Welcome back, folks. Boy howdy, is it hot out there today. At least where I live. When I try to take my dog for a walk, she gets to the end of the block and then stares at me as if to say "F this." Dude, I don't blame her. She's covered in a black fur coat. On the other hand, this situation does not stop her from suddenly getting a burst of energy and lunging like a maniac at neighborhood cats. Once she realizes that I will not allow her to pull an Alf and snack on kitties, however, she resumes panting and shooting me pathetic looks.
Allrighty then, where were we? Ah yes, Angel just had a conversation with Felicia, she of the cornsilk tressses, who advised Angel to have a trial separation from Chris. Then Felicia reported back to Violet, who cackled with evil glee. Today: Chris and Angel have it out. This chapter is rife with some unabashedlybad stables, such as tears, ellipses, and excessive descriptors. Bonus: italics. SUPER BONUS: dramatic use of a sock.
Enjoy!
Chapter 48 – Confession
Angel only had time to change and feed her pets [how has the ASPCA not seized them yet?] before Chris arrived. She shooed Flufflebunny upstairs and answered the doorbell. Her stomach could have turned skim milk into butter the way it was churning.
Angel opened the door. Chris Benoit stood there in blue jeans and an Edmonton Oilers jacket. His light brown hair shone in the cold moonlight. When he exhaled, tiny white puffs wafted away from him. He immediately looked up from his feet and locked eyes with Angel. She invited him in silently.
“I missed you, Chris.” She said, taking his coat and hanging it up.
“I missed you too, Sunshine.” He enveloped her in a hug, burying his chilled face in her fragranced hair. “I don’t know how I could have believed him,” he muttered to himself.
“What?” She asked, breaking their embrace.
“Angel …” he began “I …”
“Let’s sit down.” She ushered him to the couch. He stared at his shoes and drew in his breath.
“Angel. I … did something I shouldn’t have done.”
“So did I.” She admitted in a voice barely audible. “Please let me explain first.”
“No.”
“Yes, Chris. Please.”
He looked up at her and after a few long moments, agreed.
“It was just before you left for Japan. I should’ve told you as soon as it happened … but I didn’t and I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything.” A choking sob escaped from her throat. “I was in my office and Dustin Rhodes …”
“My God, no.”
“I don’t know what happened or why, Chris, but we kissed each other. You have to believe that’s all it was, Chris. You have to. It was one kiss and that was it. We pulled away from each other and immediately began to …. Oh God. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do any of this.” She broke off in tears.
“Oh, Angel.” Was all he could say. He stood and walked to the window. “Arn somehow found out about this and he told me. And I got so mad at myself for believing him.” Chris turned and faced Angelica. “But I should confess too.” She looked up at him with a perplexed glaze over her moist eyes. “When I found out about you, I … I … kissed someone else.”
“Who?”
“It’s not important.”
“Who?” she demanded.
“Violet Royce.” [does Angel even know who that is?] He moved back to the couch. “What’s wrong with us, Angel? I thought we were perfect.”
“I don’t know.” She enveloped her head in her arms and cried. Chris’ glance fell to the couch itself, for a piece of material was caught in the cushion. He yanked it out and inspected it. A deathly silence fell over the distraught couple. Angel lifted her head from her arms and realized what Chris was holding in his hands.
“Angel … has your brother visited in the last two weeks?” [huzzah! MBD!]
“No,” she squeaked.
“Now … unless you’ve started wearing men’s socks … I think I need an explanation. Whose sock is this?” His voice was firm and grave. [I thought this was extremely serious when I wrote this, but now I can’t stop laughing at the word “sock.”]
She didn’t say a word. Tears flowed down her face in streams.
“Tell me or I’m out that door and I swear you’ll never see me again.”
“It’s Dustin’s.”
“And … what … What is it doing here? No … please don’t tell me, Angel. Please, please, please.” His strong voice weakened until it faded into a whisper.
“Chris, listen to me. Barry Windham crashed his bachelor party – he needed a friend and I let him stay on the couch. I swear to you that nothing happened.”
“I don’t believe this, Angel!”
