Chapter 14: A Turn of Events

Just in case it’s not painfully obvious, I was pretty sick of Marty. Here is his swan song. It’s a particularly inelegant sendoff. But not quite as inelegant as Bru’s.

Chapter 14: A Turn of Events


Marty had not come home last night. Anjel sat in her room in a hotel in Maine, worrying when he finally came home at 7:00 AM he fell fast asleep on his couch. She walked through his open door she nearly tripped over a briefcase she picked it up and it fell open a piece of U.S.A. Wrestle World. [woah run on sentence] It was a very respectable magazine. She opened it and read it while walking back to her room. It was about Marty Jannetty who had just arrived in the USWF! He had a scantily clad manager named Magnificent Marie. There was a picture of Marty and Marie in a liplock. Marie had long flowing black hair that fell to her waist [sound familiar?]. Anjel also read that Marty, when asked about former manager and perhaps even lover, he said “Anjel? Sure we had something—for maybe 5 seconds. Just another pretty face. Dumb Blonde. Now Marie …”

DUMB BLONDE!! She began to cry, which she hardly ever did. [?!?!] She loved him and she was just another pretty face. She cried harder than she had ever cried before. Her phone rang. Mr. Perfect heard the phone. He knocked on her door and opened it when there was no answer. He saw her crying.

“Anjel, honey, what’s wrong?” she handed him the clipping, minus the photo, and he hugged her tightly after reading it. Brutus heard the commotion and came in.

“Oh my gosh, what happened?” Anjel handed him the magazine clipping. He touched her on her shoulder and said “Don’t worry I’ll go talk to him.” He went into Marty’s dressing room and woke him from his sleep.

“Whaaaaa? Brutus? Go away! I’m sleeping.” He said in a murmur.

Brutus flicked the lights on and shoved the article in his face. “What the heck do you think you were doing?” he said [woah awkward verb tenses]

“Oh, this? Well it’s all true. I don’t need her. I’m officially leaving on Tuesday.” He said rubbing his eyes.

“You scum! She saved your life! How could you just toss her aside?”

“It’s a free country!” [touché] he said, now awake. “Now, Please, get out.”

Brutus shook his head in disgust. He left the room and went into Anjel’s room.

“Look Anjel, I know that this is not the best time to tell you this, but I’m moving back to San Francisco.” Said Brutus. “I’ll write. I promise you. My plane leaves in ½ an hour. I’ll miss you so much.” He said and kissed her goodbye. He left before he could cry in front of Mr. Perfect [hallelujah]

“The nerve of that guy! You think he’d tell you in advance! How could he drop a bombshell on you with that kind of impact. Especially now.” said Mr. Perfect

Anjel sobbed “My whole life is falling apart.”

Mr. Perfect squoze her tightly. “Don’t worry, Anjel. Everything will turn out OK. Every thing is going to be OK” he soothed. “Look, I know how you feel. When Nightshade left me, I thought things could not get any worse, but now with Bobby and Ric Hating my guts, I guess they did. [now there are some words of encouragement]. But, Anjel, I want you to remember one thing no matter how bad things get for either of us (pause) I’ll always love you.” [somebody cue Whitney Houston]

She locked eyes with him and replied, in a quavering voice “I’ll always love you, too. Forever.” She swallowed and said “Thank you so much. You don’t know how much better you made me feel by saying that.” They just kind of sat like that for a while, with Mr. Perfect’s arms around Anjel’s shoulders. He did not want to leave her until he was sure she would be OK. Finally after along time spent talking softly to one another about things like their childhood, their parents, ad their homes, anything to keep Anjel’s mind off of Current times Anjel fell asleep on Mr. Perfect’s shoulder. Being tired himself, he gently laid her down on the couch and spread a blanket over her, trying hard not to awake her [or the readers. Zzzz]

Anjel awoke around 11:00 AM next morning. Painful memories of the night before came back. She showered and changed her clothes.

