Greetings, beloved readers.
In our last installment, Angel thought about her lovelife as she drove to Jeff's. That was about it. OH, right, yes, she also put gas in her car.
Today: Chris overcooks his bagel. Enjoy!
Chapter 67: Continental Breakfast
Chris rubbed his eyes and waited for the hotel to relinquish his bagel. [I assume that I meant “hotel toaster” or something like that. Either that or this hotel has some weird ideas about key deposits.] He hadn’t slept particularly well after discovering the identity of Barry’s bedmate. Justina had kept him awake for a bit by asking him questions and trying to figure out the best plan of action, but after a while, she had fallen into a sound sleep. He, on the other hand, lay awake for what seemed like hours, turning the problem over and over in his head.
It wasn’t his business, really. Dustin wasn’t his friend—far from it—and it wasn’t his place to drop this kind of a bomb on him. Plus, maybe Dustin knew about it already. Maybe his marriage had already crumbled and Chris was just the last to know.
“Looks like your bagel’s almost on fire, there, Chris,” a voice behind him said. It was Dustin, of course. [of course! Looks like I recognized contrivance even as I wrote this! Didn’t stop me from writing it, though]
“Uhh … thanks. Yeah. I, uh, prefer them well-done,” he said, scooting the blackened bread onto a plate.
“Hey, to each his own, huh?” Dustin laughed.
“Yeah.” Chris couldn’t make eye contact with him.
“Well, enjoy.”
“Yep.”
“Chris?”
“Yeah?” He finally looked at Dustin, managing what he hoped was a friendly smile.
“I think she’s okay.”
“Uh … what?” What did that mean? Maybe Dustin knew about Barry and Alex and was fine with it. Maybe it was like a kink or something?
“Angel. You asked me to look after her. I think she’s okay.”
“Oh. Oh. Right. Angel … Yeah. Thanks, Dustin. I appreciate it. I haven’t really spoken to her since … I … uh … you using the toaster?”
“Thanks.”
“Is she … with Jeff?” Chris meant to drop it and walk away, but couldn’t.
“I don’t know, really. But she seems fine.”
“Right, yeah. None of my business anyway I guess.”
“I understand wanting to know, man.”
“Yeah.” Chris spread cream cheese on his blackened bagel.
Dustin’s phone rang. “Scuse me. Hey, sweetie. How’s your sister doing? Aww, I’m sorry to hear that. Tonight too? Well, whatever she needs. I hope I get to see you one of these nights, though, darlin’. Okay. I’ll call you later. Love you.”
Chris swallowed hard. “Catch you later, man,” he said, wrapping his bagel in a napkin. He wasn’t particularly hungry anymore. [was he really going to eat that burnt bagel in the first place?]
NOTES:
1) I think we should commend Chris for the fact that his immediate reaction to Dustin’s “she’s okay” was NOT Angel. Somehow, a character managed to think about someone other than her. Amazing. This is, however, counteracted by the fact that his anxiety about Dustin’s wife cheating on him was immediately dissolved by the mention of Her Blondness.
2) Man, I remember those toasters in the college cafeteria ... your bread either never got toasted or it got stuck behind someone else's bagel and caught on fire. Good times. There are lots of things I miss about college, but the cafeteria is not one of them.
COMING UP NEXT:
Angel shows up at the Armsocks Abode. Should someone cue the "bow chicka wow wow" music, or will Rick Steiner get there before she compromises her "morals"? Tune in next time for ...
Chapter 68 - Angel Arrives
Showing posts with label Dustin Rhodes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dustin Rhodes. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
Chapter 59: Invitations
Sorry for that long hiatus. I was up in the frozen northeast visiting family and having job interviews and drinking a lot of cola products. Mmm, boy! Now I'm back in the frozen Southern mid-atlantic sitting on my couch and obsessing about how my job interviews went and drinking a lot of tea. And, of course, updating Unabashedly Bad.
So ... where were we? Ah, yes. Dustin worried about Angel's decision to leave a bar with that nefarious ladykiller, Jeff Hardy. Angel and Jeff partook in some frisky business (not the kind that can get you pregnant, just the kind that can spread disease, but who worries about that in this day and age?). Angel repeatedly congratulated herself for not thinking about what she was doing. Jeff invited Angel to brunch. I assume she ordered eggs sunny-side up, both to match her sunny personality and to bring out the blonde in her hair. Today? Jeffgel bore us some more and then we go back to Angel's office. Get comfy folks, this is a long one:
Chapter 59: Invitations
Jeff was funny and easy to talk to. Nothing was awkward, nothing was difficult [except keeping your pants on]. The reason for that, Angel assumed, was that they had no expectations of each other. She was probably just Jeff’s latest conquest and he … well … he was her rebound. No relationship, no worries. So Angel was somewhat taken aback when Jeff asked her to visit him on his vacation.
“You want me to what?”
“Visit me. In North Carolina. I’ve got some time off coming to me and I’m going home for a bit. I want you to come.”
“Jeff …”
“Don’t answer yet. Just think about it. No pressure, Angel. I just like you and want to see you again.”
“Jeff, look, I’m just coming off a really bad relationship and I don’t want to get involved with anyone right now.”
“Angel, if you’re saying that because you don’t want to see me again, that’s cool, but if you’re saying that because you’re relationship-phobic, uhm, seriously, it’s cool, because I am too. I don’t want to get involved right now either. I just think it would be fun. And I know it’s kind of forward of me to ask, but I figured what the hell, you know?”
She smiled at him and shook her head. “You are one bold fellow.”
Jeff laughed. “So just think about it, okay? That’s all I’m asking.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Allright.”
“Allright.” Jeff smiled at her as if she knew she’d be accepting his offer. She wasn’t as sure as he seemed to be that this was a good idea, but she was also not entirely sure she’d be able to turn him down, either. [those slash-burns are pretty mesmerizing]
----
As Angel set up the infirmary that night, she tried to focus on the task at hand instead of letting her mind drift to Jeff’s invitation. She was so lost in thought that she barely noticed Dustin standing in the doorway.
“Hey,” he said, “I startle you?”
“Oh, hey Dustin. Sorry, I was just lost in thought.”
“You got a minute, Angel?”
“Uhm, I don’t know.”
“The card doesn’t start for two hours.” [then what are you doing there?]
“Well there’s a lot more setting up to do.”
“Angel? Are you mad at me?”
She put down the box of gauze she had been aimlessly relocating and sighed. [Good ol’ gauze. Can’t have an infirmary without it.] “No, Dustin, I’m not mad at you. I’m just avoiding the conversation I know you’re trying to start with me.”
“How much longer do you want to avoid it? I can come back,” he said with mock seriousness. She laughed reluctantly.
“Allright.” She sat on a cot and he took a folding chair. “So how was your honeymoon?”
“Great. Beautiful. Three weeks ago.”
“Sounds nice. Except for that last part.”
“What happened, Angel?” [on the honeymoon? Weren’t you there? Oh. Wait. He’s talking about Angel’s life. Of course. How silly of me.]
She set her gaze to a remote corner of the room and exhaled. “Chris and I broke up.”
“Why? Was it because of …”
“It was because he ran into his ex-girlfriend and slept with her.” [uhm, I think there was something that happened before that event, but hey, let’s go with it]
“Oh. Wow[lions]. Man, I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, well. Those are the breaks, huh?”
“Angel …”
“I’m fine, Dustin. Really.”
“Angel, you can’t be fine.”
“Allright, well, I’m not fine per se, but I’m dealing.”
“With Jeff Hardy?”
“Yes. Ok? Yes. I’ve got my eyes open on this, Dustin. Jeff can’t hurt me. We’re just hanging out and having fun and it’s nothing even remotely serious. And look, I’m sorry I snapped at you before, because I know you’re just looking out for me, but I’m good, OK?”
“Ok Angel. I just worry about you. And I want you to be OK.”
“I know, Dustin.” She gave him a tight hug. “So look … isn’t it about time I meet Alex while she’s not in a big poufy dress? We should grab dinner one of these nights, the three of us.” [so I’m guessing that Angel just assumes Dustin has not manned up about his lip-tryst with Angel, otherwise why the hell would she suggest such a meeting?]
“That would be good. But her sister is having a baby and it’s been a rough pregnancy. The due date is soon and Alex has been spending a lot of time over there.”
“Oh … well, I sure hope everything is OK.”
“Yeah. I’m sure everything will be fine. Maybe you two can meet at the Halloween party.”
“That’s like, almost two months from now.”
“I know, but I’m so psyched already.”
Angel giggled. “Always good to have something to look forward to.”
“Yeah, well with Tahiti behind me, I’ve got to be excited about something ahead of me.” [how about years of wedded bliss? Or further delightful folding-chair conversation with the blondest, beautifullest woman ever?]
“Tell me about Tahiti.”
“It was so insanely beautiful … just so … not here. You know?”
“Not where? Baltimore?”
“Yes. No. Yes. Not anywhere familiar. We travel all over, you know? But we never go anywhere. It was nice to just get away.”
“I’m officially jealous.”
“You should be,” he said with a grin.
“Allright, Dustin. I seriously do have to finish setting up here.” [gauze doesn’t unbox itself]
“Yeah, I’ve got to change anyway. Good catching up with you, Ang.”
“You too, Dustin. And thanks for looking out for me.”
“That’s what friends are for,” he said, leaving her office.
Tahiti, thought Angel. Wouldn’t it be amazing to get away from everyone she knew, even if it was just for a few days? Even if it wasn’t Tahiti, but just North Carolina?
She dialed Jeff’s number.
NOTES:
1) Angel is correct. North Carolina is most assuredly not Tahiti. Case in point: today’s temperature in Tahiti: 83. North Carolina? 25. Ugg.
2) How many of you thought for a second that Angel was not going to call Jeff? No hands? Really? Not one?
ALLLLLLRIGHTY then. Coming up next …
Ladies and gents, there’s a 100% Angel-free chapter up next! Woo-hoo! Tune in next time for a semi-interesting conversation between Chris and Justina! There will be mildly witty dialogue and evidence of my disinterest in US geography. See you then for …
Chapter 60: Passenger
So ... where were we? Ah, yes. Dustin worried about Angel's decision to leave a bar with that nefarious ladykiller, Jeff Hardy. Angel and Jeff partook in some frisky business (not the kind that can get you pregnant, just the kind that can spread disease, but who worries about that in this day and age?). Angel repeatedly congratulated herself for not thinking about what she was doing. Jeff invited Angel to brunch. I assume she ordered eggs sunny-side up, both to match her sunny personality and to bring out the blonde in her hair. Today? Jeffgel bore us some more and then we go back to Angel's office. Get comfy folks, this is a long one:
Chapter 59: Invitations
Jeff was funny and easy to talk to. Nothing was awkward, nothing was difficult [except keeping your pants on]. The reason for that, Angel assumed, was that they had no expectations of each other. She was probably just Jeff’s latest conquest and he … well … he was her rebound. No relationship, no worries. So Angel was somewhat taken aback when Jeff asked her to visit him on his vacation.
“You want me to what?”
“Visit me. In North Carolina. I’ve got some time off coming to me and I’m going home for a bit. I want you to come.”
“Jeff …”
“Don’t answer yet. Just think about it. No pressure, Angel. I just like you and want to see you again.”
“Jeff, look, I’m just coming off a really bad relationship and I don’t want to get involved with anyone right now.”
“Angel, if you’re saying that because you don’t want to see me again, that’s cool, but if you’re saying that because you’re relationship-phobic, uhm, seriously, it’s cool, because I am too. I don’t want to get involved right now either. I just think it would be fun. And I know it’s kind of forward of me to ask, but I figured what the hell, you know?”
She smiled at him and shook her head. “You are one bold fellow.”
Jeff laughed. “So just think about it, okay? That’s all I’m asking.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Allright.”
“Allright.” Jeff smiled at her as if she knew she’d be accepting his offer. She wasn’t as sure as he seemed to be that this was a good idea, but she was also not entirely sure she’d be able to turn him down, either. [those slash-burns are pretty mesmerizing]
----
As Angel set up the infirmary that night, she tried to focus on the task at hand instead of letting her mind drift to Jeff’s invitation. She was so lost in thought that she barely noticed Dustin standing in the doorway.
“Hey,” he said, “I startle you?”
“Oh, hey Dustin. Sorry, I was just lost in thought.”
“You got a minute, Angel?”
“Uhm, I don’t know.”
“The card doesn’t start for two hours.” [then what are you doing there?]
“Well there’s a lot more setting up to do.”
“Angel? Are you mad at me?”
She put down the box of gauze she had been aimlessly relocating and sighed. [Good ol’ gauze. Can’t have an infirmary without it.] “No, Dustin, I’m not mad at you. I’m just avoiding the conversation I know you’re trying to start with me.”
“How much longer do you want to avoid it? I can come back,” he said with mock seriousness. She laughed reluctantly.
“Allright.” She sat on a cot and he took a folding chair. “So how was your honeymoon?”
“Great. Beautiful. Three weeks ago.”
“Sounds nice. Except for that last part.”
“What happened, Angel?” [on the honeymoon? Weren’t you there? Oh. Wait. He’s talking about Angel’s life. Of course. How silly of me.]
She set her gaze to a remote corner of the room and exhaled. “Chris and I broke up.”
“Why? Was it because of …”
“It was because he ran into his ex-girlfriend and slept with her.” [uhm, I think there was something that happened before that event, but hey, let’s go with it]
“Oh. Wow[lions]. Man, I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, well. Those are the breaks, huh?”
“Angel …”
“I’m fine, Dustin. Really.”
“Angel, you can’t be fine.”
“Allright, well, I’m not fine per se, but I’m dealing.”
“With Jeff Hardy?”
“Yes. Ok? Yes. I’ve got my eyes open on this, Dustin. Jeff can’t hurt me. We’re just hanging out and having fun and it’s nothing even remotely serious. And look, I’m sorry I snapped at you before, because I know you’re just looking out for me, but I’m good, OK?”
“Ok Angel. I just worry about you. And I want you to be OK.”
“I know, Dustin.” She gave him a tight hug. “So look … isn’t it about time I meet Alex while she’s not in a big poufy dress? We should grab dinner one of these nights, the three of us.” [so I’m guessing that Angel just assumes Dustin has not manned up about his lip-tryst with Angel, otherwise why the hell would she suggest such a meeting?]
“That would be good. But her sister is having a baby and it’s been a rough pregnancy. The due date is soon and Alex has been spending a lot of time over there.”
“Oh … well, I sure hope everything is OK.”
“Yeah. I’m sure everything will be fine. Maybe you two can meet at the Halloween party.”
“That’s like, almost two months from now.”
“I know, but I’m so psyched already.”
Angel giggled. “Always good to have something to look forward to.”
“Yeah, well with Tahiti behind me, I’ve got to be excited about something ahead of me.” [how about years of wedded bliss? Or further delightful folding-chair conversation with the blondest, beautifullest woman ever?]
“Tell me about Tahiti.”
“It was so insanely beautiful … just so … not here. You know?”
“Not where? Baltimore?”
“Yes. No. Yes. Not anywhere familiar. We travel all over, you know? But we never go anywhere. It was nice to just get away.”
“I’m officially jealous.”
“You should be,” he said with a grin.
“Allright, Dustin. I seriously do have to finish setting up here.” [gauze doesn’t unbox itself]
“Yeah, I’ve got to change anyway. Good catching up with you, Ang.”
“You too, Dustin. And thanks for looking out for me.”
“That’s what friends are for,” he said, leaving her office.
Tahiti, thought Angel. Wouldn’t it be amazing to get away from everyone she knew, even if it was just for a few days? Even if it wasn’t Tahiti, but just North Carolina?
She dialed Jeff’s number.
NOTES:
1) Angel is correct. North Carolina is most assuredly not Tahiti. Case in point: today’s temperature in Tahiti: 83. North Carolina? 25. Ugg.
2) How many of you thought for a second that Angel was not going to call Jeff? No hands? Really? Not one?
ALLLLLLRIGHTY then. Coming up next …
Ladies and gents, there’s a 100% Angel-free chapter up next! Woo-hoo! Tune in next time for a semi-interesting conversation between Chris and Justina! There will be mildly witty dialogue and evidence of my disinterest in US geography. See you then for …
Chapter 60: Passenger
Friday, October 30, 2009
Chapter 56: The Other Half (Part II)
As I suggested last week, this chapter is pretty much just Angel talking on the phone. If it helps, you can imagine that other, more interesting things are happening in the background. Perhaps dancing manatees are involved. Or ninjas. Who doesn’t love a ninja?
In other news … my love … for ellipses … is … overwhelmingly obvious … in … this chapter.
Chapter 56: The Other Half (part II)
When Angel looked at her answering machine, her heart fluttered … there were four messages. Maybe he had called?
“Angel? This is Dustin. Look … just call me as soon as you get this.”
“Angel … this is Scott. Give me a ring when you can.”
“Angel … Dustin again. Please call me soon. I’m worried about you.”
And then …
“Hey there Angel. I don’t know if you remember me or not, but I’m betting that you do. You lost at tic tac toe to a handsome stranger … that handsome stranger was me. [that is so smooth I can barely stand it. Fellas, take notes]. Anyway …. I’d love to hang out again. I’ll call you later.”
Angel barely prevented herself from squealing. He had called. And he said he’d call later! When the phone rang again, she was so excited that she forgot to see what it was.
“Hello?”
“Angel? I’m so glad I finally caught you!”
“Oh … hey Dustin. What’s up?” [cue the manatees!]
“Angel … about the other night …”
“Dustin. I know you’re just looking out for me … but I’m a grown woman.”
“I know, I know … but he’s bad news.” [bad news? Who talks like that?]
“So what?”
“He’s not your type, darlin’.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have a type, Dustin. Maybe I should just have a good time hanging out with Jeff.”
“He’s just … he’s a bad sort. Our partying all the time, going through women like water … he’s no gentleman.” [no, seriously: who talks like that?]
“Dustin … do you know how many gentlemen turn out to be scumbags? I’ve dated enough nice guys to know that they break your heart too. So if I know Jeff is a jerk to begin with, which I don’t even actually know, maybe that’s to my ultimate advantage.”
“Angel …”
“I have to go, Dustin. Have a nice night.” [won’t she see him later? Doesn’t she, you know, work with him?]
Angel hung up the phone before he could reply or protest. She knew her friend meant well, but the absolute last thing she watned to do right now was get love advice from Dustin Rhodes.
The phone rang again … it was Jeff. Angel took a deep breath and answered it.
“Hello?”
“Hey pretty lady.” [cue the ninjas!]
“Hey smooth talker.”
“So I think we should hang out.”
“Me too. “
“Excellent. I’m in town for three more nights.” [what kind of wrestling card lasts three nights?!?]
“We’d better not waste any time then.”
“I agree. I’ll pick you up at seven.” [wait … when is he going to wrestle?]
“See you then, Jeff.”
“Later, Angel.”
Angel hung up the phone and sunk into the couch [in her hotel room? Does she have a suite? Or are we suddenly back in her apartment again?] Seven! What should she wear? Three more nights? And then what? But she couldn’t allow herself to worry about that now. Jeff Hardy wasn’t about the future, he was about now. And now she had to go get something to wear. [why not just wear your outfit from Sting’s party? That was a hit!]
NOTES
1) When was the last time Angel did anything related to her job? Or, for that matter, anyone wrestled?
2) I wonder what Scott wanted. Maybe to let Angel know that he’s in town, seeing as how Jeff is there. Scott is supposedly still in the WWF, which is of course where Jeff is. Yeah, my wrestling chronology is completely screwed up. I obviously wanted to introduce Jeff, but in doing so, needed to conveniently ignore the fact that 6 years of wrestling storylines and brand switches have elapsed. Hooray for artistic license!
3) Sort of hanging up on Dustin is the least lame thing Angel has ever done.
COMING UP NEXT …
Angel buys underwear. Oh man. I’m sooooo sorry about this. And then she goes on a date with Jeff. If you’ve got the intestinal fortitude [tm Gorilla Monsoon], tune in next week for …
Chapter 57: One Night
In other news … my love … for ellipses … is … overwhelmingly obvious … in … this chapter.
Chapter 56: The Other Half (part II)
When Angel looked at her answering machine, her heart fluttered … there were four messages. Maybe he had called?
