Welcome back, compadres. Glad you're here. Before we get to today's chapter, I'd just like to recommend a book: Chris Jericho's autobiography. It was fantastic. For serious. I laughed out loud so much that Slice thought I was exaggerating, but then I read parts aloud to him and he cracked up too. It was funny, exciting, compelling, and inspirational. I mean every one of those words sincerely. Plus, getting a "behind the scenes" scoop makes this stuff I wrote even more ludicrous. Especially the dressing rooms.
Anyhoo ... what's on the docket for today? Ah yes, Chapter 47, in which Angel has a conversation with a fifth-tier character that you assume will be important one day down the line, but I'm just warning you now: don't be so hasty with your assumptions. Enjoy!
Chapter 47 – Friendly Advice
Angel’s office seemed gloomy and quiet. She flicked on the lights, cheering the place up a bit. She looked at her watch nervously. She only [sic] an hour to set up before she would meet Chris at her house. [hold the phone. What is she setting up? Her nurse’s station? Why would she set up and then leave?]
“Hi, Angelica. Can I help?” Asked Felicia, walking through the door.
“Oh, Felicia! Thanks. Could you get the gauze from the storage room?” [is Angel still too traumatized by Marcus and Missy to get it herself?]
“No problem.”
Felicia let the room and walked not to the storage room, but to a little office near the entrance. She knocked twice.
“Who is it?”
“Felicia.”
Violet opened the door and ushered Felicia in.
“Well?”
“She’s in there alone. I’m going ahead with the plan.”
“Remember, she must trust you explicitly.” [what does that mean?]
Felicia put a wisp of fine cornsilk hair behind her ear. “I understand.”
Nurse Baigen reentered Angel’s office with the gauze and wordlessly put it into the grey-green medicine cabinet.
“Thanks,”Angel said. She removed the antibacterial disinfectant spray and cleaned the countertops. [do we really need this level of detail?] She didn’t think she was showing an outward display of any emotion, so it greatly surprised her when Felicia asked her if anything was wrong.
“No. No. why do you ask?”
“You look kinda down.”
“I do?”
“Yes. Very much so. What’s wrong?”
“With me? Absolutely nothing.”
“Ok. Sorry. But if you want to talk …”
“Thanks.”
They continued setting up in silence. A thought popped into Angel’s head. Maybe Felicia had a good idea as to how to break things to Chris. [huh?] She was certainly drawing a blank.
“Actually …”
“Yeah?”
“I could use some advice.”
“Go ahead.”
“Well … you know how I’ve been going out with Chris Benoit?”
“Yeah.”
“I love him with all my heart, but about a month ago, I kissed another guy.”
Felicia, who knew all this already, let her eyes widen in surprise. “No.”
“Yes. I don’t’ know how to break it to him. He said he needed to speak with me badly. I think he found out from someone.”
“Either that or he’s got a secret of his own.”
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe he was in a similar situation.”
“You think so?”
“If you were tempted by someone else, it’s possible.”
“I hadn’t thought about it. What should I say if that’s true?”
“Hmm …” Felicia’s pale forehead wrinkled in thought. “Well, if that is the case … maybe what you two need is a little more time away from each other.”
“What?”
“A test! To see if you really were made for each other!” Her light blue eyes sparkled.
“I don’t understand.” [is this concept that difficult to comprehend? It may not be the best idea ever, but it is clearly and logically worded. It’s not like Felicia just told Angel to spin plates in a panda kayak.]
“Like a trial period … say, three weeks at least. If you can stay faithful for that long, you can get through anything. It worked for me and my boyfriend.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Give it a shot.”
“I don’t know...”
The phone rang, interrupting Angel. As soon as she was about to pick it up, it stopped.
“How odd.”
Felicia agreed, but recognized Violet’s signal. [The signal for what?] She glanced at her watch and gasped. “I’m late for my meeting with Ole! I’m sorry, Angel!”
“It’s alright. Thank you, Felicia.”
“No problem. [twice in one chapter? Is she channeling Alf?] Take my advice.”
“Maybe I will.”
Felicia Baigen rushed through the door, leaving Angelica to turn the idea over in her head. Violet was waiting impatiently in her office.
“Well?”
“It went very well.”
Violet smiled in an evil way. “Good. Now we begin phase two. You know what to do?”
“Yes.”
“Perfect.” This was too sweet!
NOTES
1) Let’s break down Violet’s Evil Scheme thus far, shall we? STEP ONE: pose as a secretary, constantly bump into Chris with top buttons of shirt undone. STEP TWO: try to seduce Chris after colluding with Arn. STEP THREE: Call Chris’s ex-girlfriend and survey her about her dating habits. STEP FOUR: Send Felicia in to tell Angel that she and Chris should have a trial separation. At some point during this scheme, she acquired an office and an evil laugh. And a comic book villain’s vocabulary. “Phase two”???
2) And what was with "the signal"? Violet didn't seem to have any ostensible reason to hail Felicia back into her office. And how did she know Felicia was done giving Evil Advice to Angel?
3) I know I’ve mentioned this before, but why do they need two nurses? Angel really never seems all that busy, unless you count locating gauze or being cried upon.
4) We all know why Violet/Marie/Sunny/Nightshade/Gillian hates Angel, but what is Felicia’s problem with her? Unless she just really enjoys being Vi’s minion. What’s that you say? You assume I’ll explain in future chapters? Well … you just go ahead and hold fast to that assumption.
COMING UP NEXT …
Here it comes, folks: a cavalcade of Changel drama. Boy howdy, it’s dramatic. I don’t want to give too much away, so all I’ll say is that yes, there will be crying. And a sock.
Tune in next week for …
Chapter 48 – Confession (Part I)
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Chapter 46 - Scheming
Y’all, I’ve been watching a lot of wrestling lately. It’s awesome. I really missed this stuff. I took a little hiatus after college because it was getting super crappy for a while. I'd pick it up here and there, but hadn't really watched with any sort of consistency until now. Slice was insanely busy at his job a few months ago, which meant lots of awesome TV-watching for me, so I got totally hooked again. I'm such a mark. And next Monday, Shaq is hosting RAW. SHAQ. I love Shaq. I don't even like basketball. But I like this commercial a lot.
Allllright. Where were we? Ah yes. Violet colluded with Arn to inform Chris of Asstin's treachery. Violet then capitalized on Chris's vulnerability by tasting his eardrum. Unfortunately for her, he came to his senses and threw her out of his room. This week: Violet turns to Plan B while drinking an outdated 90's beverage.
