Dissertation: DONE! That's right, ladies and gents. If all goes well, by this time a week from now, you can call me Dr. Fuzzy Octopus. (note: Please do. It'll make the last 8 years seem somehow worth it.)
Well then ... this calls for a celebration ... and I know just the thing: a 100% Angel-free chapter! Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Enjoy!:
Chapter 64: Violet’s Dilemma
Chris and Angel had split. Angel seemed relatively miserable for a while there, which was, of course, fabulous, but seemed to have bounced back, and that was rather distressing. On top of all of that, Chris had shown little interest in Violet herself, which left Marie feeling bored and slightly offended. There had to be something else she could do. But Chris was not particularly interesting anymore. So instead she decided to go a different route.
And when you really came down to it, she reasoned, why the hell was she interested in Angel’s leftovers? [uhm, because that’s your M.O.?] But … it would be dangerous to keep her too far away. No—best to stay informed. But being Violet wasn’t doing anything for her anymore. Time to go back—if she could.
She laughed at that thought. Of course she could. She was Marie, Nightshade, Violet. Three in one. And she knew who to call.
------------------------
Scott sat in the diner finishing his second cup of coffee. She was late. Of course she was late. What had even possessed him to agree to meet her in the first place? This was completely ridiculous. He signaled to the waitress for the check.
And then she slid into the booth across from him.
“Hey,” she said. “Sorry I’m late. I hit some traffic on the way. Scott … you look good.”
“Thanks. You too.” This was an understatement. She had a new haircut—soft layers that framed her face, [ah, the Rachel] and wore a low-cut black top that made it difficult for Scott to keep his eyes on her face.
“Thanks for meeting me here, Scott. I’m sure your gut told you not to.”
“Hey, when have I ever listened to that? What’s up, Marie?”
“How have you been?”
“Good and bad. You know. You?”
“Same.” The waitress approached with a menu. “I’ll have an earl grey tea and a grilled cheese sandwich,” [mmm, grilled cheese sandwich.] she said, waving the menu away. “Scott, I’m just going to be blunt with you, here. I miss you. I know we had issues, and they were mostly my fault—I know I had a jealous streak—but how could I not be jealous? You are an amazing man, and I was so incredibly lucky to be yours. And I was happier with you than I’ve ever been—and I haven’t been happy since we split. I don’t expect you to just drop everything and be with me now. I just wanted to tell you.”
Scott exhaled and leaned back. “Marie. Wow. That’s … that’s a lot to process. I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything right now, Scott. I just wanted to tell you how I felt.”
“Ok. I appreciate that, Marie.”
The waitress brought her food. She stirred sugar into her tea.
“I dated this one guy a couple months ago. He seemed like a gem, you know? Kind, smart, friendly. Too friendly, turns out.”
“He … cheated on you?”
“Yep,” Marie said, sipping her tea. “Caught him red-handed. Had his tongue down his secretary’s throat.” [how cliché.]
“Yikes. Sorry, Marie.”
“Yeah, thanks.” She dabbed at the corners of her eyes with a napkin. “Guess it happens.”
“You don’t have to tell me that,” Scott said. He folded and unfolded a corner of the placemat. [don’t you love diner placemats? They always have the best local ads on them. This one in my hometown had an ad for laser hair removal that featured the vilest “before” picture ever. It was very appetizing.]
“Scott,” Marie said, reaching for his hand. A bold move, she thought, but what do you know? It worked. He let her hand cover his. “What happened?”
A muscle in his jaw twitched. [Contain the rage, Scott. Contain the rage.] “Same old story. Boy meets girl, falls for girl, girl runs into her ex-boyfriend and screws him.” [LOL. Not.]
“Ouch. Sorry, Scott. You don’t deserve that.”
Scott shrugged and picked up half of Marie’s sandwich. She grinned at him.
“Can I?”
“Scott, would I have ordered your favorite food and not expected you to snatch half of it?” [grilled cheese sandwiches are his favorite food? What about Angel’s cookies?]
He responded by taking a bite. “So what did you to? To your ex?”
“Nothing.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“He had a $200 bottle of scotch that I might have poured down the drain and replaced with apple juice.”
“That’s pretty tame for you.”
“I know. I definitely considered going the Molotov cocktail route with the scotch, but I’ve matured.” She sipped her tea.
“Never thought I’d see the day.”
“Don’t worry, I’ve still got an edge.”
“I’m sure you do.” He ate the rest of her sandwich.
“Hey! You’re paying for that!” she said playfully.
“Maybe I was planning on it anyway, M.” [when did he start calling her that? Or was I suddenly too lazy to write out her whole name?]
Marie smiled.
--------------------
NOTES:
1) What, exactly, was Violet's titular dilemma? She's bored? I guess that's a dilemma. Look, Vi, I don't know if you've read any of the other chapters, but hanging out with Scott is pretty much the opposite of a cure for boredom.
2) How many of you think that Rick was hiding in the booth right behind them, perhaps wearing some sort of inconspicuous disguise, such as a fedora, trenchcoat, and Groucho Marx glasses-nose-eyebrows ensemble?
3) Earl grey tea is what Captain Picard favors. I know this because my brother is quite a fan of Star Trek and any time we are out at a restaurant, he orders "Earl Grey. Hot." in a Captain Picard voice. I guess nerdiness runs in my family. To the best of my knowledge, however, he has never written Star Trek fan fiction.
COMING UP NEXT:
Oh boy! More Chris/Justina/Barry hotel shenanigans. No, not like that.
Chapter 65: Discovery
Showing posts with label Violet Royce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Violet Royce. Show all posts
Friday, March 26, 2010
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Chapter 49: Check
Howdy, friends. It's another scorcher here. Plus it's mosquitoey beyond belief. Yesterday I actually got six mosquito bites while I was sitting on my couch. And yes, my couch is inside.
In other amusing news, my mom called and said that she and my dad want to come and visit Slice and me for our first anniversary. Yeah. I replied: "Do you think you could just let Time rob the marriage of its romance gradually? Why must you hurry it along?" Good ol' parents. They mean well. Even Slice's. Who, incidentally, went into hysterics when we told them that we were going to the beach, because the sun will kill you instantly. I'd suggest that they were vampires, but that would infer that they drink blood, and I'm sure blood is very high in sodium. Maybe if SmartBalance made a blood substitute?
But I digress ... Where were we? Ah, yes. Violet's pawn is just about to take Angel's queen. Bring it!
Chapter 49: Check
The following week was a nightmare for Chris and Angel. They were around each other quite often at work, making for numerous uncomfortable situations. Their conversations were brief and strained, and they made every attempt to avoid each other. Violet, however, was in a better mood than ever, though she too wisely avoided Chris. With any luck, her pawn would be here any day, all thanks to a little bit of intelligent scheming and the reliability of Felicia.
Felicia met Justina’s plane at the airport in San Diego and drove her to the hotel.
“Wow, thanks, Ms. Baigen. Are you this hospitable to all of your new employees?”
“Of course! Company policy. Now, I must be off. Here is your key … Room 302. I believe I’m sure you’ll make a fine costume designer here.”
“Thank you for everything!”
“No problem at all! Be seeing you around.”
They said their goodbyes and Justine retreated to her room. She shook her long coppery curls from their bun and brushed them out [speaking as someone who occasionally has curly hair, this sounds like a recipe for frizz) before deciding to take a shower.
Chris Benoit got into the taxi and told the driver his destination, the San Diego Rialto Hotel. [so we’re back to these weird boutique hotels? And a taxi? That doesn’t sound cost efficient.]
Meanwhile, Justina turned off the shower and wrapped herself in a terrycloth towel. She selected a cool dress made form a light blue cotton and put it on. After drying her hair, she thought better of it and changed into her lavender negligee. It was almost time for bed anyway.
Chris arrived at the hotel and was immediately glad he had his key waiting for him on reserve. There was an enormous line of people waiting to get a room. He picked up the key from the front desk and made his way upstairs to room 302. As he fit the key into the lock, he barely had time to wonder why the lights were on [uhm, because they usually are in a hotel room?] before what he saw shocked his mind into numbness.
NOTES:
1) Is it just me, or is Violet’s Evil Scheme like the evil inverse of Angel’s kind-hearted, tear-inducing plan to reunite Brutus and Laurie? I can promise you that I just thought of this now, and was not going for any sort of literary depth when I wrote it.
2) Look, I can buy that Violet could get Felicia to pick Justina up at the airport and drive her to the hotel. I can even somehow buy the idea that they arranged for Justina and Chris to have the same hotel room. But how the heck did Violet wrangle a job for Justina? Is she sleeping with Ole? (probably) And how did Violet even find out what Justina did for a living? Were there other fake surveys that we were not privy to?
3) Re: Justina’s clothing: She’s alone in a hotel room, ready to settle down for the night. She takes a shower and then puts on a dress? Then changes her mind and puts on lingerie? I don’t know about you, but unless the room temperature was stuck at 40 degrees or the blinds were stuck on wide open, I’d have considered the situation clothing optional. Or, at the very most, I’d have donned an old T-shirt and gym shorts. Oh well.
COMING UP NEXT …
Will Justina’s lavender negligee help bring Violet’s Evil Scheme into fruition? Will I start making appalling single entendres? Will there be a tickle fight? Find out next time in …
Chapter 50: Mate
In other amusing news, my mom called and said that she and my dad want to come and visit Slice and me for our first anniversary. Yeah. I replied: "Do you think you could just let Time rob the marriage of its romance gradually? Why must you hurry it along?" Good ol' parents. They mean well. Even Slice's. Who, incidentally, went into hysterics when we told them that we were going to the beach, because the sun will kill you instantly. I'd suggest that they were vampires, but that would infer that they drink blood, and I'm sure blood is very high in sodium. Maybe if SmartBalance made a blood substitute?
But I digress ... Where were we? Ah, yes. Violet's pawn is just about to take Angel's queen. Bring it!
Chapter 49: Check
The following week was a nightmare for Chris and Angel. They were around each other quite often at work, making for numerous uncomfortable situations. Their conversations were brief and strained, and they made every attempt to avoid each other. Violet, however, was in a better mood than ever, though she too wisely avoided Chris. With any luck, her pawn would be here any day, all thanks to a little bit of intelligent scheming and the reliability of Felicia.
Felicia met Justina’s plane at the airport in San Diego and drove her to the hotel.
“Wow, thanks, Ms. Baigen. Are you this hospitable to all of your new employees?”