“Angel? This is Dustin. Look … just call me as soon as you get this.”
“Angel … this is Scott. Give me a ring when you can.”
“Angel … Dustin again. Please call me soon. I’m worried about you.”
And then …
“Hey there Angel. I don’t know if you remember me or not, but I’m betting that you do. You lost at tic tac toe to a handsome stranger … that handsome stranger was me. [that is so smooth I can barely stand it. Fellas, take notes]. Anyway …. I’d love to hang out again. I’ll call you later.”
Angel barely prevented herself from squealing. He had called. And he said he’d call later! When the phone rang again, she was so excited that she forgot to see what it was.
“Hello?”
“Angel? I’m so glad I finally caught you!”
“Oh … hey Dustin. What’s up?” [cue the manatees!]
“Angel … about the other night …”
“Dustin. I know you’re just looking out for me … but I’m a grown woman.”
“I know, I know … but he’s bad news.” [bad news? Who talks like that?]
“So what?”
“He’s not your type, darlin’.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have a type, Dustin. Maybe I should just have a good time hanging out with Jeff.”
“He’s just … he’s a bad sort. Our partying all the time, going through women like water … he’s no gentleman.” [no, seriously: who talks like that?]
“Dustin … do you know how many gentlemen turn out to be scumbags? I’ve dated enough nice guys to know that they break your heart too. So if I know Jeff is a jerk to begin with, which I don’t even actually know, maybe that’s to my ultimate advantage.”
“Angel …”
“I have to go, Dustin. Have a nice night.” [won’t she see him later? Doesn’t she, you know, work with him?]
Angel hung up the phone before he could reply or protest. She knew her friend meant well, but the absolute last thing she watned to do right now was get love advice from Dustin Rhodes.
The phone rang again … it was Jeff. Angel took a deep breath and answered it.
“Hello?”
“Hey pretty lady.” [cue the ninjas!]
“Hey smooth talker.”
“So I think we should hang out.”
“Me too. “
“Excellent. I’m in town for three more nights.” [what kind of wrestling card lasts three nights?!?]
“We’d better not waste any time then.”
“I agree. I’ll pick you up at seven.” [wait … when is he going to wrestle?]
“See you then, Jeff.”
“Later, Angel.”
Angel hung up the phone and sunk into the couch [in her hotel room? Does she have a suite? Or are we suddenly back in her apartment again?] Seven! What should she wear? Three more nights? And then what? But she couldn’t allow herself to worry about that now. Jeff Hardy wasn’t about the future, he was about now. And now she had to go get something to wear. [why not just wear your outfit from Sting’s party? That was a hit!]
NOTES
1) When was the last time Angel did anything related to her job? Or, for that matter, anyone wrestled?
2) I wonder what Scott wanted. Maybe to let Angel know that he’s in town, seeing as how Jeff is there. Scott is supposedly still in the WWF, which is of course where Jeff is. Yeah, my wrestling chronology is completely screwed up. I obviously wanted to introduce Jeff, but in doing so, needed to conveniently ignore the fact that 6 years of wrestling storylines and brand switches have elapsed. Hooray for artistic license!
3) Sort of hanging up on Dustin is the least lame thing Angel has ever done.
COMING UP NEXT …
Angel buys underwear. Oh man. I’m sooooo sorry about this. And then she goes on a date with Jeff. If you’ve got the intestinal fortitude [tm Gorilla Monsoon], tune in next week for …
Chapter 57: One Night
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Chapter 56: The Other Half (part I)
Hail, fearless readers. Last week, Jeff nauseated the entire galaxy by singing the praises of Angel's lips. This week, our stomach linings are granted a reprieve: today's chapter is approximately 87% Angel-Free. Whee!
Chapter 56: The Other Half (part I)
Angel felt as if her insides were made of gelatin. What had just happened? She grinned. Her phone rang.
“No way. He can’t be calling that soon,” she reasoned. But her heart leapt at the idea. But the caller ID was Dustin. [caller ID! Ha! Remember that?] She turned the ringer off and went to bed.
------
“Chris? You in there somewhere?” Justina asked, waving her arms theatrically in front of his face.
“Yeah … Yeah. Sorry, Foss. I’m just …”
“Thinking about the blonde.”
“How did you know she was blonde?”
“Benoit, you have a picture of her in your wallet.” [does anyone actually carry pictures of their girlfriends in their wallets?]
“Where did you get my wallet?”
“It’s open here on the end table. You should really keep track of it better.”
“Yeah. Hey, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. Look … I know things are really confusing for you right now. I’m sorry I complicated everything.”
“Two to tango, Foss.”
“I know. Look, Chris … I didn’t want to ruin your life.”
Chris put his hands on her shoulders and looked at her intently. “Foss, you didn’t ruin anything. I’ve just got to sort some things out.”
She took his hands into hers and kissed them. “I have to go to work. I’ll see you later.”
Chris kissed her forehead and began to pack up his gear [woo! Duffel bagging!]. He exchanged nods and smiles with the other wrestlers who filtered through the dressing room and headed into the corridor. [sooo … this whole exchange took place in a dressing room? What was Justina doing there? Why would Chris have his wallet out on a table? How many dressing/locker rooms feature end tables?]
“Hey,” someone called behind him. Chris spun around to see Dustin Rhodes.
“What?”
“You going to tell me what’s going on with Angel?” [woah, that’s a bit forward, no?]
Chris put his bags down.
“Why the hell should I? You’re the one who screwed us up in the first place. So just back off, Rodeo Clown. I have nothing to explain to you. I owe you nothing.”
“Fair enough. Look, I know you have no reason to trust me or listen to me. And I also know that you and Angel’s relationship is none of my business … But I’m worried about her.”
“Dustin, I know she’s upset, but …”
“No—it’s not that. Chris, she left a bar last night with Jeff Hardy.”
“Jeff Hardy?”
“Yes. And when I tried to stop her, she went berserk on me. Chris, that fella is just no good. Parties all the time … with a different woman every night. Now, I’m not telling you what to do or how to run your love life, but I am telling you that you were so good for Angel, and I feel like a piece of garbage for getting in between y’all, and I’d do anything to get her away from that creep. I’ve said my piece.” [how patronizingly thoughtful of you]
Chris was silent. He clenched his jaw and offered his hand to Dustin.
“I appreciate that, Dustin. She doesn’t want to talk to me right now, and I don’t blame her. I screwed up bad. Bad. It’s going to take time. And my life is really confusing right now. So please, if you could, look after her as best you can?”
“Sure thing, Chris,” said Dustin, shaking Chris’s hand.
Chris ran his fingers through his hair, [ah, the classic physical manifestation of angst] picked up his bags, and left the arena.
NOTES:
1) Don’t you love it when male characters ask other male characters to “look after” female characters as if they were small children? Way to be progressive, college me.
2) I love how everyone knows Jeff Hardy well enough to have heard of him both as a wrestler and as a womanizer, but Angel couldn’t recognize him at the bar.
3) I kind of liked Chris in this chapter. Until he started showing concern for Angel.
COMING UP NEXT ....
In this chapter's exciting conclusion, Angel talks to various people on the phone. Wait, let me read it over again ... yeah, no, it's just talking to people on the phone. That's it.
See you next time for ...
Chapter 56: The Other Half (Part II)
Chapter 56: The Other Half (part I)
Angel felt as if her insides were made of gelatin. What had just happened? She grinned. Her phone rang.
“No way. He can’t be calling that soon,” she reasoned. But her heart leapt at the idea. But the caller ID was Dustin. [caller ID! Ha! Remember that?] She turned the ringer off and went to bed.
------
“Chris? You in there somewhere?” Justina asked, waving her arms theatrically in front of his face.
“Yeah … Yeah. Sorry, Foss. I’m just …”
“Thinking about the blonde.”
“How did you know she was blonde?”
“Benoit, you have a picture of her in your wallet.” [does anyone actually carry pictures of their girlfriends in their wallets?]
“Where did you get my wallet?”
“It’s open here on the end table. You should really keep track of it better.”
“Yeah. Hey, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. Look … I know things are really confusing for you right now. I’m sorry I complicated everything.”
“Two to tango, Foss.”
“I know. Look, Chris … I didn’t want to ruin your life.”
Chris put his hands on her shoulders and looked at her intently. “Foss, you didn’t ruin anything. I’ve just got to sort some things out.”
She took his hands into hers and kissed them. “I have to go to work. I’ll see you later.”
Chris kissed her forehead and began to pack up his gear [woo! Duffel bagging!]. He exchanged nods and smiles with the other wrestlers who filtered through the dressing room and headed into the corridor. [sooo … this whole exchange took place in a dressing room? What was Justina doing there? Why would Chris have his wallet out on a table? How many dressing/locker rooms feature end tables?]
“Hey,” someone called behind him. Chris spun around to see Dustin Rhodes.
“What?”
“You going to tell me what’s going on with Angel?” [woah, that’s a bit forward, no?]
Chris put his bags down.
“Why the hell should I? You’re the one who screwed us up in the first place. So just back off, Rodeo Clown. I have nothing to explain to you. I owe you nothing.”
“Fair enough. Look, I know you have no reason to trust me or listen to me. And I also know that you and Angel’s relationship is none of my business … But I’m worried about her.”
“Dustin, I know she’s upset, but …”
“No—it’s not that. Chris, she left a bar last night with Jeff Hardy.”
“Jeff Hardy?”
“Yes. And when I tried to stop her, she went berserk on me. Chris, that fella is just no good. Parties all the time … with a different woman every night. Now, I’m not telling you what to do or how to run your love life, but I am telling you that you were so good for Angel, and I feel like a piece of garbage for getting in between y’all, and I’d do anything to get her away from that creep. I’ve said my piece.” [how patronizingly thoughtful of you]
Chris was silent. He clenched his jaw and offered his hand to Dustin.
“I appreciate that, Dustin. She doesn’t want to talk to me right now, and I don’t blame her. I screwed up bad. Bad. It’s going to take time. And my life is really confusing right now. So please, if you could, look after her as best you can?”
“Sure thing, Chris,” said Dustin, shaking Chris’s hand.
Chris ran his fingers through his hair, [ah, the classic physical manifestation of angst] picked up his bags, and left the arena.
NOTES:
1) Don’t you love it when male characters ask other male characters to “look after” female characters as if they were small children? Way to be progressive, college me.
2) I love how everyone knows Jeff Hardy well enough to have heard of him both as a wrestler and as a womanizer, but Angel couldn’t recognize him at the bar.
3) I kind of liked Chris in this chapter. Until he started showing concern for Angel.
COMING UP NEXT ....
In this chapter's exciting conclusion, Angel talks to various people on the phone. Wait, let me read it over again ... yeah, no, it's just talking to people on the phone. That's it.
See you next time for ...
Chapter 56: The Other Half (Part II)
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Chapter 55: Reevaluation (Part 2)
Welcome back, all. If you've made it this far, you've got a pretty strong stomach. And trust me, you're gonna need it for today's installment.
Chapter 55: Reevaluation (Part 2)
“You are?”
“Jeff Hardy.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard of you. You and your brother wrestle in WWF.”
“That’s me.”
“You guys are good.” [so you’ve heard of them, know that they’re good, but can’t recognize him? Oookay.]
“You have incredible lips, Angelica Kerris.” [oh barf.]
She tilted her head to one side and gave him a lopsided grin. [tm Joey Potter, I think. I lurved me some Dawson’s Creek back in the day. And by “back in the day” I mean I might have it on in the background as I type this.] “You’re quit the charmer, aren’t you?”
He pushed the bar napkin back towards her. “Wouldn’t you like to find out for sure?”
“And so full of yourself.” But she pulled the napkin towards her and lifted the pen. Before she could put a single digit on the paper, however, she became aware of a figure hovering over her.
“This creep bothering you, Angel?”
She looked up to see Dustin giving dirty glances to Jeff. Jeff stood up and glared back. [what is Dustin doing there? Aren’t they in Minnesota?]
“He’s fine, Dustin. I’m fine.”
“Stay away from him, Angel. He’s trouble.”
“Why don’t you back off and mind your own business, cowboy?” Jeff suggested, voice low and stern.
“Why don’t you,” Dustin began, but Angel gently pushed him aside.
“I said I’m fine, Dustin. We were just leaving.”
“You’re leaving with him?”
“Yes. Goodnight. Go home to your wife. I can take care of myself.”
“Angel,” Dustin half-whispered, “I know this guy. He’s not the kind of person you want to spend your time with. Where’s Chris?”
“I appreciate you looking out for me Dustin, but don’t worry about me … and don’t even breathe that man’s name to me ever again.” She turned to Jeff. “So let’s go.”
Jeff left a twenty on the bar and put his arm around Angel, leading her out of the bar. Dustin shook his head as he watched them leave.
The night was cool and foggy, but the air smelled somewhat sweet. They walked in silence for a few blocks before Jeff spoke.
“So you have some overprotective friends.”
“And you have a crappy reputation.”
“The two obviously don’t mix.”
“I guess not.”
“So are you going to give me your phone number or what?”
“Maybe.”
“Am I going to have to thrash you at tic tac toe again?”
“Maybe.”
“Where are we going?”
“You just walked me home,” she said, stopping in front of her hotel. [huh?!?]
“How about that?”
“Can you find your way back?”
“You’re not going to invite me in?” he asked with a playful smile.
“I’m not that kind of girl.”
“How should I know what kind of girl you are?”
“That’s right,” Angel mused aloud. “You don’t have any clue about who I am or how I act or what kinds of things I do or anything at all.”
“That could change.”
“Walk me to my room,” she said.
They made their way through the hotel in utterly unawkward silence. As they walked, Angel marveled at what she was doing – letting a total stranger—one with an apparently dangerous reputation—take her back to her room. What was she thinking?
As they got to her door, she turned to him. She knew what she was thinking then – he was gorgeous. She looked up at him.
“So do I get your phone number now?” he asked.
She responded by pulling him down towards her and kissing him. Taken somewhat off guard, Jeff quickly responded, placing one hand on her waist and the other on her face. Neither of them seemed willing to pull away. She could not remember the last time she had been kissed with such passion. Her knees felt watery. She gripped his arms to keep her balance. [what, no marveling at how muscular his arms are?]
When the kiss finally ended, they parted and looked at each other almost quizzically.
“I could tell,” he said after a little while.
“Tell what?”
“By looking at your lips. That you’d kiss like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like … there would be no words to describe it, only somehow only better than I imagined.” [uggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg]
“Give me a break,” she said, grinning. “You probably say that to every girl you pick up at a bar.”
“Nah. Some of them. But I rarely mean it. And I never mean it this much – ever. Scout’s honor.”
“So what is it—the way they’re shaped?” [yes, Angel. The way they’re shaped. And the fact that they’re attached to you, of course, because you are the living embodiment of scrumtrulescence.]
He lifted her chin and stared intently at her lips. “Partially—have you noticed how full your lower lip is?”
Before she could say “No,” he kissed her again softly. She almost wanted to invite him in. Almost.
“So can I get your number?”
“I suppose.” She grabbed a pen from her purse and wrote her number on a scrap of paper.
“I don’t date wrestlers,” she reminded him.
“Who’s dating? We’re just hanging out.”
“That’s fine then.”
“I’ll call you sometime, Angelica.”
“Angel.”
“If you like. It was nice meeting you, Jeff.”
“You too. Sleep well.”
“Be safe.”
He kissed her forehead. Even that small act sent tiny shivers down Angel’s spine. She smiled at him and stepped into her hotel room.
NOTES:
1) Good golly, I loathe Angel. That is all.
Coming up next ...
Chris and Justina kind of sort stuff out while Dustin inserts himself into a chapter for no reason. Tune in next time for ...
Chapter 56: The Other Half
Chapter 55: Reevaluation (Part 2)
“You are?”
“Jeff Hardy.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard of you. You and your brother wrestle in WWF.”
“That’s me.”
“You guys are good.” [so you’ve heard of them, know that they’re good, but can’t recognize him? Oookay.]
“You have incredible lips, Angelica Kerris.” [oh barf.]
She tilted her head to one side and gave him a lopsided grin. [tm Joey Potter, I think. I lurved me some Dawson’s Creek back in the day. And by “back in the day” I mean I might have it on in the background as I type this.] “You’re quit the charmer, aren’t you?”
He pushed the bar napkin back towards her. “Wouldn’t you like to find out for sure?”
“And so full of yourself.” But she pulled the napkin towards her and lifted the pen. Before she could put a single digit on the paper, however, she became aware of a figure hovering over her.
“This creep bothering you, Angel?”
She looked up to see Dustin giving dirty glances to Jeff. Jeff stood up and glared back. [what is Dustin doing there? Aren’t they in Minnesota?]
“He’s fine, Dustin. I’m fine.”
“Stay away from him, Angel. He’s trouble.”
“Why don’t you back off and mind your own business, cowboy?” Jeff suggested, voice low and stern.
“Why don’t you,” Dustin began, but Angel gently pushed him aside.
“I said I’m fine, Dustin. We were just leaving.”
“You’re leaving with him?”
“Yes. Goodnight. Go home to your wife. I can take care of myself.”
“Angel,” Dustin half-whispered, “I know this guy. He’s not the kind of person you want to spend your time with. Where’s Chris?”
“I appreciate you looking out for me Dustin, but don’t worry about me … and don’t even breathe that man’s name to me ever again.” She turned to Jeff. “So let’s go.”
Jeff left a twenty on the bar and put his arm around Angel, leading her out of the bar. Dustin shook his head as he watched them leave.
The night was cool and foggy, but the air smelled somewhat sweet. They walked in silence for a few blocks before Jeff spoke.
“So you have some overprotective friends.”
“And you have a crappy reputation.”
“The two obviously don’t mix.”
“I guess not.”
“So are you going to give me your phone number or what?”
“Maybe.”
“Am I going to have to thrash you at tic tac toe again?”
“Maybe.”
“Where are we going?”
“You just walked me home,” she said, stopping in front of her hotel. [huh?!?]
“How about that?”
“Can you find your way back?”
“You’re not going to invite me in?” he asked with a playful smile.
“I’m not that kind of girl.”
“How should I know what kind of girl you are?”
“That’s right,” Angel mused aloud. “You don’t have any clue about who I am or how I act or what kinds of things I do or anything at all.”
“That could change.”
“Walk me to my room,” she said.
They made their way through the hotel in utterly unawkward silence. As they walked, Angel marveled at what she was doing – letting a total stranger—one with an apparently dangerous reputation—take her back to her room. What was she thinking?
As they got to her door, she turned to him. She knew what she was thinking then – he was gorgeous. She looked up at him.
“So do I get your phone number now?” he asked.
She responded by pulling him down towards her and kissing him. Taken somewhat off guard, Jeff quickly responded, placing one hand on her waist and the other on her face. Neither of them seemed willing to pull away. She could not remember the last time she had been kissed with such passion. Her knees felt watery. She gripped his arms to keep her balance. [what, no marveling at how muscular his arms are?]
When the kiss finally ended, they parted and looked at each other almost quizzically.
“I could tell,” he said after a little while.
“Tell what?”
“By looking at your lips. That you’d kiss like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like … there would be no words to describe it, only somehow only better than I imagined.” [uggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg]
“Give me a break,” she said, grinning. “You probably say that to every girl you pick up at a bar.”
“Nah. Some of them. But I rarely mean it. And I never mean it this much – ever. Scout’s honor.”
“So what is it—the way they’re shaped?” [yes, Angel. The way they’re shaped. And the fact that they’re attached to you, of course, because you are the living embodiment of scrumtrulescence.]
He lifted her chin and stared intently at her lips. “Partially—have you noticed how full your lower lip is?”
Before she could say “No,” he kissed her again softly. She almost wanted to invite him in. Almost.
“So can I get your number?”
“I suppose.” She grabbed a pen from her purse and wrote her number on a scrap of paper.
“I don’t date wrestlers,” she reminded him.
“Who’s dating? We’re just hanging out.”
“That’s fine then.”
“I’ll call you sometime, Angelica.”
“Angel.”
“If you like. It was nice meeting you, Jeff.”
“You too. Sleep well.”
“Be safe.”
