When we last left our merry band of losers, Dullexandra tied the knot and no one objected. This week: characters interact. That's about it. Sorry. On the plus side, we do get to see some more of Rick's trademark Goofball Antics. Wait, that's not a plus side. Well ... here's a plus side: no Clippy. Take what you can get, folks.
Chapter 44 – The Wedding Party
Sting hopped into Angel’s car. She pulled out of the parking lot.
“Thanks for the ride.”
“No problem.”
“Nice wedding, huh?”
“Yeah. It was beautiful.”
“Hey, Angel, did Dustin tell you what happened at the bachelor party?”
“With Barry? Yeah.”
“Where’d he end up? Did he just drive around all night?”
“No … he slept over at my house.”
Sting stared at her.
“Nothing happened, if you’re wondering. He slept on my couch. He needed a friend, and that’s what I was,” she said, annoyed.
Angel found a space in the rented hotel’s lot [they rented out the entire hotel? Dang!] and both she and Sting entered the party. The place was humming with activity, but Angel didn’t want to be a part of it. Odd feelings swept over her. It felt wrong for her to be here. She missed Chris and Bobby, but most of all, she missed her big brother Danny. She hadn’t spoken to him in over two years. [That’s what she feels bad about? That? With all of the other crap going on? Danny?]
Angel greeted everyone cordially, then found a table in the corner by herself. Why hadn’t she kept in touch with Danny? Well, she knew her big brother was never one to remember to call anyone. He was always busy with one project or another. Angel being a full time nurse and Danny being a struggling actor didn’t leave much time for communication. But still, two years? What was he doing now? Was he married? Did he have kids? That settled it. Angel would call him as soon as she could. [sure she will. Either that or we’ll never hear about him again.]
“Ang? You OK?”
Angel looked up. Scott was standing there.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You look beautiful.”
“Thank you. Have a seat.”
“Thanks.” Scott said, sitting next to Angel. [important detail there]
“How have you been, Scotty?”
“I’ve been alright. I, uh, met a woman,” he grinned.
“Yeah, what’s her name?”
“Justina.” [dunt dunt DUNNNNNNNNNNN!]
“What’s she like?”
“She’s about 27 or so, with curly copper hair, and these incredible blue eyes. They’re so beautiful.” [who gives out that kind of information upon being asked that question? Is the age significant unless it’s like, 17 or 87? Now that would make for an interesting story.]
“Sounds terrific! Where’d you meet her?”
“At this dance thing my brother dragged me to.” [a dance? A DANCE? Oh, I give up.] He looked away, into the crowd of people. “Wonder where he is.”
Angelica stood to help him search. She felt 2 hands cover her eyes.
“Guess who?”
“OJ Simpson?”
“Nope.”
“Homer Simpson?”
“D’oh! Nope – one more try.”
“Uhmm … Rick?”
“Give the woman a beer! Or at least a Zima or something.” [Yes. I wrote that. Wowlions.]
“Hey Rick.” She hugged him.
“Hey Angie.”
“Nice bowtie,” she said, taking in Rick’s neon pink neckwear.
“Thank you. Nice toenail polish.”
Angel looked down at her feet.
“Gotcha!” Rick cried in glee. [Oh, what a hilarious throwback to Sting’s party. Rick, you are a card.]
“Hi guys,” Greeted Sting, joining the group. “And gal.”
“Hey Sting.”
Much to Angel’s dismay, she had become thrust straight into the middle of the party.
“What’re we doing all alone here in the corner? Let’s mingle!” With a happy shriek, Sting moved into other swells of people. The party lasted until the wee hours of the morning, and Angel had a better time than she had expected [well thank goodness].
After the festivities were over, Angel packed her bags for Tupelo and Chris’ plane landed in St. Paul, Minnesota.
NOTES:
1) Wow, y'all, remember Zima? Those commercials were always on in the early 90's. "Zomething different!" Oh, the 90's. I wore so much flannel.
2) So Danny is a struggling actor in LA? And so busy with "projects" that he can't remember to call his only sister, who also apparantly can't remember to call him, despite the fact that both of their parents died in a horrific car accident years ago? Okaaaaaaaaaaay.
3) I think I can promise that this the only chapter that mentions OJ Simpson.
Coming up next … Chris + Arn + tape recorder = crying. You won’t want to miss this one. Join us next week for …
Chapter 45 – No Secrets, Part I
Showing posts with label Sting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sting. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Chapter 43: The Big Day
Salutations, friends. In last week’s thrilling chapter, Alex misplaced her French Maid costume and Barry made out with her until Dustin woke up from his nightmare in a convulsive fit of sobs. Then tissues spontaneously generated in Angel’s living room and he went back to sleep. Today: wedding! Bring it.
Chapter 43 – The Big Day
Angel sat next to Sting in the second pew at St. Joseph’s Church.
“Angel! You look fantastic!” he whispered, taking in Angel’s light blue dress. [did she buy it as part of a matching set with her couch?]
“Thanks! I hardly recognized you in that tux! Pretty spiffy!” she whispered back. [I do hope he’s wearing his facepaint as part of the ensemble.]
Rick and Scott Steiner found Angel and Sting and sat in the row behind them.
“Hey, Angie! Hey Stinger!”
The church was quieted and the organ sounded. Alexandra York, arm in arm with her father, entered. Her dress was exquisite. Pure white with a laced neck and sleeves. A long veil and train trailed behind her. She carried a bouquet of lilacs and baby’s breath that matched her bridesmaids’ gowns perfectly [why, why, why is this the only description of their dresses?]. Her dark-tan skin was glowing, and she was smiling from ear to ear as she approached Dustin. She stepped up to the alter [sic. But when you think about it, it works as a verb too] and turned to face her husband-to-be.
The minister cleared his throat and began.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of this man and woman in holy matrimony. Do you, Alexandra Denise York, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and health, for rich or for poor, to death do you part?”
“I do.”
“And do you, Dustin Matthew Rhodes, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for rich and for poor, to death do you part?”
“I do.”
“Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Dustin didn’t need to be told twice. He kissed her as he had never kissed her before. The church burst into applause. Rick Steiner whistled loudly. Scott elbowed him. Angel giggled.
“You think this is bad—at our sister Crystal’s wedding, he kept asking where to buy peanuts,” Scott said.
Everyone stood as the happy couple made their exit.
NOTES:
1) Alex’s dress: Pure white with a laced neck and sleeves. H A W T. I have an excellent picture of this in my head, but so far I haven’t found anything via google images to match it. Do let me know if any of y’all have any luck.
2) That was the shortest wedding ceremony ever. Not a bad thing. But man, why not the “speak now or forever hold your peace”? Considering the fact that at the time of writing this, the only weddings I’d ever seen were on soap operas, you would think that the Dullexandra nuptials would have been a crazy drama-infested throwdown. Alas. On a related note, has anyone ever been to an actual wedding where they say that “speak now” bit? Slice and I thought it would have been funny if the judge at our wedding said it and then stared at the crowd for a full three minutes.
3) I do not understand why I was completely incapable of writing comedy. But as evidenced by any of Rick’s “goofball antics,” I most assuredly was.
COMING UP NEXT
I didn’t know the word for “reception,” so I called it “The Wedding Party.” This chapter includes: a reference to Mysterious Brother Danny, some trademark Rick goofball antics, and a couple dozen more reasons to loathe Angel. See you next time in …
Chapter 44 – The Wedding Party
Chapter 43 – The Big Day
Angel sat next to Sting in the second pew at St. Joseph’s Church.
“Angel! You look fantastic!” he whispered, taking in Angel’s light blue dress. [did she buy it as part of a matching set with her couch?]
“Thanks! I hardly recognized you in that tux! Pretty spiffy!” she whispered back. [I do hope he’s wearing his facepaint as part of the ensemble.]
Rick and Scott Steiner found Angel and Sting and sat in the row behind them.
“Hey, Angie! Hey Stinger!”
The church was quieted and the organ sounded. Alexandra York, arm in arm with her father, entered. Her dress was exquisite. Pure white with a laced neck and sleeves. A long veil and train trailed behind her. She carried a bouquet of lilacs and baby’s breath that matched her bridesmaids’ gowns perfectly [why, why, why is this the only description of their dresses?]. Her dark-tan skin was glowing, and she was smiling from ear to ear as she approached Dustin. She stepped up to the alter [sic. But when you think about it, it works as a verb too] and turned to face her husband-to-be.
The minister cleared his throat and began.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of this man and woman in holy matrimony. Do you, Alexandra Denise York, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and health, for rich or for poor, to death do you part?”
“I do.”
“And do you, Dustin Matthew Rhodes, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for rich and for poor, to death do you part?”
“I do.”
“Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Dustin didn’t need to be told twice. He kissed her as he had never kissed her before. The church burst into applause. Rick Steiner whistled loudly. Scott elbowed him. Angel giggled.
“You think this is bad—at our sister Crystal’s wedding, he kept asking where to buy peanuts,” Scott said.
Everyone stood as the happy couple made their exit.
NOTES:
1) Alex’s dress: Pure white with a laced neck and sleeves. H A W T. I have an excellent picture of this in my head, but so far I haven’t found anything via google images to match it. Do let me know if any of y’all have any luck.
2) That was the shortest wedding ceremony ever. Not a bad thing. But man, why not the “speak now or forever hold your peace”? Considering the fact that at the time of writing this, the only weddings I’d ever seen were on soap operas, you would think that the Dullexandra nuptials would have been a crazy drama-infested throwdown. Alas. On a related note, has anyone ever been to an actual wedding where they say that “speak now” bit? Slice and I thought it would have been funny if the judge at our wedding said it and then stared at the crowd for a full three minutes.
3) I do not understand why I was completely incapable of writing comedy. But as evidenced by any of Rick’s “goofball antics,” I most assuredly was.
COMING UP NEXT
I didn’t know the word for “reception,” so I called it “The Wedding Party.” This chapter includes: a reference to Mysterious Brother Danny, some trademark Rick goofball antics, and a couple dozen more reasons to loathe Angel. See you next time in …
Chapter 44 – The Wedding Party
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Chapter 41: Dustin's Bachelor Party (Part I)
Welcome, friends. In last week’s thrilling chapter, Violet intercepted mail, Felicia was a Wakefield twin, and we were reminded that Justina Foster exists. This week? FISTICUFFS! Bring it!
Chapter 41: Dustin’s Bachelor Party
Dustin smiled. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been with “all the guys.” Sting, Ricky Steamboat, the Steiners, Ron Simmons, Scorpio, Arn Anderson, and many others were there. The party was in full swing, and Dustin was having the time of his life.
Sting approached him. “Hey, Dustin. How’d things go with Angel?”
“We’re just fine.” [how about you and Alexan … oh, nevermind]
“That’s great.”