“Of course! Company policy. Now, I must be off. Here is your key … Room 302. I believe I’m sure you’ll make a fine costume designer here.”
“Thank you for everything!”
“No problem at all! Be seeing you around.”
They said their goodbyes and Justine retreated to her room. She shook her long coppery curls from their bun and brushed them out [speaking as someone who occasionally has curly hair, this sounds like a recipe for frizz) before deciding to take a shower.
Chris Benoit got into the taxi and told the driver his destination, the San Diego Rialto Hotel. [so we’re back to these weird boutique hotels? And a taxi? That doesn’t sound cost efficient.]
Meanwhile, Justina turned off the shower and wrapped herself in a terrycloth towel. She selected a cool dress made form a light blue cotton and put it on. After drying her hair, she thought better of it and changed into her lavender negligee. It was almost time for bed anyway.
Chris arrived at the hotel and was immediately glad he had his key waiting for him on reserve. There was an enormous line of people waiting to get a room. He picked up the key from the front desk and made his way upstairs to room 302. As he fit the key into the lock, he barely had time to wonder why the lights were on [uhm, because they usually are in a hotel room?] before what he saw shocked his mind into numbness.
NOTES:
1) Is it just me, or is Violet’s Evil Scheme like the evil inverse of Angel’s kind-hearted, tear-inducing plan to reunite Brutus and Laurie? I can promise you that I just thought of this now, and was not going for any sort of literary depth when I wrote it.
2) Look, I can buy that Violet could get Felicia to pick Justina up at the airport and drive her to the hotel. I can even somehow buy the idea that they arranged for Justina and Chris to have the same hotel room. But how the heck did Violet wrangle a job for Justina? Is she sleeping with Ole? (probably) And how did Violet even find out what Justina did for a living? Were there other fake surveys that we were not privy to?
3) Re: Justina’s clothing: She’s alone in a hotel room, ready to settle down for the night. She takes a shower and then puts on a dress? Then changes her mind and puts on lingerie? I don’t know about you, but unless the room temperature was stuck at 40 degrees or the blinds were stuck on wide open, I’d have considered the situation clothing optional. Or, at the very most, I’d have donned an old T-shirt and gym shorts. Oh well.
COMING UP NEXT …
Will Justina’s lavender negligee help bring Violet’s Evil Scheme into fruition? Will I start making appalling single entendres? Will there be a tickle fight? Find out next time in …
Chapter 50: Mate
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Chapter 48: Confession (Part II)
Welcome, welcome, welcome! Well, I’m sure you were all crying buckets all week as you worried yourselves sick over the troubles rocking the S.S. Changel. Therefore, without further ado, I humbly present to you the inconclusive conclusion to Chapter 48.
Huzzah.
Chapter 48 – Confession (Part II)
“Chris?”
“I don’t know, Angel. God knows I want to believe you.” He spun and faced her, face wet with tears. “It hurts, Angel! It hurts that I should even have to think about you and anyone else.”
“I know.”
He walked close to her and locked eyes with her. “Tell me the truth.”
“I swear to you that nothing happened that night. And I swear that I love you, Chris. With all my heart.”
He continued to stare into her red eyes for a long while until he finally said, “I believe you, Angel.”
She closed her eyes and exhaled shakily. “Thank God.”
“But Angel, I don’t think we should see each other for a while. This is too much.”
“What?”
“I don’t know what else to do. We’re no good right now. I think we both need to take a step back and realize what is going on. ‘Cause I sure as hell don’t know now.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I am too. But what’s done is done. The only thing we can do now is hope our future will be brighter.”
“Three weeks. If we can survive that, we can survive anything.” [of course. Three weeks is the ideal amount of time to prove that you can spend a lifetime together]
“That sounds like a good amount of time to me.”
“Chris?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
“Oh, Angel. I love you too. And we can get through this. I know we can.”
“Yeah.”
“I should go now.”
“Ok.” She said softly.
Chris walked towards the door with Angel following close behind. She had no clue as to what to say next.
“Drive safely,” she murmured.
“Sure.” He looked at her for a long time before he closed the door behind him.
Angel expected herself to break down into tears the moment he left, but she didn’t [wtf? Is she feeling a bit off today?] She wanted to talk to someone. She wanted to talk to Bobby. She wanted to talk to … Mr. P, Scott, Rick, Dustin, anyone. [Sure, Dustin would be a capital idea.] The last thing she wanted was to be alone. Her eyes fell on Dustin’s sock. The tears welled in her eyes, but instead of reaching for the box of tissues [why would she have to reach for them? Aren’t they always on her person?], she reached for the telephone. Who should she call? She picked up the receiver and listened to the dial tone. Suddenly, Felicia’s face popped into her head. [She remembered the conversation they had had earlier.
“What the heck,” Angel thought. She dialed Felicia’s number and waited for her to pick up.
“Hello?”
“Felicia?”
“Yes.”
“This is Angelica Kerris.”
“Oh. Hi. What’s up?”
So Angel told her about the entire talk she had just had with Chris, from the moment he stepped into her house to the moment he walked out the door. When she was finished, she breathed a heavy sigh and waited for Felicia to say something. When she finally opened her mouth, Angel was shocked.
“It’s definitely for the better, Angel. You really need to date more people.”
“What?!? I don’t want to date anyone else. I want Chris! I love Chris!”
“Hmm ... what do you think about him dating other women?”
“Why?”
“Oh don’t worry! I’m not interested! I’m engaged! I’m just wondering.”
“Oh. Sorry. Uh … I don’t know, Felicia. It makes me sick to my stomach to even think he’s thinking about anyone else.”
“Were you this jealous when you two were going out?” [Ha! This is like the opposite of AngelSense© Brand advice.]
“I’m not jealous, just worried. And I have reason to be! You were right! He did kiss another woman.”
“Really? Oh, honey, this wasn’t meant to be.”
“You’re sure?”
“Well … give it a few weeks.”
“Okay.”
“Angel, I have to go, sorry.”
“Okay, thanks Felicia.”
“No problem.”
As soon as Angel hung up the phone, Felicia giggled to herself and dialed another number.
“Hello?”
“It’s Felicia.”
“Oh? News?”
“Plenty.” Felicia quickly retold the entire story.
“Perfect!” shouted Violet. “Phase three is in effect as of now. Before you know it, we’ll both have our revenge on Angelica. This was too easy.”
“It’s not over yet.”
“No. But the rest is a snap. We’ll just put the right people in the right places at the right times and let nature run its course. It’s like a giant chess game, really. Angel is the opponent’s king, Chris her loyal Queen, our little redhead the pawn. [what is Felicia? The rook?] And when the pawn takes the Queen the King is wide open for a checkmate. Well done, Felicia.”
NOTES:
1) Phase three is in effect? And a grotesquely overwrought chess metaphor? Egad. This villain talk is getting to be a bit much, even for me.
2) So Felicia also wants revenge on Angel. Because … uhm … of … that thing. That happened. Way back when. You know. That thing.
COMING UP NEXT …
Violet’s Evil Scheme hits the big time. Will Chris take the bait? Will Justina have to fill out any more surveys? Will we get any actual clue as to why Felicia exists? BONUS: outfit description! Join us next time for ...
Chapter 49: Check
Huzzah.
Chapter 48 – Confession (Part II)
“Chris?”
“I don’t know, Angel. God knows I want to believe you.” He spun and faced her, face wet with tears. “It hurts, Angel! It hurts that I should even have to think about you and anyone else.”
“I know.”
He walked close to her and locked eyes with her. “Tell me the truth.”
“I swear to you that nothing happened that night. And I swear that I love you, Chris. With all my heart.”
He continued to stare into her red eyes for a long while until he finally said, “I believe you, Angel.”
She closed her eyes and exhaled shakily. “Thank God.”
“But Angel, I don’t think we should see each other for a while. This is too much.”
“What?”
“I don’t know what else to do. We’re no good right now. I think we both need to take a step back and realize what is going on. ‘Cause I sure as hell don’t know now.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I am too. But what’s done is done. The only thing we can do now is hope our future will be brighter.”
“Three weeks. If we can survive that, we can survive anything.” [of course. Three weeks is the ideal amount of time to prove that you can spend a lifetime together]
“That sounds like a good amount of time to me.”
“Chris?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
“Oh, Angel. I love you too. And we can get through this. I know we can.”
“Yeah.”
“I should go now.”
“Ok.” She said softly.
Chris walked towards the door with Angel following close behind. She had no clue as to what to say next.
“Drive safely,” she murmured.
“Sure.” He looked at her for a long time before he closed the door behind him.
Angel expected herself to break down into tears the moment he left, but she didn’t [wtf? Is she feeling a bit off today?] She wanted to talk to someone. She wanted to talk to Bobby. She wanted to talk to … Mr. P, Scott, Rick, Dustin, anyone. [Sure, Dustin would be a capital idea.] The last thing she wanted was to be alone. Her eyes fell on Dustin’s sock. The tears welled in her eyes, but instead of reaching for the box of tissues [why would she have to reach for them? Aren’t they always on her person?], she reached for the telephone. Who should she call? She picked up the receiver and listened to the dial tone. Suddenly, Felicia’s face popped into her head. [She remembered the conversation they had had earlier.
“What the heck,” Angel thought. She dialed Felicia’s number and waited for her to pick up.
“Hello?”
“Felicia?”
“Yes.”
“This is Angelica Kerris.”
“Oh. Hi. What’s up?”
So Angel told her about the entire talk she had just had with Chris, from the moment he stepped into her house to the moment he walked out the door. When she was finished, she breathed a heavy sigh and waited for Felicia to say something. When she finally opened her mouth, Angel was shocked.
“It’s definitely for the better, Angel. You really need to date more people.”
“What?!? I don’t want to date anyone else. I want Chris! I love Chris!”
“Hmm ... what do you think about him dating other women?”
“Why?”
“Oh don’t worry! I’m not interested! I’m engaged! I’m just wondering.”
“Oh. Sorry. Uh … I don’t know, Felicia. It makes me sick to my stomach to even think he’s thinking about anyone else.”
“Were you this jealous when you two were going out?” [Ha! This is like the opposite of AngelSense© Brand advice.]
“I’m not jealous, just worried. And I have reason to be! You were right! He did kiss another woman.”
“Really? Oh, honey, this wasn’t meant to be.”
“You’re sure?”
“Well … give it a few weeks.”
“Okay.”
“Angel, I have to go, sorry.”
“Okay, thanks Felicia.”
“No problem.”