He kissed her forehead. Even that small act sent tiny shivers down Angel’s spine. She smiled at him and stepped into her hotel room.
NOTES:
1) Good golly, I loathe Angel. That is all.
Coming up next ...
Chris and Justina kind of sort stuff out while Dustin inserts himself into a chapter for no reason. Tune in next time for ...
Chapter 56: The Other Half
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Chapter 43: The Big Day
Salutations, friends. In last week’s thrilling chapter, Alex misplaced her French Maid costume and Barry made out with her until Dustin woke up from his nightmare in a convulsive fit of sobs. Then tissues spontaneously generated in Angel’s living room and he went back to sleep. Today: wedding! Bring it.
Chapter 43 – The Big Day
Angel sat next to Sting in the second pew at St. Joseph’s Church.
“Angel! You look fantastic!” he whispered, taking in Angel’s light blue dress. [did she buy it as part of a matching set with her couch?]
“Thanks! I hardly recognized you in that tux! Pretty spiffy!” she whispered back. [I do hope he’s wearing his facepaint as part of the ensemble.]
Rick and Scott Steiner found Angel and Sting and sat in the row behind them.
“Hey, Angie! Hey Stinger!”
The church was quieted and the organ sounded. Alexandra York, arm in arm with her father, entered. Her dress was exquisite. Pure white with a laced neck and sleeves. A long veil and train trailed behind her. She carried a bouquet of lilacs and baby’s breath that matched her bridesmaids’ gowns perfectly [why, why, why is this the only description of their dresses?]. Her dark-tan skin was glowing, and she was smiling from ear to ear as she approached Dustin. She stepped up to the alter [sic. But when you think about it, it works as a verb too] and turned to face her husband-to-be.
The minister cleared his throat and began.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of this man and woman in holy matrimony. Do you, Alexandra Denise York, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and health, for rich or for poor, to death do you part?”
“I do.”
“And do you, Dustin Matthew Rhodes, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for rich and for poor, to death do you part?”
“I do.”
“Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Dustin didn’t need to be told twice. He kissed her as he had never kissed her before. The church burst into applause. Rick Steiner whistled loudly. Scott elbowed him. Angel giggled.
“You think this is bad—at our sister Crystal’s wedding, he kept asking where to buy peanuts,” Scott said.
Everyone stood as the happy couple made their exit.
NOTES:
1) Alex’s dress: Pure white with a laced neck and sleeves. H A W T. I have an excellent picture of this in my head, but so far I haven’t found anything via google images to match it. Do let me know if any of y’all have any luck.
2) That was the shortest wedding ceremony ever. Not a bad thing. But man, why not the “speak now or forever hold your peace”? Considering the fact that at the time of writing this, the only weddings I’d ever seen were on soap operas, you would think that the Dullexandra nuptials would have been a crazy drama-infested throwdown. Alas. On a related note, has anyone ever been to an actual wedding where they say that “speak now” bit? Slice and I thought it would have been funny if the judge at our wedding said it and then stared at the crowd for a full three minutes.
3) I do not understand why I was completely incapable of writing comedy. But as evidenced by any of Rick’s “goofball antics,” I most assuredly was.
COMING UP NEXT
I didn’t know the word for “reception,” so I called it “The Wedding Party.” This chapter includes: a reference to Mysterious Brother Danny, some trademark Rick goofball antics, and a couple dozen more reasons to loathe Angel. See you next time in …
Chapter 44 – The Wedding Party
Chapter 43 – The Big Day
Angel sat next to Sting in the second pew at St. Joseph’s Church.
“Angel! You look fantastic!” he whispered, taking in Angel’s light blue dress. [did she buy it as part of a matching set with her couch?]
“Thanks! I hardly recognized you in that tux! Pretty spiffy!” she whispered back. [I do hope he’s wearing his facepaint as part of the ensemble.]
Rick and Scott Steiner found Angel and Sting and sat in the row behind them.
“Hey, Angie! Hey Stinger!”
The church was quieted and the organ sounded. Alexandra York, arm in arm with her father, entered. Her dress was exquisite. Pure white with a laced neck and sleeves. A long veil and train trailed behind her. She carried a bouquet of lilacs and baby’s breath that matched her bridesmaids’ gowns perfectly [why, why, why is this the only description of their dresses?]. Her dark-tan skin was glowing, and she was smiling from ear to ear as she approached Dustin. She stepped up to the alter [sic. But when you think about it, it works as a verb too] and turned to face her husband-to-be.
The minister cleared his throat and began.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of this man and woman in holy matrimony. Do you, Alexandra Denise York, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and health, for rich or for poor, to death do you part?”
“I do.”
“And do you, Dustin Matthew Rhodes, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for rich and for poor, to death do you part?”
“I do.”
“Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Dustin didn’t need to be told twice. He kissed her as he had never kissed her before. The church burst into applause. Rick Steiner whistled loudly. Scott elbowed him. Angel giggled.
“You think this is bad—at our sister Crystal’s wedding, he kept asking where to buy peanuts,” Scott said.
Everyone stood as the happy couple made their exit.
NOTES:
1) Alex’s dress: Pure white with a laced neck and sleeves. H A W T. I have an excellent picture of this in my head, but so far I haven’t found anything via google images to match it. Do let me know if any of y’all have any luck.
2) That was the shortest wedding ceremony ever. Not a bad thing. But man, why not the “speak now or forever hold your peace”? Considering the fact that at the time of writing this, the only weddings I’d ever seen were on soap operas, you would think that the Dullexandra nuptials would have been a crazy drama-infested throwdown. Alas. On a related note, has anyone ever been to an actual wedding where they say that “speak now” bit? Slice and I thought it would have been funny if the judge at our wedding said it and then stared at the crowd for a full three minutes.
3) I do not understand why I was completely incapable of writing comedy. But as evidenced by any of Rick’s “goofball antics,” I most assuredly was.
COMING UP NEXT
I didn’t know the word for “reception,” so I called it “The Wedding Party.” This chapter includes: a reference to Mysterious Brother Danny, some trademark Rick goofball antics, and a couple dozen more reasons to loathe Angel. See you next time in …
Chapter 44 – The Wedding Party
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Chapter 42: Cry in the Night
Last week, Dustin showed up at Angel's house, cried on her, and slept on her sofa. But you know what? He really didn't cry enough. You could barely even call it "egregious." What do you say we make up for it today in ...
Chapter 42: Cry in the Night
Dustin stepped into his bedroom. Alex was sitting up waiting for him.
“Dustin! What’re you doing here?”
“What?”
“Don’t bother explaining. Barry told me it all.” She said nonchalantly.
“You … you … you were talking to Barry?”
“Well, yeah. I’m just surprised you didn’t find out sooner.”
“Find out what?”
“That I’m sleeping with him.”
“A … Ah … Alex. [ellipses between letters = awesome] You … you and he didn’t. He was lying.”
“Oh, come off it, Dustin.” She yawned. “Barry!” she called, “Come here!”
Barry Windham appeared from the bathroom.
“Hey, Dustin,” he greeted, as if nothing had ever happened between them. Barry climbed into bed with Alexandra.
“What kind of a joke is this? Alex, you’re gonna marry me!”
Alexandra York laughed. “I never said I’d marry you! Did you hear that, Barry?”
Barry was too consumed with laughter to reply.
“Now, Dustin, if you’ll excuse us, we have fantasies to act out! Barry, where’d you put my French Maid outfit?” She searched in the closet.
“Alex …” Dustin pleaded. Tears rolled down his cheeks. “I love you.”
Alexander came out of her closet and approached Dustin. “I know you do. But I don’t love you. I never did. You have to stop blocking out the past. I chose Barry, not you. I’m going to marry him.”
“No. No you didn’t. You’ve got it all wrong, Alex.”
“Dustin, stop it!” She was irritated now. Barry stood next to her.
“C’mon Alex,” said Barry. “Let’s pretend he’s gone, and maybe he’ll take the hint.” Barry wrapped his lips around hers and she melted into his arms.
“No! No! No!” Dustin yelled. “No!” He broke off and began to sob, chest convulsing. [convulsing? That’s something, even for Dustin.]
Angel ran down the stairs as soon as she heard Dustin’s shouts. [Angel? What’s she doing in Dustin’s bedroom … wait a minute … don’t tell me that was all a dream? Awww shucks.]
“Dustin? Oh my god, are you allright?” she stopped when she saw that he was in bed, safe. She rushed over to him and shook him gently. Dustin stopped thrashing around, but couldn’t stop crying [of course].
“Dustin, honey, it’s only a nightmare, wake up.” She shook him harder and he awoke with a start. “Dustin, it was a nightmare, calm down.” She grasped his shoulders.
“Oh, Angel. Thank god.” He blurted out, panting. He wiped at his eyes. Angel handed him a [wait for it … wait for it …] box of tissues. [HUZZAH!]
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Dustin shook his head.
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I’ll be Okay.”
“You had me scared half to death.”
“Did I scream or something?”
“Yeah. You sure you’re all right?”
“Yeah. Go back to sleep, I’m fine.”
“Okay. Sweet dreams, Dustin.” She kissed his forehead.
NOTES:
1) I would say: “wait, how was that a chapter? All that happened was Dustin had a nightmare, cried, and got handed tissues.” But Barry was in it, Dustin got shot down, and Alex had lines. I’ll take it.
2) Dustin, why are you such a wuss in your own dream? Crying while conscious is not enough for you, is it? You have to turn into a puddle of tears while you’re sleeping too?
3) Barry’s strategy for getting Dustin out of the room was awesome. Let’s make out and he’ll leave. Solid plan, my friend.
COMING UP NEXT:
Will Dustin tell Alex about Barry’s outburst or Angel’s couch? Who will Angel share her buffet plate with? Will someone speak now, or will peace forever be held? Find out next week in …
Chapter 43: The Big Day
Chapter 42: Cry in the Night
Dustin stepped into his bedroom. Alex was sitting up waiting for him.
“Dustin! What’re you doing here?”
“What?”
“Don’t bother explaining. Barry told me it all.” She said nonchalantly.
“You … you … you were talking to Barry?”
“Well, yeah. I’m just surprised you didn’t find out sooner.”
“Find out what?”
“That I’m sleeping with him.”
“A … Ah … Alex. [ellipses between letters = awesome] You … you and he didn’t. He was lying.”
“Oh, come off it, Dustin.” She yawned. “Barry!” she called, “Come here!”
Barry Windham appeared from the bathroom.
“Hey, Dustin,” he greeted, as if nothing had ever happened between them. Barry climbed into bed with Alexandra.
“What kind of a joke is this? Alex, you’re gonna marry me!”
Alexandra York laughed. “I never said I’d marry you! Did you hear that, Barry?”
Barry was too consumed with laughter to reply.
“Now, Dustin, if you’ll excuse us, we have fantasies to act out! Barry, where’d you put my French Maid outfit?” She searched in the closet.
“Alex …” Dustin pleaded. Tears rolled down his cheeks. “I love you.”
Alexander came out of her closet and approached Dustin. “I know you do. But I don’t love you. I never did. You have to stop blocking out the past. I chose Barry, not you. I’m going to marry him.”
“No. No you didn’t. You’ve got it all wrong, Alex.”
“Dustin, stop it!” She was irritated now. Barry stood next to her.
“C’mon Alex,” said Barry. “Let’s pretend he’s gone, and maybe he’ll take the hint.” Barry wrapped his lips around hers and she melted into his arms.
“No! No! No!” Dustin yelled. “No!” He broke off and began to sob, chest convulsing. [convulsing? That’s something, even for Dustin.]
Angel ran down the stairs as soon as she heard Dustin’s shouts. [Angel? What’s she doing in Dustin’s bedroom … wait a minute … don’t tell me that was all a dream? Awww shucks.]
“Dustin? Oh my god, are you allright?” she stopped when she saw that he was in bed, safe. She rushed over to him and shook him gently. Dustin stopped thrashing around, but couldn’t stop crying [of course].
“Dustin, honey, it’s only a nightmare, wake up.” She shook him harder and he awoke with a start. “Dustin, it was a nightmare, calm down.” She grasped his shoulders.
“Oh, Angel. Thank god.” He blurted out, panting. He wiped at his eyes. Angel handed him a [wait for it … wait for it …] box of tissues. [HUZZAH!]
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Dustin shook his head.
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I’ll be Okay.”
“You had me scared half to death.”
“Did I scream or something?”
“Yeah. You sure you’re all right?”
“Yeah. Go back to sleep, I’m fine.”
“Okay. Sweet dreams, Dustin.” She kissed his forehead.
NOTES:
1) I would say: “wait, how was that a chapter? All that happened was Dustin had a nightmare, cried, and got handed tissues.” But Barry was in it, Dustin got shot down, and Alex had lines. I’ll take it.
2) Dustin, why are you such a wuss in your own dream? Crying while conscious is not enough for you, is it? You have to turn into a puddle of tears while you’re sleeping too?
3) Barry’s strategy for getting Dustin out of the room was awesome. Let’s make out and he’ll leave. Solid plan, my friend.
COMING UP NEXT:
Will Dustin tell Alex about Barry’s outburst or Angel’s couch? Who will Angel share her buffet plate with? Will someone speak now, or will peace forever be held? Find out next week in …
Chapter 43: The Big Day
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Chapter 41: Dustin's Bachelor Party (Part II)
Last week: Dustin was having the best party ever! Until Barry crashed it and revealed that he and Alex had done the nas-tay in Dustin's bed. On noes! So Dustin punched Barry out and drove to ... you guessed it ... Chateau Angel. This week: bleeding and crying. And away we go!
Chapter 41: Dustin's Bachelor Party (Part II)
It was the middle of the night. Angel had been fast asleep, her hair neatly pinned up, her chin neatly tucked under the covers [oh gross. Angel, can’t you even sleep without being irritating?]. She heard a loud rapping at the door [please be DMX].
“Angel!” That was Dustin’s voice. She flicked on the lights and squinted at their brightness.
“Dustin?” She threw back the bolt and opened the door. Stifling a yawn, she asked, “What’s going on?” she led him inside, then re-locked the door. “What happened to your hand?” She unwrapped the towel, now soaked with blood. She held his hand under the cold tap for a few minutes. He still hadn’t responded to any of her questions.
“Dustin, what is it? What happened? Here … sit down.” She led him to the couch. He sat down, but still kept silent.
“Angel, can I stay here tonight?”
Angel was speechless. “I … sure, Dustin. The couch opens up.” She made a quick icepack for his hand and held it against his badly swollen knuckles. “Were you in a fight or something?”
“Not really.”
“What’s going on? Is it Alex? Did you have an argument with her?” [uhm … is Angel accusing him of punching Alex so hard that his hand is swollen and bleeding? If so, why is she not more alarmed?]
“No.”
Angel looked at him in frustration, but couldn’t figure out anything by his expression. “Let me see your hand again.” He did and she re-inspected it.
“Who’d you punch, Dustin?”
“How’d you …”
“When you’ve been treating wrestling injuries as long as I have, you learn to be able to know these things.” [his knuckles are bruised and bleeding and he seems emotionally distressed. what the heck else could have happened? Did he think she would assume that he accidentally shut his hand in a car door and was so emotionally traumatized by the event that he had to rush to her house in the middle of the night to brood?]
“Is it broken?”
“I wont’ know until the swelling goes down a little. Do you want me to take you to get some X-rays?”
“No thanks.”
“Dustin …”
“I guess I owe you an explanation.”
Angel didn’t respond.
“Well … tonight was my bachelor party. It was goin’ great. Then …” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Barry crashed it.”
“Oh, Dustin!” Angel gasped.
“He said that … that Alex … that my … that Alex …” He couldn’t make the words come out.”
“Shh … calm down, calm down. Take it easy.” Angel rubbed his shoulder to try to soothe him.
“Barry said that Alexandra s-s-slept with him last night in my bed.” His chest hitched as he fought back a sob. [don’t fight it, Dustin. It’s been a long time since we’ve had some egregiousness up in here]
“Hey,” Angel’s voice was whisper-soft, calming and reassuring. “Why do you believe that scum anyway?”
Dustin shrugged, unable to speak.
“You trust Alex, don’t you?”
Dustin nodded.
“Well why worry? Barry just made that up to upset you because he’s jealous.”
“You think so?” [wait … that thought never crossed Dustin’s mind?]
“I know so. Doesn’t Alex hate him?”
“Well … yeah.”
“You see?”
“I guess I jumped to conclusions.”
“No you didn’t. You just still trust Barry.”
“I suppose I do, which is pretty stupid, considering everything.”
“Was he out cold?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
“Alex still thinks I’m with the guys and will be partying til dawn.”
“You gonna tell her?”
“Should I?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea right now.” [sure, why start being honest now?]
“Me too. After the honeymoon maybe.”
Angel looked at Dustin’s hand again. “It’s not broken, but be careful with it.”
“I will.”
“You still gonna stay here tonight?”
“Can I?”
“Of course. My couch is your couch.”
“Thanks.”
Angel went to get an extra blanket and pillow for Dustin, then he helped her open up the sofabed. “Angel, I can’t thank you enough.”
“No problem. Really.” She yawned. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get up awfully early tomorrow.”
“Oh, sure.”
“Dustin … you gonna be allright?”
“Yeah. Thanks so much.”
“Goodnight, Dustin.”
“Goodnight, Angel.”
NOTES:
1) Oh, that Angel. Truly, she is the font of all wisdom. I know I mentioned it up there, but seriously, how did Dustin not even consider for a second that Barry was lying? What’s that, you say? Maybe it’s because he subconsciously wants Alex to cheat on him so that he has an easy way out of the marriage so that he can be with his twu wuv Angel? I assure you that 14-year-old me was not thinking that.
2) Where are Angel’s pets?
3) Why does Angel have to get up so early in the morning? Is there an event? If so, why doesn’t Dustin know anything about it?
4) I regret not including a description of Angel’s sleepwear. I think it probably involved pink flannel pajamas and a light blue bathrobe.
COMING UP NEXT …
One of my favorite chapters. I don’t want to give too much away, but it involves a French maid costume, panting, and a box of tissues. Guesses? Nope, not even close. Here’s another hint: it also involves convulsive sobbing. That’s more like it. See you next time for …
CHAPTER 42: Cry in the Night
Chapter 41: Dustin's Bachelor Party (Part II)
It was the middle of the night. Angel had been fast asleep, her hair neatly pinned up, her chin neatly tucked under the covers [oh gross. Angel, can’t you even sleep without being irritating?]. She heard a loud rapping at the door [please be DMX].
“Angel!” That was Dustin’s voice. She flicked on the lights and squinted at their brightness.
“Dustin?” She threw back the bolt and opened the door. Stifling a yawn, she asked, “What’s going on?” she led him inside, then re-locked the door. “What happened to your hand?” She unwrapped the towel, now soaked with blood. She held his hand under the cold tap for a few minutes. He still hadn’t responded to any of her questions.
“Dustin, what is it? What happened? Here … sit down.” She led him to the couch. He sat down, but still kept silent.
“Angel, can I stay here tonight?”
Angel was speechless. “I … sure, Dustin. The couch opens up.” She made a quick icepack for his hand and held it against his badly swollen knuckles. “Were you in a fight or something?”
“Not really.”
“What’s going on? Is it Alex? Did you have an argument with her?” [uhm … is Angel accusing him of punching Alex so hard that his hand is swollen and bleeding? If so, why is she not more alarmed?]
“No.”
Angel looked at him in frustration, but couldn’t figure out anything by his expression. “Let me see your hand again.” He did and she re-inspected it.
“Who’d you punch, Dustin?”
“How’d you …”
“When you’ve been treating wrestling injuries as long as I have, you learn to be able to know these things.” [his knuckles are bruised and bleeding and he seems emotionally distressed. what the heck else could have happened? Did he think she would assume that he accidentally shut his hand in a car door and was so emotionally traumatized by the event that he had to rush to her house in the middle of the night to brood?]
“Is it broken?”
“I wont’ know until the swelling goes down a little. Do you want me to take you to get some X-rays?”
“No thanks.”
“Dustin …”
“I guess I owe you an explanation.”
Angel didn’t respond.
“Well … tonight was my bachelor party. It was goin’ great. Then …” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Barry crashed it.”
“Oh, Dustin!” Angel gasped.