He threw the sock on the floor and stood up. “First, you neglect to tell me that you cheated on me with that peroxide blonde cowboy and then you invite him to spend the night while I’m halfway around the world?” What is wrong with you? Or … is it me, Angel? Am I not giving you what you need? Maybe you’re better off without me? Maybe I should just leave now and not look back. I sthat what you want? For God’s sakes, say something.” [holy overuse of italics, Batman]
“Don’t leave me, Chris,” she pleaded. “You have to believe me.”
“Why?”
“Because there’s nothing left for us if you don’t. Chris … nothing happened between Dustin and I that night. [except the usual emphatic hugging]. We had one kiss once … that was it.”
He swallowed hard and walked to the window again.
TO BE CONTINUED …
NOTES:
1) Did Dustin just go home with one sock? Didn't he notice that one of his feet was rather uncomfortable in his shoe? Unless ... he left it there on purpose as a love token. Gross?
2) Dang, there were a lot of tears in this chapter. I mean, even for me.
Woah, nelly. Alright folks, we're going to leave those two crazy kids in this tension-filled moment for now.
Coming up next ...
Changel continue to yammer, cry, and stare at each other. Then Angel makes a phone call that she will probably regret. Bring it!
Showing posts with label Mysterious Brother Danny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mysterious Brother Danny. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Chapter 44 - The Wedding Party
When we last left our merry band of losers, Dullexandra tied the knot and no one objected. This week: characters interact. That's about it. Sorry. On the plus side, we do get to see some more of Rick's trademark Goofball Antics. Wait, that's not a plus side. Well ... here's a plus side: no Clippy. Take what you can get, folks.
Chapter 44 – The Wedding Party
Sting hopped into Angel’s car. She pulled out of the parking lot.
“Thanks for the ride.”
“No problem.”
“Nice wedding, huh?”
“Yeah. It was beautiful.”
“Hey, Angel, did Dustin tell you what happened at the bachelor party?”
“With Barry? Yeah.”
“Where’d he end up? Did he just drive around all night?”
“No … he slept over at my house.”
Sting stared at her.
“Nothing happened, if you’re wondering. He slept on my couch. He needed a friend, and that’s what I was,” she said, annoyed.
Angel found a space in the rented hotel’s lot [they rented out the entire hotel? Dang!] and both she and Sting entered the party. The place was humming with activity, but Angel didn’t want to be a part of it. Odd feelings swept over her. It felt wrong for her to be here. She missed Chris and Bobby, but most of all, she missed her big brother Danny. She hadn’t spoken to him in over two years. [That’s what she feels bad about? That? With all of the other crap going on? Danny?]
Angel greeted everyone cordially, then found a table in the corner by herself. Why hadn’t she kept in touch with Danny? Well, she knew her big brother was never one to remember to call anyone. He was always busy with one project or another. Angel being a full time nurse and Danny being a struggling actor didn’t leave much time for communication. But still, two years? What was he doing now? Was he married? Did he have kids? That settled it. Angel would call him as soon as she could. [sure she will. Either that or we’ll never hear about him again.]
“Ang? You OK?”
Angel looked up. Scott was standing there.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You look beautiful.”
“Thank you. Have a seat.”
“Thanks.” Scott said, sitting next to Angel. [important detail there]
“How have you been, Scotty?”
“I’ve been alright. I, uh, met a woman,” he grinned.
“Yeah, what’s her name?”
“Justina.” [dunt dunt DUNNNNNNNNNNN!]
“What’s she like?”
“She’s about 27 or so, with curly copper hair, and these incredible blue eyes. They’re so beautiful.” [who gives out that kind of information upon being asked that question? Is the age significant unless it’s like, 17 or 87? Now that would make for an interesting story.]
“Sounds terrific! Where’d you meet her?”
“At this dance thing my brother dragged me to.” [a dance? A DANCE? Oh, I give up.] He looked away, into the crowd of people. “Wonder where he is.”
Angelica stood to help him search. She felt 2 hands cover her eyes.
“Guess who?”
“OJ Simpson?”
“Nope.”
“Homer Simpson?”
“D’oh! Nope – one more try.”
“Uhmm … Rick?”