As soon as Angel hung up the phone, Felicia giggled to herself and dialed another number.
“Hello?”
“It’s Felicia.”
“Oh? News?”
“Plenty.” Felicia quickly retold the entire story.
“Perfect!” shouted Violet. “Phase three is in effect as of now. Before you know it, we’ll both have our revenge on Angelica. This was too easy.”
“It’s not over yet.”
“No. But the rest is a snap. We’ll just put the right people in the right places at the right times and let nature run its course. It’s like a giant chess game, really. Angel is the opponent’s king, Chris her loyal Queen, our little redhead the pawn. [what is Felicia? The rook?] And when the pawn takes the Queen the King is wide open for a checkmate. Well done, Felicia.”
NOTES:
1) Phase three is in effect? And a grotesquely overwrought chess metaphor? Egad. This villain talk is getting to be a bit much, even for me.
2) So Felicia also wants revenge on Angel. Because … uhm … of … that thing. That happened. Way back when. You know. That thing.
COMING UP NEXT …
Violet’s Evil Scheme hits the big time. Will Chris take the bait? Will Justina have to fill out any more surveys? Will we get any actual clue as to why Felicia exists? BONUS: outfit description! Join us next time for ...
Chapter 49: Check
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Chapter 47 - Friendly Advice
Welcome back, compadres. Glad you're here. Before we get to today's chapter, I'd just like to recommend a book: Chris Jericho's autobiography. It was fantastic. For serious. I laughed out loud so much that Slice thought I was exaggerating, but then I read parts aloud to him and he cracked up too. It was funny, exciting, compelling, and inspirational. I mean every one of those words sincerely. Plus, getting a "behind the scenes" scoop makes this stuff I wrote even more ludicrous. Especially the dressing rooms.
Anyhoo ... what's on the docket for today? Ah yes, Chapter 47, in which Angel has a conversation with a fifth-tier character that you assume will be important one day down the line, but I'm just warning you now: don't be so hasty with your assumptions. Enjoy!
Chapter 47 – Friendly Advice
Angel’s office seemed gloomy and quiet. She flicked on the lights, cheering the place up a bit. She looked at her watch nervously. She only [sic] an hour to set up before she would meet Chris at her house. [hold the phone. What is she setting up? Her nurse’s station? Why would she set up and then leave?]
“Hi, Angelica. Can I help?” Asked Felicia, walking through the door.
“Oh, Felicia! Thanks. Could you get the gauze from the storage room?” [is Angel still too traumatized by Marcus and Missy to get it herself?]
“No problem.”
Felicia let the room and walked not to the storage room, but to a little office near the entrance. She knocked twice.
“Who is it?”
“Felicia.”
Violet opened the door and ushered Felicia in.
“Well?”
“She’s in there alone. I’m going ahead with the plan.”
“Remember, she must trust you explicitly.” [what does that mean?]
Felicia put a wisp of fine cornsilk hair behind her ear. “I understand.”
Nurse Baigen reentered Angel’s office with the gauze and wordlessly put it into the grey-green medicine cabinet.
“Thanks,”Angel said. She removed the antibacterial disinfectant spray and cleaned the countertops. [do we really need this level of detail?] She didn’t think she was showing an outward display of any emotion, so it greatly surprised her when Felicia asked her if anything was wrong.
“No. No. why do you ask?”
“You look kinda down.”
“I do?”
“Yes. Very much so. What’s wrong?”
“With me? Absolutely nothing.”
“Ok. Sorry. But if you want to talk …”
“Thanks.”
They continued setting up in silence. A thought popped into Angel’s head. Maybe Felicia had a good idea as to how to break things to Chris. [huh?] She was certainly drawing a blank.
“Actually …”
“Yeah?”
“I could use some advice.”
“Go ahead.”
“Well … you know how I’ve been going out with Chris Benoit?”
“Yeah.”
“I love him with all my heart, but about a month ago, I kissed another guy.”
Felicia, who knew all this already, let her eyes widen in surprise. “No.”
“Yes. I don’t’ know how to break it to him. He said he needed to speak with me badly. I think he found out from someone.”
“Either that or he’s got a secret of his own.”
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe he was in a similar situation.”
“You think so?”
“If you were tempted by someone else, it’s possible.”
“I hadn’t thought about it. What should I say if that’s true?”
“Hmm …” Felicia’s pale forehead wrinkled in thought. “Well, if that is the case … maybe what you two need is a little more time away from each other.”
“What?”
“A test! To see if you really were made for each other!” Her light blue eyes sparkled.
“I don’t understand.” [is this concept that difficult to comprehend? It may not be the best idea ever, but it is clearly and logically worded. It’s not like Felicia just told Angel to spin plates in a panda kayak.]
“Like a trial period … say, three weeks at least. If you can stay faithful for that long, you can get through anything. It worked for me and my boyfriend.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Give it a shot.”
“I don’t know...”
The phone rang, interrupting Angel. As soon as she was about to pick it up, it stopped.
“How odd.”
Felicia agreed, but recognized Violet’s signal. [The signal for what?] She glanced at her watch and gasped. “I’m late for my meeting with Ole! I’m sorry, Angel!”
“It’s alright. Thank you, Felicia.”
“No problem. [twice in one chapter? Is she channeling Alf?] Take my advice.”
“Maybe I will.”
Felicia Baigen rushed through the door, leaving Angelica to turn the idea over in her head. Violet was waiting impatiently in her office.
“Well?”
“It went very well.”
Violet smiled in an evil way. “Good. Now we begin phase two. You know what to do?”
“Yes.”
“Perfect.” This was too sweet!
NOTES
1) Let’s break down Violet’s Evil Scheme thus far, shall we? STEP ONE: pose as a secretary, constantly bump into Chris with top buttons of shirt undone. STEP TWO: try to seduce Chris after colluding with Arn. STEP THREE: Call Chris’s ex-girlfriend and survey her about her dating habits. STEP FOUR: Send Felicia in to tell Angel that she and Chris should have a trial separation. At some point during this scheme, she acquired an office and an evil laugh. And a comic book villain’s vocabulary. “Phase two”???
2) And what was with "the signal"? Violet didn't seem to have any ostensible reason to hail Felicia back into her office. And how did she know Felicia was done giving Evil Advice to Angel?
3) I know I’ve mentioned this before, but why do they need two nurses? Angel really never seems all that busy, unless you count locating gauze or being cried upon.
4) We all know why Violet/Marie/Sunny/Nightshade/Gillian hates Angel, but what is Felicia’s problem with her? Unless she just really enjoys being Vi’s minion. What’s that you say? You assume I’ll explain in future chapters? Well … you just go ahead and hold fast to that assumption.
COMING UP NEXT …
Here it comes, folks: a cavalcade of Changel drama. Boy howdy, it’s dramatic. I don’t want to give too much away, so all I’ll say is that yes, there will be crying. And a sock.
Tune in next week for …
Chapter 48 – Confession (Part I)
Anyhoo ... what's on the docket for today? Ah yes, Chapter 47, in which Angel has a conversation with a fifth-tier character that you assume will be important one day down the line, but I'm just warning you now: don't be so hasty with your assumptions. Enjoy!
Chapter 47 – Friendly Advice
Angel’s office seemed gloomy and quiet. She flicked on the lights, cheering the place up a bit. She looked at her watch nervously. She only [sic] an hour to set up before she would meet Chris at her house. [hold the phone. What is she setting up? Her nurse’s station? Why would she set up and then leave?]
“Hi, Angelica. Can I help?” Asked Felicia, walking through the door.
“Oh, Felicia! Thanks. Could you get the gauze from the storage room?” [is Angel still too traumatized by Marcus and Missy to get it herself?]
“No problem.”
Felicia let the room and walked not to the storage room, but to a little office near the entrance. She knocked twice.
“Who is it?”
“Felicia.”
Violet opened the door and ushered Felicia in.
“Well?”
“She’s in there alone. I’m going ahead with the plan.”
“Remember, she must trust you explicitly.” [what does that mean?]
Felicia put a wisp of fine cornsilk hair behind her ear. “I understand.”
Nurse Baigen reentered Angel’s office with the gauze and wordlessly put it into the grey-green medicine cabinet.
“Thanks,”Angel said. She removed the antibacterial disinfectant spray and cleaned the countertops. [do we really need this level of detail?] She didn’t think she was showing an outward display of any emotion, so it greatly surprised her when Felicia asked her if anything was wrong.
“No. No. why do you ask?”
“You look kinda down.”
“I do?”
“Yes. Very much so. What’s wrong?”
“With me? Absolutely nothing.”
“Ok. Sorry. But if you want to talk …”
“Thanks.”
They continued setting up in silence. A thought popped into Angel’s head. Maybe Felicia had a good idea as to how to break things to Chris. [huh?] She was certainly drawing a blank.
“Actually …”
“Yeah?”
“I could use some advice.”
“Go ahead.”
“Well … you know how I’ve been going out with Chris Benoit?”
“Yeah.”
“I love him with all my heart, but about a month ago, I kissed another guy.”
Felicia, who knew all this already, let her eyes widen in surprise. “No.”
“Yes. I don’t’ know how to break it to him. He said he needed to speak with me badly. I think he found out from someone.”
“Either that or he’s got a secret of his own.”
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe he was in a similar situation.”
“You think so?”
“If you were tempted by someone else, it’s possible.”
“I hadn’t thought about it. What should I say if that’s true?”
“Hmm …” Felicia’s pale forehead wrinkled in thought. “Well, if that is the case … maybe what you two need is a little more time away from each other.”
“What?”
“A test! To see if you really were made for each other!” Her light blue eyes sparkled.
“I don’t understand.” [is this concept that difficult to comprehend? It may not be the best idea ever, but it is clearly and logically worded. It’s not like Felicia just told Angel to spin plates in a panda kayak.]
“Like a trial period … say, three weeks at least. If you can stay faithful for that long, you can get through anything. It worked for me and my boyfriend.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Give it a shot.”
“I don’t know...”
The phone rang, interrupting Angel. As soon as she was about to pick it up, it stopped.
“How odd.”
Felicia agreed, but recognized Violet’s signal. [The signal for what?] She glanced at her watch and gasped. “I’m late for my meeting with Ole! I’m sorry, Angel!”
“It’s alright. Thank you, Felicia.”
“No problem. [twice in one chapter? Is she channeling Alf?] Take my advice.”
“Maybe I will.”
Felicia Baigen rushed through the door, leaving Angelica to turn the idea over in her head. Violet was waiting impatiently in her office.