“He said that … that Alex … that my … that Alex …” He couldn’t make the words come out.”
“Shh … calm down, calm down. Take it easy.” Angel rubbed his shoulder to try to soothe him.
“Barry said that Alexandra s-s-slept with him last night in my bed.” His chest hitched as he fought back a sob. [don’t fight it, Dustin. It’s been a long time since we’ve had some egregiousness up in here]
“Hey,” Angel’s voice was whisper-soft, calming and reassuring. “Why do you believe that scum anyway?”
Dustin shrugged, unable to speak.
“You trust Alex, don’t you?”
Dustin nodded.
“Well why worry? Barry just made that up to upset you because he’s jealous.”
“You think so?” [wait … that thought never crossed Dustin’s mind?]
“I know so. Doesn’t Alex hate him?”
“Well … yeah.”
“You see?”
“I guess I jumped to conclusions.”
“No you didn’t. You just still trust Barry.”
“I suppose I do, which is pretty stupid, considering everything.”
“Was he out cold?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
“Alex still thinks I’m with the guys and will be partying til dawn.”
“You gonna tell her?”
“Should I?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea right now.” [sure, why start being honest now?]
“Me too. After the honeymoon maybe.”
Angel looked at Dustin’s hand again. “It’s not broken, but be careful with it.”
“I will.”
“You still gonna stay here tonight?”
“Can I?”
“Of course. My couch is your couch.”
“Thanks.”
Angel went to get an extra blanket and pillow for Dustin, then he helped her open up the sofabed. “Angel, I can’t thank you enough.”
“No problem. Really.” She yawned. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get up awfully early tomorrow.”
“Oh, sure.”
“Dustin … you gonna be allright?”
“Yeah. Thanks so much.”
“Goodnight, Dustin.”
“Goodnight, Angel.”
NOTES:
1) Oh, that Angel. Truly, she is the font of all wisdom. I know I mentioned it up there, but seriously, how did Dustin not even consider for a second that Barry was lying? What’s that, you say? Maybe it’s because he subconsciously wants Alex to cheat on him so that he has an easy way out of the marriage so that he can be with his twu wuv Angel? I assure you that 14-year-old me was not thinking that.
2) Where are Angel’s pets?
3) Why does Angel have to get up so early in the morning? Is there an event? If so, why doesn’t Dustin know anything about it?
4) I regret not including a description of Angel’s sleepwear. I think it probably involved pink flannel pajamas and a light blue bathrobe.
COMING UP NEXT …
One of my favorite chapters. I don’t want to give too much away, but it involves a French maid costume, panting, and a box of tissues. Guesses? Nope, not even close. Here’s another hint: it also involves convulsive sobbing. That’s more like it. See you next time for …
CHAPTER 42: Cry in the Night
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Chapter 41: Dustin's Bachelor Party (Part I)
Welcome, friends. In last week’s thrilling chapter, Violet intercepted mail, Felicia was a Wakefield twin, and we were reminded that Justina Foster exists. This week? FISTICUFFS! Bring it!
Chapter 41: Dustin’s Bachelor Party
Dustin smiled. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been with “all the guys.” Sting, Ricky Steamboat, the Steiners, Ron Simmons, Scorpio, Arn Anderson, and many others were there. The party was in full swing, and Dustin was having the time of his life.
Sting approached him. “Hey, Dustin. How’d things go with Angel?”
“We’re just fine.” [how about you and Alexan … oh, nevermind]
“That’s great.”
Scotty Steiner joined in on this conversation.
“Scotty! How’s it going?” greeted Dustin, giving his friend a pat on the back.
“Great. I feel wonderful not being tied to one woman.” [exactly the thing to say to the groom at a bachelor party]
“You and Marie broke up?”
“Yeah. It’s better this way. It really is.”
“What changed your mind?”
“You mean who changed my mind. It was Angel. She’s great. She convinced me to just let things happen. It’s a fantastic philosophy.” [someone alert Hegel. He’s got competition!]
There was more mixing and mingling, and the general mood of the party was incredibly happy. Everyone was having a terrific time. That is, until an unexpected guest showed up.
The door in Sting’s house banged open and all eyes turned to the disturbance. A tall, lanky figure appeared in the doorway. A glass shattered on the floor. There were a few gasps. [who is it? The Grim Reaper? Elijah the Prophet?] Dustin stepped toward the figure.
“Barry … what the hell are you doing here?” his voice was full of anger and shock.
Barry Windham laughed shortly. “She doesn’t want you, Dustin. She never did. So who’s your best man? I guess it’s not me, eh?” He found this hilarious. He recovered from his giggles quickly. “Oh, my friend, I feel so sorry for you. You think she’s so perfect, don’t you? Wouldn’t you find it interesting to know that yesterday she slept with me in your own bed!”
A deathly silence fell over the group. [what? It’s a room full of testosterone-fueled ‘roidheads. All they’re doing is staring?] Dustin pulled back his fist and punched Barry as hard as he could. [that’s more like it].
“You’re lying! You’re lying!” He shouted, he then proceeded to call Barry every curse he knew. Sting and Rick Steiner each grabbed an arm of Barry and dragged him outside. They threw him into the bed of his pick-up, then returned to the house.
Dustin’s hand was swollen and bleeding. He had a towel wrapped around it. He was silent, but seething.
He stood up.
“Sting, I appreciate you goin’ to all this trouble for me, but … uh … I need to be alone now.” He spoke slowly.
“I understand. You allright?”
Dustin shook his head no.
“You sure you don’t …”
“I’ll be fine. I need to think, talk to Alexandra. Don’t say anythin’ to her, OK?”
Sting nodded. After a chorus of good-byes, Dustin left. He intended to drive all night, then maybe call Alex, but he wasn’t all that surprised when he realized that he had driven to Angel’s house …..
TO BE CONTINUED
NOTES:
1) Of course he drove to Angel’s house. Wouldn’t you?
2) Yay Barry! I’ve missed that cantankerous fellow. Speaking of which, I wish I had given Arn some lines in this chapter.
3) Wait, he drove to Angel’s house? From Sting’s house? Doesn’t Sting live on the beach whereas Angel lives somewhere in Minnesota? How long was he driving? Or did Angel move again?
COMING UP NEXT …
Dustin rings Angel’s doorbell. She answers it. And then … there is … wait for it … wait for it … THAT’S RIGHT, egregious crying! It’s been far, far too long.
Tune in next week for …
Chapter 41: Dustin’s Bachelor Party (Part II)
Chapter 41: Dustin’s Bachelor Party
Dustin smiled. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been with “all the guys.” Sting, Ricky Steamboat, the Steiners, Ron Simmons, Scorpio, Arn Anderson, and many others were there. The party was in full swing, and Dustin was having the time of his life.
Sting approached him. “Hey, Dustin. How’d things go with Angel?”
“We’re just fine.” [how about you and Alexan … oh, nevermind]
“That’s great.”
Scotty Steiner joined in on this conversation.
“Scotty! How’s it going?” greeted Dustin, giving his friend a pat on the back.
“Great. I feel wonderful not being tied to one woman.” [exactly the thing to say to the groom at a bachelor party]
“You and Marie broke up?”
“Yeah. It’s better this way. It really is.”
“What changed your mind?”
“You mean who changed my mind. It was Angel. She’s great. She convinced me to just let things happen. It’s a fantastic philosophy.” [someone alert Hegel. He’s got competition!]
There was more mixing and mingling, and the general mood of the party was incredibly happy. Everyone was having a terrific time. That is, until an unexpected guest showed up.
The door in Sting’s house banged open and all eyes turned to the disturbance. A tall, lanky figure appeared in the doorway. A glass shattered on the floor. There were a few gasps. [who is it? The Grim Reaper? Elijah the Prophet?] Dustin stepped toward the figure.
“Barry … what the hell are you doing here?” his voice was full of anger and shock.
Barry Windham laughed shortly. “She doesn’t want you, Dustin. She never did. So who’s your best man? I guess it’s not me, eh?” He found this hilarious. He recovered from his giggles quickly. “Oh, my friend, I feel so sorry for you. You think she’s so perfect, don’t you? Wouldn’t you find it interesting to know that yesterday she slept with me in your own bed!”
A deathly silence fell over the group. [what? It’s a room full of testosterone-fueled ‘roidheads. All they’re doing is staring?] Dustin pulled back his fist and punched Barry as hard as he could. [that’s more like it].
“You’re lying! You’re lying!” He shouted, he then proceeded to call Barry every curse he knew. Sting and Rick Steiner each grabbed an arm of Barry and dragged him outside. They threw him into the bed of his pick-up, then returned to the house.
Dustin’s hand was swollen and bleeding. He had a towel wrapped around it. He was silent, but seething.
He stood up.
“Sting, I appreciate you goin’ to all this trouble for me, but … uh … I need to be alone now.” He spoke slowly.
“I understand. You allright?”
Dustin shook his head no.
“You sure you don’t …”
“I’ll be fine. I need to think, talk to Alexandra. Don’t say anythin’ to her, OK?”
Sting nodded. After a chorus of good-byes, Dustin left. He intended to drive all night, then maybe call Alex, but he wasn’t all that surprised when he realized that he had driven to Angel’s house …..
TO BE CONTINUED
NOTES:
1) Of course he drove to Angel’s house. Wouldn’t you?
2) Yay Barry! I’ve missed that cantankerous fellow. Speaking of which, I wish I had given Arn some lines in this chapter.
3) Wait, he drove to Angel’s house? From Sting’s house? Doesn’t Sting live on the beach whereas Angel lives somewhere in Minnesota? How long was he driving? Or did Angel move again?
COMING UP NEXT …
Dustin rings Angel’s doorbell. She answers it. And then … there is … wait for it … wait for it … THAT’S RIGHT, egregious crying! It’s been far, far too long.
Tune in next week for …
Chapter 41: Dustin’s Bachelor Party (Part II)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Chapter 39: Dustin and Angel
Sorry again for the delay in getting this chapter out. Now where were we? Ah yes. Just as Angel was about to admit her dirty little secret about lip-smacking with Dustin, Chris announced that he had to jet off to a plot contrivance … er … set of shows in Japan with Bret Hart. Angel reacted to this news by wondering who would be her date to Dustin’s wedding. So no confrontation between Chris and Angel, but how’s about we see what happens when Asstin meet again?
Chapter 39 – Dustin and Angel
It had been three days since Chris had left for Japan. Angel was glad that she had decided not to tell him about Dustin, lest she ruin his trip.
She hadn’t spoken to Dustin since their kiss, and she felt things still needed straightening out. So the next day, she knocked on the “face” dressing room.
“It’s open,” called Sting. [duh? Is the dressing room door ever locked? And has anyone ever knocked on it before?]
Angel entered the room. There were only a couple of guys in the room. Sting, Dustin, Ricky Steamboat, and … Arn Anderson. [WOOO!!]
Sting smiled and greeted Angel, as did Ricky. Before Angel could say hello back, Arn shouted “Well now, whose life have you come to ruin today, you cheap blonde bimbo?”
“Hey, Arn, you’re way out of line,” Dustin said sharply. [let the man speak, Dustin.]
“I’d get better friends if I were you. She’s nothing but a homewrecker,” and with that, he left.
“Where did all of that come from?” asked Ricky.
“He doesn’t like me.” [he can take a number]
“Evidently,” smiled Sting, then he excused himself, followed by Ricky.
“They cleared out fast,” Angel remarked to Dustin.
“They know,” his voice was quiet. “Have a seat.”
She sat next to him. “I told Bobby.”
“Sting thinks that we have something more than friendship.”
“So does Bobby.”
There was a long time of silence, until Angel broke it with a question. “What do you think?”
“I don’t want to agree.”
“But you do?”
“I do.”
“So do I.”
There was another period of silence.
“Dustin, we can push them to the farthest corner of our mind if we try.” [that sounds like a flawless plan, no?]
“I’m going to try it.”
“Me too.”
Another time of quiet.
“We’ll still be friends, won’t we?”
“Of course,” he said.
“It’ll be awkward.”
“We can get over it. We’ve been through too much to throw it away with one little kiss. Angel, I never would have gotten through this year without you.”
There was a rap on the door and Sting’s voice called out “3 minutes, Dustin!”
Angel stood up. “I’m glad everything is allright between us.” [yes. Of course that conversation has fixed everything.]
“Me too. This is my last day wrestling ‘till after my honeymoon.”
“That’s right.” She hugged him. “I’ll seeya at the wedding.” [don’t you think you guys should can it with the hugging?]
NOTES:
1) This had a lot of stupid stuff in it, but this line is the most ridiculous: "We’ve been through too much to throw it away with one little kiss.” – He is talking about him and Angel, not him and his fiancé. WTF?
2) You like how I conveyed awkward silence by writing stuff like “another time of quiet”? Slick!
3) I so wish I had let Arn stay around longer in this chapter. Don’t worry, friends. He’ll be back.
COMING UP NEXT …
We return to the unfurling of Violet’s Evil Plan and meet a brand new, mostly irrelevant character in …
Chapter 40: A New Nurse
Chapter 39 – Dustin and Angel
It had been three days since Chris had left for Japan. Angel was glad that she had decided not to tell him about Dustin, lest she ruin his trip.
She hadn’t spoken to Dustin since their kiss, and she felt things still needed straightening out. So the next day, she knocked on the “face” dressing room.
“It’s open,” called Sting. [duh? Is the dressing room door ever locked? And has anyone ever knocked on it before?]
Angel entered the room. There were only a couple of guys in the room. Sting, Dustin, Ricky Steamboat, and … Arn Anderson. [WOOO!!]
Sting smiled and greeted Angel, as did Ricky. Before Angel could say hello back, Arn shouted “Well now, whose life have you come to ruin today, you cheap blonde bimbo?”
“Hey, Arn, you’re way out of line,” Dustin said sharply. [let the man speak, Dustin.]
“I’d get better friends if I were you. She’s nothing but a homewrecker,” and with that, he left.
“Where did all of that come from?” asked Ricky.
“He doesn’t like me.” [he can take a number]
“Evidently,” smiled Sting, then he excused himself, followed by Ricky.
“They cleared out fast,” Angel remarked to Dustin.
“They know,” his voice was quiet. “Have a seat.”
She sat next to him. “I told Bobby.”
“Sting thinks that we have something more than friendship.”
“So does Bobby.”
There was a long time of silence, until Angel broke it with a question. “What do you think?”
“I don’t want to agree.”
“But you do?”
“I do.”
“So do I.”
There was another period of silence.
“Dustin, we can push them to the farthest corner of our mind if we try.” [that sounds like a flawless plan, no?]
“I’m going to try it.”
“Me too.”
Another time of quiet.
“We’ll still be friends, won’t we?”
“Of course,” he said.
“It’ll be awkward.”
“We can get over it. We’ve been through too much to throw it away with one little kiss. Angel, I never would have gotten through this year without you.”
There was a rap on the door and Sting’s voice called out “3 minutes, Dustin!”
Angel stood up. “I’m glad everything is allright between us.” [yes. Of course that conversation has fixed everything.]
“Me too. This is my last day wrestling ‘till after my honeymoon.”
“That’s right.” She hugged him. “I’ll seeya at the wedding.” [don’t you think you guys should can it with the hugging?]
NOTES:
1) This had a lot of stupid stuff in it, but this line is the most ridiculous: "We’ve been through too much to throw it away with one little kiss.” – He is talking about him and Angel, not him and his fiancé. WTF?
2) You like how I conveyed awkward silence by writing stuff like “another time of quiet”? Slick!
3) I so wish I had let Arn stay around longer in this chapter. Don’t worry, friends. He’ll be back.
COMING UP NEXT …
We return to the unfurling of Violet’s Evil Plan and meet a brand new, mostly irrelevant character in …
Chapter 40: A New Nurse
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Chapter 35: Topeka
Alllllright, ladies and gents. Trouble’s a-brewin’ here, and her name is Violet. And Asstin fans? Stuff is GOING DOWN. I hope no one is scandalized by the salaciousness of …
Chapter 35: Topeka
Chris Benoit opened his dressing room door and started to lace up his boots. He noticed movement in the corner shadows. He flicked on the lights. [he was lacing his boots up in the dark?]
“What the heck are you doing in here?” Chris exclaimed.
Violet stood. “Oh, Chris, I’m sorry! Did I frighten you?”
“No, but what are you doing in here?”
“Stunning Steve told me he’d meet me in here.”
“Austin? What’re you hangin’ around with a creep like that for?”
“I don’t’ know.” Her voice broke and tears spilled over her cheeks. “It’s just … I’ve been so lonely here, and he was so nice to me, and … and …”
Chris sighed. Here we go again. He sat next to Violet and awkwardly touched her shoulder. “C’mon, don’t’ cry, Violet. It’s not so bad. Some girls go good with creeps.”
This made her cry harder.
“Oh, geez. I didn’t mean that. I mean … Oh please don’t cry, Violet.”
She sniffled. Chris glanced down at his watch.
“Violet?”
“Yeah?”
“I hate to do this to you, but I have a match in 3 minutes and the only wrestling gear I have on is half a boot.” [why would you put your boots on before your tights?]
“I’m sorry.”
“Oh, no. No. Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault I’m slow.”
She apologized again anyway, then left.
---------
Dustin Rhodes stooped to enter Angel’s office.
“This doorway is too low.”
“You’re just too tall.”
“Hey Angel.”
“Hey, Dustin.”
“How you doin?”
“I’m OK. You?
“Just peachy.”
“What’s up?” she asked.
“Would you check this out for me?” He gestured towards a spot on his head. Angel pushed his hair away from the spot and saw a huge lump forming [I swear I didn’t mean for any of this to have any sort of erotic subtext. But wow. Or, rather, bow chicka wow wow.]
“Ooh, how’d you do that?”
“I banged my head on one of these stupid doorways.”
Angel reached for an ice pack. She pressed it against Dustin’s head.
He smiled.
“What?”
“You have the same color eyes as me.”
“Hey … you’re right.”
She leaned a little closer to adjust the pack, and it happened. No one planned it, it just happened.
Their lips met. The ice pack fell to the floor with a thud. He put his hand on the small of her back. Suddenly, both of them pulled back as if stung. They both began speaking rapidly at once.
“Oh, Dustin, listen, I …”
“Angelica, this wasn’t …”
“Neither of us meant for this to happen, right?”
“Right.” Dustin said.
“Ohh … I can’t believe what just happened.” Angel wailed.
“Me neither.”
“It was just a mistake, right Dustin? People make mistakes all the time.”
Dustin put his head in his hands [shout out, Anonymoleg!].
“Angel, I’m going to get married in a week and a half! I can’t be … oh, God.” He rose and paced, running his fingers through his hair rapidly. He stopped in the middle of the room and seized the sleeve of Angel’s uniform. “Angel, I love you as a friend and nothing more. What just happened was …”
“Meaningless.” Angel finished.
“Yes.”
“I agree. That’s exactly the way I feel.” She exhaled deeply.
“Ok?”
“Ok.”
“Should we tell …”
Dustin’s question was interrupted by a loud rapping on the door frame.
“Come in.” [come in to what? The door wasn’t closed.]
“Hey, Sunshine.” Chris greeted. “Uhh … bad time?”
“Oh, no. no.” Dustin said. “I was just leaving. See you later.”
“O---K. Something up, Angel-face?”
She avoided his eyes. “No, Chris. Listen, can we talk later, though?”
“Well, Sure. You allright?”
“Yeah. Yeah.”
“If you say so. Busy night?”
“Yeah.” (in more ways than one) [woah! Was that prescient snark?]
“Ok. See you later.”
--------------
NOTES:
1) Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SNAP!!! Violet, you were wasting your efforts. Angel the Virtuous can tank a relationship all on her own.
2) In my experience, denying any feelings that you have for someone after you have “accidentally” kissed ALWAYS works. That’s why all of the relationships I had in college were so healthy.
Hoo boy. Well, I'll bet you'd like a break from all of that intense drama. Ask and ye shall receive, because coming up next is ...
Chapter 36: Bobby and Linda.
Chapter 35: Topeka
Chris Benoit opened his dressing room door and started to lace up his boots. He noticed movement in the corner shadows. He flicked on the lights. [he was lacing his boots up in the dark?]
“What the heck are you doing in here?” Chris exclaimed.