Chapter 46 – Scheming
Violet hurled the hotel Bible across the room [see? Eeeeevil.] Stupid blonde bitch [GASP! EEEVIL!] She’s got her boyfriend wrapped around her sweet little finger. Well, that’s alright. Angel might be pretty, but Violet thought she lacked sorely in the brains department. She knew what had to be done. Her trump card had to be played – soon.
Violet picked up the phone and dialed the number she had looked up weeks ago.
“Hello?” A young female voice said.
“Yes, Hello. This is Gillian Carter from Self Magazine. I’m conducting a survey of 18 to 30 year old females and the men they’re interested in. Do you have time for our survey?”
“Well … sure.”
“Great. Could I please have your first name – for reference.”
“Justina.”
“Hi, Justina. Are you currently involved with a member of the opposite sex?”
“Yes, I am.”
“On a scale of one to ten, how serious would you say your relationship is right now?”
“Oh gosh, we just met, really. I’d say about … six and a half.” [6.5? Even though you just met? Well, I suppose that’s an improvement over Angel and Marcus, who went from making googly eyes at each other to being in love in like, fifteen minutes.]
“Is he older or younger than you?”
“He’s a few years older.”
“Would you describe him as a blue-collar or white-collar worker?”
“Ohh … that’s tough. I’m not sure.”
“Well, if you don’t mind answering, what does he do for a living?”
Justina giggled. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me.”
“He’s a professional wrestler. Of all things!”
Violet’s mouth hung open. She recovered quickly. “Oh really? I’m quite a fan of professional wrestling myself. Strictly off the record, of course, anyone I’d know?”
“Well, maybe. Ever hear of the Steiner brothers?”
Violet was struck into silence.
“Ms. Carter?”
“Oh … uh, yes. Yes. I’ve heard of them. I was just stunned. You see, they are my absolute favorite wrestlers on earth! So tell me … which one?”
“Scotty. He’s such a doll.”
Violet cleared her throat. “Well, thank you, Justina, for your time.”
“Oh, sure, no problem.”
They said their good-byes. Violet poured herself a [wait for it! wait for it!] Cappio. They always helped her to think. A plot was being born in her head.
She snickered and took a long sip. Hurt Scott and Angel at the same time. Oh, this would be fun. Maybe then she could have Chris to herself. She actually sort of liked him. Loyal, kind, and adorable. Violets’ snickers [mmm, snickers] turned into gales of laughter. This was too sweet.
NOTES:
1) Well, no one guessed Cappio. Hey, I told you it was a toughie! I'm just glad that there was a youtube clip to prove that I didn't make it up. Never fear, I'll have another contest soon. I've got a burning desire to share my VHS collection with others.
2) Let's review Violet's Evil Scheme as presented in this chapter: she calls Justina and asks her random questions. And ... that's it. What kinds of questions were those? Blue collar or white collar? It's not like Vi knew she was dating Scott Steiner. Let's say hypothetically that instead of dating Scott, Justina was dating a claims adjustor named Todd. How would that information have helped Violet in the slightest? What's that you're saying? Plot contrivance? Oh, yes, that explains everything.
3) Gillian Carter ... yes, that's an X-Files reference. I was an equal-opportunity nerd.
COMING UP NEXT ...
Angel has a stupid conversation with a character I'll be you've already forgotten about and will promptly forget again after the chapter is over. If that doesn't sound exciting, I don't know what does!! Tune in next time for ...
Chapter 47 - Friendly Advice
Allllright. Where were we? Ah yes. Violet colluded with Arn to inform Chris of Asstin's treachery. Violet then capitalized on Chris's vulnerability by tasting his eardrum. Unfortunately for her, he came to his senses and threw her out of his room. This week: Violet turns to Plan B while drinking an outdated 90's beverage.
Chapter 46 – Scheming
Violet hurled the hotel Bible across the room [see? Eeeeevil.] Stupid blonde bitch [GASP! EEEVIL!] She’s got her boyfriend wrapped around her sweet little finger. Well, that’s alright. Angel might be pretty, but Violet thought she lacked sorely in the brains department. She knew what had to be done. Her trump card had to be played – soon.
Violet picked up the phone and dialed the number she had looked up weeks ago.
“Hello?” A young female voice said.
“Yes, Hello. This is Gillian Carter from Self Magazine. I’m conducting a survey of 18 to 30 year old females and the men they’re interested in. Do you have time for our survey?”
“Well … sure.”
“Great. Could I please have your first name – for reference.”
“Justina.”
“Hi, Justina. Are you currently involved with a member of the opposite sex?”
“Yes, I am.”
“On a scale of one to ten, how serious would you say your relationship is right now?”
“Oh gosh, we just met, really. I’d say about … six and a half.” [6.5? Even though you just met? Well, I suppose that’s an improvement over Angel and Marcus, who went from making googly eyes at each other to being in love in like, fifteen minutes.]
“Is he older or younger than you?”
“He’s a few years older.”
“Would you describe him as a blue-collar or white-collar worker?”
“Ohh … that’s tough. I’m not sure.”
“Well, if you don’t mind answering, what does he do for a living?”
Justina giggled. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me.”
“He’s a professional wrestler. Of all things!”
Violet’s mouth hung open. She recovered quickly. “Oh really? I’m quite a fan of professional wrestling myself. Strictly off the record, of course, anyone I’d know?”
“Well, maybe. Ever hear of the Steiner brothers?”
Violet was struck into silence.
“Ms. Carter?”
“Oh … uh, yes. Yes. I’ve heard of them. I was just stunned. You see, they are my absolute favorite wrestlers on earth! So tell me … which one?”
“Scotty. He’s such a doll.”
Violet cleared her throat. “Well, thank you, Justina, for your time.”
“Oh, sure, no problem.”
They said their good-byes. Violet poured herself a [wait for it! wait for it!] Cappio. They always helped her to think. A plot was being born in her head.
She snickered and took a long sip. Hurt Scott and Angel at the same time. Oh, this would be fun. Maybe then she could have Chris to herself. She actually sort of liked him. Loyal, kind, and adorable. Violets’ snickers [mmm, snickers] turned into gales of laughter. This was too sweet.
NOTES:
1) Well, no one guessed Cappio. Hey, I told you it was a toughie! I'm just glad that there was a youtube clip to prove that I didn't make it up. Never fear, I'll have another contest soon. I've got a burning desire to share my VHS collection with others.