The next two weeks were hard. Anjel had never felt so alone in her life. Mr. Perfect was there for her, but ever since his split with Flair, he’d been obsessed with revenge. Anjel needed a job—badly. [what, no offers to be a doctor?] She had gone to countless job interviews, filled out infinate resumes until one day, she found a job. She was over-qualified for it and knew that it was something that she would enjoy doing. It was time to begin a new life. With her new career as a first aid Nurse for WCW.

THE END???

This is not the end. It is merely the beginning of a new life for Anjel, with new relationships, new enemies, and most importantly, new friends. Continued in BOOK 2 – Angelica’s New Life

NOTES:

1) Why is Marty carrying around magazine clippings in a briefcase? Wait, why does Marty even have a briefcase? He’s a professional wrestler, not an investment banker.

2) Man. Brutus has some timing in announcing his trip back to SF. I wonder if he’s trying to get me to write Reunited Part III.

3) So by this point in my career as a wrestling fan, I was starting to like WCW more than WWF. No, this has nothing to do with the Monday Night Wars or the Outsiders or any of the stuff that made WCW popular in the Nitro era. This was 1993. The Hollywood Blondes, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, 2 Cold Scorpio … why did I get so obsessed? No clue. But I did. And I decided that I needed to shake things up. So off to WCW goes our sparkling Mary Sue! But what horrible allergies and fonts of tears await her there? You’ll find out in … Chapter 1: Introductions. [Yes, I restarted the chapters. Hey, it's a free country!]

Goodbye - Middle Names, Continued

(just joining us? hello! please check out the introduction)

Well, that was quite a cliffhanger yesterday, wasn't it? I mean, Brutus hadn't seen Marty in at least 5 hours. Where could he have gone? And what will Anjel do without his compelling presence? All your questions will be answered today in ...


GOODBYE - MIDDLE NAMES, CONTINUED

It has been 2 weeks since Anjel has read that note. In a split second decision she knew what she had to do. She couldn’t live without Marty. So she is trekking the universe, searching for him. The friends of the now seperated inseperable duo are greatly saddened by this development. Anjel sends regular post cards. So far she has covered ½ of Georgia without any luck. But then one day, -- 2 months later
Anjel stopped into a café for some coffee. As she found a seat, she saw a familiar back of a head [surely he didn’t have the only mullet in Georgia.]
“It can’t be!” she said to herself
But it was. Marty was sitting in a booth.
2 seats away from Anjel.
“Marty!” she screamed across the café [I thought he was only 2 seats away?]
Marty looked up and saw Anjel! They ran to each other. Anjel began to cry
“I thought I’d never see you again” said Anjel through her tears.
“Hey don’t cry Dr. Theodosia?”
Anjel looked up.
“Doctor?”
And with that they knew something was screwy.
It took them 2 hours, but they finally figured it out. They walked out beneath the peach trees and dendrohn bushes, hand in hand.
“My gosh it’s beautiful in Georgia.”
“Yeah, I love it here.”
“I know why.”
“Know what else I love?”
“What” asked Angel.
“I love you”
“I love you, too.”
They kissed each other. [I had the word “deeply” crossed out here. Too risqué.]
“Anjel, will you marry me?”
“Yes.”

[And here’s the telegram I had Anjel send home. Yes, a telegram.]

Dear Brutus + Mr. P + Sherry
I found him! STOP
GETTING MARRIED STOP
LOVE ANJEL

[then I wrote a guest list for the wedding. I’ll spare you, because it’s basically just a list of my favorite wrestlers, although I did color code them to indicate whether they were friends of the bride or friends of the groom]

[here’s the invitation. It is remarkably devoid of swirlies]

