Introduction

Hi there.

So when I was younger, pretty much my favorite thing in the world was professional wrestling. It was my life. Actually, I'm not quite sure I'm adequately conveying my feelings here ... professional wrestling was my life. I watched every second of every match on TV. I went to live shows and cheered my little lungs out. I made signs for these events. I made big, glitter-covered signs. I even made one in French for the wrestlers from Quebec, because I was certain they would appreciate my effort. I subscribed to magazines. I wrote in to magazines, sometimes under pseudonyms so that I could get more than one letter printed per issue (which did happen). And this was, like, 1992, when wrestling wasn't even particularly good. This was way before John Cena, Stone Cold, The Rock ... this was the era of Berzerker vs. Bret Hart being an acceptable main event on TV. Ask me if I cared. No. No I didn't. I was obsessed. The only problem was that the storylines on TV were never as detailed as I wanted them to be. And they always ended before things were explained or explored to my liking. So I made up extra bits to the stories in my head.

Where am I going with all of this? Well ... my other favorite thing when I was younger was creative writing. Less embarassing than my other main interest, no? Oh, just you wait. Anyhoo, when I was in sixth grade, one of my teachers said: "Writers write about what they know" ... when he said this, a little championship belt-shaped lightbulb went on above my head. I could write these stories down.

Oh man, did I ever.

Here is what I have only come to realize in the past few years: I was writing fan-fiction. If the internet had been around back in the day, I surely would have found out that I was not alone; as it happened, however, I thought that I was the only one who had a compulsion to continue, flesh out, and create stories based on professional wrestling. I now know that I had (and have) thousands of compadres all across the globe. I have since come to understand that what I wrote featured one of the Mary-Sueiest Mary Sues ever to sparkle across a page (her name was Angel, for the love of Pete) and some of the least realistic dialogue ever written.

Aaaaaaaaaanyhoo ... why am I telling all of you this? Because recently I moved into a new house and in the process of unpacking, I decided to peruse my archives. Wow. Wow. WOW. There really aren't words to describe my writing. Wait. There are two: unabashedly bad (hence the name of this blog). As I read through it again, I laughed until my eyes watered. "Too bad," I said to myself, "I can't show this to anyone, because even though this is hilarious and should be shared with the world, I am way too embarassed to actually let people know I wrote it."

Hello, internet!!!

So here you go, world. Here are some preliminary notes before I start posting the "chapters"

1) I'm transcribing everything in its original form. All the spelling mistakes, abuse of exclamation points, and ridiculously overwrought chapter titles are authentic. Any editorial comments will be added in brackets [like this].

2) The first couple of pages are missing because I traded them to my best friend in exchange for pages from her seventh-grade journal. (It's not my place to post any of that, but boy, you wish I could.) So I'll fill you in on the extensive "backstory" I created: The main character is named Anjelica Charlotte Theodosia, but she goes by "Anjel". (and we're just getting started here, folks). She's a nurse (or something ... I didn't really have a good idea of what that actually meant) by training, and found her way into the WWF right after the Rockers split up, because I was seriously crushing on Marty Jennety at that point in my life. She is 22, with blonde hair and blue eyes (of course) and she's pretty much the nicest, friendliest, most wonderful person EVER. I think that's all you really need to know.

3) I started writing this when I was 11 or 12. I'm not quite sure when I really stopped. To be brutally honest, I still add a couple pages here and there on occasion. It was really amusing for me to see how everything evolved as I got older ... the writing got better, the characters got more interesting, the plots got thicker, the dialogue got more realistic, and it got a heck of a lot raunchier.

4) I'm not posting this because I think it's good or because I want any kind of constructive criticism. I'm posting this because it's unabashedly bad and I hope it will entertain anyone who stumbles across it.

5) I wrote all of this in pencil in marble notebooks. I may occasionally also post amusing things I scrawled in the margins and on the front/back covers. Sorry I can't reproduce doodles.

Okay ... I think that's it for now ... I'm totally psyched about this. Hope there's someone out there who is also psyched!!!

Whee!