“Give the woman a beer! Or at least a Zima or something.” [Yes. I wrote that. Wowlions.]
“Hey Rick.” She hugged him.
“Hey Angie.”
“Nice bowtie,” she said, taking in Rick’s neon pink neckwear.
“Thank you. Nice toenail polish.”
Angel looked down at her feet.
“Gotcha!” Rick cried in glee. [Oh, what a hilarious throwback to Sting’s party. Rick, you are a card.]
“Hi guys,” Greeted Sting, joining the group. “And gal.”
“Hey Sting.”
Much to Angel’s dismay, she had become thrust straight into the middle of the party.
“What’re we doing all alone here in the corner? Let’s mingle!” With a happy shriek, Sting moved into other swells of people. The party lasted until the wee hours of the morning, and Angel had a better time than she had expected [well thank goodness].
After the festivities were over, Angel packed her bags for Tupelo and Chris’ plane landed in St. Paul, Minnesota.
NOTES:
1) Wow, y'all, remember Zima? Those commercials were always on in the early 90's. "Zomething different!" Oh, the 90's. I wore so much flannel.
2) So Danny is a struggling actor in LA? And so busy with "projects" that he can't remember to call his only sister, who also apparantly can't remember to call him, despite the fact that both of their parents died in a horrific car accident years ago? Okaaaaaaaaaaay.
3) I think I can promise that this the only chapter that mentions OJ Simpson.
Coming up next … Chris + Arn + tape recorder = crying. You won’t want to miss this one. Join us next week for …
Chapter 45 – No Secrets, Part I
Chapter 44 – The Wedding Party
Sting hopped into Angel’s car. She pulled out of the parking lot.
“Thanks for the ride.”
“No problem.”
“Nice wedding, huh?”
“Yeah. It was beautiful.”
“Hey, Angel, did Dustin tell you what happened at the bachelor party?”
“With Barry? Yeah.”
“Where’d he end up? Did he just drive around all night?”
“No … he slept over at my house.”
Sting stared at her.
“Nothing happened, if you’re wondering. He slept on my couch. He needed a friend, and that’s what I was,” she said, annoyed.
Angel found a space in the rented hotel’s lot [they rented out the entire hotel? Dang!] and both she and Sting entered the party. The place was humming with activity, but Angel didn’t want to be a part of it. Odd feelings swept over her. It felt wrong for her to be here. She missed Chris and Bobby, but most of all, she missed her big brother Danny. She hadn’t spoken to him in over two years. [That’s what she feels bad about? That? With all of the other crap going on? Danny?]
Angel greeted everyone cordially, then found a table in the corner by herself. Why hadn’t she kept in touch with Danny? Well, she knew her big brother was never one to remember to call anyone. He was always busy with one project or another. Angel being a full time nurse and Danny being a struggling actor didn’t leave much time for communication. But still, two years? What was he doing now? Was he married? Did he have kids? That settled it. Angel would call him as soon as she could. [sure she will. Either that or we’ll never hear about him again.]
“Ang? You OK?”
Angel looked up. Scott was standing there.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You look beautiful.”
“Thank you. Have a seat.”
“Thanks.” Scott said, sitting next to Angel. [important detail there]
“How have you been, Scotty?”
“I’ve been alright. I, uh, met a woman,” he grinned.
“Yeah, what’s her name?”
“Justina.” [dunt dunt DUNNNNNNNNNNN!]
“What’s she like?”
“She’s about 27 or so, with curly copper hair, and these incredible blue eyes. They’re so beautiful.” [who gives out that kind of information upon being asked that question? Is the age significant unless it’s like, 17 or 87? Now that would make for an interesting story.]
“Sounds terrific! Where’d you meet her?”
“At this dance thing my brother dragged me to.” [a dance? A DANCE? Oh, I give up.] He looked away, into the crowd of people. “Wonder where he is.”
Angelica stood to help him search. She felt 2 hands cover her eyes.
“Guess who?”
“OJ Simpson?”
“Nope.”
“Homer Simpson?”
“D’oh! Nope – one more try.”
“Uhmm … Rick?”