“Well?”
“It went very well.”
Violet smiled in an evil way. “Good. Now we begin phase two. You know what to do?”
“Yes.”
“Perfect.” This was too sweet!
NOTES
1) Let’s break down Violet’s Evil Scheme thus far, shall we? STEP ONE: pose as a secretary, constantly bump into Chris with top buttons of shirt undone. STEP TWO: try to seduce Chris after colluding with Arn. STEP THREE: Call Chris’s ex-girlfriend and survey her about her dating habits. STEP FOUR: Send Felicia in to tell Angel that she and Chris should have a trial separation. At some point during this scheme, she acquired an office and an evil laugh. And a comic book villain’s vocabulary. “Phase two”???
2) And what was with "the signal"? Violet didn't seem to have any ostensible reason to hail Felicia back into her office. And how did she know Felicia was done giving Evil Advice to Angel?
3) I know I’ve mentioned this before, but why do they need two nurses? Angel really never seems all that busy, unless you count locating gauze or being cried upon.
4) We all know why Violet/Marie/Sunny/Nightshade/Gillian hates Angel, but what is Felicia’s problem with her? Unless she just really enjoys being Vi’s minion. What’s that you say? You assume I’ll explain in future chapters? Well … you just go ahead and hold fast to that assumption.
COMING UP NEXT …
Here it comes, folks: a cavalcade of Changel drama. Boy howdy, it’s dramatic. I don’t want to give too much away, so all I’ll say is that yes, there will be crying. And a sock.
Tune in next week for …
Chapter 48 – Confession (Part I)
Monday, July 20, 2009
Chapter 46 - Scheming
Y’all, I’ve been watching a lot of wrestling lately. It’s awesome. I really missed this stuff. I took a little hiatus after college because it was getting super crappy for a while. I'd pick it up here and there, but hadn't really watched with any sort of consistency until now. Slice was insanely busy at his job a few months ago, which meant lots of awesome TV-watching for me, so I got totally hooked again. I'm such a mark. And next Monday, Shaq is hosting RAW. SHAQ. I love Shaq. I don't even like basketball. But I like this commercial a lot.
Allllright. Where were we? Ah yes. Violet colluded with Arn to inform Chris of Asstin's treachery. Violet then capitalized on Chris's vulnerability by tasting his eardrum. Unfortunately for her, he came to his senses and threw her out of his room. This week: Violet turns to Plan B while drinking an outdated 90's beverage.
Chapter 46 – Scheming
Violet hurled the hotel Bible across the room [see? Eeeeevil.] Stupid blonde bitch [GASP! EEEVIL!] She’s got her boyfriend wrapped around her sweet little finger. Well, that’s alright. Angel might be pretty, but Violet thought she lacked sorely in the brains department. She knew what had to be done. Her trump card had to be played – soon.
Violet picked up the phone and dialed the number she had looked up weeks ago.
“Hello?” A young female voice said.
“Yes, Hello. This is Gillian Carter from Self Magazine. I’m conducting a survey of 18 to 30 year old females and the men they’re interested in. Do you have time for our survey?”
“Well … sure.”
“Great. Could I please have your first name – for reference.”
“Justina.”
“Hi, Justina. Are you currently involved with a member of the opposite sex?”
“Yes, I am.”
“On a scale of one to ten, how serious would you say your relationship is right now?”
“Oh gosh, we just met, really. I’d say about … six and a half.” [6.5? Even though you just met? Well, I suppose that’s an improvement over Angel and Marcus, who went from making googly eyes at each other to being in love in like, fifteen minutes.]
“Is he older or younger than you?”
“He’s a few years older.”
“Would you describe him as a blue-collar or white-collar worker?”
“Ohh … that’s tough. I’m not sure.”
“Well, if you don’t mind answering, what does he do for a living?”
Justina giggled. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me.”
“He’s a professional wrestler. Of all things!”
Violet’s mouth hung open. She recovered quickly. “Oh really? I’m quite a fan of professional wrestling myself. Strictly off the record, of course, anyone I’d know?”
“Well, maybe. Ever hear of the Steiner brothers?”
Violet was struck into silence.
“Ms. Carter?”
“Oh … uh, yes. Yes. I’ve heard of them. I was just stunned. You see, they are my absolute favorite wrestlers on earth! So tell me … which one?”
“Scotty. He’s such a doll.”
Violet cleared her throat. “Well, thank you, Justina, for your time.”
“Oh, sure, no problem.”
They said their good-byes. Violet poured herself a [wait for it! wait for it!] Cappio. They always helped her to think. A plot was being born in her head.
She snickered and took a long sip. Hurt Scott and Angel at the same time. Oh, this would be fun. Maybe then she could have Chris to herself. She actually sort of liked him. Loyal, kind, and adorable. Violets’ snickers [mmm, snickers] turned into gales of laughter. This was too sweet.
NOTES:
1) Well, no one guessed Cappio. Hey, I told you it was a toughie! I'm just glad that there was a youtube clip to prove that I didn't make it up. Never fear, I'll have another contest soon. I've got a burning desire to share my VHS collection with others.
2) Let's review Violet's Evil Scheme as presented in this chapter: she calls Justina and asks her random questions. And ... that's it. What kinds of questions were those? Blue collar or white collar? It's not like Vi knew she was dating Scott Steiner. Let's say hypothetically that instead of dating Scott, Justina was dating a claims adjustor named Todd. How would that information have helped Violet in the slightest? What's that you're saying? Plot contrivance? Oh, yes, that explains everything.
3) Gillian Carter ... yes, that's an X-Files reference. I was an equal-opportunity nerd.
COMING UP NEXT ...
Angel has a stupid conversation with a character I'll be you've already forgotten about and will promptly forget again after the chapter is over. If that doesn't sound exciting, I don't know what does!! Tune in next time for ...
Chapter 47 - Friendly Advice
Allllright. Where were we? Ah yes. Violet colluded with Arn to inform Chris of Asstin's treachery. Violet then capitalized on Chris's vulnerability by tasting his eardrum. Unfortunately for her, he came to his senses and threw her out of his room. This week: Violet turns to Plan B while drinking an outdated 90's beverage.
Chapter 46 – Scheming
Violet hurled the hotel Bible across the room [see? Eeeeevil.] Stupid blonde bitch [GASP! EEEVIL!] She’s got her boyfriend wrapped around her sweet little finger. Well, that’s alright. Angel might be pretty, but Violet thought she lacked sorely in the brains department. She knew what had to be done. Her trump card had to be played – soon.
Violet picked up the phone and dialed the number she had looked up weeks ago.
“Hello?” A young female voice said.
“Yes, Hello. This is Gillian Carter from Self Magazine. I’m conducting a survey of 18 to 30 year old females and the men they’re interested in. Do you have time for our survey?”
“Well … sure.”
“Great. Could I please have your first name – for reference.”
“Justina.”
“Hi, Justina. Are you currently involved with a member of the opposite sex?”
“Yes, I am.”
“On a scale of one to ten, how serious would you say your relationship is right now?”
“Oh gosh, we just met, really. I’d say about … six and a half.” [6.5? Even though you just met? Well, I suppose that’s an improvement over Angel and Marcus, who went from making googly eyes at each other to being in love in like, fifteen minutes.]
“Is he older or younger than you?”
“He’s a few years older.”
“Would you describe him as a blue-collar or white-collar worker?”
“Ohh … that’s tough. I’m not sure.”
“Well, if you don’t mind answering, what does he do for a living?”
Justina giggled. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me.”
“He’s a professional wrestler. Of all things!”
Violet’s mouth hung open. She recovered quickly. “Oh really? I’m quite a fan of professional wrestling myself. Strictly off the record, of course, anyone I’d know?”
“Well, maybe. Ever hear of the Steiner brothers?”
Violet was struck into silence.
“Ms. Carter?”
“Oh … uh, yes. Yes. I’ve heard of them. I was just stunned. You see, they are my absolute favorite wrestlers on earth! So tell me … which one?”
“Scotty. He’s such a doll.”
Violet cleared her throat. “Well, thank you, Justina, for your time.”
“Oh, sure, no problem.”
They said their good-byes. Violet poured herself a [wait for it! wait for it!] Cappio. They always helped her to think. A plot was being born in her head.
She snickered and took a long sip. Hurt Scott and Angel at the same time. Oh, this would be fun. Maybe then she could have Chris to herself. She actually sort of liked him. Loyal, kind, and adorable. Violets’ snickers [mmm, snickers] turned into gales of laughter. This was too sweet.
NOTES:
1) Well, no one guessed Cappio. Hey, I told you it was a toughie! I'm just glad that there was a youtube clip to prove that I didn't make it up. Never fear, I'll have another contest soon. I've got a burning desire to share my VHS collection with others.
2) Let's review Violet's Evil Scheme as presented in this chapter: she calls Justina and asks her random questions. And ... that's it. What kinds of questions were those? Blue collar or white collar? It's not like Vi knew she was dating Scott Steiner. Let's say hypothetically that instead of dating Scott, Justina was dating a claims adjustor named Todd. How would that information have helped Violet in the slightest? What's that you're saying? Plot contrivance? Oh, yes, that explains everything.
3) Gillian Carter ... yes, that's an X-Files reference. I was an equal-opportunity nerd.
COMING UP NEXT ...
Angel has a stupid conversation with a character I'll be you've already forgotten about and will promptly forget again after the chapter is over. If that doesn't sound exciting, I don't know what does!! Tune in next time for ...
Chapter 47 - Friendly Advice
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Chapter 45: No Secrets (Part II)
Quick Note: If you would like to receive an email reminder when this blog is updated and/or don't like RSS feeds, just drop me a line at unabashedlybad at gmail dot com and I'll be happy to keep you in the loop!
Moving right along ...
Welcome, friends and readers. Why not both? Why not "freaders?" I know why not. Because I already overuse the portmanteau to an alarming degree. I flove the portmanteau. It's frawesome. It's portmantastic.
Aaaaanyhoo. Where were we? Ah yes. When we last left our sorry bunch, Chris was sitting in his hotel room, crying (of course). Back in Japan, Arn Anderson had
played a tape of Angel confessing to Bobby that she had kissed Dustin in Topeka. This week: Violet's Evil Scheme continues! Whee!
Chapter 45: No Secrets (Part II)
After brooding for hours on the long plane trip back to the States, Chris checked into the company hotel in Georgia. [so now the company has a hotel? Like a WCW Super 8? Well … at least it’s not a dressing room.] Violet Royce, having met with Arn, knocked on Chris’ door.