2) Let's review Violet's Evil Scheme as presented in this chapter: she calls Justina and asks her random questions. And ... that's it. What kinds of questions were those? Blue collar or white collar? It's not like Vi knew she was dating Scott Steiner. Let's say hypothetically that instead of dating Scott, Justina was dating a claims adjustor named Todd. How would that information have helped Violet in the slightest? What's that you're saying? Plot contrivance? Oh, yes, that explains everything.
3) Gillian Carter ... yes, that's an X-Files reference. I was an equal-opportunity nerd.
COMING UP NEXT ...
Angel has a stupid conversation with a character I'll be you've already forgotten about and will promptly forget again after the chapter is over. If that doesn't sound exciting, I don't know what does!! Tune in next time for ...
Chapter 47 - Friendly Advice
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Chapter 45: No Secrets (Part II)
Quick Note: If you would like to receive an email reminder when this blog is updated and/or don't like RSS feeds, just drop me a line at unabashedlybad at gmail dot com and I'll be happy to keep you in the loop!
Moving right along ...
Welcome, friends and readers. Why not both? Why not "freaders?" I know why not. Because I already overuse the portmanteau to an alarming degree. I flove the portmanteau. It's frawesome. It's portmantastic.
Aaaaanyhoo. Where were we? Ah yes. When we last left our sorry bunch, Chris was sitting in his hotel room, crying (of course). Back in Japan, Arn Anderson had
played a tape of Angel confessing to Bobby that she had kissed Dustin in Topeka. This week: Violet's Evil Scheme continues! Whee!
Chapter 45: No Secrets (Part II)
After brooding for hours on the long plane trip back to the States, Chris checked into the company hotel in Georgia. [so now the company has a hotel? Like a WCW Super 8? Well … at least it’s not a dressing room.] Violet Royce, having met with Arn, knocked on Chris’ door.
“Chris … do you have the … what’s wrong?” she asked, after taking a look at Chris’ face.
“Nothing. Violet, what can I do for you?”
She moved closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“That’s not important anymore. What’s important is you. What’s wrong?”
“Look, Violet … you’re a sweet girl …” He stopped mid-sentence, transfixed by her clear green eyes, so close to his now.
“I can help you forget about whoever hurt you.”
“No …” He came out of his daze momentarily.
“Yes, Chris.” She pulled him towards her.
“I …” Chris began, but his words were cut off as Violet locked her lips to his. They moved over to the bed and fell back on it, still kissing passionately. [dang. That was quick]
“Chris, you need me.” Violet whispered into his ear as he kissed her neck. The she stuck her tongue directly into it. [wtf?]
My God, thought Chris, Angel never does that! [with good reason, no? Am I missing something?] Angel … What am I doing?
Chris jerked his head away from Violet. “Violet, I can’t do this.”
“Yes you can.”
“No.” He got up and grabbed Violet by the shoulders. “Sorry.” He opened the door and shoved Violet out of it.
And now Chris was sitting in a Holiday Inn in St. Paul [is it a WCW brand Holiday Inn?] sobbing and wishing he could turn back time. The phone rang. Chris wiped his eyes and answered it.
“Yeah.”
“Chris?”
“Angelica?”
“Hi. You OK? You sound kinda out of it.”
“No. I’m fine. I just … Angel, I need to talk to you. Badly.”
“About what?”
“No. Not on the phone.” [never a good sign]
“Chris?”
“Please, Angel. Tomorrow at your house, Ok?”
“Yeah, sure. I … uh … I’ll see you then. You sure you’re ok?”
“No. Yeah. I don’t know. But Angel, I’ve gotta go.”
“Allright. I love you.”
He sighed. “I love you too.” Chris hung up before Angel could say anything else. How could he explain to her everything that happened? How could he tell her that he had suspected of her cheating on him with an almost-married man because a man no one should trust had told him so? [well, technically, he had a sketchy audio tape] He didn’t know.
NOTES:
1) The tongue in the ear? Yeah, I don't know. My best explanation is that when I wrote this, I was a rather awkward 14-year-old girl with GIGANTIC glasses, an extremely unflattering haircut, and a strong aversion to pants with zippers and music made before 1968 who watched waaaaaay too much professional wrestling. Yeah, it was a while before I experienced anything resembling a romantic physical interaction. And judging from what I apparantly assumed transpired when one "made out" with a guy, this was probably best for everyone.
2) Oh Chris, you faithless cad. Angel is going to be crushed. She might have kissed Dustin, but you let Violet give you an ear job. [I really wanted to make a pun out of the phrase "aural sex," but I have too much dignity for that.]
3) So Violet/Marie/Nightshade/Sunny is in cahoots with Arn? When did that happen? What a world. Too bad V/M/N/S didn't get to seal the deal. Now I know what you're thinking: (aside from shuddering at the taste of earwax) An evil vixen like Violet can't possibly be satisfied. Don't worry folks, there's more Evil Scheme on the horizon.
COMING UP NEXT:
Violet's Evil Scheme gets even more convoluted. I don't want to give too much away... but it involves her posing as a Self magazine phone survey lady. BONUS: I mention ANOTHER outdated beverage from the early '90's.
BUT WHICH BEVERAGE?
Allright, folks. Let's try something new here. I'm officially holding UnabashedlyBad's first ever CONTEST. (It might also be the last, so enjoy it while you can.)
This one's a toughie. Can you guess which outdated beverage from the early '90's Violet will be drinking in the next chapter? Hint: it is NOT Crystal Pepsi.
If you've got a guess, post it in the comments section. The winner will receive a totally awesome wrestling-related VHS tape from my own personal collection.
And if there is no winner/no guesses, well then, I'll just have to think up a new contest one of these days.
That's it for now! See you next week!
Moving right along ...
Welcome, friends and readers. Why not both? Why not "freaders?" I know why not. Because I already overuse the portmanteau to an alarming degree. I flove the portmanteau. It's frawesome. It's portmantastic.
Aaaaanyhoo. Where were we? Ah yes. When we last left our sorry bunch, Chris was sitting in his hotel room, crying (of course). Back in Japan, Arn Anderson had
played a tape of Angel confessing to Bobby that she had kissed Dustin in Topeka. This week: Violet's Evil Scheme continues! Whee!
Chapter 45: No Secrets (Part II)
After brooding for hours on the long plane trip back to the States, Chris checked into the company hotel in Georgia. [so now the company has a hotel? Like a WCW Super 8? Well … at least it’s not a dressing room.] Violet Royce, having met with Arn, knocked on Chris’ door.