Violet stood. “Oh, Chris, I’m sorry! Did I frighten you?”
“No, but what are you doing in here?”
“Stunning Steve told me he’d meet me in here.”
“Austin? What’re you hangin’ around with a creep like that for?”
“I don’t’ know.” Her voice broke and tears spilled over her cheeks. “It’s just … I’ve been so lonely here, and he was so nice to me, and … and …”
Chris sighed. Here we go again. He sat next to Violet and awkwardly touched her shoulder. “C’mon, don’t’ cry, Violet. It’s not so bad. Some girls go good with creeps.”
This made her cry harder.
“Oh, geez. I didn’t mean that. I mean … Oh please don’t cry, Violet.”
She sniffled. Chris glanced down at his watch.
“Violet?”
“Yeah?”
“I hate to do this to you, but I have a match in 3 minutes and the only wrestling gear I have on is half a boot.” [why would you put your boots on before your tights?]
“I’m sorry.”
“Oh, no. No. Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault I’m slow.”
She apologized again anyway, then left.
---------
Dustin Rhodes stooped to enter Angel’s office.
“This doorway is too low.”
“You’re just too tall.”
“Hey Angel.”
“Hey, Dustin.”
“How you doin?”
“I’m OK. You?
“Just peachy.”
“What’s up?” she asked.
“Would you check this out for me?” He gestured towards a spot on his head. Angel pushed his hair away from the spot and saw a huge lump forming [I swear I didn’t mean for any of this to have any sort of erotic subtext. But wow. Or, rather, bow chicka wow wow.]
“Ooh, how’d you do that?”
“I banged my head on one of these stupid doorways.”
Angel reached for an ice pack. She pressed it against Dustin’s head.
He smiled.
“What?”
“You have the same color eyes as me.”
“Hey … you’re right.”
She leaned a little closer to adjust the pack, and it happened. No one planned it, it just happened.
Their lips met. The ice pack fell to the floor with a thud. He put his hand on the small of her back. Suddenly, both of them pulled back as if stung. They both began speaking rapidly at once.
“Oh, Dustin, listen, I …”
“Angelica, this wasn’t …”
“Neither of us meant for this to happen, right?”
“Right.” Dustin said.
“Ohh … I can’t believe what just happened.” Angel wailed.
“Me neither.”
“It was just a mistake, right Dustin? People make mistakes all the time.”
Dustin put his head in his hands [shout out, Anonymoleg!].
“Angel, I’m going to get married in a week and a half! I can’t be … oh, God.” He rose and paced, running his fingers through his hair rapidly. He stopped in the middle of the room and seized the sleeve of Angel’s uniform. “Angel, I love you as a friend and nothing more. What just happened was …”
“Meaningless.” Angel finished.
“Yes.”
“I agree. That’s exactly the way I feel.” She exhaled deeply.
“Ok?”
“Ok.”
“Should we tell …”
Dustin’s question was interrupted by a loud rapping on the door frame.
“Come in.” [come in to what? The door wasn’t closed.]
“Hey, Sunshine.” Chris greeted. “Uhh … bad time?”
“Oh, no. no.” Dustin said. “I was just leaving. See you later.”
“O---K. Something up, Angel-face?”
She avoided his eyes. “No, Chris. Listen, can we talk later, though?”
“Well, Sure. You allright?”
“Yeah. Yeah.”
“If you say so. Busy night?”
“Yeah.” (in more ways than one) [woah! Was that prescient snark?]
“Ok. See you later.”
--------------
NOTES:
1) Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SNAP!!! Violet, you were wasting your efforts. Angel the Virtuous can tank a relationship all on her own.
2) In my experience, denying any feelings that you have for someone after you have “accidentally” kissed ALWAYS works. That’s why all of the relationships I had in college were so healthy.
Hoo boy. Well, I'll bet you'd like a break from all of that intense drama. Ask and ye shall receive, because coming up next is ...
Chapter 36: Bobby and Linda.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Chapter 30: Something's on His Mind
Welcome back, friends. Today we get a blissfully short interaction between Chris and Bobby that once again includes a reference to showering and a deepening of the relationship between Dustin and Angel that includes injured toes. I humbly submit to you:
Chapter 30: Something’s on His Mind
“Hey Bob,” Chris greeted, toweling off his hair.
“Hi,” Bobby murmured, lacing his boots.
“You looked great against Johnny B. Badd,” said Chris.
“Thanks,” muttered Bobby without looking up.
“Something up, Bob?”
“Naw. I gotta go.”
“Bye.”
Chris shrugged and finished drying off his hair. Sometimes Bobby was a bit secretive, and that was okay.
---
“Ouch!” Angel cried, rubbing her toe.
“Sorry,” Dustin apologized. “I really do appreciate this, Angel.”
“No problem.”
Angel was teaching Dustin to dance in preparation for his wedding, a mere two and a half weeks away. [Isn’t this something he should be doing with his freaking fiancé?]
“Let’s take a break, huh?”
“Sure.”
Both plopped down on the couch. Angel removed her shoes and examined her toes.
“Did I hurt you?”
“Nothing reconstructive service can’t fix,” [sic] she chuckled.
There was a moment of silence as Dustin stared into space and Angel put her shoe back on.
“What’re you thinking about, Dustin?”
“You and Alex. You’re both so similar, but so different.” [how does that even make sense? Also, shut up, Dustin. Go hang out with your wife.]
“How so?”
“Your personalities are kinda the same, but I feel so different about you two. I mean, I love you both, I would do anything for either of you, but it’s still different.”
“I understand what you’re saying.”
“I can’t imagine ever being able to cry on Alex’s shoulder like I did with you.”
“You can’t?”
Dustin shook his head. [uhm … that’s weird, buckaroo.]
“Hey Angel?”
“Yeah?”
“What was bugging you that day a while back?”
“Oh. I had just gotten into a fight with Chris. Why do you ask?”
“Just wondering.”
“You nervous about your wedding?”
“Hell yeah.”
“Where’s the honeymoon?”
“Tahiti.”
“Sounds nice.”
“Yeah.”
“Dustin, this will be a personal question, and I understand if you don’t want to answer it, but, will your honeymoon be the first time you and Alexandra ever had sex?”
“No. Why?”
“Just wondering.”
“Have you and Chris ever had sex.”
“No. I’m … a virgin.”
“Serious?”
“Yeah. You seem surprised.”
“I am.”
Angel’s clock struck six.
“I’d better go.” Dustin announced, rising from the couch. “Match starts soon.” [now the matches are at night?]
“Okay,” said Angel, following him to the door.
“Thanks again.”
“Anytime.”
Dustin kissed Angel on the cheek and stepped into the cold Minnesota night. His stomach began to launch into a series of somersaults as he thought of how close his wedding was. He shivered and zipped his coat up to his chin.
NOTES:
1) The title of this chapter is an oblique reference to a ridiculously obscure 4 Seasons song. How obscure? It’s a track from their Genuine Imitation Life Gazette album, which I think maybe six people worldwide have heard of besides me. I still have the tape. It’s also supposed to be a reference to Bobby’s internal struggle, which I forgot to elaborate on in this chapter.
2) Johnny B. Badd! Like Little Richard, only somehow more flamboyant. Look at this outfit!
3) Dustin and Angel (Dungel?). Where do I begin. Ok, I’ll start with the obvious. This combination of private dancing, cheek-kissing, and intense emotional closeness between two adult “just friends” who are married and/or exclusively dating other people is really inappropriate. That being said: one of my very best friends is a guy. We are such good friends that he came to my wedding dressed as a Viking. I love this dude and would do anything for him, much as the way Dustin loves Angel. Unlike Dungel, however, the scenario in this chapter would never, ever happen between me and The Viking. The closest we’ve ever come to kissing is me kicking him in the face (this happened a lot in college. Amy, you understand. Also, I think I kicked your husband in the face a lot too. Sorry if that was crossing some sort of boundary). Anyhoo, where was I? Oh yes. So The Viking and I have been BFF for about 10 years. I think he’s seen my cry once. And it was really weird. Slice has seen me cry plenty of times. And it’s never weird. And if I thought for a second that he’d feel weird crying around me, but not around some ladyfriend of his, I’d haul us in to the marriage counselor, because something ain’t right with that.
Aside from that, this here Dungel interaction is kind of interesting in terms of subtext. It’s rather obvious that Dustin and Angel are totally into each other. Aside from the aforementioned dancing and cheeking, she’s asking him about sex and he’s confessing a level of emotional insecurity between him and Alex. And after the dance lesson, we see Dustin more nervous than ever about his impending wedding (to the point where he’s shivering), perhaps because it’s to the wrong woman.
If I thought for a second that I did any of this intentionally, I’d be kind of impressed with 13-year-old me. Alas. I’m pretty sure that in my mind, Dustin’s nerves were the stereotypical “wedding jitters” I assumed everyone went through, the shivering was because it was cold, the sex-talk was to reestablish Angel’s Virtue, and the weird Dungel closeness was something any man could achieve with Angel, because she was just the most wonderful, compassionate, loving woman EVER.
Gak.
Well then … I think I’ve done enough rambling for now. Let’s see what’s on tap for next week:
Ooh … you’re not going to want to miss this one. We get to meet a new (?) character and watch Bobby brood. Plus you get the punchline of one of my favorite jokes. Whee! Join us next time for …
Chapter 31: Revenge Begins
Chapter 30: Something’s on His Mind
“Hey Bob,” Chris greeted, toweling off his hair.
“Hi,” Bobby murmured, lacing his boots.
“You looked great against Johnny B. Badd,” said Chris.
“Thanks,” muttered Bobby without looking up.
“Something up, Bob?”
“Naw. I gotta go.”
“Bye.”
Chris shrugged and finished drying off his hair. Sometimes Bobby was a bit secretive, and that was okay.
---
“Ouch!” Angel cried, rubbing her toe.
“Sorry,” Dustin apologized. “I really do appreciate this, Angel.”
“No problem.”
Angel was teaching Dustin to dance in preparation for his wedding, a mere two and a half weeks away. [Isn’t this something he should be doing with his freaking fiancé?]
“Let’s take a break, huh?”
“Sure.”
Both plopped down on the couch. Angel removed her shoes and examined her toes.
“Did I hurt you?”
“Nothing reconstructive service can’t fix,” [sic] she chuckled.
There was a moment of silence as Dustin stared into space and Angel put her shoe back on.
“What’re you thinking about, Dustin?”
“You and Alex. You’re both so similar, but so different.” [how does that even make sense? Also, shut up, Dustin. Go hang out with your wife.]
“How so?”
“Your personalities are kinda the same, but I feel so different about you two. I mean, I love you both, I would do anything for either of you, but it’s still different.”
“I understand what you’re saying.”
“I can’t imagine ever being able to cry on Alex’s shoulder like I did with you.”
“You can’t?”
Dustin shook his head. [uhm … that’s weird, buckaroo.]
“Hey Angel?”
“Yeah?”
“What was bugging you that day a while back?”
“Oh. I had just gotten into a fight with Chris. Why do you ask?”
“Just wondering.”
“You nervous about your wedding?”
“Hell yeah.”
“Where’s the honeymoon?”
“Tahiti.”
“Sounds nice.”
“Yeah.”
“Dustin, this will be a personal question, and I understand if you don’t want to answer it, but, will your honeymoon be the first time you and Alexandra ever had sex?”
“No. Why?”
“Just wondering.”
“Have you and Chris ever had sex.”
“No. I’m … a virgin.”
“Serious?”
“Yeah. You seem surprised.”
“I am.”
Angel’s clock struck six.
“I’d better go.” Dustin announced, rising from the couch. “Match starts soon.” [now the matches are at night?]
“Okay,” said Angel, following him to the door.
“Thanks again.”
“Anytime.”
Dustin kissed Angel on the cheek and stepped into the cold Minnesota night. His stomach began to launch into a series of somersaults as he thought of how close his wedding was. He shivered and zipped his coat up to his chin.
NOTES:
1) The title of this chapter is an oblique reference to a ridiculously obscure 4 Seasons song. How obscure? It’s a track from their Genuine Imitation Life Gazette album, which I think maybe six people worldwide have heard of besides me. I still have the tape. It’s also supposed to be a reference to Bobby’s internal struggle, which I forgot to elaborate on in this chapter.
2) Johnny B. Badd! Like Little Richard, only somehow more flamboyant. Look at this outfit!
3) Dustin and Angel (Dungel?). Where do I begin. Ok, I’ll start with the obvious. This combination of private dancing, cheek-kissing, and intense emotional closeness between two adult “just friends” who are married and/or exclusively dating other people is really inappropriate. That being said: one of my very best friends is a guy. We are such good friends that he came to my wedding dressed as a Viking. I love this dude and would do anything for him, much as the way Dustin loves Angel. Unlike Dungel, however, the scenario in this chapter would never, ever happen between me and The Viking. The closest we’ve ever come to kissing is me kicking him in the face (this happened a lot in college. Amy, you understand. Also, I think I kicked your husband in the face a lot too. Sorry if that was crossing some sort of boundary). Anyhoo, where was I? Oh yes. So The Viking and I have been BFF for about 10 years. I think he’s seen my cry once. And it was really weird. Slice has seen me cry plenty of times. And it’s never weird. And if I thought for a second that he’d feel weird crying around me, but not around some ladyfriend of his, I’d haul us in to the marriage counselor, because something ain’t right with that.
Aside from that, this here Dungel interaction is kind of interesting in terms of subtext. It’s rather obvious that Dustin and Angel are totally into each other. Aside from the aforementioned dancing and cheeking, she’s asking him about sex and he’s confessing a level of emotional insecurity between him and Alex. And after the dance lesson, we see Dustin more nervous than ever about his impending wedding (to the point where he’s shivering), perhaps because it’s to the wrong woman.
If I thought for a second that I did any of this intentionally, I’d be kind of impressed with 13-year-old me. Alas. I’m pretty sure that in my mind, Dustin’s nerves were the stereotypical “wedding jitters” I assumed everyone went through, the shivering was because it was cold, the sex-talk was to reestablish Angel’s Virtue, and the weird Dungel closeness was something any man could achieve with Angel, because she was just the most wonderful, compassionate, loving woman EVER.
Gak.
Well then … I think I’ve done enough rambling for now. Let’s see what’s on tap for next week:
Ooh … you’re not going to want to miss this one. We get to meet a new (?) character and watch Bobby brood. Plus you get the punchline of one of my favorite jokes. Whee! Join us next time for …
Chapter 31: Revenge Begins
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Chapter 29: Mail
Ok. Sorry again that this one is late. In this thrilling chapter, we get to read some of Angel's mail and endure a painfully "humor"-laden conversation that she has with Rick. Hooo boy!
Chapter 29: Mail
Angel had been away from home for two weeks. Mrs. Camaletti had been getting all of her mail for her. [well that’s a thrilling way to start a chapter]. On Mrs. Camaletti’s hall table, there were 4 letters declaring that Angelica Kerris could win 10 million dollars, 5 bills, a letter from the American Red Cross, a small envelope with a gold foil stamping, and another letter. [are y’all taking notes?]
Curious, she opened the small one first. The letter was an engraved invitation to … Dustin’s wedding! Finally! Oh, this was exciting. What would she wear? While her mind happily raced, the postmark on the other letter caught her eye. Silver Lake, Michigan.
“What’s that little vixen want now?” she said aloud. [seriously? She said that out loud?]
Angel read Marie’s letter.
Angel –
You make me sick. You weren’t content to just steal Mr. P. from me, you’re after Scotty too. Well forget about that. I’ll stop you—no matter what it takes.
~ Marie
Angel shook her head sadly and said out loud: “That woman is insane.”
The phone rang and Angel screamed. “I’ve got to learn to control myself,” she reprimanded herself.
“Camaletti residence.”
“Yes, this is the electric company. Is your refrigerator running?” [LOL. Not.]
“Old joke, Rick,” she laughed.
“Got me, Angie.” Rick Steiner said.
Angel had left Mrs. Camaletti’s phone number on her answering machine. She was glad Rick had called. Marie’s letter had upset her, and Ricks’ cheerful personality was just what she needed.
“How’s it going?” he asked.
“Okay. And you?”
“Bout the same.” [zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz]
“Good to hear. How’s Scott?”
“Not good. That’s mainly why I’m calling.” [so you can interfere in his life again because it’s not as if he’s an adult or anything and after all, you’ve known him for a whole, like, couple months]
“Oh? What’s the matter?”
“It’s Marie.”
“I figured as much. Did they break up?”
“No. But things aren’t good. I was wondering if you’d talk to Scotty Boy about this.”
“Me? Rick, I think I’d be the last one he’d want to talk to. This is practically all my fault.”
“Curt said you’d take the blame for this,” Rick said, more to himself than Angel. [you mean that she’d make it all about herself?]
“Mr. P? You’ve spoken to him?”
“Yeah. We’re good friends.”
“Scott too?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Hasn’t Mr. P. spoken to Scott about Marie?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“And Scott still wants to talk to me about this?”
“Yeah, why?”
“It’s just confusing, that’s all.”
“Yeah, why?” [oh just stick a spork in my pancreas]
“Rick!” Angel cried, feigning annoying playfully.
“Sorry. I couldn’t help it.”
“So will you talk to my brother?”
“Of course.”
“Good. We’ll be in Minnesota Friday. Is that OK?”
“No. Sorry. Chris and I are throwing Bobby a going-away-again-party.”
“Chris?”
“Chris Benoit. He’s my boyfriend.” [my characters are the worst communicators ever.]
“Oh. How ‘bout Saturday?”
“Fine with me.”
“We’re at the Capri Hotel. Know where it is?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. See you then.”
“Rick?”
“Yeah, Angie?”
“Give Mr. P. my phone number, will you?”
“Sure.”
“Thanks. Bye, Rick.”
“Seeya Angie.”
NOTES
1) So Angel’s Best Friend Ever, Mr. P., doesn’t even have her phone number??? No wonder it’s such a tragedy when people move. Out of sight, out of contact. Except for Rick Steiner, who calls Angel all the time so that she can talk some AngelSense into Young Scott’s life. What a good friend. Who apparently doesn’t even know that Angel has been dating Chris for several chapters now.
2) Could there have been less action in this chapter?
3) What is Marie’s deal, you ask? Why is she sending stupid letters to Angel? Remember, sending letters is her m.o. Too bad this one didn’t have anthrax inside it. I’ve heard that Angel was allergic to that. Anyhoo, don’t worry. We haven’t heard the last from Angel’s arch nemesis.
COMING UP NEXT:
Bobby seems upset but won't tell anyone why and Angel and Dustin talk about sex. Hawt. Join us next time for ...
Chapter 30: Something's On His Mind
Chapter 29: Mail
Angel had been away from home for two weeks. Mrs. Camaletti had been getting all of her mail for her. [well that’s a thrilling way to start a chapter]. On Mrs. Camaletti’s hall table, there were 4 letters declaring that Angelica Kerris could win 10 million dollars, 5 bills, a letter from the American Red Cross, a small envelope with a gold foil stamping, and another letter. [are y’all taking notes?]
Curious, she opened the small one first. The letter was an engraved invitation to … Dustin’s wedding! Finally! Oh, this was exciting. What would she wear? While her mind happily raced, the postmark on the other letter caught her eye. Silver Lake, Michigan.
“What’s that little vixen want now?” she said aloud. [seriously? She said that out loud?]
Angel read Marie’s letter.
Angel –
You make me sick. You weren’t content to just steal Mr. P. from me, you’re after Scotty too. Well forget about that. I’ll stop you—no matter what it takes.
~ Marie
Angel shook her head sadly and said out loud: “That woman is insane.”
The phone rang and Angel screamed. “I’ve got to learn to control myself,” she reprimanded herself.
“Camaletti residence.”
“Yes, this is the electric company. Is your refrigerator running?” [LOL. Not.]
“Old joke, Rick,” she laughed.
“Got me, Angie.” Rick Steiner said.
Angel had left Mrs. Camaletti’s phone number on her answering machine. She was glad Rick had called. Marie’s letter had upset her, and Ricks’ cheerful personality was just what she needed.
“How’s it going?” he asked.
“Okay. And you?”
“Bout the same.” [zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz]
“Good to hear. How’s Scott?”