“Chris … do you have the … what’s wrong?” she asked, after taking a look at Chris’ face.
“Nothing. Violet, what can I do for you?”
She moved closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“That’s not important anymore. What’s important is you. What’s wrong?”
“Look, Violet … you’re a sweet girl …” He stopped mid-sentence, transfixed by her clear green eyes, so close to his now.
“I can help you forget about whoever hurt you.”
“No …” He came out of his daze momentarily.
“Yes, Chris.” She pulled him towards her.
“I …” Chris began, but his words were cut off as Violet locked her lips to his. They moved over to the bed and fell back on it, still kissing passionately. [dang. That was quick]
“Chris, you need me.” Violet whispered into his ear as he kissed her neck. The she stuck her tongue directly into it. [wtf?]
My God, thought Chris, Angel never does that! [with good reason, no? Am I missing something?] Angel … What am I doing?
Chris jerked his head away from Violet. “Violet, I can’t do this.”
“Yes you can.”
“No.” He got up and grabbed Violet by the shoulders. “Sorry.” He opened the door and shoved Violet out of it.
And now Chris was sitting in a Holiday Inn in St. Paul [is it a WCW brand Holiday Inn?] sobbing and wishing he could turn back time. The phone rang. Chris wiped his eyes and answered it.
“Yeah.”
“Chris?”
“Angelica?”
“Hi. You OK? You sound kinda out of it.”
“No. I’m fine. I just … Angel, I need to talk to you. Badly.”
“About what?”
“No. Not on the phone.” [never a good sign]
“Chris?”
“Please, Angel. Tomorrow at your house, Ok?”
“Yeah, sure. I … uh … I’ll see you then. You sure you’re ok?”
“No. Yeah. I don’t know. But Angel, I’ve gotta go.”
“Allright. I love you.”
He sighed. “I love you too.” Chris hung up before Angel could say anything else. How could he explain to her everything that happened? How could he tell her that he had suspected of her cheating on him with an almost-married man because a man no one should trust had told him so? [well, technically, he had a sketchy audio tape] He didn’t know.
NOTES:
1) The tongue in the ear? Yeah, I don't know. My best explanation is that when I wrote this, I was a rather awkward 14-year-old girl with GIGANTIC glasses, an extremely unflattering haircut, and a strong aversion to pants with zippers and music made before 1968 who watched waaaaaay too much professional wrestling. Yeah, it was a while before I experienced anything resembling a romantic physical interaction. And judging from what I apparantly assumed transpired when one "made out" with a guy, this was probably best for everyone.
2) Oh Chris, you faithless cad. Angel is going to be crushed. She might have kissed Dustin, but you let Violet give you an ear job. [I really wanted to make a pun out of the phrase "aural sex," but I have too much dignity for that.]
3) So Violet/Marie/Nightshade/Sunny is in cahoots with Arn? When did that happen? What a world. Too bad V/M/N/S didn't get to seal the deal. Now I know what you're thinking: (aside from shuddering at the taste of earwax) An evil vixen like Violet can't possibly be satisfied. Don't worry folks, there's more Evil Scheme on the horizon.
COMING UP NEXT:
Violet's Evil Scheme gets even more convoluted. I don't want to give too much away... but it involves her posing as a Self magazine phone survey lady. BONUS: I mention ANOTHER outdated beverage from the early '90's.
BUT WHICH BEVERAGE?
Allright, folks. Let's try something new here. I'm officially holding UnabashedlyBad's first ever CONTEST. (It might also be the last, so enjoy it while you can.)
This one's a toughie. Can you guess which outdated beverage from the early '90's Violet will be drinking in the next chapter? Hint: it is NOT Crystal Pepsi.
If you've got a guess, post it in the comments section. The winner will receive a totally awesome wrestling-related VHS tape from my own personal collection.
And if there is no winner/no guesses, well then, I'll just have to think up a new contest one of these days.
That's it for now! See you next week!
Moving right along ...
Welcome, friends and readers. Why not both? Why not "freaders?" I know why not. Because I already overuse the portmanteau to an alarming degree. I flove the portmanteau. It's frawesome. It's portmantastic.
Aaaaanyhoo. Where were we? Ah yes. When we last left our sorry bunch, Chris was sitting in his hotel room, crying (of course). Back in Japan, Arn Anderson had
played a tape of Angel confessing to Bobby that she had kissed Dustin in Topeka. This week: Violet's Evil Scheme continues! Whee!
Chapter 45: No Secrets (Part II)
After brooding for hours on the long plane trip back to the States, Chris checked into the company hotel in Georgia. [so now the company has a hotel? Like a WCW Super 8? Well … at least it’s not a dressing room.] Violet Royce, having met with Arn, knocked on Chris’ door.
“Chris … do you have the … what’s wrong?” she asked, after taking a look at Chris’ face.
“Nothing. Violet, what can I do for you?”
She moved closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“That’s not important anymore. What’s important is you. What’s wrong?”
“Look, Violet … you’re a sweet girl …” He stopped mid-sentence, transfixed by her clear green eyes, so close to his now.
“I can help you forget about whoever hurt you.”
“No …” He came out of his daze momentarily.
“Yes, Chris.” She pulled him towards her.
“I …” Chris began, but his words were cut off as Violet locked her lips to his. They moved over to the bed and fell back on it, still kissing passionately. [dang. That was quick]
“Chris, you need me.” Violet whispered into his ear as he kissed her neck. The she stuck her tongue directly into it. [wtf?]
My God, thought Chris, Angel never does that! [with good reason, no? Am I missing something?] Angel … What am I doing?
Chris jerked his head away from Violet. “Violet, I can’t do this.”
“Yes you can.”
“No.” He got up and grabbed Violet by the shoulders. “Sorry.” He opened the door and shoved Violet out of it.
And now Chris was sitting in a Holiday Inn in St. Paul [is it a WCW brand Holiday Inn?] sobbing and wishing he could turn back time. The phone rang. Chris wiped his eyes and answered it.
“Yeah.”
“Chris?”
“Angelica?”
“Hi. You OK? You sound kinda out of it.”
“No. I’m fine. I just … Angel, I need to talk to you. Badly.”
“About what?”
“No. Not on the phone.” [never a good sign]
“Chris?”
“Please, Angel. Tomorrow at your house, Ok?”
“Yeah, sure. I … uh … I’ll see you then. You sure you’re ok?”
“No. Yeah. I don’t know. But Angel, I’ve gotta go.”
“Allright. I love you.”
He sighed. “I love you too.” Chris hung up before Angel could say anything else. How could he explain to her everything that happened? How could he tell her that he had suspected of her cheating on him with an almost-married man because a man no one should trust had told him so? [well, technically, he had a sketchy audio tape] He didn’t know.
NOTES:
1) The tongue in the ear? Yeah, I don't know. My best explanation is that when I wrote this, I was a rather awkward 14-year-old girl with GIGANTIC glasses, an extremely unflattering haircut, and a strong aversion to pants with zippers and music made before 1968 who watched waaaaaay too much professional wrestling. Yeah, it was a while before I experienced anything resembling a romantic physical interaction. And judging from what I apparantly assumed transpired when one "made out" with a guy, this was probably best for everyone.
2) Oh Chris, you faithless cad. Angel is going to be crushed. She might have kissed Dustin, but you let Violet give you an ear job. [I really wanted to make a pun out of the phrase "aural sex," but I have too much dignity for that.]
3) So Violet/Marie/Nightshade/Sunny is in cahoots with Arn? When did that happen? What a world. Too bad V/M/N/S didn't get to seal the deal. Now I know what you're thinking: (aside from shuddering at the taste of earwax) An evil vixen like Violet can't possibly be satisfied. Don't worry folks, there's more Evil Scheme on the horizon.
COMING UP NEXT:
Violet's Evil Scheme gets even more convoluted. I don't want to give too much away... but it involves her posing as a Self magazine phone survey lady. BONUS: I mention ANOTHER outdated beverage from the early '90's.
BUT WHICH BEVERAGE?
Allright, folks. Let's try something new here. I'm officially holding UnabashedlyBad's first ever CONTEST. (It might also be the last, so enjoy it while you can.)
This one's a toughie. Can you guess which outdated beverage from the early '90's Violet will be drinking in the next chapter? Hint: it is NOT Crystal Pepsi.
If you've got a guess, post it in the comments section. The winner will receive a totally awesome wrestling-related VHS tape from my own personal collection.
And if there is no winner/no guesses, well then, I'll just have to think up a new contest one of these days.
That's it for now! See you next week!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Chapter 40: A New Nurse
We’ve moved to yet another marble notebook (don’t worry, there’s plenty more), and in this one, I started making notes of when each chapter was written. This particular one was composed on September 14, 1994. That makes me 14. Still technically in middle school, because my junior high went up to 9th grade for some reason, but really, I probably should have known better from here on out. I didn’t. I just kept plugging away. And you, gentle readers, are the beneficiaries. Or something like that.
Moving right along …
Last week, Asstin decided that their friendship was the most powerful force in the universe. This week, Violet’s Evil Scheme starts rolling. Excited? I sure am …
Chapter 40: A New Nurse
Angel had never cared much about her two nurses, Katlin Ross and Leslie Canter [maybe that’s because I promptly forgot that they existed after mentioning them]. So when Leslie decided to quit, Angel’s only worry was who her replacement would be.
Felicia Baigen [name of a boss in Final Fantasy 2, thankyouverymuch] was her name. She was 24, a skilled nurse, and stunning. With her pale blue eyes and size six figure [is she from Sweet Valley?], she looked as if she just stepped off the cover of a magazine. Her chin-length hair was platinum blonde and shone like cornsilk.
She seemed like an okay person to Angel, who was relieved to be rid of that snob Leslie.
Too bad she didn’t realize that there were much better people to wish to be rid of in WCW. [FORESHADOWING!]
------
Violet Royce sat down in her hotel suite and reread the letter she had intercepted from Chris to Angel [intercepted? Was she hiding in a mailbox?] It wasn’t very interesting—mostly about his wrestling matches and how much he missed her, but there was one tidbit of information that could prove useful …
“… Hey, you remember that woman Justina Foster I was telling you about? (I know you’d rather not!) Well, Anyway, she used to work as a seamstress here for All-Japan before she moved back to the states. Cool, huh? (Okay, not to you) …….”