“Chris … do you have the … what’s wrong?” she asked, after taking a look at Chris’ face.
“Nothing. Violet, what can I do for you?”
She moved closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“That’s not important anymore. What’s important is you. What’s wrong?”
“Look, Violet … you’re a sweet girl …” He stopped mid-sentence, transfixed by her clear green eyes, so close to his now.
“I can help you forget about whoever hurt you.”
“No …” He came out of his daze momentarily.
“Yes, Chris.” She pulled him towards her.
“I …” Chris began, but his words were cut off as Violet locked her lips to his. They moved over to the bed and fell back on it, still kissing passionately. [dang. That was quick]
“Chris, you need me.” Violet whispered into his ear as he kissed her neck. The she stuck her tongue directly into it. [wtf?]
My God, thought Chris, Angel never does that! [with good reason, no? Am I missing something?] Angel … What am I doing?
Chris jerked his head away from Violet. “Violet, I can’t do this.”
“Yes you can.”
“No.” He got up and grabbed Violet by the shoulders. “Sorry.” He opened the door and shoved Violet out of it.
And now Chris was sitting in a Holiday Inn in St. Paul [is it a WCW brand Holiday Inn?] sobbing and wishing he could turn back time. The phone rang. Chris wiped his eyes and answered it.
“Yeah.”
“Chris?”
“Angelica?”
“Hi. You OK? You sound kinda out of it.”
“No. I’m fine. I just … Angel, I need to talk to you. Badly.”
“About what?”
“No. Not on the phone.” [never a good sign]
“Chris?”
“Please, Angel. Tomorrow at your house, Ok?”
“Yeah, sure. I … uh … I’ll see you then. You sure you’re ok?”
“No. Yeah. I don’t know. But Angel, I’ve gotta go.”
“Allright. I love you.”
He sighed. “I love you too.” Chris hung up before Angel could say anything else. How could he explain to her everything that happened? How could he tell her that he had suspected of her cheating on him with an almost-married man because a man no one should trust had told him so? [well, technically, he had a sketchy audio tape] He didn’t know.
NOTES:
1) The tongue in the ear? Yeah, I don't know. My best explanation is that when I wrote this, I was a rather awkward 14-year-old girl with GIGANTIC glasses, an extremely unflattering haircut, and a strong aversion to pants with zippers and music made before 1968 who watched waaaaaay too much professional wrestling. Yeah, it was a while before I experienced anything resembling a romantic physical interaction. And judging from what I apparantly assumed transpired when one "made out" with a guy, this was probably best for everyone.
2) Oh Chris, you faithless cad. Angel is going to be crushed. She might have kissed Dustin, but you let Violet give you an ear job. [I really wanted to make a pun out of the phrase "aural sex," but I have too much dignity for that.]
3) So Violet/Marie/Nightshade/Sunny is in cahoots with Arn? When did that happen? What a world. Too bad V/M/N/S didn't get to seal the deal. Now I know what you're thinking: (aside from shuddering at the taste of earwax) An evil vixen like Violet can't possibly be satisfied. Don't worry folks, there's more Evil Scheme on the horizon.
COMING UP NEXT:
Violet's Evil Scheme gets even more convoluted. I don't want to give too much away... but it involves her posing as a Self magazine phone survey lady. BONUS: I mention ANOTHER outdated beverage from the early '90's.
BUT WHICH BEVERAGE?
Allright, folks. Let's try something new here. I'm officially holding UnabashedlyBad's first ever CONTEST. (It might also be the last, so enjoy it while you can.)
This one's a toughie. Can you guess which outdated beverage from the early '90's Violet will be drinking in the next chapter? Hint: it is NOT Crystal Pepsi.
If you've got a guess, post it in the comments section. The winner will receive a totally awesome wrestling-related VHS tape from my own personal collection.
And if there is no winner/no guesses, well then, I'll just have to think up a new contest one of these days.
That's it for now! See you next week!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Chapter 45 - No Secrets (Part I)
Welcome back to UnabashedlyBad.com, your only internet source for crap of this caliber.
Last week: Angel tried to be a wallflower so she could mope about how she hasn't talked to her big brother in years for no reason wahtsoever. Despite her most valiant efforts, her intense personal charm thrust her into the middle of the festivities.
Today: Arn starts rockin' the Changel boat. Ruh-roh!!!
Chapter 45 – No Secrets (Part I)
Chris sat in his Saint Paul Holiday Inn room, letting tears that he had been holding back for days fall from his eyes [huzzah!].
It had been Arn Anderson who had given him this awful news. Now of course Chris knew Arn shouldn’t be trusted, but still …
Chris was trying on his latest ring jacket in front of the full length mirror in his Tokyo Egg Dome dressing room. There was a knock at the door. [After all that progress I’ve made in un-misimagining dressing rooms … sigh]
“It’s open!”
Arn Anderson walked in reading papers on a clipboard. [what is he, a camp counselor?]
“Well, well, well. We’re dressing-roommates.”
“Whoopee,” Chris said sourly.
“Benoit, you’ll change your mind once you hear what I’ve got to say.”
“You expect me to listen to you after nearly destroying my best friend’s marriage?” Chris whirled and looked at him, then shook his head and rummaged around in a duffel bag.
“This doesn’t concern Eaton.”
“Do you ever refer to anyone by their first name, Arnie?”
Arn ignored his question. “It concerns you an Angelica.”
Chris’s head jerked up. He moved over to Arn.
“What’ve you done to Angel?”
“Relax. It’s not what I’ve done to her, it’s what she’s doing to you … and other guys.”
“I don’t’ know what you’re talking about – and I don’t care. “
“Oh, but you should.”
“Arnie, I’m a busy guy.”
“And she’s a busy woman.”
“If I listen to you, will you leave me alone?”
Satisfied, Arn plopped down in a folding chair. “How can I put this gently …”
“Say your piece and leave,” Chris said firmly, sitting opposite Arn on a folding chair.
“Well, it seems your sweet little Angle isn’t as perfect as you had once thought. Seems that she wasn’t so faithful.”
“What are you saying?” [is it that confusing, Chris?]
“Just before you left for Japan, she became very intimately involved with Dustin Rhodes.”
“Arn, even if I believed you, which I don’t – you have no proof.”
“Oh I don’t? Then explain this.”
The tape Arn had played for Chris was muffled and garbled at parts, but he could clearly understand the voices of Bobby Eaton and Angel.
“… Between you and me …”
“Sure.”