“Not good. That’s mainly why I’m calling.” [so you can interfere in his life again because it’s not as if he’s an adult or anything and after all, you’ve known him for a whole, like, couple months]
“Oh? What’s the matter?”
“It’s Marie.”
“I figured as much. Did they break up?”
“No. But things aren’t good. I was wondering if you’d talk to Scotty Boy about this.”
“Me? Rick, I think I’d be the last one he’d want to talk to. This is practically all my fault.”
“Curt said you’d take the blame for this,” Rick said, more to himself than Angel. [you mean that she’d make it all about herself?]
“Mr. P? You’ve spoken to him?”
“Yeah. We’re good friends.”
“Scott too?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Hasn’t Mr. P. spoken to Scott about Marie?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“And Scott still wants to talk to me about this?”
“Yeah, why?”
“It’s just confusing, that’s all.”
“Yeah, why?” [oh just stick a spork in my pancreas]
“Rick!” Angel cried, feigning annoying playfully.
“Sorry. I couldn’t help it.”
“So will you talk to my brother?”
“Of course.”
“Good. We’ll be in Minnesota Friday. Is that OK?”
“No. Sorry. Chris and I are throwing Bobby a going-away-again-party.”
“Chris?”
“Chris Benoit. He’s my boyfriend.” [my characters are the worst communicators ever.]
“Oh. How ‘bout Saturday?”
“Fine with me.”
“We’re at the Capri Hotel. Know where it is?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. See you then.”
“Rick?”
“Yeah, Angie?”
“Give Mr. P. my phone number, will you?”
“Sure.”
“Thanks. Bye, Rick.”
“Seeya Angie.”
NOTES
1) So Angel’s Best Friend Ever, Mr. P., doesn’t even have her phone number??? No wonder it’s such a tragedy when people move. Out of sight, out of contact. Except for Rick Steiner, who calls Angel all the time so that she can talk some AngelSense into Young Scott’s life. What a good friend. Who apparently doesn’t even know that Angel has been dating Chris for several chapters now.
2) Could there have been less action in this chapter?
3) What is Marie’s deal, you ask? Why is she sending stupid letters to Angel? Remember, sending letters is her m.o. Too bad this one didn’t have anthrax inside it. I’ve heard that Angel was allergic to that. Anyhoo, don’t worry. We haven’t heard the last from Angel’s arch nemesis.
COMING UP NEXT:
Bobby seems upset but won't tell anyone why and Angel and Dustin talk about sex. Hawt. Join us next time for ...
Chapter 30: Something's On His Mind
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Chapter 28: Who Can You Trust?
Welcome to your weekly installment of wrestling fanfiction that I wrote in middle school. Today: Angel tries to sort out her feelings about Chris’s proposal by having three stupid interactions with three stupid people. My dialogue tags get a wee bit out of control in …
Chapter 28: Who Can You Trust?
“Hold still,” Angel chided while she bandaged Dustin’s left bicep.
“Ouch!” He cried as she bumped the wound. “Watch it, will you?”
“Sorry,” she muttered, clasping the bandage. “You’re done. Come back tomorrow if the pain starts up again.” Angel said in a lifeless voice.
“Thanks,” said Dustin, hopping off the examination table. “Hey, Angel, what’s with you today? You angry with me?”
“No Dustin, I’m sorry. I’ve just had a bad day. I shouldn’t take it out on you.” She sighed.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“No, thanks.” [gasp! Did she just refuse the chance to cry and overemote?]
“Allright then. Cheer up, huh?” he kissed her on the forehead and left.
Angel sunk down into the leather couch [wait. Now her office has a leather couch?!?] and pulled her hair from her ponytail, letting it flow over her shoulders. She glanced at the clock. 3:57. Her day was over. What a horrible day it had been. First her argument with Chris, then she nearly attacked Dustin for no reason [uhm, or you just kind of weren’t particularly gentle with his wounded bicep. It’s not like you took a scalpel to his face. Maybe next time try that.] and … now what, she thought as she got up to answer the knock at the door.
“Hey, Angelica.”
“Hi, Bobby,” she murmured.
“Chris told me what happened.”
Angel did not reply. She just looked at the floor.
“He wants to apologize.”
Angel’s face lit up in confusion.
“Why? He didn’t do anything wrong.”
“He thinks so.”
“Where is he? I need to talk to him.”
“Sulking in the locker room.” [oh GLORY.]
“Thank you, Bobby,” she said, hugging him warmly.
--------
Angel knocked softly on the locker room door. There was a light on in the far corner of the huge room. Chris was laying on a bench, hands behind his head, knees in the air. He looked as if he’d been crying […of course].
“Chris?”
He sat up when he heard her voice. “Hi, Angel,” he said in a shaky voice.
“Mind if I sit down?”
Chris shook his head. Angel sat close to him.
“Bobby talk to you?”
Angel nodded.
“Angel, I’m sorry. I truly am. I had no right to say what I did to you. Just the thought of losing you makes me …” his voice cracked and he broke off and turned his head away from her.
She handed him a tissue [HUZZAH!].
“Thanks.”
“Chris,” she began in a voice barely above a whisper. “Chris, don’t blame yourself.” She touched his shoulder lightly. “You had every right to say that to me, because I can’t deny it. I can’t. There’s still a little part of me that doesn’t trust anybody, not even you. I’ve just got to learn not to let that little part of me ruin my life. So please Chris, don’t ever blame yourself for that. With people like you and Bobby [wtf is he doing here?] in my life, maybe I’ll be able to defeat that little part of me, and then I’ll be ready to marry you. Please understand that, because if I ever lost you, I don’t’ know what I’d do either.” She let out a little sob and Chris turned to face her.
“I love you, Angel.”
“I love you too. More than I’ve ever loved anyone else.”
They embraced, heads on each others’ shoulders, tears still falling. A long while later, Angel stood. “I’ve got to go. Mrs. Camaletti’s pets are waiting.”
Chris sneezed. [LOL. Not.]
“Bless you.” Angel smiled and shook her head.
“Thanks.”
Angel held both of his hands and looked into his eyes. “One day, I’ll be ready. I promise.”
“I’ll be waiting. I’ll wait forever if I have to.”
“It won’t take that long,” she said, half-smiling. She kissed him with a new found passion, and then left for home.
NOTES:
1) Was there a point to that Dustin scene? Ok, I didn’t think so either.
2) Was there a point to that Bobby scene? Oh right, he had to inform Angel about Chris’s sulking locale. I’m sure she wouldn’t have checked the locker room.
3) So who thinks Angel and Chris will actually make it to the altar? I mean, he said he’d wait forever. That’s some patience. I’m sure he actually means it and wasn’t speaking figuratively.
4) That interaction between Chris and Angel (Changel?) might not have been too bad, if it weren’t for all the sobbing and clichés and the fact that Angel was there.
Alllllrighty then. We’ve got a good one on tap for next time. I know y’all miss Marie/Nightshade/plot contrivance as much as I do. And I’ll bet you’re thinking to yourselves: “Wowlions! It’s been too long since Angel has interfered in the Steiner Brothers’ lives. And how about some really useless dialogue to pad out the end of a chapter … and could you throw in a casual mention of one of Angel’s BFFs whom she inexplicably never talks to anymore?” Well you’re in luck! All are coming your way in …
Chapter 29: Mail.
Chapter 28: Who Can You Trust?
“Hold still,” Angel chided while she bandaged Dustin’s left bicep.
“Ouch!” He cried as she bumped the wound. “Watch it, will you?”
“Sorry,” she muttered, clasping the bandage. “You’re done. Come back tomorrow if the pain starts up again.” Angel said in a lifeless voice.
“Thanks,” said Dustin, hopping off the examination table. “Hey, Angel, what’s with you today? You angry with me?”
“No Dustin, I’m sorry. I’ve just had a bad day. I shouldn’t take it out on you.” She sighed.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“No, thanks.” [gasp! Did she just refuse the chance to cry and overemote?]
“Allright then. Cheer up, huh?” he kissed her on the forehead and left.
Angel sunk down into the leather couch [wait. Now her office has a leather couch?!?] and pulled her hair from her ponytail, letting it flow over her shoulders. She glanced at the clock. 3:57. Her day was over. What a horrible day it had been. First her argument with Chris, then she nearly attacked Dustin for no reason [uhm, or you just kind of weren’t particularly gentle with his wounded bicep. It’s not like you took a scalpel to his face. Maybe next time try that.] and … now what, she thought as she got up to answer the knock at the door.
“Hey, Angelica.”
“Hi, Bobby,” she murmured.
“Chris told me what happened.”
Angel did not reply. She just looked at the floor.
“He wants to apologize.”
Angel’s face lit up in confusion.
“Why? He didn’t do anything wrong.”
“He thinks so.”
“Where is he? I need to talk to him.”
“Sulking in the locker room.” [oh GLORY.]
“Thank you, Bobby,” she said, hugging him warmly.
--------
Angel knocked softly on the locker room door. There was a light on in the far corner of the huge room. Chris was laying on a bench, hands behind his head, knees in the air. He looked as if he’d been crying […of course].
“Chris?”
He sat up when he heard her voice. “Hi, Angel,” he said in a shaky voice.
“Mind if I sit down?”
Chris shook his head. Angel sat close to him.
“Bobby talk to you?”
Angel nodded.
“Angel, I’m sorry. I truly am. I had no right to say what I did to you. Just the thought of losing you makes me …” his voice cracked and he broke off and turned his head away from her.
She handed him a tissue [HUZZAH!].
“Thanks.”
“Chris,” she began in a voice barely above a whisper. “Chris, don’t blame yourself.” She touched his shoulder lightly. “You had every right to say that to me, because I can’t deny it. I can’t. There’s still a little part of me that doesn’t trust anybody, not even you. I’ve just got to learn not to let that little part of me ruin my life. So please Chris, don’t ever blame yourself for that. With people like you and Bobby [wtf is he doing here?] in my life, maybe I’ll be able to defeat that little part of me, and then I’ll be ready to marry you. Please understand that, because if I ever lost you, I don’t’ know what I’d do either.” She let out a little sob and Chris turned to face her.
“I love you, Angel.”
“I love you too. More than I’ve ever loved anyone else.”
They embraced, heads on each others’ shoulders, tears still falling. A long while later, Angel stood. “I’ve got to go. Mrs. Camaletti’s pets are waiting.”
Chris sneezed. [LOL. Not.]
“Bless you.” Angel smiled and shook her head.
“Thanks.”
Angel held both of his hands and looked into his eyes. “One day, I’ll be ready. I promise.”
“I’ll be waiting. I’ll wait forever if I have to.”
“It won’t take that long,” she said, half-smiling. She kissed him with a new found passion, and then left for home.
NOTES:
1) Was there a point to that Dustin scene? Ok, I didn’t think so either.
2) Was there a point to that Bobby scene? Oh right, he had to inform Angel about Chris’s sulking locale. I’m sure she wouldn’t have checked the locker room.
3) So who thinks Angel and Chris will actually make it to the altar? I mean, he said he’d wait forever. That’s some patience. I’m sure he actually means it and wasn’t speaking figuratively.
4) That interaction between Chris and Angel (Changel?) might not have been too bad, if it weren’t for all the sobbing and clichés and the fact that Angel was there.
Alllllrighty then. We’ve got a good one on tap for next time. I know y’all miss Marie/Nightshade/plot contrivance as much as I do. And I’ll bet you’re thinking to yourselves: “Wowlions! It’s been too long since Angel has interfered in the Steiner Brothers’ lives. And how about some really useless dialogue to pad out the end of a chapter … and could you throw in a casual mention of one of Angel’s BFFs whom she inexplicably never talks to anymore?” Well you’re in luck! All are coming your way in …
Chapter 29: Mail.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Chapter 20: Abandoned
Well, I promised one today and you're getting one today. Hope this doesn't dampen anyone's holiday spirits. Take a deep breath for ...
Chapter 20: Abandoned
Teusday [why couldn’t I spell this word?] came and went. Chris was halfway around the world, and Angel was lonely. First Bobby, then Madusa, now Chris. And if things weren’t bad enough, her other friends, Sting, 2 Cold Scorpio, Ricky Steamboat, and even Dustin seemed to be avoiding her. She would greet Sting in the hall and receive no more than a nod. Her conversations with Ricky were brisk and abrupt, and Scorpio simply ignored her. [anyone here blame them? anyone?]
She did not want to mention any of this to Chris for fear of bringing him down. He was having a great time in Japan, and she wouldn’t want to spoil it for the world.
There was a pretty big card tonight. Sting versus Sid Vicious, Dustin Rhodes versus Rick Rude, and numerous others.
In Sting’s match, he sustained a broken finger. She gave him a splint and wrapped it painstakingly. He muttered a thanks and left quickly.
Through the rest of the night wrestlers who were supposedly her friends continued to avoid her and even give her nasty looks at times.
She was very upset by now. All of her friends were either gone or mad at her for some unknown reason. She couldn’t think of why any of them – much less all of them –could be angry at her. She needed someone to talk to – the only problem was that there was noone she could talk to.
The card ended, and Angel was still clueless as to why the world had it in for her. Figuring she still might have a friend in Dustin, she knocked on his dressing room door.
He opened his door and his expressioned [sic] darkened when he saw her.
“Angel, I’m busy, come back later, OK?”
“Please, Dustin, I need to talk to you.” Tears were close.
He made no reply, only looked away.
“Why is everyone doing this to me?” she cried. Tears slid down her cheeks and she turned away from him. “Why won’t anyone talk to me?” she proceeded to leave but Dustin grabbed her shoulder.
“You really don’t know, do you?”
She shook her head.
“Angel, Marcus told us why you two broke up.”
“What do you mean? You already know how we broke up.” She was confused.
Dustin paused to think.
“What did Marcus tell you?”
“He said that … Oh, Angel, I’m so sorry for believing him.”
“What did he say?” her voice was less kind now, Anger boiled insider of her. She didn’t think she’d ever felt more hate in her life for anyone than she did right now for Marcus [wow].
“Marcus told us that you had broken up with him because you were tired of him and wanted Chris.” [seriously? That was it? Seriously?!?]
“Angel had a feeling that Dustin was softening Marcus’ words.
“Please forgive me, Angel. I never should have believed that you would do something like that. [like what???] Angel, Angel. You Okay?”
“I’m just fine.” She said through clenched teeth. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. “I’m not angry with you, Dustin.” She said noticing Dustin’s look of worry. He eased at her words. “It’s that … that … poor excuse for a human being, Marcus.” [ouch!]
“Calm down, Angel.”
“Calm down!!?!! CALM DOWN! You expect me to calm down after the hell that jerk has put me through?” [Angel said the H word! She must be mad!]
“What’re you doing to do about Marcus?”
“Nothing.”
“What!?!”
“Once Marcus sees that all of my friends and I are together, he’ll know that his plan failed, and anyway, revenge is useless.”
Dustin shook his head. “You’re an incredible lady, Angelica Kerris.” [gak]
Angel smiled faintly. “Thanks, Dustin. But I’ve still got a problem.”
“What?”
“You’re my only friend left in this world.” [overdramatize much?]
“Don’t worry. I’ll fix that. I’ll broadcast your innocence over the radio if I have to.”
In a few hours, Dustin reclaimed all of Angel’s friends for her. She wanted to repay him in some way, but he insisted that she could just call it even for all of the times she had helped him.
NOTES:
1) Oh wow. Wow wow wow wowwity wow wow. WOW.
2) Sid Vicious! Before he was Sid Justice and Sycho Sid. Good times. I remember reading that in his WM 13 match against the Undertaker he crapped his pants. I googled it and found this website. Sooo awesome: http://sidcrapspants.ytmnd.com/
Coming up next …
We revisit Angel’s tortured past in …
Chapter 21: A Surprise
Chapter 20: Abandoned
Teusday [why couldn’t I spell this word?] came and went. Chris was halfway around the world, and Angel was lonely. First Bobby, then Madusa, now Chris. And if things weren’t bad enough, her other friends, Sting, 2 Cold Scorpio, Ricky Steamboat, and even Dustin seemed to be avoiding her. She would greet Sting in the hall and receive no more than a nod. Her conversations with Ricky were brisk and abrupt, and Scorpio simply ignored her. [anyone here blame them? anyone?]
She did not want to mention any of this to Chris for fear of bringing him down. He was having a great time in Japan, and she wouldn’t want to spoil it for the world.
There was a pretty big card tonight. Sting versus Sid Vicious, Dustin Rhodes versus Rick Rude, and numerous others.
In Sting’s match, he sustained a broken finger. She gave him a splint and wrapped it painstakingly. He muttered a thanks and left quickly.
Through the rest of the night wrestlers who were supposedly her friends continued to avoid her and even give her nasty looks at times.
She was very upset by now. All of her friends were either gone or mad at her for some unknown reason. She couldn’t think of why any of them – much less all of them –could be angry at her. She needed someone to talk to – the only problem was that there was noone she could talk to.
The card ended, and Angel was still clueless as to why the world had it in for her. Figuring she still might have a friend in Dustin, she knocked on his dressing room door.
He opened his door and his expressioned [sic] darkened when he saw her.
“Angel, I’m busy, come back later, OK?”
“Please, Dustin, I need to talk to you.” Tears were close.
He made no reply, only looked away.
“Why is everyone doing this to me?” she cried. Tears slid down her cheeks and she turned away from him. “Why won’t anyone talk to me?” she proceeded to leave but Dustin grabbed her shoulder.
“You really don’t know, do you?”
She shook her head.
“Angel, Marcus told us why you two broke up.”
“What do you mean? You already know how we broke up.” She was confused.
Dustin paused to think.
“What did Marcus tell you?”
“He said that … Oh, Angel, I’m so sorry for believing him.”
“What did he say?” her voice was less kind now, Anger boiled insider of her. She didn’t think she’d ever felt more hate in her life for anyone than she did right now for Marcus [wow].
“Marcus told us that you had broken up with him because you were tired of him and wanted Chris.” [seriously? That was it? Seriously?!?]
“Angel had a feeling that Dustin was softening Marcus’ words.
“Please forgive me, Angel. I never should have believed that you would do something like that. [like what???] Angel, Angel. You Okay?”
“I’m just fine.” She said through clenched teeth. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. “I’m not angry with you, Dustin.” She said noticing Dustin’s look of worry. He eased at her words. “It’s that … that … poor excuse for a human being, Marcus.” [ouch!]
“Calm down, Angel.”
“Calm down!!?!! CALM DOWN! You expect me to calm down after the hell that jerk has put me through?” [Angel said the H word! She must be mad!]
“What’re you doing to do about Marcus?”
“Nothing.”
“What!?!”
“Once Marcus sees that all of my friends and I are together, he’ll know that his plan failed, and anyway, revenge is useless.”
Dustin shook his head. “You’re an incredible lady, Angelica Kerris.” [gak]
Angel smiled faintly. “Thanks, Dustin. But I’ve still got a problem.”
“What?”
“You’re my only friend left in this world.” [overdramatize much?]
“Don’t worry. I’ll fix that. I’ll broadcast your innocence over the radio if I have to.”
In a few hours, Dustin reclaimed all of Angel’s friends for her. She wanted to repay him in some way, but he insisted that she could just call it even for all of the times she had helped him.
NOTES:
1) Oh wow. Wow wow wow wowwity wow wow. WOW.
2) Sid Vicious! Before he was Sid Justice and Sycho Sid. Good times. I remember reading that in his WM 13 match against the Undertaker he crapped his pants. I googled it and found this website. Sooo awesome: http://sidcrapspants.ytmnd.com/
Coming up next …
We revisit Angel’s tortured past in …
Chapter 21: A Surprise
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Chapter 12: Bobby's New Partner
When we last left our insufferable blonde heroine, she was driving home from Sting's rockin' party, no doubt capable of blowing a .8, if breathalyzers could detect sanctimoniousness and stupid advice. Are you ready to see where this train wreck goes next? (Hint: it involves a hideously long description of how pretty and nice Angel is.) If so, then please join me in suffering through ...
Chapter 12: Bobby's New Partner
In the 2 weeks following Rick and Scott's party, a number of things happened, Bobby, who was still pretty upset about losing Arn, was full time tag teaming with Chris Benoit. He had made this decision after a series of matches between himself and Arn.