Scotty Steiner joined in on this conversation.
“Scotty! How’s it going?” greeted Dustin, giving his friend a pat on the back.
“Great. I feel wonderful not being tied to one woman.” [exactly the thing to say to the groom at a bachelor party]
“You and Marie broke up?”
“Yeah. It’s better this way. It really is.”
“What changed your mind?”
“You mean who changed my mind. It was Angel. She’s great. She convinced me to just let things happen. It’s a fantastic philosophy.” [someone alert Hegel. He’s got competition!]
There was more mixing and mingling, and the general mood of the party was incredibly happy. Everyone was having a terrific time. That is, until an unexpected guest showed up.
The door in Sting’s house banged open and all eyes turned to the disturbance. A tall, lanky figure appeared in the doorway. A glass shattered on the floor. There were a few gasps. [who is it? The Grim Reaper? Elijah the Prophet?] Dustin stepped toward the figure.
“Barry … what the hell are you doing here?” his voice was full of anger and shock.
Barry Windham laughed shortly. “She doesn’t want you, Dustin. She never did. So who’s your best man? I guess it’s not me, eh?” He found this hilarious. He recovered from his giggles quickly. “Oh, my friend, I feel so sorry for you. You think she’s so perfect, don’t you? Wouldn’t you find it interesting to know that yesterday she slept with me in your own bed!”
A deathly silence fell over the group. [what? It’s a room full of testosterone-fueled ‘roidheads. All they’re doing is staring?] Dustin pulled back his fist and punched Barry as hard as he could. [that’s more like it].
“You’re lying! You’re lying!” He shouted, he then proceeded to call Barry every curse he knew. Sting and Rick Steiner each grabbed an arm of Barry and dragged him outside. They threw him into the bed of his pick-up, then returned to the house.
Dustin’s hand was swollen and bleeding. He had a towel wrapped around it. He was silent, but seething.
He stood up.
“Sting, I appreciate you goin’ to all this trouble for me, but … uh … I need to be alone now.” He spoke slowly.
“I understand. You allright?”
Dustin shook his head no.
“You sure you don’t …”
“I’ll be fine. I need to think, talk to Alexandra. Don’t say anythin’ to her, OK?”
Sting nodded. After a chorus of good-byes, Dustin left. He intended to drive all night, then maybe call Alex, but he wasn’t all that surprised when he realized that he had driven to Angel’s house …..
TO BE CONTINUED
NOTES:
1) Of course he drove to Angel’s house. Wouldn’t you?
2) Yay Barry! I’ve missed that cantankerous fellow. Speaking of which, I wish I had given Arn some lines in this chapter.
3) Wait, he drove to Angel’s house? From Sting’s house? Doesn’t Sting live on the beach whereas Angel lives somewhere in Minnesota? How long was he driving? Or did Angel move again?
COMING UP NEXT …
Dustin rings Angel’s doorbell. She answers it. And then … there is … wait for it … wait for it … THAT’S RIGHT, egregious crying! It’s been far, far too long.
Tune in next week for …
Chapter 41: Dustin’s Bachelor Party (Part II)
Chapter 41: Dustin’s Bachelor Party
Dustin smiled. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been with “all the guys.” Sting, Ricky Steamboat, the Steiners, Ron Simmons, Scorpio, Arn Anderson, and many others were there. The party was in full swing, and Dustin was having the time of his life.
Sting approached him. “Hey, Dustin. How’d things go with Angel?”
“We’re just fine.” [how about you and Alexan … oh, nevermind]
“That’s great.”
Scotty Steiner joined in on this conversation.
“Scotty! How’s it going?” greeted Dustin, giving his friend a pat on the back.
“Great. I feel wonderful not being tied to one woman.” [exactly the thing to say to the groom at a bachelor party]
“You and Marie broke up?”
“Yeah. It’s better this way. It really is.”
“What changed your mind?”
“You mean who changed my mind. It was Angel. She’s great. She convinced me to just let things happen. It’s a fantastic philosophy.” [someone alert Hegel. He’s got competition!]
There was more mixing and mingling, and the general mood of the party was incredibly happy. Everyone was having a terrific time. That is, until an unexpected guest showed up.
The door in Sting’s house banged open and all eyes turned to the disturbance. A tall, lanky figure appeared in the doorway. A glass shattered on the floor. There were a few gasps. [who is it? The Grim Reaper? Elijah the Prophet?] Dustin stepped toward the figure.
“Barry … what the hell are you doing here?” his voice was full of anger and shock.
Barry Windham laughed shortly. “She doesn’t want you, Dustin. She never did. So who’s your best man? I guess it’s not me, eh?” He found this hilarious. He recovered from his giggles quickly. “Oh, my friend, I feel so sorry for you. You think she’s so perfect, don’t you? Wouldn’t you find it interesting to know that yesterday she slept with me in your own bed!”
A deathly silence fell over the group. [what? It’s a room full of testosterone-fueled ‘roidheads. All they’re doing is staring?] Dustin pulled back his fist and punched Barry as hard as he could. [that’s more like it].
“You’re lying! You’re lying!” He shouted, he then proceeded to call Barry every curse he knew. Sting and Rick Steiner each grabbed an arm of Barry and dragged him outside. They threw him into the bed of his pick-up, then returned to the house.
Dustin’s hand was swollen and bleeding. He had a towel wrapped around it. He was silent, but seething.
He stood up.
“Sting, I appreciate you goin’ to all this trouble for me, but … uh … I need to be alone now.” He spoke slowly.
“I understand. You allright?”
Dustin shook his head no.
“You sure you don’t …”
“I’ll be fine. I need to think, talk to Alexandra. Don’t say anythin’ to her, OK?”
Sting nodded. After a chorus of good-byes, Dustin left. He intended to drive all night, then maybe call Alex, but he wasn’t all that surprised when he realized that he had driven to Angel’s house …..
TO BE CONTINUED
NOTES:
1) Of course he drove to Angel’s house. Wouldn’t you?
2) Yay Barry! I’ve missed that cantankerous fellow. Speaking of which, I wish I had given Arn some lines in this chapter.
3) Wait, he drove to Angel’s house? From Sting’s house? Doesn’t Sting live on the beach whereas Angel lives somewhere in Minnesota? How long was he driving? Or did Angel move again?
COMING UP NEXT …
Dustin rings Angel’s doorbell. She answers it. And then … there is … wait for it … wait for it … THAT’S RIGHT, egregious crying! It’s been far, far too long.
Tune in next week for …
Chapter 41: Dustin’s Bachelor Party (Part II)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Chapter 39: Dustin and Angel
Sorry again for the delay in getting this chapter out. Now where were we? Ah yes. Just as Angel was about to admit her dirty little secret about lip-smacking with Dustin, Chris announced that he had to jet off to a plot contrivance … er … set of shows in Japan with Bret Hart. Angel reacted to this news by wondering who would be her date to Dustin’s wedding. So no confrontation between Chris and Angel, but how’s about we see what happens when Asstin meet again?
Chapter 39 – Dustin and Angel
It had been three days since Chris had left for Japan. Angel was glad that she had decided not to tell him about Dustin, lest she ruin his trip.
She hadn’t spoken to Dustin since their kiss, and she felt things still needed straightening out. So the next day, she knocked on the “face” dressing room.
“It’s open,” called Sting. [duh? Is the dressing room door ever locked? And has anyone ever knocked on it before?]
Angel entered the room. There were only a couple of guys in the room. Sting, Dustin, Ricky Steamboat, and … Arn Anderson. [WOOO!!]
Sting smiled and greeted Angel, as did Ricky. Before Angel could say hello back, Arn shouted “Well now, whose life have you come to ruin today, you cheap blonde bimbo?”
“Hey, Arn, you’re way out of line,” Dustin said sharply. [let the man speak, Dustin.]
“I’d get better friends if I were you. She’s nothing but a homewrecker,” and with that, he left.
“Where did all of that come from?” asked Ricky.
“He doesn’t like me.” [he can take a number]
“Evidently,” smiled Sting, then he excused himself, followed by Ricky.
“They cleared out fast,” Angel remarked to Dustin.
“They know,” his voice was quiet. “Have a seat.”
She sat next to him. “I told Bobby.”
“Sting thinks that we have something more than friendship.”
“So does Bobby.”
There was a long time of silence, until Angel broke it with a question. “What do you think?”
“I don’t want to agree.”
“But you do?”
“I do.”
“So do I.”
There was another period of silence.
“Dustin, we can push them to the farthest corner of our mind if we try.” [that sounds like a flawless plan, no?]
“I’m going to try it.”
“Me too.”
Another time of quiet.
“We’ll still be friends, won’t we?”
“Of course,” he said.
“It’ll be awkward.”
“We can get over it. We’ve been through too much to throw it away with one little kiss. Angel, I never would have gotten through this year without you.”
There was a rap on the door and Sting’s voice called out “3 minutes, Dustin!”
Angel stood up. “I’m glad everything is allright between us.” [yes. Of course that conversation has fixed everything.]
“Me too. This is my last day wrestling ‘till after my honeymoon.”
“That’s right.” She hugged him. “I’ll seeya at the wedding.” [don’t you think you guys should can it with the hugging?]
NOTES:
1) This had a lot of stupid stuff in it, but this line is the most ridiculous: "We’ve been through too much to throw it away with one little kiss.” – He is talking about him and Angel, not him and his fiancé. WTF?
2) You like how I conveyed awkward silence by writing stuff like “another time of quiet”? Slick!
3) I so wish I had let Arn stay around longer in this chapter. Don’t worry, friends. He’ll be back.
COMING UP NEXT …
We return to the unfurling of Violet’s Evil Plan and meet a brand new, mostly irrelevant character in …
Chapter 40: A New Nurse
Chapter 39 – Dustin and Angel
It had been three days since Chris had left for Japan. Angel was glad that she had decided not to tell him about Dustin, lest she ruin his trip.
She hadn’t spoken to Dustin since their kiss, and she felt things still needed straightening out. So the next day, she knocked on the “face” dressing room.
“It’s open,” called Sting. [duh? Is the dressing room door ever locked? And has anyone ever knocked on it before?]
Angel entered the room. There were only a couple of guys in the room. Sting, Dustin, Ricky Steamboat, and … Arn Anderson. [WOOO!!]
Sting smiled and greeted Angel, as did Ricky. Before Angel could say hello back, Arn shouted “Well now, whose life have you come to ruin today, you cheap blonde bimbo?”
“Hey, Arn, you’re way out of line,” Dustin said sharply. [let the man speak, Dustin.]
“I’d get better friends if I were you. She’s nothing but a homewrecker,” and with that, he left.
“Where did all of that come from?” asked Ricky.