A WEDDING

Time – 12:00 PM
Day – May 1st, 92
AT – St. John’s Cathedral
For Marty Jannetty + Charlotte (Anjel) Theodosia
Note: this wedding is a goodbye to the couple, they are moving to Georgia

~~~After the wedding~~~

Brutus came up to Anjel – Mrs. Charlotte Theodosia Jannetty.
“Congrats Anjel” he said and hugged her. Anjel noticed some moisture in Brutuses’ eyes. [FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, DO YOU EVER STOP CRYING?]
“Do you always cry at weddings?” she asked with a few tears of her own forming.
“Naw, it’s just … Aw to heck with it I don’t want to see you two go!” the tears spilled over his cheeks. Anjel hugged him warmly.
“I don’t want to see you go either, Brutus, but we’ll write letters, O.K.?” [yes, but how can you be sure they won’t be forged??]
“Yeah, O.K.” Brutus sniffled and smiled he went over to Marty.
“You’re beautiful.” said Mr. Perfect smiling at Anjel. “Marty is very lucky.” [what, no tears?]
“Thank you, Mr. Perfect.”
“I … I … I’m really going to miss you.” said Mr. P. fighting the tears back and trying to force the lump in his throat down. He didn’t succeed, they streamed down his face. [about time. sheesh] She hugged him.
“Hey, don’t cry over me,” she said.
“Too late” he managed to smile
“Oops, looks like I’m crying over you, I am going to miss you too.” said a teary-eyed Anjel.
-------------------
There were more tear filled goodbyes until, it was time to go
-------------------
“Goodbye everyone, we’ll write! We’ll miss you all!” said Mr. + Mrs. Jannetty
-------------------
They both moved to Georgia and had a wonderful life together. They always wrote to Mr. P, Brutus, and Sherri and visited and called often.

So, you ask is this the end? There are so many unanswered questions.

THE END

Notes

1) I know I expressed disbelief about this when I typed it, but it’s worth mentioning again. A telegram? Seriously? Why does no one use a phone?

2) Anjel treks across Georgia in search of Marty? WTF is she doing, knocking on random folks’ doors? I assume Marty went to stay with his family … why didn’t she check there first?

3) So after I finished this story, I realized that I had written myself into a hole. They got married, they’re happy … uhh … now what? I thought that tag about unanswered questions would help, but then I realized that there really weren’t any. I tried continuing by just writing about Mr. Perfect (that story is coming up next), but that just didn’t cut it for me. I missed my Mary Sue.

After trying out a couple of different things (a few more torn-out pages are evidence of this), I had a brilliant idea. All I had to do was add these words to the end of the story: “This is the WWF’s explanation of why Marty and Anjel left the federation. But wouldn’t you love to hear THE REAL STORY?”

Ta-da! See … wrestling is fake. I knew that. I wrote like it wasn’t, but I exploited the fact that it was when I needed to.

Coming up next: “A Perfect Point of View” – I wrote this before I came up with the aforementioned brilliant way to rewrite history. I tried writing a story without Anjel in it. I failed. Mr. Perfect can’t help but contact her. Oh well. At least we meet some new characters. And, as a bonus, no allergies and no crying! Super bonus: kissing!

Chapter 11: "Reunited: Part II"

(new here? hi! please check out the introduction)

I hadn't planned on making a sequel to "Reunited," but then I decided that it was very important. You're the winners here, folks. This is freaking awful. This is also where things get super dramatic! It’s so dramatic that I wrote “Who are True Friends?” in the top margin.

Chapter 11: Reunited PT. 2 [I stopped numbering chapters at this point, but I’ll keep it up here for aesthetic purposes]

Stagehand Steve Scharner was lifting some large and heavy boxes.
Marty’s flu was drifting him into sleep. His 102 degree fever had risen to 102.7. Anjel was mopping his forehead with a damp cloth. He mumbled something incoherently and fell asleep. Anjel kissed him on the forehead and went to the little table to finish some paperwork. [ooh … a language arts problem this time? Maybe the critical thinking questions at the end of a social studies chapter?]
Brutus was lifting lightweights in the gym below the dressing room area, 25 more pumps and to the showers. Then he could go up to Laurie.
Laurie Traynor was peering into the store room where musclebound Steve paused to mop his brow. She walked out into the hall way into the storeroom.