The fans now knew that the legendary [?!] Eaton/Anderson team was no more. Arn told the fans that while he was injured, Bobby had never called him. [I'm pretty sure that was an actual storyline. Carters?]. This had made Bobby furious, but he saw no purpose in telling the fans the truth [why not just poll magazine readers?]. He had gone almost his whole career as a heel, and could go on as one now.
Dustin was momentarily pulled off of Cloud 9 when Barry Windham vowed to destroy him and then broke Dustin's forearm. Just yesterday, she had signed his new cast. - "No turn on red - ha ha! Hope you get better real soon. Lotsa love - Angel"
Angel was wrong about her happy streak lasting, so far.
Bobby wanted Chris to meet Angel, so today he brought him in to her office. Chris had never seen her before, but Bobby told her how nice and friendly she was, so he was looking foward to it. But he never expected what he saw.
When they entered the infirmary, Bobby introduced them, but Chris barely heard him. [hold on to your lunch, folks] He was taken aback by her beauty. Her sparkling blue eyes put him in a trance, her golden hair shined in the sunlight from the window. She was, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. When she shook his hand, his heart raced, and his insides melted [sounds like dysentery]. Her skin was soft and warm.
He floated through the whole introduction, not hearing what anyone said, himself included. There was only her. Her smile. Her face.
When Bobby and Chris left her office, Chris was still with her in her mind.
"Chris? Chris! Hello!" Bobby said, interrupting his thoughts. He snapped back to Earth. "You were really spaced out there for a minute. You ok?"
"Better. I feel wonderful." He began to lace up his boots. "Bob, do you believe in love at first sight?"
"I guess. Why?"
"I've got a bad case of it. Bobby, please, tell me she's single."
"Angelica? Yeah. Why? You mean ..."
"Yeah. Bobby, she's a living goddess."
"She is pretty, isn't she?"
"Pretty? She's drop-dead gorgeous. And you said she was nice, didn't you?"
"Yeah, she's the nicest person I know," he said thoughtfully.
"She's perfect."
"So ask her out."
"What if she says no?"
"What if she says yes?"
"I don't know ..."
"Chris, if you like her that much, then go ahead."
"Well ... allright. It's definately worth a shot. God's she's beautiful," he said wistfully. "Bobby, you're her friend, right?"
"Yeah."
"Would you mind asking her what she thinks of me? I know it's kind of juvenile [you don't say], but please? So that if she didn't like me, I won't make a fool of myself? Please?" [why not just hand her a note that says "do u like me? check yes or no"]
"Allright Chris," Bobby sighed.
After the match, Bobby went to Angel as promised, but not for the reason he had planned. Chris had recieved a huge gash on his forehead during the match, and it was bleeding profusely. Chris had passed out and had to be carried into her office.
Angel had seen everything that had transpired and had everything necessary ready. With a piece of gauze, she applied pressure to the wound.
"Will he be OK?" Bobby looked incredibly pale and terribly concerned.
"If I can stop the bleeding, he'll be just fine" [uhm, except that he's apparantly lost enough blood to lose consciousness]. If not, I'll transfer him to a hospital." She grabbed another piece of gauze.
"He'll be fine. It's only superficial." Finally she had succeeded in stopping the bleeding. She taped down a fresh piece of gauze to his head and washed her hands again quickly.
She caught a glimpse of Bobby's flour-white face.
"Bobby, you'd better sit down."
"I can't see anything. My ears are ringing. Angelica ..." she caught him before he could hit the floor. She set him down gently and put a cot pillow behind his head. Meanwhile, Chris had woken up. He was dazed and unaware of his surroundings.
"Where am I?" His voice was painfully weak.
"Shh, don't talk, Chris. You'll be OK." her voice was soft and soothing.
"Bobby ..." he said, seeing him on the floor.
"He's allright. He just fainted. You lost a bit of blood, and you need to rest."
He laid back and closed his eyes. [Ok, I'm doing another editorial cut here. Basically the next page and a half contains extensive descriptions of Angel changing bandages and mopping their faces with wet washcloths. It's hideously boring. Anyhoo, Bobby comes to with no real explanation as to why he passed out ... I suppose we're supposed to intuit that he's freaked out by the sight of blood, which is, of course, patently ridiculous considering the fact that he's an effing wrestler, but oh well. I'll pick it up at the thrilling juncture where Bobby stands up]
His knees buckled at first, but then he was fine. He had to lean against the wall for support for a few seconds. Angel took the sleeping Chris' pulse and listened to his breathing. Everything seemed OK. She shot a worried glance at Bobby.
"I'm OK." he reassured.
"I'm going to call a backup nurse to handle any other injuries. I'm going to keep an eye on Chris. He needs a little more work."
"I'll stay here."
"No, Bobby. You still don't look so good. I think you'd better go home and rest. He'll be fine. Trust me."
"Ok. He's in good hands."
Bobby left a littel shaky, but otherwise fine. Angel called Katlin Ross the stand-by nurse and told her Chris' situation. She agreed with a bored sigh. Angel had never liked either Katlin or Leslie Canter. They were obnoxious snobs with huge egos. They avoided each other. [who are they and why are we hearing about them now? Well, here's the thing: we have reached the end of the second marble notebook. I was so excited to move on to the next notebook that I just wanted to fill up the rest of the page. It obviously didn't matter what I wrote].
TO BE CONTINUED ...
NOTES:
1) "No turn on red" - Get it? she "signed" it. Yes, I wrote this on someone's cast when I was in seventh grade and thought it was the epitome of wit.
2) The end of the second marble notebook? Egad! Never fear. There are two more. And my writing gets smaller the older I get, so there's plenty to come.
3) I'd like to reiterate one final time that if anyone's squicked out by the mention of Chris Benoit, then abandon ship while you can. He's not going anywhere for a good long while.
COMING UP NEXT:
Before we get to the thrilling conclusion of this chapter, I think I'm going to divulge some of weird crap I wrote in the margins and back pages of the notebooks. These include: lyrics to a song about oldies and a transcript of a blurb I got to read on a radio station. I was such a loser. You, my friends, are the winners.
Chapter 12: Bobby's New Partner
In the 2 weeks following Rick and Scott's party, a number of things happened, Bobby, who was still pretty upset about losing Arn, was full time tag teaming with Chris Benoit. He had made this decision after a series of matches between himself and Arn.
The fans now knew that the legendary [?!] Eaton/Anderson team was no more. Arn told the fans that while he was injured, Bobby had never called him. [I'm pretty sure that was an actual storyline. Carters?]. This had made Bobby furious, but he saw no purpose in telling the fans the truth [why not just poll magazine readers?]. He had gone almost his whole career as a heel, and could go on as one now.
Dustin was momentarily pulled off of Cloud 9 when Barry Windham vowed to destroy him and then broke Dustin's forearm. Just yesterday, she had signed his new cast. - "No turn on red - ha ha! Hope you get better real soon. Lotsa love - Angel"
Angel was wrong about her happy streak lasting, so far.
Bobby wanted Chris to meet Angel, so today he brought him in to her office. Chris had never seen her before, but Bobby told her how nice and friendly she was, so he was looking foward to it. But he never expected what he saw.
When they entered the infirmary, Bobby introduced them, but Chris barely heard him. [hold on to your lunch, folks] He was taken aback by her beauty. Her sparkling blue eyes put him in a trance, her golden hair shined in the sunlight from the window. She was, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. When she shook his hand, his heart raced, and his insides melted [sounds like dysentery]. Her skin was soft and warm.
He floated through the whole introduction, not hearing what anyone said, himself included. There was only her. Her smile. Her face.
When Bobby and Chris left her office, Chris was still with her in her mind.
"Chris? Chris! Hello!" Bobby said, interrupting his thoughts. He snapped back to Earth. "You were really spaced out there for a minute. You ok?"
"Better. I feel wonderful." He began to lace up his boots. "Bob, do you believe in love at first sight?"
"I guess. Why?"
"I've got a bad case of it. Bobby, please, tell me she's single."
"Angelica? Yeah. Why? You mean ..."
"Yeah. Bobby, she's a living goddess."
"She is pretty, isn't she?"
"Pretty? She's drop-dead gorgeous. And you said she was nice, didn't you?"
"Yeah, she's the nicest person I know," he said thoughtfully.
"She's perfect."
"So ask her out."
"What if she says no?"
"What if she says yes?"
"I don't know ..."
"Chris, if you like her that much, then go ahead."
"Well ... allright. It's definately worth a shot. God's she's beautiful," he said wistfully. "Bobby, you're her friend, right?"
"Yeah."
"Would you mind asking her what she thinks of me? I know it's kind of juvenile [you don't say], but please? So that if she didn't like me, I won't make a fool of myself? Please?" [why not just hand her a note that says "do u like me? check yes or no"]
"Allright Chris," Bobby sighed.
After the match, Bobby went to Angel as promised, but not for the reason he had planned. Chris had recieved a huge gash on his forehead during the match, and it was bleeding profusely. Chris had passed out and had to be carried into her office.
Angel had seen everything that had transpired and had everything necessary ready. With a piece of gauze, she applied pressure to the wound.
"Will he be OK?" Bobby looked incredibly pale and terribly concerned.
"If I can stop the bleeding, he'll be just fine" [uhm, except that he's apparantly lost enough blood to lose consciousness]. If not, I'll transfer him to a hospital." She grabbed another piece of gauze.
"He'll be fine. It's only superficial." Finally she had succeeded in stopping the bleeding. She taped down a fresh piece of gauze to his head and washed her hands again quickly.
She caught a glimpse of Bobby's flour-white face.
"Bobby, you'd better sit down."
"I can't see anything. My ears are ringing. Angelica ..." she caught him before he could hit the floor. She set him down gently and put a cot pillow behind his head. Meanwhile, Chris had woken up. He was dazed and unaware of his surroundings.
"Where am I?" His voice was painfully weak.
"Shh, don't talk, Chris. You'll be OK." her voice was soft and soothing.
"Bobby ..." he said, seeing him on the floor.
"He's allright. He just fainted. You lost a bit of blood, and you need to rest."
He laid back and closed his eyes. [Ok, I'm doing another editorial cut here. Basically the next page and a half contains extensive descriptions of Angel changing bandages and mopping their faces with wet washcloths. It's hideously boring. Anyhoo, Bobby comes to with no real explanation as to why he passed out ... I suppose we're supposed to intuit that he's freaked out by the sight of blood, which is, of course, patently ridiculous considering the fact that he's an effing wrestler, but oh well. I'll pick it up at the thrilling juncture where Bobby stands up]
His knees buckled at first, but then he was fine. He had to lean against the wall for support for a few seconds. Angel took the sleeping Chris' pulse and listened to his breathing. Everything seemed OK. She shot a worried glance at Bobby.
"I'm OK." he reassured.
"I'm going to call a backup nurse to handle any other injuries. I'm going to keep an eye on Chris. He needs a little more work."
"I'll stay here."
"No, Bobby. You still don't look so good. I think you'd better go home and rest. He'll be fine. Trust me."
"Ok. He's in good hands."
Bobby left a littel shaky, but otherwise fine. Angel called Katlin Ross the stand-by nurse and told her Chris' situation. She agreed with a bored sigh. Angel had never liked either Katlin or Leslie Canter. They were obnoxious snobs with huge egos. They avoided each other. [who are they and why are we hearing about them now? Well, here's the thing: we have reached the end of the second marble notebook. I was so excited to move on to the next notebook that I just wanted to fill up the rest of the page. It obviously didn't matter what I wrote].
TO BE CONTINUED ...
NOTES:
1) "No turn on red" - Get it? she "signed" it. Yes, I wrote this on someone's cast when I was in seventh grade and thought it was the epitome of wit.
2) The end of the second marble notebook? Egad! Never fear. There are two more. And my writing gets smaller the older I get, so there's plenty to come.
3) I'd like to reiterate one final time that if anyone's squicked out by the mention of Chris Benoit, then abandon ship while you can. He's not going anywhere for a good long while.
COMING UP NEXT:
Before we get to the thrilling conclusion of this chapter, I think I'm going to divulge some of weird crap I wrote in the margins and back pages of the notebooks. These include: lyrics to a song about oldies and a transcript of a blurb I got to read on a radio station. I was such a loser. You, my friends, are the winners.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Chapter 11: Rick and Scott's Party
USA had a Monday Night Raw 800th episode special on last night. Good stuff! Got to see clips of all my old faves from back in 1993, not to mention a chance to check out Cody Rhodes. Dustin's little bro has some killer abs, y'all.
Moving right along!
Here comes an amazing display of needless moralizing to what was an audience of uno (me), not to mention another glimpse into the world's lamest party scene ... someone get some milk for Angel's cookies, it's ...
Chapter 14: Rick and Scott's Party
Angel arrived at the party a little after 5:00 PM. She was wearing a wine colored silk blouse and a black miniskirt [WHAT?!? That trollop!]. She pulled her shining hair into a long braid.
Sting greeted her and his eyes lit up when he saw the cookies she'd brought. [ahem]
When she stepped inside, she immediately noticed that it was smaller than the last bash. She knew everyone there, Ricky Steamboat, Dustin Rhodes, Missy Hyatt, and Ron Simmons. "Where are the Steiners?" she asked Sting after greeting everyone.
"In the kitchen. Scotty wanted to use the phone for a sec."
They came out and when they saw her both of their faces shiowed happy recongition.
"Angie! It's been too long!"
"Hi, Ang."
She hugged them both and congratulated them. "Thanks Angie. Speaking of congratulations, did you hear about Dustin?"
Angel nodded. "Isn't it wonderful? I'm so happy for him."
Sting and Missy were chatting while the others were listening to Dustin talk about his fiance [zzzzz]. Rick went over to join them, but Scott said that he wanted to hang back. Angel decided to keep him company.
"Hey, I heard about you and Marcus."
"Who hasn't?" she half-smiled.
"I didn't think he was that sort of person. How are you doing?" he asked as they sat on a couch.
"I'm much better, thanks. I guess I've gotten over it. I'll never forgive him, though. He hurt me pretty bad."
Scott looked down at the floor. Angel touched his huge shoulder lightly.
"Scott, are you allright?" He sat up and nodded. A rap song came on. Angel wrinkled her nose. Scott saw this and smiled. "Don't like rap?"
She shook her head. "I love doo-wop. 'Tonite, Tonite' by the Mello-Kings is my favorite. Or mabye the 5 Satins with 'In the Still of the Night'." [rock on, young me, rock on.]
Scott hung his head again, and then put his face in his hands [here we go!].
"What did I say? What's wrong, Scotty?" she asked gently.
He sat up again, this time drawing in a long breath. He took his face from his hands and apologized. "I'm just having some problems with my girlfriend and 'In the Still of the Nite" by Boyz II Men is our song. Or maybe it's 'was' our song." He drew in another breath.
"If you want to talk to someone about it, I'm here."
"Thanks, Ang. It's easy to talk to a brother like Rick because he's my best friend, but this subject is very hard to discuss with him. I think I do need to talk to you. It's hard to talk to Sting or Dustin because we're so far apart most of the time." [as opposed to Angel, who lives in his garage?]
"Go ahead when you're ready."
"Well this whole fight is about one thing. This may sound silly, but I don't want to have sex until I'm married."
"That's not silly. I feel the same way."
"Really? We're a dying breed, Ang." [maybe because you're not reproducing?]
"I know. I'll respect whatever other people feel, but I suppose I'm kind of old fashioned. It's kind of a morality issue, I guess."
"I sure wish Marie felt that way, you see, every time we start getting a little too far too fast, I'd stop and ask her to slow down. I guess I did that one too many times last night, because she told me I had stepped over the line. Then she screamed at me to get out and leave her forever. I must have sat and cried for six hours last night. I love her so much. Life without her has become unbearable, oh god, here I go again." he said as a tear rolled down hes cheeck. [about time] Angel picked up his hand and squoze it.
"Why can't you talk to your brother about this?"
"Well, he made a mistake a long time ago, and doesn't want his little brother to make the same mistake [huh?]. Every time Marie and I start up, I get one step closer to losing my virginity. If Rick knew that, he'd lose all respect towards me." [!!!]
"Your borther's respect means a lot to you, doesn't it?"
He nodded.
"Scotty, did Marie love you."
"That's what she told me, why?"
"Well, I'll bet she's feeling as sad as you are right now. She was probably upset last night, but deply regretting what she said to you now."
"You really think so?"
"Yes. Love is the strongest force on earth, and you and Marie have plenty of it. You'll pull together."
"Ang, you're an inspiration and a good friend. Thank you." he gave her a hug.
Scotty went over to talk to Dustin. She was about to go join him when Missy Hyatt stopped her. "Hi Missy."
"Hi Angel. Look, I want to apoligize to you. I've been acting pretty rotton to you lately."
"Thanks, Missy. That's allright."
"Can you beileve what that Creep Marcus Bagwell did to us? Got your eyes on anyone else?"
"Not yet."
"Well stay away from Johnny Gunn. He's mine."
"No problem."
"See ya later!" she bubbled.
Wait till Madusa hears this! [hears what?] thought Angel as she walked over to Dustin, Rick, and Scott. They talked for a while, then Dustin had to elave. He said good-bye to everyone and congratulated his friends tha Steiners, who congratulated him back. Soon after that, the party ended. Angel and the Steiners traded phone numbers so they could stay in touch. Sting thanked her for the cookies and she thanked him for inviting her [compelling drama here].
As angel drove home, she felt better than she had felt in a long time. She hoped this happy streak would last.
NOTES
1) Let me just tell you how convinced I was that Boyz II Men's rendition of "In the Still of the Night" was going to get my generation into oldies: super convinced. Oh well. And maybe I'm a curmudgeon, but I still think the 5 Satins' version is better.
2) So apparantly, Scott is of the same mindset as our pristine Angel when it comes to amorous relations. I really don't know who is the most ridiculous when it comes to sex: Angel, Scott, or Rick. Ok, yes I do: it's Rick. Angel's at least got her weird notion of "morality," which makes zero sense to me, because it doesn't seem like her "morality" derives from any sort of religious ideal or, say, the fact that she has some sort of super-communicable STI that can be spread even with condoms. I mean, if you don't want to have sex before you get married, whatever, that's cool, but saying it's because of "morality" really doesn't explain anything, unless, of course, you're 13 and don't know how to understand or express your burgeoning ideas about sexuality, so you make your fan fiction characters equally clueless. Aaaanyhoo, Rick is out of control obsessed with Scott's sex life. Maybe if Scott were, like, a teenager? But they're two grown men! Yikes! WTF is your problem, Rick? You're seriously creepy. Scott, man, make your own decisions!
3) Marie sounds pretty intense. Hmm ... Marie ... where have we heard that name before?????
4) Angel gives the dumbest advice ever. I'm pretty sure you could get more insight from a dollar store greeting card.
5) Why isn't Alex invited to any parties? Or any other girls, for that matter?
Wow. Ok.
So Angel seems like she's in a pretty good place right now. She's getting cried on left and right, she's buried the hatchet with Missy Hyatt. But you know what she's missing? That's right .... lurv! Will she find it when she meets ... Chapter 12 - Bobby's New Partner? Tune in next time to find out!
Moving right along!
Here comes an amazing display of needless moralizing to what was an audience of uno (me), not to mention another glimpse into the world's lamest party scene ... someone get some milk for Angel's cookies, it's ...
Chapter 14: Rick and Scott's Party
Angel arrived at the party a little after 5:00 PM. She was wearing a wine colored silk blouse and a black miniskirt [WHAT?!? That trollop!]. She pulled her shining hair into a long braid.
Sting greeted her and his eyes lit up when he saw the cookies she'd brought. [ahem]
When she stepped inside, she immediately noticed that it was smaller than the last bash. She knew everyone there, Ricky Steamboat, Dustin Rhodes, Missy Hyatt, and Ron Simmons. "Where are the Steiners?" she asked Sting after greeting everyone.
"In the kitchen. Scotty wanted to use the phone for a sec."
They came out and when they saw her both of their faces shiowed happy recongition.
"Angie! It's been too long!"
"Hi, Ang."
She hugged them both and congratulated them. "Thanks Angie. Speaking of congratulations, did you hear about Dustin?"