“He doesn’t like me.” [he can take a number]
“Evidently,” smiled Sting, then he excused himself, followed by Ricky.
“They cleared out fast,” Angel remarked to Dustin.
“They know,” his voice was quiet. “Have a seat.”
She sat next to him. “I told Bobby.”
“Sting thinks that we have something more than friendship.”
“So does Bobby.”
There was a long time of silence, until Angel broke it with a question. “What do you think?”
“I don’t want to agree.”
“But you do?”
“I do.”
“So do I.”
There was another period of silence.
“Dustin, we can push them to the farthest corner of our mind if we try.” [that sounds like a flawless plan, no?]
“I’m going to try it.”
“Me too.”
Another time of quiet.
“We’ll still be friends, won’t we?”
“Of course,” he said.
“It’ll be awkward.”
“We can get over it. We’ve been through too much to throw it away with one little kiss. Angel, I never would have gotten through this year without you.”
There was a rap on the door and Sting’s voice called out “3 minutes, Dustin!”
Angel stood up. “I’m glad everything is allright between us.” [yes. Of course that conversation has fixed everything.]
“Me too. This is my last day wrestling ‘till after my honeymoon.”
“That’s right.” She hugged him. “I’ll seeya at the wedding.” [don’t you think you guys should can it with the hugging?]
NOTES:
1) This had a lot of stupid stuff in it, but this line is the most ridiculous: "We’ve been through too much to throw it away with one little kiss.” – He is talking about him and Angel, not him and his fiancé. WTF?
2) You like how I conveyed awkward silence by writing stuff like “another time of quiet”? Slick!
3) I so wish I had let Arn stay around longer in this chapter. Don’t worry, friends. He’ll be back.
COMING UP NEXT …
We return to the unfurling of Violet’s Evil Plan and meet a brand new, mostly irrelevant character in …
Chapter 40: A New Nurse
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Chapter 20: Abandoned
Well, I promised one today and you're getting one today. Hope this doesn't dampen anyone's holiday spirits. Take a deep breath for ...
Chapter 20: Abandoned
Teusday [why couldn’t I spell this word?] came and went. Chris was halfway around the world, and Angel was lonely. First Bobby, then Madusa, now Chris. And if things weren’t bad enough, her other friends, Sting, 2 Cold Scorpio, Ricky Steamboat, and even Dustin seemed to be avoiding her. She would greet Sting in the hall and receive no more than a nod. Her conversations with Ricky were brisk and abrupt, and Scorpio simply ignored her. [anyone here blame them? anyone?]
She did not want to mention any of this to Chris for fear of bringing him down. He was having a great time in Japan, and she wouldn’t want to spoil it for the world.
There was a pretty big card tonight. Sting versus Sid Vicious, Dustin Rhodes versus Rick Rude, and numerous others.
In Sting’s match, he sustained a broken finger. She gave him a splint and wrapped it painstakingly. He muttered a thanks and left quickly.
Through the rest of the night wrestlers who were supposedly her friends continued to avoid her and even give her nasty looks at times.
She was very upset by now. All of her friends were either gone or mad at her for some unknown reason. She couldn’t think of why any of them – much less all of them –could be angry at her. She needed someone to talk to – the only problem was that there was noone she could talk to.
The card ended, and Angel was still clueless as to why the world had it in for her. Figuring she still might have a friend in Dustin, she knocked on his dressing room door.
He opened his door and his expressioned [sic] darkened when he saw her.
“Angel, I’m busy, come back later, OK?”
“Please, Dustin, I need to talk to you.” Tears were close.
He made no reply, only looked away.
“Why is everyone doing this to me?” she cried. Tears slid down her cheeks and she turned away from him. “Why won’t anyone talk to me?” she proceeded to leave but Dustin grabbed her shoulder.
“You really don’t know, do you?”
She shook her head.
“Angel, Marcus told us why you two broke up.”
“What do you mean? You already know how we broke up.” She was confused.
Dustin paused to think.
“What did Marcus tell you?”
“He said that … Oh, Angel, I’m so sorry for believing him.”
“What did he say?” her voice was less kind now, Anger boiled insider of her. She didn’t think she’d ever felt more hate in her life for anyone than she did right now for Marcus [wow].
“Marcus told us that you had broken up with him because you were tired of him and wanted Chris.” [seriously? That was it? Seriously?!?]
“Angel had a feeling that Dustin was softening Marcus’ words.
“Please forgive me, Angel. I never should have believed that you would do something like that. [like what???] Angel, Angel. You Okay?”
“I’m just fine.” She said through clenched teeth. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. “I’m not angry with you, Dustin.” She said noticing Dustin’s look of worry. He eased at her words. “It’s that … that … poor excuse for a human being, Marcus.” [ouch!]
“Calm down, Angel.”
“Calm down!!?!! CALM DOWN! You expect me to calm down after the hell that jerk has put me through?” [Angel said the H word! She must be mad!]
“What’re you doing to do about Marcus?”
“Nothing.”
“What!?!”
“Once Marcus sees that all of my friends and I are together, he’ll know that his plan failed, and anyway, revenge is useless.”
Dustin shook his head. “You’re an incredible lady, Angelica Kerris.” [gak]
Angel smiled faintly. “Thanks, Dustin. But I’ve still got a problem.”
“What?”
“You’re my only friend left in this world.” [overdramatize much?]
“Don’t worry. I’ll fix that. I’ll broadcast your innocence over the radio if I have to.”
In a few hours, Dustin reclaimed all of Angel’s friends for her. She wanted to repay him in some way, but he insisted that she could just call it even for all of the times she had helped him.
NOTES:
1) Oh wow. Wow wow wow wowwity wow wow. WOW.
2) Sid Vicious! Before he was Sid Justice and Sycho Sid. Good times. I remember reading that in his WM 13 match against the Undertaker he crapped his pants. I googled it and found this website. Sooo awesome: http://sidcrapspants.ytmnd.com/
Coming up next …
We revisit Angel’s tortured past in …
Chapter 21: A Surprise
Chapter 20: Abandoned
Teusday [why couldn’t I spell this word?] came and went. Chris was halfway around the world, and Angel was lonely. First Bobby, then Madusa, now Chris. And if things weren’t bad enough, her other friends, Sting, 2 Cold Scorpio, Ricky Steamboat, and even Dustin seemed to be avoiding her. She would greet Sting in the hall and receive no more than a nod. Her conversations with Ricky were brisk and abrupt, and Scorpio simply ignored her. [anyone here blame them? anyone?]
She did not want to mention any of this to Chris for fear of bringing him down. He was having a great time in Japan, and she wouldn’t want to spoil it for the world.
There was a pretty big card tonight. Sting versus Sid Vicious, Dustin Rhodes versus Rick Rude, and numerous others.
In Sting’s match, he sustained a broken finger. She gave him a splint and wrapped it painstakingly. He muttered a thanks and left quickly.
Through the rest of the night wrestlers who were supposedly her friends continued to avoid her and even give her nasty looks at times.
She was very upset by now. All of her friends were either gone or mad at her for some unknown reason. She couldn’t think of why any of them – much less all of them –could be angry at her. She needed someone to talk to – the only problem was that there was noone she could talk to.
The card ended, and Angel was still clueless as to why the world had it in for her. Figuring she still might have a friend in Dustin, she knocked on his dressing room door.
He opened his door and his expressioned [sic] darkened when he saw her.
“Angel, I’m busy, come back later, OK?”
“Please, Dustin, I need to talk to you.” Tears were close.
He made no reply, only looked away.
“Why is everyone doing this to me?” she cried. Tears slid down her cheeks and she turned away from him. “Why won’t anyone talk to me?” she proceeded to leave but Dustin grabbed her shoulder.
“You really don’t know, do you?”
She shook her head.
“Angel, Marcus told us why you two broke up.”
“What do you mean? You already know how we broke up.” She was confused.
Dustin paused to think.
“What did Marcus tell you?”
“He said that … Oh, Angel, I’m so sorry for believing him.”
“What did he say?” her voice was less kind now, Anger boiled insider of her. She didn’t think she’d ever felt more hate in her life for anyone than she did right now for Marcus [wow].
“Marcus told us that you had broken up with him because you were tired of him and wanted Chris.” [seriously? That was it? Seriously?!?]
“Angel had a feeling that Dustin was softening Marcus’ words.
“Please forgive me, Angel. I never should have believed that you would do something like that. [like what???] Angel, Angel. You Okay?”
“I’m just fine.” She said through clenched teeth. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. “I’m not angry with you, Dustin.” She said noticing Dustin’s look of worry. He eased at her words. “It’s that … that … poor excuse for a human being, Marcus.” [ouch!]
“Calm down, Angel.”
“Calm down!!?!! CALM DOWN! You expect me to calm down after the hell that jerk has put me through?” [Angel said the H word! She must be mad!]
“What’re you doing to do about Marcus?”
“Nothing.”
“What!?!”
“Once Marcus sees that all of my friends and I are together, he’ll know that his plan failed, and anyway, revenge is useless.”
Dustin shook his head. “You’re an incredible lady, Angelica Kerris.” [gak]
Angel smiled faintly. “Thanks, Dustin. But I’ve still got a problem.”
“What?”
“You’re my only friend left in this world.” [overdramatize much?]
“Don’t worry. I’ll fix that. I’ll broadcast your innocence over the radio if I have to.”
In a few hours, Dustin reclaimed all of Angel’s friends for her. She wanted to repay him in some way, but he insisted that she could just call it even for all of the times she had helped him.
NOTES:
1) Oh wow. Wow wow wow wowwity wow wow. WOW.
2) Sid Vicious! Before he was Sid Justice and Sycho Sid. Good times. I remember reading that in his WM 13 match against the Undertaker he crapped his pants. I googled it and found this website. Sooo awesome: http://sidcrapspants.ytmnd.com/
Coming up next …
We revisit Angel’s tortured past in …
Chapter 21: A Surprise
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Chapter 11: Rick and Scott's Party
USA had a Monday Night Raw 800th episode special on last night. Good stuff! Got to see clips of all my old faves from back in 1993, not to mention a chance to check out Cody Rhodes. Dustin's little bro has some killer abs, y'all.
Moving right along!
Here comes an amazing display of needless moralizing to what was an audience of uno (me), not to mention another glimpse into the world's lamest party scene ... someone get some milk for Angel's cookies, it's ...
Chapter 14: Rick and Scott's Party
Angel arrived at the party a little after 5:00 PM. She was wearing a wine colored silk blouse and a black miniskirt [WHAT?!? That trollop!]. She pulled her shining hair into a long braid.
Sting greeted her and his eyes lit up when he saw the cookies she'd brought. [ahem]
When she stepped inside, she immediately noticed that it was smaller than the last bash. She knew everyone there, Ricky Steamboat, Dustin Rhodes, Missy Hyatt, and Ron Simmons. "Where are the Steiners?" she asked Sting after greeting everyone.