“Hi.” she said.
“Hi.” he said putting the box and looking at her slim figure and beautiful features.
Anjel wet the cloth again. Marty was tossing and turning. She cooled his face and felt his forehead.
Brutus headed for the showers.
Meanwhile Laurie was moving closer to Steve.
Anjel squoze Marty’s hand and went back to the table.
Laurie was passionatly kissing Steve. [dang. She moves fast]
Brutus was looking for Laurie.
He found her. Kissing Steve.
Laurie gasped.
“I … I … Brutus … I We …”
Steve left abruptly.
Anjel saw that Marty was sleeping soundly and walked into her dressing room.
“Brutus. We had something great, but it’s gone. We’re no more than friends. I’ve booked a flight to San Francisco. I’m leaving soon. I’ll always remember you as the man I wanted to marry, But now, you’re the man who I was a friend of. Good bye, Brutus.” she said. [that’s way less awkward than half the ways I broke up with people in real life]
She Pecked him on the cheek, and all of a sudden she was gone. Leaving Brutus open mouthed and heart broken. He needed a friend. Someone to talk to. Hulk was gone. Marty was sick. Anjel. He knocked on her door.
“Come in.” she said
“Brutus stepped in. Tears must have been streaming down his face, because Anjel rushed over to him and led him to the bed to sit down [a bed? In a dressing room?]. She asked him “What’s the matter?”
“Laurie left me” he said softly.
Anjel wrapped her arms around him and felt her shoulder dampen from Brutus’ tears.
Brutus was a little embarrassed because he was crying on a girls’ shoulder but Anjel did not seem to mind, and he was to upset to care. Plus he wasn’t sobbing, just silent tears. [hurl!]
They both sat like that for a long time. No one saying anything, just Brutus crying softly with Anjel holding him. The only words were an occasional “It’s O.K., It’s O.K.,” from Anjel while she hugged him and Moved her hand in an up and down pattern to calm him down” [just in case you weren’t sure of the mechanics of comforting a friend, I spelled it out for you in simple steps!]
[Alright, I’m cutting a page out here … it’s just more of him crying and her comforting him. She even hands him one of those blasted tissues she seems to produce at will. Trust me, you’re not missing anything. Brutus finally composes himself enough to speak]
“We seemed so happy together. Then I came upstairs from the gym and showers and there she was, kissing the stagehand. She said that all we could be was friends, that our love had died, and left me.”
Then he saw Anjel was crying.
“It’s my fault” she said “I set you two up. If I hadn’t have brought you and Laurie together this would nave never happened. You wouldn’t be upset. You’d be your normal happy self.”
“You’re wrong, Anjel. I wouldn’t be happy, I would be miserable. I would be wondering what my lost love Laurie. It’s her fault for being a jerk, not yours for being nice. You flew to San Francisco to be nice, to help a friend. And I thank you. You are a very wonderful friend, Anjel.” [whatever, Bru … you should have told her to stuff it]
They both stared into each other’s tear-streaked face and red and puffy eyes. “Thank you” they said at the same time. And poor asleep Marty missed it all.



NOTES:

1- In real life, Marty Jannetty had disappeared from the scene because he had to work out some personal problems. Out of sight, out of mind for me, as evidenced by his persistent flu and the awesome last line of this chapter.

2. This chapter was originally followed by one called “One good Turn.” I don’t remember what went on in that one, but I evidently hated it, because I ripped it out. (that’s evidence of self-editing. I know, I can barely believe it myself). All that’s left is the title and one line of scribbled-over text that says “Marty was miraculously 100% better.” Tough break, Marty. Looks like you had a chance in that chapter. Oh well.

Coming up next: “Goodbye. < Middle Names II” – in which Miss Elizabeth takes her revenge! You don't want to miss this one. It's ... just ... unabashedly bad.

Chapter 9: Reunited

So this is the one that inspired me to share. It's bad. It's got terrible dialogue, of course, but it's also got some awesome pacing. I had characters make and act on rash decisions -- such as travelling across the country to find a friend's long-lost girlfriend -- in a matter of seconds. Trying to find a bathroom, however, took a considerably longer time.