“Yesterday … Dustin Rhodes … we were kissing each other.”
“ … Tell Chris?”
“… No …”
The rest of the tape was fuzzy.
Arn patted Chris on the head and left – with the tape – chuckling to himself.
Chris’ mouth hung open. His Angel? He had never felt so empty. But things were bound to get worse. And they did very soon.
TO BE CONTINUED ...
NOTES:
1) Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. Arn, you're such a card. Also, not that I'm not grateful, but why the heck did you put a tape recorder in Angel's office? I think it might rhyme with "flot fontrivance."
2) Why is Chris always either in various states of wrestling gear undress or rummaging around in a duffel bag? I'm going to start a new tag to keep track of this. I'll call it: duffel bagging/state of undress.
COMING UP NEXT ...
Chris begins to deal with the fallout whilst Violet's Evil Plan plods on. BONUS: super gross make-out scene. You won't want to miss ...
Chapter 45 - No Secrets (Part II)
Last week: Angel tried to be a wallflower so she could mope about how she hasn't talked to her big brother in years for no reason wahtsoever. Despite her most valiant efforts, her intense personal charm thrust her into the middle of the festivities.
Today: Arn starts rockin' the Changel boat. Ruh-roh!!!
Chapter 45 – No Secrets (Part I)
Chris sat in his Saint Paul Holiday Inn room, letting tears that he had been holding back for days fall from his eyes [huzzah!].
It had been Arn Anderson who had given him this awful news. Now of course Chris knew Arn shouldn’t be trusted, but still …
Chris was trying on his latest ring jacket in front of the full length mirror in his Tokyo Egg Dome dressing room. There was a knock at the door. [After all that progress I’ve made in un-misimagining dressing rooms … sigh]
“It’s open!”
Arn Anderson walked in reading papers on a clipboard. [what is he, a camp counselor?]
“Well, well, well. We’re dressing-roommates.”
“Whoopee,” Chris said sourly.
“Benoit, you’ll change your mind once you hear what I’ve got to say.”
“You expect me to listen to you after nearly destroying my best friend’s marriage?” Chris whirled and looked at him, then shook his head and rummaged around in a duffel bag.
“This doesn’t concern Eaton.”
“Do you ever refer to anyone by their first name, Arnie?”
Arn ignored his question. “It concerns you an Angelica.”
Chris’s head jerked up. He moved over to Arn.
“What’ve you done to Angel?”
“Relax. It’s not what I’ve done to her, it’s what she’s doing to you … and other guys.”
“I don’t’ know what you’re talking about – and I don’t care. “
“Oh, but you should.”
“Arnie, I’m a busy guy.”
“And she’s a busy woman.”
“If I listen to you, will you leave me alone?”
Satisfied, Arn plopped down in a folding chair. “How can I put this gently …”
“Say your piece and leave,” Chris said firmly, sitting opposite Arn on a folding chair.
“Well, it seems your sweet little Angle isn’t as perfect as you had once thought. Seems that she wasn’t so faithful.”
“What are you saying?” [is it that confusing, Chris?]
“Just before you left for Japan, she became very intimately involved with Dustin Rhodes.”
“Arn, even if I believed you, which I don’t – you have no proof.”
“Oh I don’t? Then explain this.”
The tape Arn had played for Chris was muffled and garbled at parts, but he could clearly understand the voices of Bobby Eaton and Angel.
“… Between you and me …”
“Sure.”
“Yesterday … Dustin Rhodes … we were kissing each other.”
“ … Tell Chris?”
“… No …”
The rest of the tape was fuzzy.
Arn patted Chris on the head and left – with the tape – chuckling to himself.
Chris’ mouth hung open. His Angel? He had never felt so empty. But things were bound to get worse. And they did very soon.
TO BE CONTINUED ...
NOTES:
1) Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. Arn, you're such a card. Also, not that I'm not grateful, but why the heck did you put a tape recorder in Angel's office? I think it might rhyme with "flot fontrivance."
2) Why is Chris always either in various states of wrestling gear undress or rummaging around in a duffel bag? I'm going to start a new tag to keep track of this. I'll call it: duffel bagging/state of undress.
COMING UP NEXT ...
Chris begins to deal with the fallout whilst Violet's Evil Plan plods on. BONUS: super gross make-out scene. You won't want to miss ...
Chapter 45 - No Secrets (Part II)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Chapter 44 - The Wedding Party
When we last left our merry band of losers, Dullexandra tied the knot and no one objected. This week: characters interact. That's about it. Sorry. On the plus side, we do get to see some more of Rick's trademark Goofball Antics. Wait, that's not a plus side. Well ... here's a plus side: no Clippy. Take what you can get, folks.
Chapter 44 – The Wedding Party
Sting hopped into Angel’s car. She pulled out of the parking lot.
“Thanks for the ride.”
“No problem.”
“Nice wedding, huh?”
“Yeah. It was beautiful.”
“Hey, Angel, did Dustin tell you what happened at the bachelor party?”
“With Barry? Yeah.”
“Where’d he end up? Did he just drive around all night?”
“No … he slept over at my house.”
Sting stared at her.
“Nothing happened, if you’re wondering. He slept on my couch. He needed a friend, and that’s what I was,” she said, annoyed.
Angel found a space in the rented hotel’s lot [they rented out the entire hotel? Dang!] and both she and Sting entered the party. The place was humming with activity, but Angel didn’t want to be a part of it. Odd feelings swept over her. It felt wrong for her to be here. She missed Chris and Bobby, but most of all, she missed her big brother Danny. She hadn’t spoken to him in over two years. [That’s what she feels bad about? That? With all of the other crap going on? Danny?]
Angel greeted everyone cordially, then found a table in the corner by herself. Why hadn’t she kept in touch with Danny? Well, she knew her big brother was never one to remember to call anyone. He was always busy with one project or another. Angel being a full time nurse and Danny being a struggling actor didn’t leave much time for communication. But still, two years? What was he doing now? Was he married? Did he have kids? That settled it. Angel would call him as soon as she could. [sure she will. Either that or we’ll never hear about him again.]
“Ang? You OK?”
Angel looked up. Scott was standing there.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You look beautiful.”
“Thank you. Have a seat.”
“Thanks.” Scott said, sitting next to Angel. [important detail there]
“How have you been, Scotty?”
“I’ve been alright. I, uh, met a woman,” he grinned.
“Yeah, what’s her name?”
“Justina.” [dunt dunt DUNNNNNNNNNNN!]