"In the kitchen. Scotty wanted to use the phone for a sec."
They came out and when they saw her both of their faces shiowed happy recongition.
"Angie! It's been too long!"
"Hi, Ang."
She hugged them both and congratulated them. "Thanks Angie. Speaking of congratulations, did you hear about Dustin?"
Angel nodded. "Isn't it wonderful? I'm so happy for him."
Sting and Missy were chatting while the others were listening to Dustin talk about his fiance [zzzzz]. Rick went over to join them, but Scott said that he wanted to hang back. Angel decided to keep him company.
"Hey, I heard about you and Marcus."
"Who hasn't?" she half-smiled.
"I didn't think he was that sort of person. How are you doing?" he asked as they sat on a couch.
"I'm much better, thanks. I guess I've gotten over it. I'll never forgive him, though. He hurt me pretty bad."
Scott looked down at the floor. Angel touched his huge shoulder lightly.
"Scott, are you allright?" He sat up and nodded. A rap song came on. Angel wrinkled her nose. Scott saw this and smiled. "Don't like rap?"
She shook her head. "I love doo-wop. 'Tonite, Tonite' by the Mello-Kings is my favorite. Or mabye the 5 Satins with 'In the Still of the Night'." [rock on, young me, rock on.]
Scott hung his head again, and then put his face in his hands [here we go!].
"What did I say? What's wrong, Scotty?" she asked gently.
He sat up again, this time drawing in a long breath. He took his face from his hands and apologized. "I'm just having some problems with my girlfriend and 'In the Still of the Nite" by Boyz II Men is our song. Or maybe it's 'was' our song." He drew in another breath.
"If you want to talk to someone about it, I'm here."
"Thanks, Ang. It's easy to talk to a brother like Rick because he's my best friend, but this subject is very hard to discuss with him. I think I do need to talk to you. It's hard to talk to Sting or Dustin because we're so far apart most of the time." [as opposed to Angel, who lives in his garage?]
"Go ahead when you're ready."
"Well this whole fight is about one thing. This may sound silly, but I don't want to have sex until I'm married."
"That's not silly. I feel the same way."
"Really? We're a dying breed, Ang." [maybe because you're not reproducing?]
"I know. I'll respect whatever other people feel, but I suppose I'm kind of old fashioned. It's kind of a morality issue, I guess."
"I sure wish Marie felt that way, you see, every time we start getting a little too far too fast, I'd stop and ask her to slow down. I guess I did that one too many times last night, because she told me I had stepped over the line. Then she screamed at me to get out and leave her forever. I must have sat and cried for six hours last night. I love her so much. Life without her has become unbearable, oh god, here I go again." he said as a tear rolled down hes cheeck. [about time] Angel picked up his hand and squoze it.
"Why can't you talk to your brother about this?"
"Well, he made a mistake a long time ago, and doesn't want his little brother to make the same mistake [huh?]. Every time Marie and I start up, I get one step closer to losing my virginity. If Rick knew that, he'd lose all respect towards me." [!!!]
"Your borther's respect means a lot to you, doesn't it?"
He nodded.
"Scotty, did Marie love you."
"That's what she told me, why?"
"Well, I'll bet she's feeling as sad as you are right now. She was probably upset last night, but deply regretting what she said to you now."
"You really think so?"
"Yes. Love is the strongest force on earth, and you and Marie have plenty of it. You'll pull together."
"Ang, you're an inspiration and a good friend. Thank you." he gave her a hug.
Scotty went over to talk to Dustin. She was about to go join him when Missy Hyatt stopped her. "Hi Missy."
"Hi Angel. Look, I want to apoligize to you. I've been acting pretty rotton to you lately."
"Thanks, Missy. That's allright."
"Can you beileve what that Creep Marcus Bagwell did to us? Got your eyes on anyone else?"
"Not yet."
"Well stay away from Johnny Gunn. He's mine."
"No problem."
"See ya later!" she bubbled.
Wait till Madusa hears this! [hears what?] thought Angel as she walked over to Dustin, Rick, and Scott. They talked for a while, then Dustin had to elave. He said good-bye to everyone and congratulated his friends tha Steiners, who congratulated him back. Soon after that, the party ended. Angel and the Steiners traded phone numbers so they could stay in touch. Sting thanked her for the cookies and she thanked him for inviting her [compelling drama here].
As angel drove home, she felt better than she had felt in a long time. She hoped this happy streak would last.
NOTES
1) Let me just tell you how convinced I was that Boyz II Men's rendition of "In the Still of the Night" was going to get my generation into oldies: super convinced. Oh well. And maybe I'm a curmudgeon, but I still think the 5 Satins' version is better.
2) So apparantly, Scott is of the same mindset as our pristine Angel when it comes to amorous relations. I really don't know who is the most ridiculous when it comes to sex: Angel, Scott, or Rick. Ok, yes I do: it's Rick. Angel's at least got her weird notion of "morality," which makes zero sense to me, because it doesn't seem like her "morality" derives from any sort of religious ideal or, say, the fact that she has some sort of super-communicable STI that can be spread even with condoms. I mean, if you don't want to have sex before you get married, whatever, that's cool, but saying it's because of "morality" really doesn't explain anything, unless, of course, you're 13 and don't know how to understand or express your burgeoning ideas about sexuality, so you make your fan fiction characters equally clueless. Aaaanyhoo, Rick is out of control obsessed with Scott's sex life. Maybe if Scott were, like, a teenager? But they're two grown men! Yikes! WTF is your problem, Rick? You're seriously creepy. Scott, man, make your own decisions!
3) Marie sounds pretty intense. Hmm ... Marie ... where have we heard that name before?????
4) Angel gives the dumbest advice ever. I'm pretty sure you could get more insight from a dollar store greeting card.
5) Why isn't Alex invited to any parties? Or any other girls, for that matter?
Wow. Ok.
So Angel seems like she's in a pretty good place right now. She's getting cried on left and right, she's buried the hatchet with Missy Hyatt. But you know what she's missing? That's right .... lurv! Will she find it when she meets ... Chapter 12 - Bobby's New Partner? Tune in next time to find out!
Moving right along!
Here comes an amazing display of needless moralizing to what was an audience of uno (me), not to mention another glimpse into the world's lamest party scene ... someone get some milk for Angel's cookies, it's ...
Chapter 14: Rick and Scott's Party
Angel arrived at the party a little after 5:00 PM. She was wearing a wine colored silk blouse and a black miniskirt [WHAT?!? That trollop!]. She pulled her shining hair into a long braid.
Sting greeted her and his eyes lit up when he saw the cookies she'd brought. [ahem]
When she stepped inside, she immediately noticed that it was smaller than the last bash. She knew everyone there, Ricky Steamboat, Dustin Rhodes, Missy Hyatt, and Ron Simmons. "Where are the Steiners?" she asked Sting after greeting everyone.
"In the kitchen. Scotty wanted to use the phone for a sec."
They came out and when they saw her both of their faces shiowed happy recongition.
"Angie! It's been too long!"
"Hi, Ang."
She hugged them both and congratulated them. "Thanks Angie. Speaking of congratulations, did you hear about Dustin?"
Angel nodded. "Isn't it wonderful? I'm so happy for him."
Sting and Missy were chatting while the others were listening to Dustin talk about his fiance [zzzzz]. Rick went over to join them, but Scott said that he wanted to hang back. Angel decided to keep him company.
"Hey, I heard about you and Marcus."
"Who hasn't?" she half-smiled.
"I didn't think he was that sort of person. How are you doing?" he asked as they sat on a couch.
"I'm much better, thanks. I guess I've gotten over it. I'll never forgive him, though. He hurt me pretty bad."
Scott looked down at the floor. Angel touched his huge shoulder lightly.
"Scott, are you allright?" He sat up and nodded. A rap song came on. Angel wrinkled her nose. Scott saw this and smiled. "Don't like rap?"
She shook her head. "I love doo-wop. 'Tonite, Tonite' by the Mello-Kings is my favorite. Or mabye the 5 Satins with 'In the Still of the Night'." [rock on, young me, rock on.]
Scott hung his head again, and then put his face in his hands [here we go!].
"What did I say? What's wrong, Scotty?" she asked gently.
He sat up again, this time drawing in a long breath. He took his face from his hands and apologized. "I'm just having some problems with my girlfriend and 'In the Still of the Nite" by Boyz II Men is our song. Or maybe it's 'was' our song." He drew in another breath.
"If you want to talk to someone about it, I'm here."
"Thanks, Ang. It's easy to talk to a brother like Rick because he's my best friend, but this subject is very hard to discuss with him. I think I do need to talk to you. It's hard to talk to Sting or Dustin because we're so far apart most of the time." [as opposed to Angel, who lives in his garage?]
"Go ahead when you're ready."
"Well this whole fight is about one thing. This may sound silly, but I don't want to have sex until I'm married."
"That's not silly. I feel the same way."
"Really? We're a dying breed, Ang." [maybe because you're not reproducing?]
"I know. I'll respect whatever other people feel, but I suppose I'm kind of old fashioned. It's kind of a morality issue, I guess."
"I sure wish Marie felt that way, you see, every time we start getting a little too far too fast, I'd stop and ask her to slow down. I guess I did that one too many times last night, because she told me I had stepped over the line. Then she screamed at me to get out and leave her forever. I must have sat and cried for six hours last night. I love her so much. Life without her has become unbearable, oh god, here I go again." he said as a tear rolled down hes cheeck. [about time] Angel picked up his hand and squoze it.
"Why can't you talk to your brother about this?"
"Well, he made a mistake a long time ago, and doesn't want his little brother to make the same mistake [huh?]. Every time Marie and I start up, I get one step closer to losing my virginity. If Rick knew that, he'd lose all respect towards me." [!!!]
"Your borther's respect means a lot to you, doesn't it?"
He nodded.
"Scotty, did Marie love you."
"That's what she told me, why?"
"Well, I'll bet she's feeling as sad as you are right now. She was probably upset last night, but deply regretting what she said to you now."
"You really think so?"
"Yes. Love is the strongest force on earth, and you and Marie have plenty of it. You'll pull together."
"Ang, you're an inspiration and a good friend. Thank you." he gave her a hug.
Scotty went over to talk to Dustin. She was about to go join him when Missy Hyatt stopped her. "Hi Missy."
"Hi Angel. Look, I want to apoligize to you. I've been acting pretty rotton to you lately."
"Thanks, Missy. That's allright."
"Can you beileve what that Creep Marcus Bagwell did to us? Got your eyes on anyone else?"
"Not yet."
"Well stay away from Johnny Gunn. He's mine."
"No problem."
