We'll see.
Tune in next time for ...
Chapter 57: One Night (Part III)
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