“What’s she like?”
“She’s about 27 or so, with curly copper hair, and these incredible blue eyes. They’re so beautiful.” [who gives out that kind of information upon being asked that question? Is the age significant unless it’s like, 17 or 87? Now that would make for an interesting story.]
“Sounds terrific! Where’d you meet her?”
“At this dance thing my brother dragged me to.” [a dance? A DANCE? Oh, I give up.] He looked away, into the crowd of people. “Wonder where he is.”
Angelica stood to help him search. She felt 2 hands cover her eyes.
“Guess who?”
“OJ Simpson?”
“Nope.”
“Homer Simpson?”
“D’oh! Nope – one more try.”
“Uhmm … Rick?”
“Give the woman a beer! Or at least a Zima or something.” [Yes. I wrote that. Wowlions.]
“Hey Rick.” She hugged him.
“Hey Angie.”
“Nice bowtie,” she said, taking in Rick’s neon pink neckwear.
“Thank you. Nice toenail polish.”
Angel looked down at her feet.
“Gotcha!” Rick cried in glee. [Oh, what a hilarious throwback to Sting’s party. Rick, you are a card.]
“Hi guys,” Greeted Sting, joining the group. “And gal.”
“Hey Sting.”
Much to Angel’s dismay, she had become thrust straight into the middle of the party.
“What’re we doing all alone here in the corner? Let’s mingle!” With a happy shriek, Sting moved into other swells of people. The party lasted until the wee hours of the morning, and Angel had a better time than she had expected [well thank goodness].
After the festivities were over, Angel packed her bags for Tupelo and Chris’ plane landed in St. Paul, Minnesota.
NOTES:
1) Wow, y'all, remember Zima? Those commercials were always on in the early 90's. "Zomething different!" Oh, the 90's. I wore so much flannel.
2) So Danny is a struggling actor in LA? And so busy with "projects" that he can't remember to call his only sister, who also apparantly can't remember to call him, despite the fact that both of their parents died in a horrific car accident years ago? Okaaaaaaaaaaay.
3) I think I can promise that this the only chapter that mentions OJ Simpson.
Coming up next … Chris + Arn + tape recorder = crying. You won’t want to miss this one. Join us next week for …
Chapter 45 – No Secrets, Part I
Chapter 44 – The Wedding Party
Sting hopped into Angel’s car. She pulled out of the parking lot.
“Thanks for the ride.”
“No problem.”
“Nice wedding, huh?”
“Yeah. It was beautiful.”
“Hey, Angel, did Dustin tell you what happened at the bachelor party?”
“With Barry? Yeah.”
“Where’d he end up? Did he just drive around all night?”
“No … he slept over at my house.”
Sting stared at her.
“Nothing happened, if you’re wondering. He slept on my couch. He needed a friend, and that’s what I was,” she said, annoyed.
Angel found a space in the rented hotel’s lot [they rented out the entire hotel? Dang!] and both she and Sting entered the party. The place was humming with activity, but Angel didn’t want to be a part of it. Odd feelings swept over her. It felt wrong for her to be here. She missed Chris and Bobby, but most of all, she missed her big brother Danny. She hadn’t spoken to him in over two years. [That’s what she feels bad about? That? With all of the other crap going on? Danny?]
Angel greeted everyone cordially, then found a table in the corner by herself. Why hadn’t she kept in touch with Danny? Well, she knew her big brother was never one to remember to call anyone. He was always busy with one project or another. Angel being a full time nurse and Danny being a struggling actor didn’t leave much time for communication. But still, two years? What was he doing now? Was he married? Did he have kids? That settled it. Angel would call him as soon as she could. [sure she will. Either that or we’ll never hear about him again.]
“Ang? You OK?”
Angel looked up. Scott was standing there.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You look beautiful.”
“Thank you. Have a seat.”
“Thanks.” Scott said, sitting next to Angel. [important detail there]
“How have you been, Scotty?”
“I’ve been alright. I, uh, met a woman,” he grinned.
“Yeah, what’s her name?”
“Justina.” [dunt dunt DUNNNNNNNNNNN!]
“What’s she like?”
“She’s about 27 or so, with curly copper hair, and these incredible blue eyes. They’re so beautiful.” [who gives out that kind of information upon being asked that question? Is the age significant unless it’s like, 17 or 87? Now that would make for an interesting story.]
“Sounds terrific! Where’d you meet her?”
“At this dance thing my brother dragged me to.” [a dance? A DANCE? Oh, I give up.] He looked away, into the crowd of people. “Wonder where he is.”
Angelica stood to help him search. She felt 2 hands cover her eyes.
“Guess who?”
“OJ Simpson?”
“Nope.”
“Homer Simpson?”
“D’oh! Nope – one more try.”
“Uhmm … Rick?”
“Give the woman a beer! Or at least a Zima or something.” [Yes. I wrote that. Wowlions.]
“Hey Rick.” She hugged him.
“Hey Angie.”
“Nice bowtie,” she said, taking in Rick’s neon pink neckwear.
“Thank you. Nice toenail polish.”
Angel looked down at her feet.
“Gotcha!” Rick cried in glee. [Oh, what a hilarious throwback to Sting’s party. Rick, you are a card.]
“Hi guys,” Greeted Sting, joining the group. “And gal.”
“Hey Sting.”
Much to Angel’s dismay, she had become thrust straight into the middle of the party.
“What’re we doing all alone here in the corner? Let’s mingle!” With a happy shriek, Sting moved into other swells of people. The party lasted until the wee hours of the morning, and Angel had a better time than she had expected [well thank goodness].
After the festivities were over, Angel packed her bags for Tupelo and Chris’ plane landed in St. Paul, Minnesota.
NOTES:
1) Wow, y'all, remember Zima? Those commercials were always on in the early 90's. "Zomething different!" Oh, the 90's. I wore so much flannel.
2) So Danny is a struggling actor in LA? And so busy with "projects" that he can't remember to call his only sister, who also apparantly can't remember to call him, despite the fact that both of their parents died in a horrific car accident years ago? Okaaaaaaaaaaay.
3) I think I can promise that this the only chapter that mentions OJ Simpson.
Coming up next … Chris + Arn + tape recorder = crying. You won’t want to miss this one. Join us next week for …
Chapter 45 – No Secrets, Part I
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Chapter 43: The Big Day
Salutations, friends. In last week’s thrilling chapter, Alex misplaced her French Maid costume and Barry made out with her until Dustin woke up from his nightmare in a convulsive fit of sobs. Then tissues spontaneously generated in Angel’s living room and he went back to sleep. Today: wedding! Bring it.