"See ya later!" she bubbled.
Wait till Madusa hears this! [hears what?] thought Angel as she walked over to Dustin, Rick, and Scott. They talked for a while, then Dustin had to elave. He said good-bye to everyone and congratulated his friends tha Steiners, who congratulated him back. Soon after that, the party ended. Angel and the Steiners traded phone numbers so they could stay in touch. Sting thanked her for the cookies and she thanked him for inviting her [compelling drama here].
As angel drove home, she felt better than she had felt in a long time. She hoped this happy streak would last.
NOTES
1) Let me just tell you how convinced I was that Boyz II Men's rendition of "In the Still of the Night" was going to get my generation into oldies: super convinced. Oh well. And maybe I'm a curmudgeon, but I still think the 5 Satins' version is better.
2) So apparantly, Scott is of the same mindset as our pristine Angel when it comes to amorous relations. I really don't know who is the most ridiculous when it comes to sex: Angel, Scott, or Rick. Ok, yes I do: it's Rick. Angel's at least got her weird notion of "morality," which makes zero sense to me, because it doesn't seem like her "morality" derives from any sort of religious ideal or, say, the fact that she has some sort of super-communicable STI that can be spread even with condoms. I mean, if you don't want to have sex before you get married, whatever, that's cool, but saying it's because of "morality" really doesn't explain anything, unless, of course, you're 13 and don't know how to understand or express your burgeoning ideas about sexuality, so you make your fan fiction characters equally clueless. Aaaanyhoo, Rick is out of control obsessed with Scott's sex life. Maybe if Scott were, like, a teenager? But they're two grown men! Yikes! WTF is your problem, Rick? You're seriously creepy. Scott, man, make your own decisions!
3) Marie sounds pretty intense. Hmm ... Marie ... where have we heard that name before?????
4) Angel gives the dumbest advice ever. I'm pretty sure you could get more insight from a dollar store greeting card.
5) Why isn't Alex invited to any parties? Or any other girls, for that matter?
Wow. Ok.
So Angel seems like she's in a pretty good place right now. She's getting cried on left and right, she's buried the hatchet with Missy Hyatt. But you know what she's missing? That's right .... lurv! Will she find it when she meets ... Chapter 12 - Bobby's New Partner? Tune in next time to find out!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Chapter 8.2: Clash of the Champions II (part 2)
So ... when we last left our distinguished characters, Angel was sitting in her office waiting for men to cry on her and Bobby was severely upset by something he saw in the dressing room. I know y'all have been losing sleep over what that might be ... therefore, I now present to you the thrilling conclusion of Clash of the Champions II ...
"Bobby? You OK"
He took a second to compose himself, but still looked odd. "Yeah," he lied.
During the match Bobyb directed all of his emotions toward his opponent, and tore him apart. After the match and showers, Chris again asked Bobby if he was allright. Bobby hated to lie to a nice guy liek Chris, but he didn't watn to talk to him about it.
The main event was Scott "Flash" Norton agasint Sting [now there's an exciting bout]. After the match, which Sting won, he went to Angel's office. He wasn't hurt, but wanted to ask her something.
"Hey Ang!" he greeted happily.
"Hey Sting, what's up?"
"I've got some awesome news."
"Good, I could use some."
"Something wrong?"
"Ever have one of those days?"
"I've had one too many."
Angel smiled and said "What's the news?"
"You remember Rick and Scott Steiner?"
"Of course."
"They just won the WWF tag belts!"
"That's great! I'm so happy for them. I've gotta call them to congratulate them!"
"No need to. I'm thowing them a party to congratulate them and you there seemed to hit it off pretty well. It's Friday at 5:00 at my house. Can you make it?" [another party that starts before the sun even considers going down.]
"Sure! Want me to bring some cookies?" [NOW it's a party!]
"Would you mind?" his eyes flashed.
"Of course not."
"Thanks a bunch, you know I love them. Hey, I heard about Marcus. I'm sorry. Are you OK?"
"Yeah, I guess I got over it, [already? but you LOVED him!] but thanks for asking."
"Okay. See you then." He gave her a hug and left.
Bobby put his head in his hands and cried softly. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried.
Angel locked up her office and started down the hall. She passed by the "heel" dressing room, she heard a little nosie coming from inside the room. She pushed open the door open a little, and saw Bobby sitting on a folding chair. She knocked softly.
"Bobby? It's Angelica. Are you OK?"
Angelica saw what she assumed to be a nod from Bobby and walked in. She pulled up a folding chair and touched his shoulder. "Bobby? Are you allright?"
He lifted his face from his hands. It was tear-stained but rather pale.
"Is it Arn?" she asked gently.
He nodded. "I overheard him talking to Ric Flair. Arn said that he'd be able to team with Ric as soon as he got rid of me and that it would be no problem becaue he had already started up something between us. How coudl he? The man has got no heart." He put his head down and cried while Angel comforted him. A few minutes later he looked at his watch and said he had to leave. He thanked her.
"Anytime Bobby. Are you OK?"
He nodded and hugged her. This night had been awfully depressing. Her ex-boyfriend had mad a futile attempt to get back together with her, and 2 sets of the world's best friends had broken up. Maybe happier times would be ahead ...
NOTES:
1) That? Seriously? That is what upset Bobby to the point of paleness and tears? That? Wow.
2) So I suppose by this point I accepted that wrestlers did not live in their dressing rooms, as evidenced by the fact that Sting has a house that he repeatedly invites people to, but it still had not quite dawned on me that wrestlers travel a lot and, in fact, are probably not always by their houses. This fact will get even more obvious in upcoming chapters, as we will finally get to see the inside of Angel's house, but for now, all such ridiculousness will have to remain with Sting.
3) Speaking of which, another party at Sting's? I hope this one is more exciting. Maybe he'll get a clown or magician. Cross your fingers for pizza bagels.
Coming up next ...
We've got a good one on the docket here, folks. I don't to give too much away, but let's just say it involves an irrational amount of adjectives and overblown professions of love. And a fantastic outfit description. Tune in next time for ... Chapter 9: The Proposal.
"Bobby? You OK"
He took a second to compose himself, but still looked odd. "Yeah," he lied.
During the match Bobyb directed all of his emotions toward his opponent, and tore him apart. After the match and showers, Chris again asked Bobby if he was allright. Bobby hated to lie to a nice guy liek Chris, but he didn't watn to talk to him about it.
The main event was Scott "Flash" Norton agasint Sting [now there's an exciting bout]. After the match, which Sting won, he went to Angel's office. He wasn't hurt, but wanted to ask her something.
"Hey Ang!" he greeted happily.
"Hey Sting, what's up?"
"I've got some awesome news."
"Good, I could use some."
"Something wrong?"
"Ever have one of those days?"
"I've had one too many."
Angel smiled and said "What's the news?"
"You remember Rick and Scott Steiner?"
"Of course."
"They just won the WWF tag belts!"
"That's great! I'm so happy for them. I've gotta call them to congratulate them!"
"No need to. I'm thowing them a party to congratulate them and you there seemed to hit it off pretty well. It's Friday at 5:00 at my house. Can you make it?" [another party that starts before the sun even considers going down.]
"Sure! Want me to bring some cookies?" [NOW it's a party!]
"Would you mind?" his eyes flashed.
"Of course not."
"Thanks a bunch, you know I love them. Hey, I heard about Marcus. I'm sorry. Are you OK?"
"Yeah, I guess I got over it, [already? but you LOVED him!] but thanks for asking."
"Okay. See you then." He gave her a hug and left.
Bobby put his head in his hands and cried softly. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried.
Angel locked up her office and started down the hall. She passed by the "heel" dressing room, she heard a little nosie coming from inside the room. She pushed open the door open a little, and saw Bobby sitting on a folding chair. She knocked softly.
"Bobby? It's Angelica. Are you OK?"
Angelica saw what she assumed to be a nod from Bobby and walked in. She pulled up a folding chair and touched his shoulder. "Bobby? Are you allright?"
He lifted his face from his hands. It was tear-stained but rather pale.
"Is it Arn?" she asked gently.
He nodded. "I overheard him talking to Ric Flair. Arn said that he'd be able to team with Ric as soon as he got rid of me and that it would be no problem becaue he had already started up something between us. How coudl he? The man has got no heart." He put his head down and cried while Angel comforted him. A few minutes later he looked at his watch and said he had to leave. He thanked her.
"Anytime Bobby. Are you OK?"
He nodded and hugged her. This night had been awfully depressing. Her ex-boyfriend had mad a futile attempt to get back together with her, and 2 sets of the world's best friends had broken up. Maybe happier times would be ahead ...
NOTES:
1) That? Seriously? That is what upset Bobby to the point of paleness and tears? That? Wow.
2) So I suppose by this point I accepted that wrestlers did not live in their dressing rooms, as evidenced by the fact that Sting has a house that he repeatedly invites people to, but it still had not quite dawned on me that wrestlers travel a lot and, in fact, are probably not always by their houses. This fact will get even more obvious in upcoming chapters, as we will finally get to see the inside of Angel's house, but for now, all such ridiculousness will have to remain with Sting.
3) Speaking of which, another party at Sting's? I hope this one is more exciting. Maybe he'll get a clown or magician. Cross your fingers for pizza bagels.
Coming up next ...
We've got a good one on the docket here, folks. I don't to give too much away, but let's just say it involves an irrational amount of adjectives and overblown professions of love. And a fantastic outfit description. Tune in next time for ... Chapter 9: The Proposal.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Chapter 8: Clash of the Champions 2 (part I)
Hey everyone ... I got a new computer ... and this one has two functioning shift keys! What happened to the shift keys on the last computer, you ask? Well, it involves a pressing desire to clean under the keys and an inability to replace all of those keys after satiating that desire. So now I'm typing at more productive speeds now! Hooray!
Anyhoo, back to the crap writing ... I think I need to make a tag for male friend breakups that sound like ending relationships. I'll just call it "guy breakup."
So, here's the first part of the second part of Clash of the Champions 2. Enjoy!
Chapter 8: Clash of the Champions 2 (part 1)
Bobby decided that he had to talk to Angelica about his fight with Arn. It had been one week since their fight, and she had a right to know [why?]. He hoped she didn't take it the wrong way. He loved her too much to wat to see her get hurt.
"Angelica, I need to tell you something." [woah - he's already in her office? what happened to the extended description of him knocking or walking through her "always open door"?)
"Sure, Bobby," said Angel, slightly mystified. They sat on folding chairs in teh back.
"Remember a week ago when you were a little upset about Marcus?"
"Of course."
"Well, Arn saw us and he believed that we were romantically involved. He thought he caught me having an affair."
"That's ridiculous."