----
Violet couldn’t help but wonder – who was this Justina Foster? Someone Angel would dislike. An ex-girlfriend? Ex-wife? The possibilities were intriguing. Violet would have to find out more.
She very carefully re-glued the steamed-open envelope with the letter in it, but only after jotting down the information about Justina. This would be fun.
-----
Angel finished giving Felicia the grand tour of the nurse’s office in a typical building [huh?]. After meeting the wrestlers on hand (not many of Angel’s friends of course, what with Chris, Bobby, and Dustin all away) Felicia decided to help Angel finish setting up for the night’s matches.
After the long night of work was over, Angel returned home and wrote a letter to Chris. There was only four days left until Dustin’s wedding. She couldn’t wait.
NOTES:
1) Why do they need three nurses? It’s not a hospital. They don’t need to work shifts. There’s like, three hours of matches max. And pretty much all Angel ever does is put gauze on things and let people cry on her. Doesn’t sound too taxing.
2) Hey, Violet: thanks for not making us read that entire letter.
3) Justina Foster! And you thought that was just going to be a random name that I dropped and never picked up again. Well, it still might be. Only one way to find out, folks!
COMING UP NEXT ….
Dustin’s bachelor party! Will there be strippers? Beer? Bell peppers? A fist-fight? No, no, no, YES. That’s right, YES. SWEEEEEEEEET! Tune in next time for …
Chapter 41: Dustin’s Bachelor Party (Part 1)
Moving right along …
Last week, Asstin decided that their friendship was the most powerful force in the universe. This week, Violet’s Evil Scheme starts rolling. Excited? I sure am …
Chapter 40: A New Nurse
Angel had never cared much about her two nurses, Katlin Ross and Leslie Canter [maybe that’s because I promptly forgot that they existed after mentioning them]. So when Leslie decided to quit, Angel’s only worry was who her replacement would be.
Felicia Baigen [name of a boss in Final Fantasy 2, thankyouverymuch] was her name. She was 24, a skilled nurse, and stunning. With her pale blue eyes and size six figure [is she from Sweet Valley?], she looked as if she just stepped off the cover of a magazine. Her chin-length hair was platinum blonde and shone like cornsilk.
She seemed like an okay person to Angel, who was relieved to be rid of that snob Leslie.
Too bad she didn’t realize that there were much better people to wish to be rid of in WCW. [FORESHADOWING!]
------
Violet Royce sat down in her hotel suite and reread the letter she had intercepted from Chris to Angel [intercepted? Was she hiding in a mailbox?] It wasn’t very interesting—mostly about his wrestling matches and how much he missed her, but there was one tidbit of information that could prove useful …
“… Hey, you remember that woman Justina Foster I was telling you about? (I know you’d rather not!) Well, Anyway, she used to work as a seamstress here for All-Japan before she moved back to the states. Cool, huh? (Okay, not to you) …….”
----
Violet couldn’t help but wonder – who was this Justina Foster? Someone Angel would dislike. An ex-girlfriend? Ex-wife? The possibilities were intriguing. Violet would have to find out more.
She very carefully re-glued the steamed-open envelope with the letter in it, but only after jotting down the information about Justina. This would be fun.
-----
Angel finished giving Felicia the grand tour of the nurse’s office in a typical building [huh?]. After meeting the wrestlers on hand (not many of Angel’s friends of course, what with Chris, Bobby, and Dustin all away) Felicia decided to help Angel finish setting up for the night’s matches.
After the long night of work was over, Angel returned home and wrote a letter to Chris. There was only four days left until Dustin’s wedding. She couldn’t wait.
NOTES:
1) Why do they need three nurses? It’s not a hospital. They don’t need to work shifts. There’s like, three hours of matches max. And pretty much all Angel ever does is put gauze on things and let people cry on her. Doesn’t sound too taxing.
2) Hey, Violet: thanks for not making us read that entire letter.
3) Justina Foster! And you thought that was just going to be a random name that I dropped and never picked up again. Well, it still might be. Only one way to find out, folks!
COMING UP NEXT ….
Dustin’s bachelor party! Will there be strippers? Beer? Bell peppers? A fist-fight? No, no, no, YES. That’s right, YES. SWEEEEEEEEET! Tune in next time for …
Chapter 41: Dustin’s Bachelor Party (Part 1)
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Chapter 35: Topeka
Alllllright, ladies and gents. Trouble’s a-brewin’ here, and her name is Violet. And Asstin fans? Stuff is GOING DOWN. I hope no one is scandalized by the salaciousness of …
Chapter 35: Topeka
Chris Benoit opened his dressing room door and started to lace up his boots. He noticed movement in the corner shadows. He flicked on the lights. [he was lacing his boots up in the dark?]
“What the heck are you doing in here?” Chris exclaimed.
Violet stood. “Oh, Chris, I’m sorry! Did I frighten you?”
“No, but what are you doing in here?”
“Stunning Steve told me he’d meet me in here.”
“Austin? What’re you hangin’ around with a creep like that for?”
“I don’t’ know.” Her voice broke and tears spilled over her cheeks. “It’s just … I’ve been so lonely here, and he was so nice to me, and … and …”
Chris sighed. Here we go again. He sat next to Violet and awkwardly touched her shoulder. “C’mon, don’t’ cry, Violet. It’s not so bad. Some girls go good with creeps.”
This made her cry harder.
“Oh, geez. I didn’t mean that. I mean … Oh please don’t cry, Violet.”
She sniffled. Chris glanced down at his watch.
“Violet?”
“Yeah?”
“I hate to do this to you, but I have a match in 3 minutes and the only wrestling gear I have on is half a boot.” [why would you put your boots on before your tights?]
“I’m sorry.”
“Oh, no. No. Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault I’m slow.”
She apologized again anyway, then left.
---------
Dustin Rhodes stooped to enter Angel’s office.
“This doorway is too low.”
“You’re just too tall.”
“Hey Angel.”
“Hey, Dustin.”
“How you doin?”
“I’m OK. You?
“Just peachy.”
“What’s up?” she asked.
“Would you check this out for me?” He gestured towards a spot on his head. Angel pushed his hair away from the spot and saw a huge lump forming [I swear I didn’t mean for any of this to have any sort of erotic subtext. But wow. Or, rather, bow chicka wow wow.]
“Ooh, how’d you do that?”
“I banged my head on one of these stupid doorways.”
Angel reached for an ice pack. She pressed it against Dustin’s head.
He smiled.
“What?”
“You have the same color eyes as me.”
“Hey … you’re right.”
She leaned a little closer to adjust the pack, and it happened. No one planned it, it just happened.
Their lips met. The ice pack fell to the floor with a thud. He put his hand on the small of her back. Suddenly, both of them pulled back as if stung. They both began speaking rapidly at once.
“Oh, Dustin, listen, I …”
“Angelica, this wasn’t …”
“Neither of us meant for this to happen, right?”
“Right.” Dustin said.
“Ohh … I can’t believe what just happened.” Angel wailed.
“Me neither.”
“It was just a mistake, right Dustin? People make mistakes all the time.”
Dustin put his head in his hands [shout out, Anonymoleg!].
“Angel, I’m going to get married in a week and a half! I can’t be … oh, God.” He rose and paced, running his fingers through his hair rapidly. He stopped in the middle of the room and seized the sleeve of Angel’s uniform. “Angel, I love you as a friend and nothing more. What just happened was …”
“Meaningless.” Angel finished.
“Yes.”
“I agree. That’s exactly the way I feel.” She exhaled deeply.
“Ok?”
“Ok.”
“Should we tell …”
Dustin’s question was interrupted by a loud rapping on the door frame.
“Come in.” [come in to what? The door wasn’t closed.]
“Hey, Sunshine.” Chris greeted. “Uhh … bad time?”
“Oh, no. no.” Dustin said. “I was just leaving. See you later.”
“O---K. Something up, Angel-face?”
She avoided his eyes. “No, Chris. Listen, can we talk later, though?”
“Well, Sure. You allright?”
“Yeah. Yeah.”
“If you say so. Busy night?”
“Yeah.” (in more ways than one) [woah! Was that prescient snark?]
“Ok. See you later.”
--------------
NOTES:
1) Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SNAP!!! Violet, you were wasting your efforts. Angel the Virtuous can tank a relationship all on her own.
2) In my experience, denying any feelings that you have for someone after you have “accidentally” kissed ALWAYS works. That’s why all of the relationships I had in college were so healthy.
Hoo boy. Well, I'll bet you'd like a break from all of that intense drama. Ask and ye shall receive, because coming up next is ...
Chapter 36: Bobby and Linda.
Chapter 35: Topeka
Chris Benoit opened his dressing room door and started to lace up his boots. He noticed movement in the corner shadows. He flicked on the lights. [he was lacing his boots up in the dark?]
“What the heck are you doing in here?” Chris exclaimed.
Violet stood. “Oh, Chris, I’m sorry! Did I frighten you?”
“No, but what are you doing in here?”
“Stunning Steve told me he’d meet me in here.”
“Austin? What’re you hangin’ around with a creep like that for?”
“I don’t’ know.” Her voice broke and tears spilled over her cheeks. “It’s just … I’ve been so lonely here, and he was so nice to me, and … and …”
Chris sighed. Here we go again. He sat next to Violet and awkwardly touched her shoulder. “C’mon, don’t’ cry, Violet. It’s not so bad. Some girls go good with creeps.”
This made her cry harder.
“Oh, geez. I didn’t mean that. I mean … Oh please don’t cry, Violet.”
She sniffled. Chris glanced down at his watch.
“Violet?”
“Yeah?”
“I hate to do this to you, but I have a match in 3 minutes and the only wrestling gear I have on is half a boot.” [why would you put your boots on before your tights?]
“I’m sorry.”
“Oh, no. No. Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault I’m slow.”
She apologized again anyway, then left.
---------
Dustin Rhodes stooped to enter Angel’s office.
“This doorway is too low.”
“You’re just too tall.”
“Hey Angel.”
“Hey, Dustin.”
“How you doin?”
“I’m OK. You?
“Just peachy.”
“What’s up?” she asked.
“Would you check this out for me?” He gestured towards a spot on his head. Angel pushed his hair away from the spot and saw a huge lump forming [I swear I didn’t mean for any of this to have any sort of erotic subtext. But wow. Or, rather, bow chicka wow wow.]
“Ooh, how’d you do that?”
“I banged my head on one of these stupid doorways.”
Angel reached for an ice pack. She pressed it against Dustin’s head.
He smiled.
“What?”
“You have the same color eyes as me.”
“Hey … you’re right.”