“Give the woman a beer! Or at least a Zima or something.” [Yes. I wrote that. Wowlions.]
“Hey Rick.” She hugged him.
“Hey Angie.”
“Nice bowtie,” she said, taking in Rick’s neon pink neckwear.
“Thank you. Nice toenail polish.”
Angel looked down at her feet.
“Gotcha!” Rick cried in glee. [Oh, what a hilarious throwback to Sting’s party. Rick, you are a card.]
“Hi guys,” Greeted Sting, joining the group. “And gal.”
“Hey Sting.”
Much to Angel’s dismay, she had become thrust straight into the middle of the party.
“What’re we doing all alone here in the corner? Let’s mingle!” With a happy shriek, Sting moved into other swells of people. The party lasted until the wee hours of the morning, and Angel had a better time than she had expected [well thank goodness].
After the festivities were over, Angel packed her bags for Tupelo and Chris’ plane landed in St. Paul, Minnesota.
NOTES:
1) Wow, y'all, remember Zima? Those commercials were always on in the early 90's. "Zomething different!" Oh, the 90's. I wore so much flannel.
2) So Danny is a struggling actor in LA? And so busy with "projects" that he can't remember to call his only sister, who also apparantly can't remember to call him, despite the fact that both of their parents died in a horrific car accident years ago? Okaaaaaaaaaaay.
3) I think I can promise that this the only chapter that mentions OJ Simpson.
Coming up next … Chris + Arn + tape recorder = crying. You won’t want to miss this one. Join us next week for …
Chapter 45 – No Secrets, Part I
Monday, May 4, 2009
Chapter 37: Bobby's Last Day
In last week’s exciting installment, Bobby and Linda made up for some reason. Phew. Can Bobby use his recent success in resurrecting his marriage to help Angel with her relationship problems? Also, did you know that Bobby is from the south? I sure did. And I faithfully represented that southernness by replacing the final consonant in several words with an apostrophe. Witness my mastery of dialect in …
Chapter 37 – Bobby’s Last Day
Bobby Eaton hopped up on the cot next to Angel.
“Hey.” He smiled fully. [someone alert the media. Clippy’s smiling fully!]
“Bobby? Is that a smile?” Angel’s heart leaped.
“She believed me!”
Angel gave him a huge hug. [isn’t that how all this trouble started in the first place? Lay off the hugs, blondie.] “That’s wonderful. What changed her mind?”
“I don’t know and I don’t’ care,” he said firmly.
“Bobby – when are you going?”
“An hour or so, why?” [because we are all counting down the minutes]
“You got time to talk with me?”
“I always have time for you, Angelica. What’s wrong?”
“Well … I need some advice.”
“Ok, I’ll do my best.”
“This is between you and me … allright?”
“Sure.” His expression darkened. “What is it?”
“Umm …” She took a deep breath, “Yesterday, I was fixing up Dustin Rhodes’ head, and … well … everything was happening so fast … and the next thing I knew, we were kissing each other.”
“Oh, geez.”
“Yeah.”
“Did you tell Chris?”
“No. that’s what I need your advice for. Should I tell him or not?”
“Well … how do you think he’ll react to it?” [I’m sure he’ll be doing cartwheels. What kind of dumbass question is that?]
“I wish I knew, Bobby.” [You wish you knew? What kind of dumbass answer is that??]
“Hmmm … I think you should be honest with him. Tell him it was a mistake … It was a mistake, wasn’t it?”
“Of course. I love Chris, and Dustin’s gonna get married in a week and a half.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying you two must have some feelings for each other to have kissed like that.”
“Oh, Bobby, I don’t …”
“Angelica, think about it. Could you have done the same thing with Paul Orndorf or Leon?”
“I … I guess not.”
Bobby was silent.
“So, what does this mean?”
“I dunno, Angelica.”
“I love Chris, I really do.”
“I never said you didn’t. Your feelings for Dustin probably aren’t that big if you’re just realizin’ them now.” [your logic is impeccable]
“Oh Bobby, I feel so guilty.” [I can’t imagine why.]
“For havin’ those feelings for Dustin?”