Enjoy!

Chapter 9: Reunited

A lonely and depressed Brutus Beefcake sat in his dressing room staring at an old photograph. A knock came from his door.
“Come in” he said.
“25 minutes til the Barber Shop, Brutus” said Anjel.
“Thanks” he said in an empty and sad voice. [gee, he seems a bit down]
Angel closed the door.
“What’s wrong Brutus?” she asked softly.
“I found this old picture of my girlfriend Laurie Traynor” Brutus said handing the photo to Anjel. Laurie was pretty. She had short brown hair and big blue eyes.
“What happened to her?” asked Anjel.
“We had just finished high school. We were both aspiring hair stylists. We really loved each other and I was going to ask her to marry me. Vince McMahon came one day and asked me if I wanted to consider professional wrestling. Laurie knew how much this meant to me and told me to go for it. I asked her to come with me, but her life was in San Francisco she couldn’t leave, but she said to live out my dream. I still remember the day I left, we were both crying when I boarded the train …” he broke off and tears filled his eyes.
Anjel hugged him for a long time. Brutus really needed that. He wiped his eyes.
“Thanks, Anjel.” He said, “Can I have a few minutes to think?” he asked
“Sure,” said Anjel and closed the door softly behind her.
Poor Brutus! His story had almost made Anjel cry. She went ino to check on Marty who had the flue and a 102 degree temperature [sick again?!?]. She told him Brutus’s story and he agreed that something had to be done
Marty assured Anjel that he would be fine on his own so Anjel booked a flight to San Francisco. When she looked in the phone book and found-

Laurel Traynor
76 Viking Ave

Anjel hopped a cab and rang the doorbell of 76 Viking Ave. A young woman with shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes opened the door [see? Time passed. Her hair grew.]
“Are you Laurie Traynor?”
“Yes.”
“Did you know a man named Brutus Beefcake?”
“Oh, my God. Brutus. Please Come in.”
Anjel told Laurie the entire story from who she was to the talk she had with Brutus.
They booked a flight to Washington, where Wrestling Challenge was.
“Do you think he’ll recognize me?” asked Laurie.
“I’m positive” said Anjel and knocked on Brutus’ door.
“Come in”
“Brutus I’ve got someone who might cheer you up.” said Anjel and motioned for Laurie to go in. She closed the door behind Laurie.
“Laurie.”
“Brutus.”
“They moved a stop toward each other and embraced. Oh how good it felt to hold Laurie again!
--
Chapter 2 [a chapter within a chapter? Sure, why not?]

“Laurie … how did you … Where …” Brutus started.
“Just hold me, Brutus,” she said.
He did just that.
“I really missed you.” Laurie said.
“So did I.”
“When that lady came to my door …”
“Whoa. What lady?” Asked Brutus.
“She was a blonde … her name was Angelica … no … Angela? I don’t remember. I was so occupied with the though to seeing you again.” answered Laurie. [guess they didn’t talk much on the plane.]
“Anjel?” asked Brutus.
“Yes. Who is she … oh no! Not your wife?” asked Laurie.
“No. No. Just a very wonderful friend.” said Brutus
“That was a pretty long trip. Is there a bathroom nearby?” asked Laurie.
“straight down the hall” said Brutus.
“Thanks” said Laurie and left
Brutus sat down to think. “Anjel … what she did for me. She is so ….. I …. How can I thank her?”
Brutus had never had someone care about him so much. To think of what Anjel did is amazing. She has got a good heart. What a great friend. [hurl]
He walked 2 doors down to Marty’s dressing room since no one answered the knock at Anjel’s. Anjel answered Brutus knock.
“Shh Marty’s finally asleep.” [thus eliminating any further participation in the story] she whispered
“Anjel … you … I … Thank You.” said Brutus and hugged her.
“Anything for a friend.” whispered Anjel. She wiped a tear of joy welling up in her eye away.

Notes:

1) I obviously didn’t have a clue as to the actual function of a dressing room. Marty has the flu, but he’s in his dressing room? Brutus has a photo of an ex-girlfriend in his dressing room? I guess I just figured they were like apartments, and each wrestler had his/her own.

2) Anjel is seriously intrusive. Back off, lady.

3) I had a serious problem with dialogue tags. And adverbs. And ellipses. And vital discussions of where the bathroom is.