She leaned a little closer to adjust the pack, and it happened. No one planned it, it just happened.
Their lips met. The ice pack fell to the floor with a thud. He put his hand on the small of her back. Suddenly, both of them pulled back as if stung. They both began speaking rapidly at once.
“Oh, Dustin, listen, I …”
“Angelica, this wasn’t …”
“Neither of us meant for this to happen, right?”
“Right.” Dustin said.
“Ohh … I can’t believe what just happened.” Angel wailed.
“Me neither.”
“It was just a mistake, right Dustin? People make mistakes all the time.”
Dustin put his head in his hands [shout out, Anonymoleg!].
“Angel, I’m going to get married in a week and a half! I can’t be … oh, God.” He rose and paced, running his fingers through his hair rapidly. He stopped in the middle of the room and seized the sleeve of Angel’s uniform. “Angel, I love you as a friend and nothing more. What just happened was …”
“Meaningless.” Angel finished.
“Yes.”
“I agree. That’s exactly the way I feel.” She exhaled deeply.
“Ok?”
“Ok.”
“Should we tell …”
Dustin’s question was interrupted by a loud rapping on the door frame.
“Come in.” [come in to what? The door wasn’t closed.]
“Hey, Sunshine.” Chris greeted. “Uhh … bad time?”
“Oh, no. no.” Dustin said. “I was just leaving. See you later.”
“O---K. Something up, Angel-face?”
She avoided his eyes. “No, Chris. Listen, can we talk later, though?”
“Well, Sure. You allright?”
“Yeah. Yeah.”
“If you say so. Busy night?”
“Yeah.” (in more ways than one) [woah! Was that prescient snark?]
“Ok. See you later.”
--------------
NOTES:
1) Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SNAP!!! Violet, you were wasting your efforts. Angel the Virtuous can tank a relationship all on her own.
2) In my experience, denying any feelings that you have for someone after you have “accidentally” kissed ALWAYS works. That’s why all of the relationships I had in college were so healthy.
Hoo boy. Well, I'll bet you'd like a break from all of that intense drama. Ask and ye shall receive, because coming up next is ...
Chapter 36: Bobby and Linda.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Chapter 33: Turning Up the Heat (Part I)
March Madness is in full swing. You know what that means? That’s right: soap operas on CBS are pre-empted. So where can you turn for maudlin love scenes, unrealistic characters, bizarrely constructed revenge attempts, and plots so thin you can see through them? Here, of course. [No disrespect to CBS soaps. I’ve been watching Guiding Light for 15 years. It’s much better these days than it has been in the past. Even though Reva is pregnant and post-menopausal and has cancer and is on her sixteenth husband, it’s still better than all those times when Reva was Amish and a ghost and a clone and could read minds and fought Nazis by walking through a painting. None of that is made up. But I digress …]. Today at Unabashedly Bad, we begin a new chapter that will be split into three exciting parts. Is that too much for y’all to handle? The suspense begins in …
Chapter 33: Turning up the Heat (part I)
Violet Royce walked brusquely down the hall of the Laurel Heights Civic Center. The night’s main event, Chris Benoit and Bobby Eaton against Ricky Steamboat and Shane Douglas [that’s the main event? Yikes.] had ended in a double countout minutes earlier. Violet stopped around a corner near the “heel” dressing room. She smiled and waited quietly.
Inside the dressing room, Bobby and Chris had just changed into street clothes [shower scene implied, at the very least].
“All ready for your ‘party’ tonight, Bobby?”
“I guess.”
“Well, don’t’ be so enthusiastic, said Chris, dripping with sarcasm [he himself is dripping? Eew.]. “C’mon Bob, lighten up a little. It’ll be fun!”
“Yeah.”
“Angel’s at seven. Don’t forget.” [gasp! A nighttime party? I certainly hope there will be cookies and bell peppers.]
“I won’t.”
Chris gave Bobby a pat on the back and left the room. Bobby sighed. The last thing he wanted to do was have a party.
Violet heard the door creak open. She peered out into the corridor, made sure Chris was the one exiting, and unbuttoned the front of her shirt just a little. [harlot!] She hurried out of her hiding spot and bumped into Chris.
“Oh! I’m so sorry!”
“Violet! We’ve got to stop meeting each other like this!”
Violet laughed.
“I’m sorry to have to leave you so soon, Violet, but I’ve got to talk to someone.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Angelica Kerris. Know her?”
“Uhh … no, sorry.”
“Well, I’m sure she’d love to meet you. All her friends are guys, you know. If she doesn’t make a few more female friends, her membership to the Lorena Bobbit Fan Club will be revoked!” [oh, castration humor!]
Violet laughed as though it were the funniest thing she ever heard.
“Oh, Chris. I’d love to, but I’m in a bit of a rush myself. Ole is expecting me to file some things for him [bow chicka wow wow]. Nice to bump into you again.”
“Literally! You too. Take care.”
They both walked off in different directions. Chris, to Angel’s office. Violet, to the parking lot.
“Hey, Angel-face,” Chris greeted, bouncing into her office.
“Hi, Chris.”
Chris locked his arms around Angel’s waist and kissed her. After a few seconds, Angel pulled away. “Sorry, Chris. If I’m gonna be able to clean up this place and get home before six-thirty, I’d better hurry.”
“Want some help?”
“I’d love some. Thanks.” For the next half-hour, they tidied up the office. [half an hour with two people? WTF did she do in there? Reenact Nickelodeon’s awesome game show Finders Keepers? My mom never liked it when my brother and I tried to play our own home version.]
At six o’clock, they arrived at Angel’s house. From six to six-thirty, they set up for Bobby’s party. After they were done, Chris and Angel kissed for a while. [no time table for that?]
“I’m so worried about Bobby,” said Angel, pulling back from Chris’s lips.
“Why?”
“Oh, Chris, didn’t you see how weird he’s been acting lately?”
Before Chris could reply, the doorbell rang. Angel jumped up to answer it.
“Hi Bobby! Come in!” [It’s Bobby? Wait … where are the other guests? Three people is not a party. It’s three people hanging out in a living room. WTF did Angel have to “set up”? Was there a piñata?]
“Hi Angelica. Hey Chris,” Bobby greeted, stepping into Angel’s house. She hung up his coat.
“Bobby, before we get this party started, you have to talk to us.” She led him to the couch and he sat next to Chris. She sat next to him. “What’s going on with you, Bobby?” she asked.
“I dunno, I guess I’m just going to miss you guys.”
“C’mon Bob. We may be dumb, but we’re not stupid.”
Bobby drew in a long breath. “Linda and I are separating.”
“Oh, Bobby, I’m so sorry.” Angel touched his hand.
“Why? I thought things were going great with you guys,” Chris asked.
“They were.”
“So what happened?”
“It was that goddamned son of a … ‘scuse me.”
Angel dismissed his apology with a wave of her hand. [how benevolent of her]
“It was Anderson.”
“What’d he do?”
“He went up to Linda and convinced her that I was having an affair with you.” He gestured towards Angel with a jerk of his thumb. [not with Chris? But the showering, Bobby … didn’t that mean anything to you?]
To be continued …
NOTES:
1) I don’t know why I titled this chapter “Turning Up the Heat.” I suppose that I initially planned to make it more about Violet’s Evil Plan, but then got sidetracked by this compelling plot about Clippy (tm Carters).
2) Worst. Party. Ever. Sting would be ashamed.
3) Well of course Linda thinks Clippy and Angel are having an affair. Who would trust her husband around Angel, she of the radiant smile and shining hair and scrumtrulescent figure and wondrous heart and never-ending supply of tissues and hugs? I sure wouldn’t.
4) Good ol’ Arn. Pulling a Iago. Let’s cross our fingers that Angel is the Desdemona here instead of Linda. Although maybe I shouldn’t make any references to wife-killing when one of my main characters is … ahh, nevermind. That’s just wrong. And this blog is, if nothing else, a paragon of good taste.
How will Changel react to Bobby’s news? How long will it take before someone starts bawling? Will the party get any better? Will any of the characters make any coffee? All of these questions will be answered in …
Chapter 33: Turning Up the Heat (part II)
Chapter 33: Turning up the Heat (part I)
Violet Royce walked brusquely down the hall of the Laurel Heights Civic Center. The night’s main event, Chris Benoit and Bobby Eaton against Ricky Steamboat and Shane Douglas [that’s the main event? Yikes.] had ended in a double countout minutes earlier. Violet stopped around a corner near the “heel” dressing room. She smiled and waited quietly.
Inside the dressing room, Bobby and Chris had just changed into street clothes [shower scene implied, at the very least].
“All ready for your ‘party’ tonight, Bobby?”
“I guess.”
“Well, don’t’ be so enthusiastic, said Chris, dripping with sarcasm [he himself is dripping? Eew.]. “C’mon Bob, lighten up a little. It’ll be fun!”
“Yeah.”
“Angel’s at seven. Don’t forget.” [gasp! A nighttime party? I certainly hope there will be cookies and bell peppers.]
“I won’t.”
Chris gave Bobby a pat on the back and left the room. Bobby sighed. The last thing he wanted to do was have a party.
Violet heard the door creak open. She peered out into the corridor, made sure Chris was the one exiting, and unbuttoned the front of her shirt just a little. [harlot!] She hurried out of her hiding spot and bumped into Chris.
“Oh! I’m so sorry!”
“Violet! We’ve got to stop meeting each other like this!”
Violet laughed.
“I’m sorry to have to leave you so soon, Violet, but I’ve got to talk to someone.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Angelica Kerris. Know her?”
“Uhh … no, sorry.”
“Well, I’m sure she’d love to meet you. All her friends are guys, you know. If she doesn’t make a few more female friends, her membership to the Lorena Bobbit Fan Club will be revoked!” [oh, castration humor!]
Violet laughed as though it were the funniest thing she ever heard.
“Oh, Chris. I’d love to, but I’m in a bit of a rush myself. Ole is expecting me to file some things for him [bow chicka wow wow]. Nice to bump into you again.”
“Literally! You too. Take care.”
They both walked off in different directions. Chris, to Angel’s office. Violet, to the parking lot.
“Hey, Angel-face,” Chris greeted, bouncing into her office.
“Hi, Chris.”
Chris locked his arms around Angel’s waist and kissed her. After a few seconds, Angel pulled away. “Sorry, Chris. If I’m gonna be able to clean up this place and get home before six-thirty, I’d better hurry.”
“Want some help?”