“Yeah. Chris is such a wonderful guy. I feel like such a … slut.” [I think trollop might be a better word]
“Angelica, don’t say that. Feelings for other people are normal, so long as they’re not too urgent.”
“They are?”
“Sure.”
“You’ve … felt things for someone other than Linda?”
Bobby paused, considering the question. “Yeah. But only little twinges sometimes.” He stopped and uttered a short laugh. “I’ve never told anyone else this before, but … uh … I had a little bit of a crush on Madusa Miceli for a while.”
“No.” She gasped in disbelief, giggling a little.
“Yeah. Nothing big. It never made me want to leave Linda or anythin’ crazy like that, but … It was there.”
“That’s so weird. Duce and I were friends [yeah, whatever happened to that? Oh yeah, she moved and thus erased yourself from Angel’s consciousness.] and I remember her once saying she didn’t think you liked her at all.”
He grinned. [why?]
There was a moment of silence. A thought entered Angel’s mind. “You know, Bobby, you remind me so much of my big brother Danny.”
“I didn’t know you had a big brother.” [that makes all of us, Clippy]
“We’ve been out of touch. He lives in L.A.”
“I remind you of him?”
“Yeah.” Her answer was short, but enough for Bobby.
“Funny, I told my wife yesterday that you were the little sister I’ve always wanted.”
“See you on Thanksgiving.” They both laughed.
“I sure am gonna miss you, Angelica. You’ve been just about the best friend I’ve ever had.”
“Me too, Bobby. I wish you could stay a little while longer.”
“Jimmy an’ Stan, they’re good guys, and wrestlin’ there is a lot more fun than it is here, but you and Chris are here. It’s frustrating.” He hopped off the cot. She followed.
“You promise you’ll visit as soon as you can?”
“I promise. You gonna tell Chris?”
“Yeah. I hope he understands.”
“I think he will.” He moved to the door with her. “I hate goodbyes.”
“So do I. Especially when it’s the second time around.”
He smiled and gave her a tight hug. “I’ll seeya soon.”
“Okay. Thanks for the talk.” [good GOLLY, will you stop with the pleasantries? Y’all seriously have the least interesting interactions on the planet.]
“Anytime. And I mean that.”
“What’re big brothers for, right?”
“Right.” He smiled and hugged her one more time [of course], then he left for Smokey Mountain once again.
NOTES
1) Good riddance yet again, Clippy Lee. He’ll be gone for a good long while, folks. I hope that doesn’t make you turn away in droves.
2) So Angel has an older brother we’ve never heard about? Which is most likely? (A) we will never hear of him again, (B) he will function as a deus ex machina (C) he will become a recurring character – a slick, hug-avoidant Hollywood lothario who will serve as Angel’s foil (D) we will find out 15 chapters from now that he has died in a horrible car crash. There’s only one way to find out … that’s right. Keep on reading.
COMING UP NEXT ….
Will Angel tell Chris? Will Chris ever get a boot laced in peace? Will I develop a better sense of what constitutes witty banter? Tune in next week for …
Chapter 38: Chris’ News
Chapter 37 – Bobby’s Last Day
Bobby Eaton hopped up on the cot next to Angel.
“Hey.” He smiled fully. [someone alert the media. Clippy’s smiling fully!]
“Bobby? Is that a smile?” Angel’s heart leaped.
“She believed me!”
Angel gave him a huge hug. [isn’t that how all this trouble started in the first place? Lay off the hugs, blondie.] “That’s wonderful. What changed her mind?”
“I don’t know and I don’t’ care,” he said firmly.
“Bobby – when are you going?”
“An hour or so, why?” [because we are all counting down the minutes]
“You got time to talk with me?”
“I always have time for you, Angelica. What’s wrong?”
“Well … I need some advice.”
“Ok, I’ll do my best.”
“This is between you and me … allright?”
“Sure.” His expression darkened. “What is it?”
“Umm …” She took a deep breath, “Yesterday, I was fixing up Dustin Rhodes’ head, and … well … everything was happening so fast … and the next thing I knew, we were kissing each other.”
“Oh, geez.”
“Yeah.”
“Did you tell Chris?”