This story isn’t over. There’s a sequel coming up soon. There will be lots more egregious crying and ridiculous dialogue. And a pretty awesome break-up scene.

But first … Chapter 10: “Two Faces” – Wherein we meet Mr. Perfect, who also has a serious allergy. WTF was wrong with me?

video

(Thanks to SansMerci for sending me this!)

Here's a video of the Rockers breakup on the Barbershop, as referenced in my compelling short story, "Chapter 1: Points of View." Thanks for the link!! I loved watching it again. I had that clip on tape and rewatched it so many times that I had it memorized. It all came back to me while watching it again. The article that Brutus is holding up was the one I read into the tape player.

Chapter 2 - Resumes (part 1)

NOTE: If you have not yet done so, please read the introduction. Otherwise, you'll take this seriously. And that would be sad.

For whatever reason, I thought it would be a good idea to write résumés for the wrestlers and their managers. These “résumés” look more like those surveys you get in your inbox every three hours when you’re 15 or know a 15 year old.

I’m pretty sure any employer who asked for a résumé that looked like these would be investigated.

Enjoy!


(Full) Name (of manager): Charlotte “Anjel” Theodosia

(Full) Name (of wrestler): Martin Jannetty

Date of Birth (of manager): 7/22/69 [that’s Shawn Michaels’ birthdate. I think that’s an early attempt at irony on my part.]

Date of Birth (of wrestler): 2/3/67 [ok, I had to guess at his age, but that’s totally his real birthdate. Wikipedia it if you don’t believe me. But you should. I had pretty much every WWF trading card memorized.]

Height (of manager): 5’7 ½“ [interestingly enough, that’s exactly how tall I am today! How prescient of 11-year old me!]

Height (of wrestler): 5’ 11”

Allergies (of manager): none

Allergies (of wrestler): daisies – hay fever [I can’t believe he revealed this secret!]

fears (of manager): heights

fears (of wrestler): hospitals

hometown (of manager): Roseberry, Idaho

hometown (of wrestler): Columbus, Georgia

personality (of manager): caring, sweet, yet not whiny, sense of humor, happy stands up for what she believes in, smart, patient

personality (of wrestler): nice, kind, loyal [I added this word later in blue pen], loves fun, patient, you don’t want to be his enemy, soft-spoken, funny, shy, friendly, trusting

best friends (of manager): Marty Jannetty

best friends (of wrestler): Charlotte Theodosia [ugg. You two need to get out more]

physical features (of manager): blond hair bluish green eyes; wears red or yellow, smiles a lot, fair skin, slight build; nice figure [like one of the Wakefield twins, but a walking advertisement for McDonald’s?]

physical features (of wrestler): reddish brown hair; blue-gray eyes; bright colored clothes; slightly tanned; good build; no facial hair

Where did manager and wrestler meet? Barber Shop – Jan 12, 1992. Marty received medical attention from Anjel.

Manager’s sex – F [there’s actually a check box, but I don’t know how to make one here]

Sum up of relationship between wrestler + manager: Care for one another IMMENSELY. Nothing can break them up. Devoted to thier job and each other.

Goals: Intercontinental title belt

Worst enemy: Shan Micheals (see Misc.) Rick Martel

Misc.- Shawn Micheals used to be best friend

other friends: (wrestler) Brutus Beefcake
other friends= (manager) Brutus Beefcake Mr. Perfect [added in pen later. You’ll meet him soon]

Notes:

1) Roseberry, Idaho? It’s totally a real place. I had a set of encyclopedias in my room and would spend hours looking at maps for some reason. I really liked potatoes when I was little, so I thought Idaho was some sort of paradise. Consequently, I looked at the Idaho map a lot. Roseberry just sounded like a nice name for a town.

2) The Barber Shop isn’t, like, a Hair Cuttery. It was an interview segment hosted by Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake. (don’t worry; you’ll meet him soon). The break-up of The Rockers formally occurred when Shawn Michaels kicked Marty Jannetty and threw him through the plate glass window of the Barber Shop. It was pretty awesome. Anyhoo, I’m pretty sure some of the missing pages explains this incident via flashback. If memory serves me correctly, Anjel is some sort of EMT or something and she gives Marty first aid after the incident. Then (I don’t remember how), she becomes his manager.