"I know, I explained everything to him, but he's so damn stubborn, oh, excuse me" [wait, is he seriously apologizing for saying 'damn'? wow. just ... wow.]
"No problem."
"Anyway, we got into a big fight and he won't talk to me."
"Bobby! That's terrible! It's all my fault."
"Angelica, none of thsi is your fault. If anythi else, this is Arn's fault and no one else's. He's too darn [that's better] narrowminded, but something's gotta be bugging him. In all of the years I've known him, hes never fought wtih me without a motive. There must be something behind this."
When he said that, Angel couldn't help but remember Dustin and Barry. The poor guy. Proposing should've been the happiest event in his life, now a black cloud was smothering out every faint glimmer of joy left in him. His voice had really gotten to her. It was so soft and sad. She just wanted to squeeze him hard and make everything better for him [cue porn music], he deserved the best in the world.
"Angelica, are you allright?" Bobby's quiet voice broke her thoughts.
"Yeah. I'm just ... I'm fine." Bobby opened his mouth, then closed it quickly. He knew Angelica well, and now was clearly not hte time to press. She had looked very distant for a second, and her blue eyes had tears beginning to form in the bottom lids.
"I'm fine." She repeated quickly, noticing his look of deep concern for her. A sudden thought came to her, here she was thinking about poor Dustin, but what about Bobby? "But what about you, Bobby? How are you taking this?"
He sighed. "It's pretty hard on me. with him injured, we don't get together at all, but he was like a part of my family. We were so close. I just hope that this whole thing will blow over. 2 years. That's too much to throw away. If he'd only listen to me! I'm sure we could straighten this whole mes out. It's almost like, you know, he doesn't watn to try to be friends gain. I know that sounds stupid, but it's been nagging me for a while." He looked at his watch. "Sorry, Angelica, I've got a tag match."
"Who are you tag-teaming with?"
"Chris Benoit. He's a nice kid. Thank you, Angelica. I'll see you later." He gave her a hug and left.
Bobby and Chris were passing by the dressing room for the "heels" when Bobby stopped to get soem maore tape for his wrists. When he came back out, his face was drained of all color. The emotions on his face showed sadness, confusion, and above all, anger.
... to be continued ...
Notes:
1) Yes, this chapte features the brief introduction of Chris Benoit ... and again, if it's going to freak you out that he plays a part in this ... you should probably stop reading now. Then again, I assume if you've come along for the ride this far, you're in it for the long haul.
2) Amy: I don't know what's in Arn's future as far as birthday parties go, but I'm just gonna guess that things ain't lookin' good in that department, seeing as how "they don't get together at all." They've been friends for 2 whole years! Come on!
Coming up next ...
What does Bobby see that is so shocking? And how will Angel come to his emotional resuce? Find out next time in ... Chapter 8.2: Clash of the Champions 2 (part 2)!
Anyhoo, back to the crap writing ... I think I need to make a tag for male friend breakups that sound like ending relationships. I'll just call it "guy breakup."
So, here's the first part of the second part of Clash of the Champions 2. Enjoy!
Chapter 8: Clash of the Champions 2 (part 1)
Bobby decided that he had to talk to Angelica about his fight with Arn. It had been one week since their fight, and she had a right to know [why?]. He hoped she didn't take it the wrong way. He loved her too much to wat to see her get hurt.
"Angelica, I need to tell you something." [woah - he's already in her office? what happened to the extended description of him knocking or walking through her "always open door"?)
"Sure, Bobby," said Angel, slightly mystified. They sat on folding chairs in teh back.
"Remember a week ago when you were a little upset about Marcus?"
"Of course."
"Well, Arn saw us and he believed that we were romantically involved. He thought he caught me having an affair."
"That's ridiculous."
"I know, I explained everything to him, but he's so damn stubborn, oh, excuse me" [wait, is he seriously apologizing for saying 'damn'? wow. just ... wow.]
"No problem."
"Anyway, we got into a big fight and he won't talk to me."
"Bobby! That's terrible! It's all my fault."
"Angelica, none of thsi is your fault. If anythi else, this is Arn's fault and no one else's. He's too darn [that's better] narrowminded, but something's gotta be bugging him. In all of the years I've known him, hes never fought wtih me without a motive. There must be something behind this."
When he said that, Angel couldn't help but remember Dustin and Barry. The poor guy. Proposing should've been the happiest event in his life, now a black cloud was smothering out every faint glimmer of joy left in him. His voice had really gotten to her. It was so soft and sad. She just wanted to squeeze him hard and make everything better for him [cue porn music], he deserved the best in the world.
"Angelica, are you allright?" Bobby's quiet voice broke her thoughts.
"Yeah. I'm just ... I'm fine." Bobby opened his mouth, then closed it quickly. He knew Angelica well, and now was clearly not hte time to press. She had looked very distant for a second, and her blue eyes had tears beginning to form in the bottom lids.
"I'm fine." She repeated quickly, noticing his look of deep concern for her. A sudden thought came to her, here she was thinking about poor Dustin, but what about Bobby? "But what about you, Bobby? How are you taking this?"
He sighed. "It's pretty hard on me. with him injured, we don't get together at all, but he was like a part of my family. We were so close. I just hope that this whole thing will blow over. 2 years. That's too much to throw away. If he'd only listen to me! I'm sure we could straighten this whole mes out. It's almost like, you know, he doesn't watn to try to be friends gain. I know that sounds stupid, but it's been nagging me for a while." He looked at his watch. "Sorry, Angelica, I've got a tag match."
"Who are you tag-teaming with?"
"Chris Benoit. He's a nice kid. Thank you, Angelica. I'll see you later." He gave her a hug and left.
Bobby and Chris were passing by the dressing room for the "heels" when Bobby stopped to get soem maore tape for his wrists. When he came back out, his face was drained of all color. The emotions on his face showed sadness, confusion, and above all, anger.
... to be continued ...
Notes:
1) Yes, this chapte features the brief introduction of Chris Benoit ... and again, if it's going to freak you out that he plays a part in this ... you should probably stop reading now. Then again, I assume if you've come along for the ride this far, you're in it for the long haul.
2) Amy: I don't know what's in Arn's future as far as birthday parties go, but I'm just gonna guess that things ain't lookin' good in that department, seeing as how "they don't get together at all." They've been friends for 2 whole years! Come on!
Coming up next ...
What does Bobby see that is so shocking? And how will Angel come to his emotional resuce? Find out next time in ... Chapter 8.2: Clash of the Champions 2 (part 2)!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Chapter 3: Sting’s Party
Welcome back to another action-packed chapter of the life and times of the world's least interesting protagonist. Hold on to your red bell peppers, it's ...
Chapter 3: Sting’s Party
Although Angelica hardly ever fussed about what to wear [which nurse’s uniform is a purer white?], she found herself doing just that now. She had never been on the cutting edge of fashion, she always just bought comfortable clothes she thought looked nice on her. [what an iconoclast]
She finally settled on an apricot tee-shirt with a slight v-neck, and black denim shorts. She tucked the shirt into the shorts and puffed it out. She left on her pair of white open toe sandals and tied her hair into a French braid. [HAWT]
She seldom wore makeup, but when she was little, she had to wear nail polish to stop her from biting her fingernails. Even though she was completely over that habit, Angel still liked to paint her fingernails, and sometimes her toenails too. She removed all of the neon–green nailpolish she had applied on her fingernails and put on some clear. After a final check in her half-length mirror, she was ready to go. [woman, a full-length mirror would have perhaps convinced you to change your shoes, at the very least]
When she arrived at the party, the music was on loud. She wrinkled her nose in distaste. She didn’t like modern music at all [autobiography, here we go]. Doo-wop was her thing. She’d take the Mello-Kings or the Passions over the Red Hot Something Peppers or that guy, Iced Tea, or Lemonade, or whoever.
Sting answered the doorbell. When she looked in she recognized a few faces. Dustin Rhodes, Missy Hyatt, Marc Bagwell, and Ron Simmons. Oh, there was 2 Cold Scorpio!
“Hi Sting!” she said, handing him a box and hugging him.
“Hi Angel. Glad you could make it! What’s in the box?” he inquired, shaking it.
“Chocolate chip cookies. Hope you don’t mind. I baked them this afternoon.”
“Thanks a lot. I’m sure they’re delicious.” He said happily. “You know, I can’t remember the last time I had a home made chocolate chip cookie” [me either. Mmm.]
He led her into the party and introduced her to the people she didn’t know. The last people they came to were Rick and Scott, the Steiner Brothers.
“Rick, Scott, I’d like you to meet a friend of mine, Angelica Kerris, and if you’ll excuse me, the chips need refilling. See ya later.”
“So, Angelica, what do you do in the WCW?” asked Scott.
“I’m a first-aid nurse. I used to work in the WWF, but, uh …. I ran into some …. uh, problems.”
“Got a nickname, Angelica?”
“Angel.”
“Can I call you Angie?” asked Rick.
“Sure.” She said smiling. She looked at them both. She had seen them before, in pictures and on TV, but in person, they were incredible. Scot was tall and very muscular. He had shoulder length brown hair and brown eyes. His older brother, Rick, was a little bit shorter and stouter. He had brown eyes and short brown hair. He had a moustache that extended down to the base of his chin. They were both clad and T-shirts and jeans, but Rick was also wearing one of those headbands that had springy antennae on them. [oh, what a nut!]. Both seemed nice.
Scott thought that Angelica, no, he’d call her Ang, was very pretty, Nice figure, gorgeous blue eyes, beautiful blonde hair. If he didn’t already have a girlfriend …… stop thinking that, Scott, he told himself. Do you want this thing to work out with Marie or not?
Unlike Scott, Rick took his first impressions of people from their personalities. Rick thought that Angie was pretty friendly, although she was a bit … normal. Wait a minute … scratch that …
“Hey, great toenail polish.” He said sincerely.
Quickly, Angel looked down at her feet. She was still wearing her neon green toenail polish! [OMG! party fowl!]
“Oh … uh, thanks. I didn’t quite plan to be wearing it, but thanks anyway.”
“Hey, it’s you, Angie.” He said, laughing.
Scott rolled his eyes. “I’ll see you guys around later.” He said.
“Where ya goin’ Scotty?” asked Rick.
“I’m just gonna mingle for a while” he said, walking away.
“Hey, here comes Dustin!”
Dustin Rhodes walked up to both of them. His blonde hair was combed back. His blue eyes glittered. Jeans and a T-shirt covered his muscular, yet lanky figure.
“Hey Rick, hey Angel.” He gave Rick a quick hug and bent over and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Rick raised his eyebrows. Angel elbowed him and giggled. “I see you two have met.”
“Yeah. Hey, Sorry to cut this conversation short, but I’m gonna find Scott. Catch you guys later.”