“No. that’s what I need your advice for. Should I tell him or not?”
“Well … how do you think he’ll react to it?” [I’m sure he’ll be doing cartwheels. What kind of dumbass question is that?]
“I wish I knew, Bobby.” [You wish you knew? What kind of dumbass answer is that??]
“Hmmm … I think you should be honest with him. Tell him it was a mistake … It was a mistake, wasn’t it?”
“Of course. I love Chris, and Dustin’s gonna get married in a week and a half.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying you two must have some feelings for each other to have kissed like that.”
“Oh, Bobby, I don’t …”
“Angelica, think about it. Could you have done the same thing with Paul Orndorf or Leon?”
“I … I guess not.”
Bobby was silent.
“So, what does this mean?”
“I dunno, Angelica.”
“I love Chris, I really do.”
“I never said you didn’t. Your feelings for Dustin probably aren’t that big if you’re just realizin’ them now.” [your logic is impeccable]
“Oh Bobby, I feel so guilty.” [I can’t imagine why.]
“For havin’ those feelings for Dustin?”
“Yeah. Chris is such a wonderful guy. I feel like such a … slut.” [I think trollop might be a better word]
“Angelica, don’t say that. Feelings for other people are normal, so long as they’re not too urgent.”
“They are?”
“Sure.”
“You’ve … felt things for someone other than Linda?”
Bobby paused, considering the question. “Yeah. But only little twinges sometimes.” He stopped and uttered a short laugh. “I’ve never told anyone else this before, but … uh … I had a little bit of a crush on Madusa Miceli for a while.”
“No.” She gasped in disbelief, giggling a little.
“Yeah. Nothing big. It never made me want to leave Linda or anythin’ crazy like that, but … It was there.”
“That’s so weird. Duce and I were friends [yeah, whatever happened to that? Oh yeah, she moved and thus erased yourself from Angel’s consciousness.] and I remember her once saying she didn’t think you liked her at all.”
He grinned. [why?]
There was a moment of silence. A thought entered Angel’s mind. “You know, Bobby, you remind me so much of my big brother Danny.”
“I didn’t know you had a big brother.” [that makes all of us, Clippy]
“We’ve been out of touch. He lives in L.A.”
“I remind you of him?”
“Yeah.” Her answer was short, but enough for Bobby.
“Funny, I told my wife yesterday that you were the little sister I’ve always wanted.”
“See you on Thanksgiving.” They both laughed.
“I sure am gonna miss you, Angelica. You’ve been just about the best friend I’ve ever had.”
“Me too, Bobby. I wish you could stay a little while longer.”
“Jimmy an’ Stan, they’re good guys, and wrestlin’ there is a lot more fun than it is here, but you and Chris are here. It’s frustrating.” He hopped off the cot. She followed.
“You promise you’ll visit as soon as you can?”
“I promise. You gonna tell Chris?”
“Yeah. I hope he understands.”
“I think he will.” He moved to the door with her. “I hate goodbyes.”
“So do I. Especially when it’s the second time around.”
He smiled and gave her a tight hug. “I’ll seeya soon.”
“Okay. Thanks for the talk.” [good GOLLY, will you stop with the pleasantries? Y’all seriously have the least interesting interactions on the planet.]
“Anytime. And I mean that.”
“What’re big brothers for, right?”
“Right.” He smiled and hugged her one more time [of course], then he left for Smokey Mountain once again.
NOTES
1) Good riddance yet again, Clippy Lee. He’ll be gone for a good long while, folks. I hope that doesn’t make you turn away in droves.
2) So Angel has an older brother we’ve never heard about? Which is most likely? (A) we will never hear of him again, (B) he will function as a deus ex machina (C) he will become a recurring character – a slick, hug-avoidant Hollywood lothario who will serve as Angel’s foil (D) we will find out 15 chapters from now that he has died in a horrible car crash. There’s only one way to find out … that’s right. Keep on reading.
COMING UP NEXT ….
Will Angel tell Chris? Will Chris ever get a boot laced in peace? Will I develop a better sense of what constitutes witty banter? Tune in next week for …
Chapter 38: Chris’ News
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