Chapter 43 – The Big Day
Angel sat next to Sting in the second pew at St. Joseph’s Church.
“Angel! You look fantastic!” he whispered, taking in Angel’s light blue dress. [did she buy it as part of a matching set with her couch?]
“Thanks! I hardly recognized you in that tux! Pretty spiffy!” she whispered back. [I do hope he’s wearing his facepaint as part of the ensemble.]
Rick and Scott Steiner found Angel and Sting and sat in the row behind them.
“Hey, Angie! Hey Stinger!”
The church was quieted and the organ sounded. Alexandra York, arm in arm with her father, entered. Her dress was exquisite. Pure white with a laced neck and sleeves. A long veil and train trailed behind her. She carried a bouquet of lilacs and baby’s breath that matched her bridesmaids’ gowns perfectly [why, why, why is this the only description of their dresses?]. Her dark-tan skin was glowing, and she was smiling from ear to ear as she approached Dustin. She stepped up to the alter [sic. But when you think about it, it works as a verb too] and turned to face her husband-to-be.
The minister cleared his throat and began.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of this man and woman in holy matrimony. Do you, Alexandra Denise York, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and health, for rich or for poor, to death do you part?”
“I do.”
“And do you, Dustin Matthew Rhodes, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for rich and for poor, to death do you part?”
“I do.”
“Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Dustin didn’t need to be told twice. He kissed her as he had never kissed her before. The church burst into applause. Rick Steiner whistled loudly. Scott elbowed him. Angel giggled.
“You think this is bad—at our sister Crystal’s wedding, he kept asking where to buy peanuts,” Scott said.
Everyone stood as the happy couple made their exit.
NOTES:
1) Alex’s dress: Pure white with a laced neck and sleeves. H A W T. I have an excellent picture of this in my head, but so far I haven’t found anything via google images to match it. Do let me know if any of y’all have any luck.
2) That was the shortest wedding ceremony ever. Not a bad thing. But man, why not the “speak now or forever hold your peace”? Considering the fact that at the time of writing this, the only weddings I’d ever seen were on soap operas, you would think that the Dullexandra nuptials would have been a crazy drama-infested throwdown. Alas. On a related note, has anyone ever been to an actual wedding where they say that “speak now” bit? Slice and I thought it would have been funny if the judge at our wedding said it and then stared at the crowd for a full three minutes.
3) I do not understand why I was completely incapable of writing comedy. But as evidenced by any of Rick’s “goofball antics,” I most assuredly was.
COMING UP NEXT
I didn’t know the word for “reception,” so I called it “The Wedding Party.” This chapter includes: a reference to Mysterious Brother Danny, some trademark Rick goofball antics, and a couple dozen more reasons to loathe Angel. See you next time in …
Chapter 44 – The Wedding Party
Chapter 43 – The Big Day
Angel sat next to Sting in the second pew at St. Joseph’s Church.
“Angel! You look fantastic!” he whispered, taking in Angel’s light blue dress. [did she buy it as part of a matching set with her couch?]
“Thanks! I hardly recognized you in that tux! Pretty spiffy!” she whispered back. [I do hope he’s wearing his facepaint as part of the ensemble.]
Rick and Scott Steiner found Angel and Sting and sat in the row behind them.
“Hey, Angie! Hey Stinger!”
The church was quieted and the organ sounded. Alexandra York, arm in arm with her father, entered. Her dress was exquisite. Pure white with a laced neck and sleeves. A long veil and train trailed behind her. She carried a bouquet of lilacs and baby’s breath that matched her bridesmaids’ gowns perfectly [why, why, why is this the only description of their dresses?]. Her dark-tan skin was glowing, and she was smiling from ear to ear as she approached Dustin. She stepped up to the alter [sic. But when you think about it, it works as a verb too] and turned to face her husband-to-be.
The minister cleared his throat and began.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of this man and woman in holy matrimony. Do you, Alexandra Denise York, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and health, for rich or for poor, to death do you part?”
“I do.”
“And do you, Dustin Matthew Rhodes, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for rich and for poor, to death do you part?”
“I do.”
“Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Dustin didn’t need to be told twice. He kissed her as he had never kissed her before. The church burst into applause. Rick Steiner whistled loudly. Scott elbowed him. Angel giggled.
“You think this is bad—at our sister Crystal’s wedding, he kept asking where to buy peanuts,” Scott said.
Everyone stood as the happy couple made their exit.
NOTES:
1) Alex’s dress: Pure white with a laced neck and sleeves. H A W T. I have an excellent picture of this in my head, but so far I haven’t found anything via google images to match it. Do let me know if any of y’all have any luck.
2) That was the shortest wedding ceremony ever. Not a bad thing. But man, why not the “speak now or forever hold your peace”? Considering the fact that at the time of writing this, the only weddings I’d ever seen were on soap operas, you would think that the Dullexandra nuptials would have been a crazy drama-infested throwdown. Alas. On a related note, has anyone ever been to an actual wedding where they say that “speak now” bit? Slice and I thought it would have been funny if the judge at our wedding said it and then stared at the crowd for a full three minutes.
3) I do not understand why I was completely incapable of writing comedy. But as evidenced by any of Rick’s “goofball antics,” I most assuredly was.
COMING UP NEXT
I didn’t know the word for “reception,” so I called it “The Wedding Party.” This chapter includes: a reference to Mysterious Brother Danny, some trademark Rick goofball antics, and a couple dozen more reasons to loathe Angel. See you next time in …
Chapter 44 – The Wedding Party
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Chapter 42: Cry in the Night
Last week, Dustin showed up at Angel's house, cried on her, and slept on her sofa. But you know what? He really didn't cry enough. You could barely even call it "egregious." What do you say we make up for it today in ...
Chapter 42: Cry in the Night
Dustin stepped into his bedroom. Alex was sitting up waiting for him.
“Dustin! What’re you doing here?”
“What?”
“Don’t bother explaining. Barry told me it all.” She said nonchalantly.
“You … you … you were talking to Barry?”
“Well, yeah. I’m just surprised you didn’t find out sooner.”
“Find out what?”
“That I’m sleeping with him.”
“A … Ah … Alex. [ellipses between letters = awesome] You … you and he didn’t. He was lying.”
“Oh, come off it, Dustin.” She yawned. “Barry!” she called, “Come here!”
Barry Windham appeared from the bathroom.