“Bye!” said Angel. It was amazing. She had just met him about ten minutes ago and she already felt like an old friend. [huh?]
“Angel, can we go and talk somewhere?”
“Sure, Dustin, is everything ok?”
“Well, not really.” [uh oh … I smell something that rhymes with flegregious flying] They both walked to a couch in a corner away from the loud noise of the party. “You see, I’ve gotta talk about it to someone, or I feel like I’m going to explode. You understand?” They sat down.
“I’ve got the same feelings. So what’s wrong?”
“Well,” he said with a sigh, “You probably know by now that Barry [that’s his tag team partner, Barry Windham] and I have been going through some rough times. We’ve had our share of fights before, and some of them were pretty bad, but we always seemed to bounce back from them. This time, though, we’re not bouncing very well. The fights just get worse and worse. We can hardly look at e ach other without one of us starting something up. It hasn’t gotten physical, but I’m really afraid that one day it might. Barry and I were closer than brothers. I don’t’ want to see our friendship end like this. to think of all the good times we’ve had …” he looked off and his eyes clouded with tears. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Said Angel, putting her hand on his shoulder. “Dustin, your friendship with Barry isn’t over. Something is bound to happen to change things.” She said softly.
“You’re right, Angel, I just hope that that something isn’t bad.” He hugged her and thanked her, and then went off to see if Scorpio wanted to give him that dance lesson he had promised now [good golly]. Somehow, Angel just couldn’t picture Dustin dancing like 2 Cold Scorpio.
Meanwhile, Rick had finally caught up with Scotty. He was in the kitchen, on the telephone. Rick caught up the tail end of their conversation.
“Marie … Marie, stop it! You know how I …. Fine then! Allright … me too … OK bye.”
“You guys get into another fight?” Asked Rick, spring antennae bobbing.
“Yeah” Scott said shaking his head and exhaling in disgust. “I just called her to ask her what time to pick her up and we got into that!”
“What do you mean? What were you two fighting about?”
“Oh nothing that big,” he said quickly.
Angel decided to check out the munchies. She grabbed a red bell pepper stick. They were her favorite veggie. Oh wait, they had seeds. They were a fruit. While she thought about it, Missy Hyatt came up to the table to grab some Chips.
“Hi Missy.” Angel said.
“Oh … hi.” Said an unethused and frosty-sounding Missy Hyatt. She quickly moved away from Angel. Geez! What’s with her? She thought. Marcus was walking towards her.
“Hey, Angel. Come here often?” asked Marc in his rich, melodious voice. She was so beautiful, especially tonight. Her outfit hugged every curve [?!? She’s wearing a t-shirt tucked into black denim shorts!]. Her long legs tapered into white sandals and …
“Hey … nice toenail polish” he said sarcastically.
“Thanks” she said sourly. She looked down at her watch and frowned. “Sorry to cut this short, Marc, but Bill Watts wants me at the Missouri Omni by 7:00 and if I’m gonna make it there, I’d better leave now.”
“Wait—before you go. There’s something I’ve got to give you.”
He drew her near to him and kissed her passionately.
“Bye.” He said.
“See you later!” said Angel. That was one of the most incredible moments of my life, thought Angel as she said goodbye to everyone. Marcus prayed that Missy didn’t see that. She’d kill him! [dunt dunt DUNNNN!]
NOTES:
1) when will Angel stop marveling over the fact that the wrestlers she meets are muscular? They’re EFFING WRESTLERS.
2) Scott has a girlfriend named Marie … hmm … where have we read that name before? Look out, Scott!
3) What kind of a craptacular party was this? There are chips, cookies, and red bell peppers, but no booze. Also, it’s in full swing well before 7 PM? This sounds like a birthday party for … wait for it … a middle schooler. I was so lame that I couldn’t even imagine parties cooler than the ones I’d been to in seventh grade. Actually, now that I think about it, I got invited to some rockin’ bar mitzvahs that put Sting’s fete to shame. Shout out to Adam Glassman … yours was the best. Here’s to hoping that your name is common enough that no one googles you and comes across this page. Potential employers of Adam Glassman, please know that he’s the smartest person I’ve ever met, and you should totally hire him even though he invited the author of this pabulum to his bar mitzvah.
COMING UP NEXT: Angel and Bobby have a hideously boring conversation in which we learn more of her fascinating backstory and she rewrites history a little bit. Dustin treats us to an extended monologue in which he discusses the details of his troubles with Barry. Odds of him holding himself together enough to manage not to cry: 0 to 1. Join us next time for …. Chapter 4: The Omni
Chapter 3: Sting’s Party
Although Angelica hardly ever fussed about what to wear [which nurse’s uniform is a purer white?], she found herself doing just that now. She had never been on the cutting edge of fashion, she always just bought comfortable clothes she thought looked nice on her. [what an iconoclast]
She finally settled on an apricot tee-shirt with a slight v-neck, and black denim shorts. She tucked the shirt into the shorts and puffed it out. She left on her pair of white open toe sandals and tied her hair into a French braid. [HAWT]
She seldom wore makeup, but when she was little, she had to wear nail polish to stop her from biting her fingernails. Even though she was completely over that habit, Angel still liked to paint her fingernails, and sometimes her toenails too. She removed all of the neon–green nailpolish she had applied on her fingernails and put on some clear. After a final check in her half-length mirror, she was ready to go. [woman, a full-length mirror would have perhaps convinced you to change your shoes, at the very least]
When she arrived at the party, the music was on loud. She wrinkled her nose in distaste. She didn’t like modern music at all [autobiography, here we go]. Doo-wop was her thing. She’d take the Mello-Kings or the Passions over the Red Hot Something Peppers or that guy, Iced Tea, or Lemonade, or whoever.
Sting answered the doorbell. When she looked in she recognized a few faces. Dustin Rhodes, Missy Hyatt, Marc Bagwell, and Ron Simmons. Oh, there was 2 Cold Scorpio!
“Hi Sting!” she said, handing him a box and hugging him.
“Hi Angel. Glad you could make it! What’s in the box?” he inquired, shaking it.
“Chocolate chip cookies. Hope you don’t mind. I baked them this afternoon.”
“Thanks a lot. I’m sure they’re delicious.” He said happily. “You know, I can’t remember the last time I had a home made chocolate chip cookie” [me either. Mmm.]
He led her into the party and introduced her to the people she didn’t know. The last people they came to were Rick and Scott, the Steiner Brothers.
“Rick, Scott, I’d like you to meet a friend of mine, Angelica Kerris, and if you’ll excuse me, the chips need refilling. See ya later.”
“So, Angelica, what do you do in the WCW?” asked Scott.
“I’m a first-aid nurse. I used to work in the WWF, but, uh …. I ran into some …. uh, problems.”
“Got a nickname, Angelica?”
“Angel.”
“Can I call you Angie?” asked Rick.
“Sure.” She said smiling. She looked at them both. She had seen them before, in pictures and on TV, but in person, they were incredible. Scot was tall and very muscular. He had shoulder length brown hair and brown eyes. His older brother, Rick, was a little bit shorter and stouter. He had brown eyes and short brown hair. He had a moustache that extended down to the base of his chin. They were both clad and T-shirts and jeans, but Rick was also wearing one of those headbands that had springy antennae on them. [oh, what a nut!]. Both seemed nice.
Scott thought that Angelica, no, he’d call her Ang, was very pretty, Nice figure, gorgeous blue eyes, beautiful blonde hair. If he didn’t already have a girlfriend …… stop thinking that, Scott, he told himself. Do you want this thing to work out with Marie or not?
Unlike Scott, Rick took his first impressions of people from their personalities. Rick thought that Angie was pretty friendly, although she was a bit … normal. Wait a minute … scratch that …
“Hey, great toenail polish.” He said sincerely.
Quickly, Angel looked down at her feet. She was still wearing her neon green toenail polish! [OMG! party fowl!]
“Oh … uh, thanks. I didn’t quite plan to be wearing it, but thanks anyway.”
“Hey, it’s you, Angie.” He said, laughing.
Scott rolled his eyes. “I’ll see you guys around later.” He said.
“Where ya goin’ Scotty?” asked Rick.
“I’m just gonna mingle for a while” he said, walking away.
“Hey, here comes Dustin!”
Dustin Rhodes walked up to both of them. His blonde hair was combed back. His blue eyes glittered. Jeans and a T-shirt covered his muscular, yet lanky figure.
“Hey Rick, hey Angel.” He gave Rick a quick hug and bent over and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Rick raised his eyebrows. Angel elbowed him and giggled. “I see you two have met.”
“Yeah. Hey, Sorry to cut this conversation short, but I’m gonna find Scott. Catch you guys later.”
“Bye!” said Angel. It was amazing. She had just met him about ten minutes ago and she already felt like an old friend. [huh?]
“Angel, can we go and talk somewhere?”
“Sure, Dustin, is everything ok?”
“Well, not really.” [uh oh … I smell something that rhymes with flegregious flying] They both walked to a couch in a corner away from the loud noise of the party. “You see, I’ve gotta talk about it to someone, or I feel like I’m going to explode. You understand?” They sat down.
“I’ve got the same feelings. So what’s wrong?”
“Well,” he said with a sigh, “You probably know by now that Barry [that’s his tag team partner, Barry Windham] and I have been going through some rough times. We’ve had our share of fights before, and some of them were pretty bad, but we always seemed to bounce back from them. This time, though, we’re not bouncing very well. The fights just get worse and worse. We can hardly look at e ach other without one of us starting something up. It hasn’t gotten physical, but I’m really afraid that one day it might. Barry and I were closer than brothers. I don’t’ want to see our friendship end like this. to think of all the good times we’ve had …” he looked off and his eyes clouded with tears. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Said Angel, putting her hand on his shoulder. “Dustin, your friendship with Barry isn’t over. Something is bound to happen to change things.” She said softly.
“You’re right, Angel, I just hope that that something isn’t bad.” He hugged her and thanked her, and then went off to see if Scorpio wanted to give him that dance lesson he had promised now [good golly]. Somehow, Angel just couldn’t picture Dustin dancing like 2 Cold Scorpio.
Meanwhile, Rick had finally caught up with Scotty. He was in the kitchen, on the telephone. Rick caught up the tail end of their conversation.
“Marie … Marie, stop it! You know how I …. Fine then! Allright … me too … OK bye.”
“You guys get into another fight?” Asked Rick, spring antennae bobbing.
“Yeah” Scott said shaking his head and exhaling in disgust. “I just called her to ask her what time to pick her up and we got into that!”
“What do you mean? What were you two fighting about?”
“Oh nothing that big,” he said quickly.
Angel decided to check out the munchies. She grabbed a red bell pepper stick. They were her favorite veggie. Oh wait, they had seeds. They were a fruit. While she thought about it, Missy Hyatt came up to the table to grab some Chips.