“I’d love some. Thanks.” For the next half-hour, they tidied up the office. [half an hour with two people? WTF did she do in there? Reenact Nickelodeon’s awesome game show Finders Keepers? My mom never liked it when my brother and I tried to play our own home version.]
At six o’clock, they arrived at Angel’s house. From six to six-thirty, they set up for Bobby’s party. After they were done, Chris and Angel kissed for a while. [no time table for that?]
“I’m so worried about Bobby,” said Angel, pulling back from Chris’s lips.
“Why?”
“Oh, Chris, didn’t you see how weird he’s been acting lately?”
Before Chris could reply, the doorbell rang. Angel jumped up to answer it.
“Hi Bobby! Come in!” [It’s Bobby? Wait … where are the other guests? Three people is not a party. It’s three people hanging out in a living room. WTF did Angel have to “set up”? Was there a piñata?]
“Hi Angelica. Hey Chris,” Bobby greeted, stepping into Angel’s house. She hung up his coat.
“Bobby, before we get this party started, you have to talk to us.” She led him to the couch and he sat next to Chris. She sat next to him. “What’s going on with you, Bobby?” she asked.
“I dunno, I guess I’m just going to miss you guys.”
“C’mon Bob. We may be dumb, but we’re not stupid.”
Bobby drew in a long breath. “Linda and I are separating.”
“Oh, Bobby, I’m so sorry.” Angel touched his hand.
“Why? I thought things were going great with you guys,” Chris asked.
“They were.”
“So what happened?”
“It was that goddamned son of a … ‘scuse me.”
Angel dismissed his apology with a wave of her hand. [how benevolent of her]
“It was Anderson.”
“What’d he do?”
“He went up to Linda and convinced her that I was having an affair with you.” He gestured towards Angel with a jerk of his thumb. [not with Chris? But the showering, Bobby … didn’t that mean anything to you?]
To be continued …
NOTES:
1) I don’t know why I titled this chapter “Turning Up the Heat.” I suppose that I initially planned to make it more about Violet’s Evil Plan, but then got sidetracked by this compelling plot about Clippy (tm Carters).
2) Worst. Party. Ever. Sting would be ashamed.
3) Well of course Linda thinks Clippy and Angel are having an affair. Who would trust her husband around Angel, she of the radiant smile and shining hair and scrumtrulescent figure and wondrous heart and never-ending supply of tissues and hugs? I sure wouldn’t.
4) Good ol’ Arn. Pulling a Iago. Let’s cross our fingers that Angel is the Desdemona here instead of Linda. Although maybe I shouldn’t make any references to wife-killing when one of my main characters is … ahh, nevermind. That’s just wrong. And this blog is, if nothing else, a paragon of good taste.
How will Changel react to Bobby’s news? How long will it take before someone starts bawling? Will the party get any better? Will any of the characters make any coffee? All of these questions will be answered in …
Chapter 33: Turning Up the Heat (part II)
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Chapter 31: Revenge Begins
I’m typing this one outside because last night my dog ate half a bag of hershey’s kisses, wrappers and all, and I figure if they’re coming out, better for that not to be on our living room rug. The upside: it’s gorgeous out here. The downside: Slice is a novice composter and there’s a Tupperware full of rotting vegetables on the deck. It reeks.
Special shout out to all my readers, frequent commenters and lurkers alike. I just want to say that I appreciate all of y’all/youse guys. So hey out there in Naples, San Francisco, San Antonio, Irving, DC, Glenshaw, Houston, Nashville, Allentown, Chapel Hill, and anywhere else I’m not mentioning. Whether I know you personally or not, I’m super duper psyched that you’re reading, and I hope you’re having as much fun as I am.
Anyhoo … someone tell Angel to watch her back. A devious plot begins to unfold in …
Chapter 31 – Revenge Begins
Chris walked down the narrow corridor of Atlanta’s Omni, whistling an unidentifiable tune. His mind was off somewhere in space, so he didn’t notice the woman walking hurriedly in the other direction.
“Oh!” the woman exclaimed as they collided. Her papers spilled on the floor.
“I’m so sorry. I was kind of lost in thoughts,” Chris admitted, helping her scoop up the papers.
“I was a bit lost myself,” she said sheepishly.
Chris looked up at her. Her jet black hair was tied at the nape of her neck into a tight bun. Emerald eyes sparkled behind wire-rimmed glasses. [black hair and green eyes? Uh-oh. That can only mean one person. But glasses are a good disguise.] She was dressed in a dark linen skirt and top.
“I’m Violet Royce,” she greeted, offering her hand to Chris.
“Chris Benoit.”
“Nice to meet you, Chris. Maybe you can help me. Where is Ole Anderson’s office?” [why would he have an office at the arena?]
“I’ll walk you there.”
“Thank you.”
They started off into the direction of the office.
“So, what do you do here?” Chris asked.
“I’m a secretary for Ole. This is my first day.” [so my female characters consist of a nurse and a secretary. Nice.]
“Maybe I can show you around later.”
“I’d like that,” she smiled broadly.
Violet laughed to herself. This would be easier than she thought. [I dunno, Vi. It’s going to be tough to top Miss Elizabeth’s scheme.]
-----
“So the snail drives by and a guy says, ‘Hey! Look at that S car go!!’ Get it?” Angel finished her joke with a flourish.
Bobby smiled weakly.
“Oh, come on, Bobby. That at least deserved a groan!”
He shook his head silently. Angel hopped up on the cot next to him. She spoke gently. “Hey Bobby, you’ve been quiet all week. What’s up?”
“Nothing.”
Angel sighed. “Oh Bobby, you know I don’t believe that.”
He shrugged.
“I understand if you don’t want to talk.”
He nodded.
“You know where to find me if you change your mind.”
Another nod. Angel looked at her best friend for a long time. Seeing him like this really made her depressed. On an impulse, she threw her arms around him in a tight embrace. [Impulse? Hugs are the bread of Angel’s supermarket trips, not the Snickers bars. Mmm, snickers bars.]
“I love you, Bobby.”
“I love you too.”
“Don’t look so sad. You don’t deserve this.”
He looked into her eyes, smoothed her hair, and kissed her forehead.
“I’ve gotta go,” he said in a hushed voice. He jumped off the cot and left. Angel shook her head sadly. Poor Bobby, she thought. Maybe his going-away-again party this Friday would cheer him up.
---
NOTES
1) How was this a chapter? Chris bumps into Ole’s new secretary and Bobby pouts about whatever? Slow burn, ladies and gents. Slow burn.
2) The snail has an “S” painted on the outside of the car. I still like that joke.
3) Anyone think Violet/Marie/Sunny/Nightshade’s evil revenge plot is going to succeed? Anyone think I actually had a plan in mind rather than just making it up as I went along?
COMING UP NEXT ...
Another infernal Scott and Rick chapter. 'Nuff said.
Join us next time for ...
Chapter 32: Solitary Scott
Special shout out to all my readers, frequent commenters and lurkers alike. I just want to say that I appreciate all of y’all/youse guys. So hey out there in Naples, San Francisco, San Antonio, Irving, DC, Glenshaw, Houston, Nashville, Allentown, Chapel Hill, and anywhere else I’m not mentioning. Whether I know you personally or not, I’m super duper psyched that you’re reading, and I hope you’re having as much fun as I am.
Anyhoo … someone tell Angel to watch her back. A devious plot begins to unfold in …
Chapter 31 – Revenge Begins
Chris walked down the narrow corridor of Atlanta’s Omni, whistling an unidentifiable tune. His mind was off somewhere in space, so he didn’t notice the woman walking hurriedly in the other direction.
“Oh!” the woman exclaimed as they collided. Her papers spilled on the floor.
“I’m so sorry. I was kind of lost in thoughts,” Chris admitted, helping her scoop up the papers.
“I was a bit lost myself,” she said sheepishly.
Chris looked up at her. Her jet black hair was tied at the nape of her neck into a tight bun. Emerald eyes sparkled behind wire-rimmed glasses. [black hair and green eyes? Uh-oh. That can only mean one person. But glasses are a good disguise.] She was dressed in a dark linen skirt and top.
“I’m Violet Royce,” she greeted, offering her hand to Chris.
“Chris Benoit.”
“Nice to meet you, Chris. Maybe you can help me. Where is Ole Anderson’s office?” [why would he have an office at the arena?]
“I’ll walk you there.”
“Thank you.”
They started off into the direction of the office.
“So, what do you do here?” Chris asked.
“I’m a secretary for Ole. This is my first day.” [so my female characters consist of a nurse and a secretary. Nice.]
“Maybe I can show you around later.”
“I’d like that,” she smiled broadly.
Violet laughed to herself. This would be easier than she thought. [I dunno, Vi. It’s going to be tough to top Miss Elizabeth’s scheme.]
-----
“So the snail drives by and a guy says, ‘Hey! Look at that S car go!!’ Get it?” Angel finished her joke with a flourish.
Bobby smiled weakly.
“Oh, come on, Bobby. That at least deserved a groan!”
He shook his head silently. Angel hopped up on the cot next to him. She spoke gently. “Hey Bobby, you’ve been quiet all week. What’s up?”
“Nothing.”
Angel sighed. “Oh Bobby, you know I don’t believe that.”
He shrugged.
“I understand if you don’t want to talk.”
He nodded.
“You know where to find me if you change your mind.”
Another nod. Angel looked at her best friend for a long time. Seeing him like this really made her depressed. On an impulse, she threw her arms around him in a tight embrace. [Impulse? Hugs are the bread of Angel’s supermarket trips, not the Snickers bars. Mmm, snickers bars.]
“I love you, Bobby.”
“I love you too.”
“Don’t look so sad. You don’t deserve this.”
He looked into her eyes, smoothed her hair, and kissed her forehead.
“I’ve gotta go,” he said in a hushed voice. He jumped off the cot and left. Angel shook her head sadly. Poor Bobby, she thought. Maybe his going-away-again party this Friday would cheer him up.
---
NOTES
1) How was this a chapter? Chris bumps into Ole’s new secretary and Bobby pouts about whatever? Slow burn, ladies and gents. Slow burn.
2) The snail has an “S” painted on the outside of the car. I still like that joke.
3) Anyone think Violet/Marie/Sunny/Nightshade’s evil revenge plot is going to succeed? Anyone think I actually had a plan in mind rather than just making it up as I went along?
COMING UP NEXT ...
Another infernal Scott and Rick chapter. 'Nuff said.
Join us next time for ...
Chapter 32: Solitary Scott
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