Angel nodded. "Isn't it wonderful? I'm so happy for him."
Sting and Missy were chatting while the others were listening to Dustin talk about his fiance [zzzzz]. Rick went over to join them, but Scott said that he wanted to hang back. Angel decided to keep him company.
"Hey, I heard about you and Marcus."
"Who hasn't?" she half-smiled.
"I didn't think he was that sort of person. How are you doing?" he asked as they sat on a couch.
"I'm much better, thanks. I guess I've gotten over it. I'll never forgive him, though. He hurt me pretty bad."
Scott looked down at the floor. Angel touched his huge shoulder lightly.
"Scott, are you allright?" He sat up and nodded. A rap song came on. Angel wrinkled her nose. Scott saw this and smiled. "Don't like rap?"
She shook her head. "I love doo-wop. 'Tonite, Tonite' by the Mello-Kings is my favorite. Or mabye the 5 Satins with 'In the Still of the Night'." [rock on, young me, rock on.]
Scott hung his head again, and then put his face in his hands [here we go!].
"What did I say? What's wrong, Scotty?" she asked gently.
He sat up again, this time drawing in a long breath. He took his face from his hands and apologized. "I'm just having some problems with my girlfriend and 'In the Still of the Nite" by Boyz II Men is our song. Or maybe it's 'was' our song." He drew in another breath.
"If you want to talk to someone about it, I'm here."
"Thanks, Ang. It's easy to talk to a brother like Rick because he's my best friend, but this subject is very hard to discuss with him. I think I do need to talk to you. It's hard to talk to Sting or Dustin because we're so far apart most of the time." [as opposed to Angel, who lives in his garage?]
"Go ahead when you're ready."
"Well this whole fight is about one thing. This may sound silly, but I don't want to have sex until I'm married."
"That's not silly. I feel the same way."
"Really? We're a dying breed, Ang." [maybe because you're not reproducing?]
"I know. I'll respect whatever other people feel, but I suppose I'm kind of old fashioned. It's kind of a morality issue, I guess."
"I sure wish Marie felt that way, you see, every time we start getting a little too far too fast, I'd stop and ask her to slow down. I guess I did that one too many times last night, because she told me I had stepped over the line. Then she screamed at me to get out and leave her forever. I must have sat and cried for six hours last night. I love her so much. Life without her has become unbearable, oh god, here I go again." he said as a tear rolled down hes cheeck. [about time] Angel picked up his hand and squoze it.
"Why can't you talk to your brother about this?"
"Well, he made a mistake a long time ago, and doesn't want his little brother to make the same mistake [huh?]. Every time Marie and I start up, I get one step closer to losing my virginity. If Rick knew that, he'd lose all respect towards me." [!!!]
"Your borther's respect means a lot to you, doesn't it?"
He nodded.
"Scotty, did Marie love you."
"That's what she told me, why?"
"Well, I'll bet she's feeling as sad as you are right now. She was probably upset last night, but deply regretting what she said to you now."
"You really think so?"
"Yes. Love is the strongest force on earth, and you and Marie have plenty of it. You'll pull together."
"Ang, you're an inspiration and a good friend. Thank you." he gave her a hug.
Scotty went over to talk to Dustin. She was about to go join him when Missy Hyatt stopped her. "Hi Missy."
"Hi Angel. Look, I want to apoligize to you. I've been acting pretty rotton to you lately."
"Thanks, Missy. That's allright."
"Can you beileve what that Creep Marcus Bagwell did to us? Got your eyes on anyone else?"
"Not yet."
"Well stay away from Johnny Gunn. He's mine."
"No problem."
"See ya later!" she bubbled.
Wait till Madusa hears this! [hears what?] thought Angel as she walked over to Dustin, Rick, and Scott. They talked for a while, then Dustin had to elave. He said good-bye to everyone and congratulated his friends tha Steiners, who congratulated him back. Soon after that, the party ended. Angel and the Steiners traded phone numbers so they could stay in touch. Sting thanked her for the cookies and she thanked him for inviting her [compelling drama here].
As angel drove home, she felt better than she had felt in a long time. She hoped this happy streak would last.
NOTES
1) Let me just tell you how convinced I was that Boyz II Men's rendition of "In the Still of the Night" was going to get my generation into oldies: super convinced. Oh well. And maybe I'm a curmudgeon, but I still think the 5 Satins' version is better.
2) So apparantly, Scott is of the same mindset as our pristine Angel when it comes to amorous relations. I really don't know who is the most ridiculous when it comes to sex: Angel, Scott, or Rick. Ok, yes I do: it's Rick. Angel's at least got her weird notion of "morality," which makes zero sense to me, because it doesn't seem like her "morality" derives from any sort of religious ideal or, say, the fact that she has some sort of super-communicable STI that can be spread even with condoms. I mean, if you don't want to have sex before you get married, whatever, that's cool, but saying it's because of "morality" really doesn't explain anything, unless, of course, you're 13 and don't know how to understand or express your burgeoning ideas about sexuality, so you make your fan fiction characters equally clueless. Aaaanyhoo, Rick is out of control obsessed with Scott's sex life. Maybe if Scott were, like, a teenager? But they're two grown men! Yikes! WTF is your problem, Rick? You're seriously creepy. Scott, man, make your own decisions!
3) Marie sounds pretty intense. Hmm ... Marie ... where have we heard that name before?????
4) Angel gives the dumbest advice ever. I'm pretty sure you could get more insight from a dollar store greeting card.
5) Why isn't Alex invited to any parties? Or any other girls, for that matter?
Wow. Ok.
So Angel seems like she's in a pretty good place right now. She's getting cried on left and right, she's buried the hatchet with Missy Hyatt. But you know what she's missing? That's right .... lurv! Will she find it when she meets ... Chapter 12 - Bobby's New Partner? Tune in next time to find out!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Chapter 10: Spreading Good News
So I know you were probably pretty bummed out by the Angelessness in that last chapter. Well never fear, my iron-stomached readers, she's baaaaaaaaack.
Chapter 10: Spreading Good News
Dustin bounded into the Minniapolis Arena happier than he had ever been in his life. The world was beauitful, its beauty second only to his fiance Alexandra. His good mood was dampened slightly when he found out that it was Angel's day off [I can't believe that he didn't start weeping]. He spread the good news to Sting, Ricky Steamboat, Ron Simmons, 2 Cold Scorpio, and the rest of his friends. After the match, he decided to call Angel. He asked if he could come over to her her home in Robinsdale for a few minutes [wait ... now she lives in Minnesota? When did this happen?!?]. She gave him directions. It was only about a 15 minute drive from the arena.
Her hosue was pretty from the outside. It was a small brick 2 story house with lots of windows. It had a saltbox style roof [shout out to my 7th grade social studies teacher, Mr. Kleinrock, for teaching me what those were!] and a one car garage outside. He rang her doorbell and she answered promptly. She had on a blue sweater and a pair of faded jeans. She wore her golden hair up in a ponytail, as usual.
"Hey Dustin, come on in before you freeze."
As soon as he was in, he told her the good news. "Angel, I did it! I proposed to Alex! She said yes! Alex is going to be my wife!!!"
She grabbed him and hugged him. [woah!]
"Dustin! That wonderful! [sic] I'm so happy for the both of you! Congratulations!"
They sat down on her powder blue couch.
"You're not allergic to dogs or cats, are you?"
"No."
"That's good." As soon as she said that, a silver tabby jumped up on her lap. "Hey Fluff-o! Dustin, this is Flufflebunny."
He chuckled at the cat's name and stroked her soft fur.
"So when's the wedding?"
"I don't know, we haven't worked any details out, we still haven't gotten over the initial shock I guess. Hey, why are you crying?" [of course]
"I'm so happy for you Dustin! I can't believe it! What did it feel like?"
"It's hard to explain, Angel. Let me tell you what happened."
Dustin told Angel everything that happened, from what Alex was wearing, to telling everyone the news [exciting!]. Angel got them both coffee, spilling Flufflebunny. She came back from the kitchen with a little tan and white bulldog and a brown and black shar-pei treading at her heels. [what? now I know most of what I wrote is completely ridiculous, but this is the least believable thing so far. What dogs don't either bark like maniacs or immediately bound to the door when a visitor comes in.] She set down the coffee and introduced Wally (the shar-pei) and Floyd (the bulldog). "Excuse me for a minute, Dustin. Come on guys. I'll give you some milkbones if you behave, okay?" They followed her back into the kitchen and then she returned without them. Noises of contented munching drived in from the kitchen.
She looked over at Dustin and he looked as if he was about to cry [finally!]. She rushed over to him. She put her arm around him. "Dustin what's wrong?"
"Barry and I promised each other that we'd be the best men at each other's wedding, and now ..."
"Dustin," she said gently, "That's all in the past. I know it's hard for you, but look at the present. You're getting married to the woman you love, you'll be together forever. Try to put your bad feelings aside. You have a future filled with hope and happiness, don't dwell on sadness in the past." [man. that's so deep]
"You're right Angel. You're so right. I've gotta go, thank you."
"Congratulations, Dustin."
"Say goodbye to your furry friends for me."
"I will."
"Angel?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"See you tomorrow."
NOTES:
1) Whaaaaaaaaa? WTF was that ending? Well, Dustin, I guess Alexandra may have liquid eyes that light up with love and hair spritzed into a beautiful short style, but obviously you've got to sort some stuff out before you say "I do." I'm pretty sure I wasn't going for any sort of intrigue, though ... it was all supposed to be platonic.
2) So Angel lives in Minnesota now? Okay. I think my reasoning was that lots of wrestlers hail from Minnesota, so Angel probably should too. On the plus side, at least I finally realized that wrestlers don't live in their dressing rooms.
3) I'm a little disappointed at the paucity of details about Angel's house. Aside from a powder blue couch, what's it look like in there? I imagine there are framed posters of kittens dangling from tree limbs with "hang in there!" written at the bottom. And boxes of tissues everywhere.
4) At the risk of making myself seem like even more of a loser, I had a bulldog figurine and a sharpei figurine named, respectively, Wally and Floyd. A lot of things about me have changed since I was 13 years old, but grey cats, tan and white bulldogs, and brown shar-peis are still my favorite pets. Anyhoo, I know what you're thinking. This story was a perfect place for a Debilitating Pet Allergy. Don't think I didn't know that. This just wasn't the time. Be patient.
COMING UP NEXT TIME ...
Hoooooooooooo boy, we've got a good one on the docket. Ridiculous discussions of modern music, relationships, and S-E-X are on the way in ... Chapter 11: Rick and Scott's Party.
Chapter 10: Spreading Good News
Dustin bounded into the Minniapolis Arena happier than he had ever been in his life. The world was beauitful, its beauty second only to his fiance Alexandra. His good mood was dampened slightly when he found out that it was Angel's day off [I can't believe that he didn't start weeping]. He spread the good news to Sting, Ricky Steamboat, Ron Simmons, 2 Cold Scorpio, and the rest of his friends. After the match, he decided to call Angel. He asked if he could come over to her her home in Robinsdale for a few minutes [wait ... now she lives in Minnesota? When did this happen?!?]. She gave him directions. It was only about a 15 minute drive from the arena.
Her hosue was pretty from the outside. It was a small brick 2 story house with lots of windows. It had a saltbox style roof [shout out to my 7th grade social studies teacher, Mr. Kleinrock, for teaching me what those were!] and a one car garage outside. He rang her doorbell and she answered promptly. She had on a blue sweater and a pair of faded jeans. She wore her golden hair up in a ponytail, as usual.
"Hey Dustin, come on in before you freeze."
As soon as he was in, he told her the good news. "Angel, I did it! I proposed to Alex! She said yes! Alex is going to be my wife!!!"
She grabbed him and hugged him. [woah!]
"Dustin! That wonderful! [sic] I'm so happy for the both of you! Congratulations!"
They sat down on her powder blue couch.
"You're not allergic to dogs or cats, are you?"
"No."
"That's good." As soon as she said that, a silver tabby jumped up on her lap. "Hey Fluff-o! Dustin, this is Flufflebunny."
He chuckled at the cat's name and stroked her soft fur.
"So when's the wedding?"
"I don't know, we haven't worked any details out, we still haven't gotten over the initial shock I guess. Hey, why are you crying?" [of course]
"I'm so happy for you Dustin! I can't believe it! What did it feel like?"
"It's hard to explain, Angel. Let me tell you what happened."
Dustin told Angel everything that happened, from what Alex was wearing, to telling everyone the news [exciting!]. Angel got them both coffee, spilling Flufflebunny. She came back from the kitchen with a little tan and white bulldog and a brown and black shar-pei treading at her heels. [what? now I know most of what I wrote is completely ridiculous, but this is the least believable thing so far. What dogs don't either bark like maniacs or immediately bound to the door when a visitor comes in.] She set down the coffee and introduced Wally (the shar-pei) and Floyd (the bulldog). "Excuse me for a minute, Dustin. Come on guys. I'll give you some milkbones if you behave, okay?" They followed her back into the kitchen and then she returned without them. Noises of contented munching drived in from the kitchen.
She looked over at Dustin and he looked as if he was about to cry [finally!]. She rushed over to him. She put her arm around him. "Dustin what's wrong?"
"Barry and I promised each other that we'd be the best men at each other's wedding, and now ..."
"Dustin," she said gently, "That's all in the past. I know it's hard for you, but look at the present. You're getting married to the woman you love, you'll be together forever. Try to put your bad feelings aside. You have a future filled with hope and happiness, don't dwell on sadness in the past." [man. that's so deep]
"You're right Angel. You're so right. I've gotta go, thank you."
"Congratulations, Dustin."
"Say goodbye to your furry friends for me."
"I will."
"Angel?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"See you tomorrow."
NOTES:
1) Whaaaaaaaaa? WTF was that ending? Well, Dustin, I guess Alexandra may have liquid eyes that light up with love and hair spritzed into a beautiful short style, but obviously you've got to sort some stuff out before you say "I do." I'm pretty sure I wasn't going for any sort of intrigue, though ... it was all supposed to be platonic.
2) So Angel lives in Minnesota now? Okay. I think my reasoning was that lots of wrestlers hail from Minnesota, so Angel probably should too. On the plus side, at least I finally realized that wrestlers don't live in their dressing rooms.
3) I'm a little disappointed at the paucity of details about Angel's house. Aside from a powder blue couch, what's it look like in there? I imagine there are framed posters of kittens dangling from tree limbs with "hang in there!" written at the bottom. And boxes of tissues everywhere.
4) At the risk of making myself seem like even more of a loser, I had a bulldog figurine and a sharpei figurine named, respectively, Wally and Floyd. A lot of things about me have changed since I was 13 years old, but grey cats, tan and white bulldogs, and brown shar-peis are still my favorite pets. Anyhoo, I know what you're thinking. This story was a perfect place for a Debilitating Pet Allergy. Don't think I didn't know that. This just wasn't the time. Be patient.
COMING UP NEXT TIME ...
Hoooooooooooo boy, we've got a good one on the docket. Ridiculous discussions of modern music, relationships, and S-E-X are on the way in ... Chapter 11: Rick and Scott's Party.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Chapter 9: The Proposal
Hi all. Sorry for the long absence. I don't know if this will make up for it or not, but this is a 100% Angel-Free chapter. It's sucky and overwritten, but at least there's no crying. Well, mostly. Anyhoo, without further ado, I hereby present:
Chapter 9: The Proposal
Dustin checked for what must've been the thousandth time that night for the ring. Still there. He breathed a sigh of relief.
He rang Alexandra's doorbell. She came to the door before he could move his finger from the button. SHe was wearing a silky red blouse and a matching skirt [hawt]. Her soft brown hair was spritzed into its beautiful short style [double hawt]. Her liquid brown eyes lit up with love when she set them on Dustin.
Every time Dustin saw her his breath was robbed from him by her sheer beauty [woah, 13-year-old me, that's some line!]. He loved every inch of her [!], from her soft tan skin to her full red lips, from her incredible intelligence to her loving ways. From the tip of her toes to the top of her head, she was perfect.
A look of deep misery and sadness was distorting her lovely face. She invited him in and pulled him onto her couch before he could kiss her hello.
"Dustin, we have to talk." He held her shaking hand gently as she continued. "That is if you want to talk to me after what happened."
"What are you talking about, Alex?"
"I just totaled your friendship with Barry. It's all my fault. Please don't play innocent, it'll only hurt me more when you go."
"Alex, I won't leave you. I love you more than I've ever loved another soul. And nothing that happened between me and Barry was your fault. I don't blame you for anything."
She still looked a little doubtful. "You don't?"
"No. Of course not."
"Then you didn't come over here to break up with me?"
"No!" He said smiling. He had come over to do something else, something wonderful.
"Oh Dustin, I'm so happy to hear that. The thought of losing you is unbearable." She buried her face in his chest and held on to him like the wolrd would end tomorrow.
"I feel the same way about you, Alex."
"Then why are you here?"
It wasn't exactly the most romantic moment, but oppurtunity only knocks once. He pulled her to gently to her feet, got onto one knee, and presented the diamond ring.
"Alexandra, will you marry me?"
Her jaw dropped and tears welled in her eyes.
"Dustin! I dont know what to say! I ... I ... yes!" She threw her arms around his neck and he clapsed her around the waist and swung her around in a circle while she covered him with kisses.
NOTES:
1) Well that was exciting. And grotesquely trite. But still more romantic than the way I got my engagement ring (his mom just handed it to me). Good for you, Dullexandra. I'm sure Barry will handle this very well.
So that was a pretty short chapter. But I prefer to think of it as mercifully short. I can't believe that Angel didn't even get a mention. No worries, folks, she's back with a bland blonde vengeance in ... Chapter 10 - Spreading Good News. BONUS: We get to see Angel's house. SUPER BONUS: egregious declaration of love. Seeya next time!
Chapter 9: The Proposal
Dustin checked for what must've been the thousandth time that night for the ring. Still there. He breathed a sigh of relief.
He rang Alexandra's doorbell. She came to the door before he could move his finger from the button. SHe was wearing a silky red blouse and a matching skirt [hawt]. Her soft brown hair was spritzed into its beautiful short style [double hawt]. Her liquid brown eyes lit up with love when she set them on Dustin.
Every time Dustin saw her his breath was robbed from him by her sheer beauty [woah, 13-year-old me, that's some line!]. He loved every inch of her [!], from her soft tan skin to her full red lips, from her incredible intelligence to her loving ways. From the tip of her toes to the top of her head, she was perfect.
A look of deep misery and sadness was distorting her lovely face. She invited him in and pulled him onto her couch before he could kiss her hello.
"Dustin, we have to talk." He held her shaking hand gently as she continued. "That is if you want to talk to me after what happened."
"What are you talking about, Alex?"
"I just totaled your friendship with Barry. It's all my fault. Please don't play innocent, it'll only hurt me more when you go."
"Alex, I won't leave you. I love you more than I've ever loved another soul. And nothing that happened between me and Barry was your fault. I don't blame you for anything."
She still looked a little doubtful. "You don't?"
"No. Of course not."
"Then you didn't come over here to break up with me?"
"No!" He said smiling. He had come over to do something else, something wonderful.
"Oh Dustin, I'm so happy to hear that. The thought of losing you is unbearable." She buried her face in his chest and held on to him like the wolrd would end tomorrow.
"I feel the same way about you, Alex."
"Then why are you here?"
It wasn't exactly the most romantic moment, but oppurtunity only knocks once. He pulled her to gently to her feet, got onto one knee, and presented the diamond ring.
"Alexandra, will you marry me?"
Her jaw dropped and tears welled in her eyes.
"Dustin! I dont know what to say! I ... I ... yes!" She threw her arms around his neck and he clapsed her around the waist and swung her around in a circle while she covered him with kisses.
NOTES:
1) Well that was exciting. And grotesquely trite. But still more romantic than the way I got my engagement ring (his mom just handed it to me). Good for you, Dullexandra. I'm sure Barry will handle this very well.
So that was a pretty short chapter. But I prefer to think of it as mercifully short. I can't believe that Angel didn't even get a mention. No worries, folks, she's back with a bland blonde vengeance in ... Chapter 10 - Spreading Good News. BONUS: We get to see Angel's house. SUPER BONUS: egregious declaration of love. Seeya next time!
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