“Hi Missy.” Angel said.
“Oh … hi.” Said an unethused and frosty-sounding Missy Hyatt. She quickly moved away from Angel. Geez! What’s with her? She thought. Marcus was walking towards her.
“Hey, Angel. Come here often?” asked Marc in his rich, melodious voice. She was so beautiful, especially tonight. Her outfit hugged every curve [?!? She’s wearing a t-shirt tucked into black denim shorts!]. Her long legs tapered into white sandals and …
“Hey … nice toenail polish” he said sarcastically.
“Thanks” she said sourly. She looked down at her watch and frowned. “Sorry to cut this short, Marc, but Bill Watts wants me at the Missouri Omni by 7:00 and if I’m gonna make it there, I’d better leave now.”
“Wait—before you go. There’s something I’ve got to give you.”
He drew her near to him and kissed her passionately.
“Bye.” He said.
“See you later!” said Angel. That was one of the most incredible moments of my life, thought Angel as she said goodbye to everyone. Marcus prayed that Missy didn’t see that. She’d kill him! [dunt dunt DUNNNN!]
NOTES:
1) when will Angel stop marveling over the fact that the wrestlers she meets are muscular? They’re EFFING WRESTLERS.
2) Scott has a girlfriend named Marie … hmm … where have we read that name before? Look out, Scott!
3) What kind of a craptacular party was this? There are chips, cookies, and red bell peppers, but no booze. Also, it’s in full swing well before 7 PM? This sounds like a birthday party for … wait for it … a middle schooler. I was so lame that I couldn’t even imagine parties cooler than the ones I’d been to in seventh grade. Actually, now that I think about it, I got invited to some rockin’ bar mitzvahs that put Sting’s fete to shame. Shout out to Adam Glassman … yours was the best. Here’s to hoping that your name is common enough that no one googles you and comes across this page. Potential employers of Adam Glassman, please know that he’s the smartest person I’ve ever met, and you should totally hire him even though he invited the author of this pabulum to his bar mitzvah.
COMING UP NEXT: Angel and Bobby have a hideously boring conversation in which we learn more of her fascinating backstory and she rewrites history a little bit. Dustin treats us to an extended monologue in which he discusses the details of his troubles with Barry. Odds of him holding himself together enough to manage not to cry: 0 to 1. Join us next time for …. Chapter 4: The Omni
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Chapter 2: New Friends, New Enemies
I know you’ve all been lying awake at night, minds reeling as you contemplated the life and times of Angel. Well rest easy, friends. My job takes a back seat to …
Chapter 2: New Friends, New Enemies
In her first two weeks at WCW, she had made many friends, as well as a few enemies. Well, not exactly enemies, just people she didn’t quite hit it off with. Barry Windham was one of those people. She guessed that after he had seen her chatting and laughing with Dustin Rhodes, whom he hadn’t been happy with latterly, he branded her by association. She liked Dustin. He was very personable and had a great sense of humor. (he was pretty good looking too!) But she didn’t like him that way. Not really. She had her heart set on Marc Bagwell. Marc was all she had ever hoped for in a man. He was gorgeous, smart, funny, and above all, nice. To Angel, a guy could be the smartest, most handsome comedian on Earth, but if he wasn’t nice, then some other fickle girl could have him. From what she knew, Marcus Alexander Bagwell was nice, honest, compassionate, and drop-dead gorgeous. Okay, so maybe looks did matter a little. But how could any girl refuse those deep pools of brown eyes, that soft brown hair, that fabulous smile, or that terrific muscular body? And best of all, he seemed to like her too. Her other friends in WCW included Madusa Miceli, Bobby Eaton, Sting, and a friend just made recently [was he sculpted out of play-doh?], 2 Cold Scorpio.
She didn’t really get along with Paul Orndorf, Rick Rude, Paul E. Dangerously (all 3 of them were too obnoxious for her) and for some reason, Missy Hyatt just hated her. Angel didn’t really mind that. She thought Missy was an Airhead.
Madusa really became the first girl friend she’d had since she entered wrestling. She had always been surrounded by Men. Sherri had always had ill-tempered mood swings. She had always DESPISED Ms. Elizabeth [really???]. Angel couldn’t remember the last time she had just sat and had some girl talk. She liked Madusa. Angel thought that Madusa was intelligent, nice, and witty. A real breath of fresh air compared to the sometimes stuffy personalities she found in wrestlers [I distinctly remember being proud of that sentence. Wtf does that even mean?]
Bobby Eaton’s personality was so different from his friends. Rick was loud and obnoxious. Van Vader was just plain loud. Arn Anderson didn’t seem to trust her, and Paul was lewd and childish. [they sound like way more fun than any of the drips Angel hangs out with] Bobby, on the other hand, was very quiet and always nice to her. Basically, he was very agreeable, but awfully reserved. She liked him a lot. He was a good friend. His shoulder-length hair was dyed blond and he had dark blue eyes. His best friend Arn seemed to think that there was something between Angel and Bobby besides friendship, but she knew that he was happily married and really didn’t like him like that anyway.
Sting was wild and fun. He loved surfing, outdoor sports [as opposed to foosball?], and parties, in fact, he was throwing a party at his beach house this weekend. He had invited her and all of his friends from WCW, including the Steiner brothers, who had just moved to WWF.
She and 2 Cold Scorpio became friends after Marcus, who was best friends with Scorpio, introduced them. [take a deep breath, folks.] Scorpio had a great sense of humor, a flair for dancing, and street smarts. He never beat around the bush and always had good advice. He was really down to earth and always knew what was going on at all times. He looked an awful lot like Martin Lawrence [he totally does]. Wherever Angel went, she made friends quickly. She didn’t know what she would do without her friends [uhm, in the case of all her BFFs from WWF, totally forget them], and tonight, at Sting’s party, she would have the opportunity to make new ones.
1) The phrase “deep pools of brown eyes” is really kind of gross. I just imagine a vat of eyeballs.
2) Sorry again about 2 Cold Scorpio. In my defense, that was the way his character was portrayed. So first blame the WCW marketing team, then blame me.
Well … now that we have some exciting background information, it’s time to meet a whole ‘nother bunch of new characters! Here is where stuff starts getting good (and by good, I of course mean just terrible) … we get to meet Dustin Rhodes, an effusive hugger, and Rick and Scott Steiner … one of whom is an irrepressible goofball and the other of whom is … oh shoot, you’ll find out soon. I ain’t spoiling one of the stupidest storylines I’ve ever written. BONUS: egregious crying. Yes. At a party. SUPER BONUS: detailed description of the outfit Angel wears to the party. Tune in next time for … Chapter 3: Sting’s Party.
Chapter 2: New Friends, New Enemies
In her first two weeks at WCW, she had made many friends, as well as a few enemies. Well, not exactly enemies, just people she didn’t quite hit it off with. Barry Windham was one of those people. She guessed that after he had seen her chatting and laughing with Dustin Rhodes, whom he hadn’t been happy with latterly, he branded her by association. She liked Dustin. He was very personable and had a great sense of humor. (he was pretty good looking too!) But she didn’t like him that way. Not really. She had her heart set on Marc Bagwell. Marc was all she had ever hoped for in a man. He was gorgeous, smart, funny, and above all, nice. To Angel, a guy could be the smartest, most handsome comedian on Earth, but if he wasn’t nice, then some other fickle girl could have him. From what she knew, Marcus Alexander Bagwell was nice, honest, compassionate, and drop-dead gorgeous. Okay, so maybe looks did matter a little. But how could any girl refuse those deep pools of brown eyes, that soft brown hair, that fabulous smile, or that terrific muscular body? And best of all, he seemed to like her too. Her other friends in WCW included Madusa Miceli, Bobby Eaton, Sting, and a friend just made recently [was he sculpted out of play-doh?], 2 Cold Scorpio.
She didn’t really get along with Paul Orndorf, Rick Rude, Paul E. Dangerously (all 3 of them were too obnoxious for her) and for some reason, Missy Hyatt just hated her. Angel didn’t really mind that. She thought Missy was an Airhead.
Madusa really became the first girl friend she’d had since she entered wrestling. She had always been surrounded by Men. Sherri had always had ill-tempered mood swings. She had always DESPISED Ms. Elizabeth [really???]. Angel couldn’t remember the last time she had just sat and had some girl talk. She liked Madusa. Angel thought that Madusa was intelligent, nice, and witty. A real breath of fresh air compared to the sometimes stuffy personalities she found in wrestlers [I distinctly remember being proud of that sentence. Wtf does that even mean?]
Bobby Eaton’s personality was so different from his friends. Rick was loud and obnoxious. Van Vader was just plain loud. Arn Anderson didn’t seem to trust her, and Paul was lewd and childish. [they sound like way more fun than any of the drips Angel hangs out with] Bobby, on the other hand, was very quiet and always nice to her. Basically, he was very agreeable, but awfully reserved. She liked him a lot. He was a good friend. His shoulder-length hair was dyed blond and he had dark blue eyes. His best friend Arn seemed to think that there was something between Angel and Bobby besides friendship, but she knew that he was happily married and really didn’t like him like that anyway.
Sting was wild and fun. He loved surfing, outdoor sports [as opposed to foosball?], and parties, in fact, he was throwing a party at his beach house this weekend. He had invited her and all of his friends from WCW, including the Steiner brothers, who had just moved to WWF.
She and 2 Cold Scorpio became friends after Marcus, who was best friends with Scorpio, introduced them. [take a deep breath, folks.] Scorpio had a great sense of humor, a flair for dancing, and street smarts. He never beat around the bush and always had good advice. He was really down to earth and always knew what was going on at all times. He looked an awful lot like Martin Lawrence [he totally does]. Wherever Angel went, she made friends quickly. She didn’t know what she would do without her friends [uhm, in the case of all her BFFs from WWF, totally forget them], and tonight, at Sting’s party, she would have the opportunity to make new ones.
1) The phrase “deep pools of brown eyes” is really kind of gross. I just imagine a vat of eyeballs.
2) Sorry again about 2 Cold Scorpio. In my defense, that was the way his character was portrayed. So first blame the WCW marketing team, then blame me.
Well … now that we have some exciting background information, it’s time to meet a whole ‘nother bunch of new characters! Here is where stuff starts getting good (and by good, I of course mean just terrible) … we get to meet Dustin Rhodes, an effusive hugger, and Rick and Scott Steiner … one of whom is an irrepressible goofball and the other of whom is … oh shoot, you’ll find out soon. I ain’t spoiling one of the stupidest storylines I’ve ever written. BONUS: egregious crying. Yes. At a party. SUPER BONUS: detailed description of the outfit Angel wears to the party. Tune in next time for … Chapter 3: Sting’s Party.
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