“Hey, Dustin,” he greeted, as if nothing had ever happened between them. Barry climbed into bed with Alexandra.
“What kind of a joke is this? Alex, you’re gonna marry me!”
Alexandra York laughed. “I never said I’d marry you! Did you hear that, Barry?”
Barry was too consumed with laughter to reply.
“Now, Dustin, if you’ll excuse us, we have fantasies to act out! Barry, where’d you put my French Maid outfit?” She searched in the closet.
“Alex …” Dustin pleaded. Tears rolled down his cheeks. “I love you.”
Alexander came out of her closet and approached Dustin. “I know you do. But I don’t love you. I never did. You have to stop blocking out the past. I chose Barry, not you. I’m going to marry him.”
“No. No you didn’t. You’ve got it all wrong, Alex.”
“Dustin, stop it!” She was irritated now. Barry stood next to her.
“C’mon Alex,” said Barry. “Let’s pretend he’s gone, and maybe he’ll take the hint.” Barry wrapped his lips around hers and she melted into his arms.
“No! No! No!” Dustin yelled. “No!” He broke off and began to sob, chest convulsing. [convulsing? That’s something, even for Dustin.]
Angel ran down the stairs as soon as she heard Dustin’s shouts. [Angel? What’s she doing in Dustin’s bedroom … wait a minute … don’t tell me that was all a dream? Awww shucks.]
“Dustin? Oh my god, are you allright?” she stopped when she saw that he was in bed, safe. She rushed over to him and shook him gently. Dustin stopped thrashing around, but couldn’t stop crying [of course].
“Dustin, honey, it’s only a nightmare, wake up.” She shook him harder and he awoke with a start. “Dustin, it was a nightmare, calm down.” She grasped his shoulders.
“Oh, Angel. Thank god.” He blurted out, panting. He wiped at his eyes. Angel handed him a [wait for it … wait for it …] box of tissues. [HUZZAH!]
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Dustin shook his head.
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I’ll be Okay.”
“You had me scared half to death.”
“Did I scream or something?”
“Yeah. You sure you’re all right?”
“Yeah. Go back to sleep, I’m fine.”
“Okay. Sweet dreams, Dustin.” She kissed his forehead.
NOTES:
1) I would say: “wait, how was that a chapter? All that happened was Dustin had a nightmare, cried, and got handed tissues.” But Barry was in it, Dustin got shot down, and Alex had lines. I’ll take it.
2) Dustin, why are you such a wuss in your own dream? Crying while conscious is not enough for you, is it? You have to turn into a puddle of tears while you’re sleeping too?
3) Barry’s strategy for getting Dustin out of the room was awesome. Let’s make out and he’ll leave. Solid plan, my friend.
COMING UP NEXT:
Will Dustin tell Alex about Barry’s outburst or Angel’s couch? Who will Angel share her buffet plate with? Will someone speak now, or will peace forever be held? Find out next week in …
Chapter 43: The Big Day
Chapter 42: Cry in the Night
Dustin stepped into his bedroom. Alex was sitting up waiting for him.
“Dustin! What’re you doing here?”
“What?”
“Don’t bother explaining. Barry told me it all.” She said nonchalantly.
“You … you … you were talking to Barry?”
“Well, yeah. I’m just surprised you didn’t find out sooner.”
“Find out what?”
“That I’m sleeping with him.”
“A … Ah … Alex. [ellipses between letters = awesome] You … you and he didn’t. He was lying.”
“Oh, come off it, Dustin.” She yawned. “Barry!” she called, “Come here!”
Barry Windham appeared from the bathroom.
“Hey, Dustin,” he greeted, as if nothing had ever happened between them. Barry climbed into bed with Alexandra.
“What kind of a joke is this? Alex, you’re gonna marry me!”
Alexandra York laughed. “I never said I’d marry you! Did you hear that, Barry?”
Barry was too consumed with laughter to reply.
“Now, Dustin, if you’ll excuse us, we have fantasies to act out! Barry, where’d you put my French Maid outfit?” She searched in the closet.
“Alex …” Dustin pleaded. Tears rolled down his cheeks. “I love you.”
Alexander came out of her closet and approached Dustin. “I know you do. But I don’t love you. I never did. You have to stop blocking out the past. I chose Barry, not you. I’m going to marry him.”
“No. No you didn’t. You’ve got it all wrong, Alex.”
“Dustin, stop it!” She was irritated now. Barry stood next to her.
“C’mon Alex,” said Barry. “Let’s pretend he’s gone, and maybe he’ll take the hint.” Barry wrapped his lips around hers and she melted into his arms.
“No! No! No!” Dustin yelled. “No!” He broke off and began to sob, chest convulsing. [convulsing? That’s something, even for Dustin.]
Angel ran down the stairs as soon as she heard Dustin’s shouts. [Angel? What’s she doing in Dustin’s bedroom … wait a minute … don’t tell me that was all a dream? Awww shucks.]
“Dustin? Oh my god, are you allright?” she stopped when she saw that he was in bed, safe. She rushed over to him and shook him gently. Dustin stopped thrashing around, but couldn’t stop crying [of course].
“Dustin, honey, it’s only a nightmare, wake up.” She shook him harder and he awoke with a start. “Dustin, it was a nightmare, calm down.” She grasped his shoulders.
“Oh, Angel. Thank god.” He blurted out, panting. He wiped at his eyes. Angel handed him a [wait for it … wait for it …] box of tissues. [HUZZAH!]
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Dustin shook his head.
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I’ll be Okay.”
“You had me scared half to death.”
“Did I scream or something?”
“Yeah. You sure you’re all right?”
“Yeah. Go back to sleep, I’m fine.”
“Okay. Sweet dreams, Dustin.” She kissed his forehead.
NOTES:
1) I would say: “wait, how was that a chapter? All that happened was Dustin had a nightmare, cried, and got handed tissues.” But Barry was in it, Dustin got shot down, and Alex had lines. I’ll take it.
2) Dustin, why are you such a wuss in your own dream? Crying while conscious is not enough for you, is it? You have to turn into a puddle of tears while you’re sleeping too?
3) Barry’s strategy for getting Dustin out of the room was awesome. Let’s make out and he’ll leave. Solid plan, my friend.
COMING UP NEXT:
Will Dustin tell Alex about Barry’s outburst or Angel’s couch? Who will Angel share her buffet plate with? Will someone speak now, or will peace forever be held? Find out next week in …
Chapter 43: The Big Day
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)