Greetings, all. Welcome to another installment of stuff that makes me cringe when I read it. In today's chapter, Scott reveals a little bit more of his stalker side and Rick is creepy about stuff. Enjoy!
Chapter 32 – Solitary Scott
“Why isn’t she home?” Scott murmured to himself, slamming the receiver into its cradle. Scott had been trying to reach Marie for the billionth time in two days. “If I could just talk to her, everything would be OK! I know it!”
“Talking to yourself again, little brother?” asked Rick, entering Scott’s room.
“Hey, Rick.”
“Still can’t get Marie?”
“No.”
“Maybe her phone is broken.”
“Naw. I drove to her house yesterday. Noone was there.” [have you considered implanting a tracking device under her skin?]
“I talked to Angie.”
“Yeah? How is she?”
“Good. She wants to talk to you.”
“She does?” [why does this surprise you? Rick talking to Angel = Angel interfering in your life.]
“Yeah. Saturday. She’ll come here.”
“Fine.” Normally, Scott would have been a little angry with Rick for making plans without asking him first [wtf?], but he was so preoccupied with Marie, he barely noticed.
“See you later, Scotty,” Rick said, closing Scotty’s door behind him as he left his room. [he lets Scott have his own room? With a door that shuts? Woah!]
Scott sighed and tried Marie once more. No answer.
Outside, thunder rolled and a storm began. Wind gusted, fluttering papers around in the room. Scott went over to the window to shut it and then picked the papers up from the floor. A small card caught his eye.
You are cordially invited
To the marriage of
Dustin Rhodes and
Alexandra York on
April Twenty-First at
Saint Joseph’s Church.
RSVP by April Second
Scotty had almost forgotten about Dustin’s wedding. “Marie and I were going to get married.” Scott thought to himself. [oh yeah? When did that happen? Methinks Scott is inventing stuff. Either that or I was] “Stop it, Scott! You’re not helping anything by getting yourself upset!” he admonished. Scott closed his eyes and shook his head. Talking to Angel would help. [how?]
NOTES
1) Oh gross, Steiners. Your relationship is weird and gross.
2) Scott, you are made of crazy. Obsess much? Rewrite history much? Wig out much? Oh, I guess I can’t blame you. Rick has obviously screwed with your head to the degree that you are incapable of maintaining any sort of healthy relationship with anyone else. Poor Scotty. You know what he needs? A healthy dose of AngelSense.
3) Where could Marie be? Maybe Scott should check the glasses aisle of Lame Disguises 'R Us.
COMING UP NEXT:
Violet's dastardly plan continues to unfold and Bobby mopes around some more. Sweet! Join us next time for ...
Chapter 33: Turning Up the Heat (part I)
Showing posts with label Marie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marie. Show all posts
Monday, March 16, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Chapter 29: Mail
Ok. Sorry again that this one is late. In this thrilling chapter, we get to read some of Angel's mail and endure a painfully "humor"-laden conversation that she has with Rick. Hooo boy!
Chapter 29: Mail
Angel had been away from home for two weeks. Mrs. Camaletti had been getting all of her mail for her. [well that’s a thrilling way to start a chapter]. On Mrs. Camaletti’s hall table, there were 4 letters declaring that Angelica Kerris could win 10 million dollars, 5 bills, a letter from the American Red Cross, a small envelope with a gold foil stamping, and another letter. [are y’all taking notes?]
Curious, she opened the small one first. The letter was an engraved invitation to … Dustin’s wedding! Finally! Oh, this was exciting. What would she wear? While her mind happily raced, the postmark on the other letter caught her eye. Silver Lake, Michigan.
“What’s that little vixen want now?” she said aloud. [seriously? She said that out loud?]
Angel read Marie’s letter.
Angel –
You make me sick. You weren’t content to just steal Mr. P. from me, you’re after Scotty too. Well forget about that. I’ll stop you—no matter what it takes.
~ Marie
Angel shook her head sadly and said out loud: “That woman is insane.”
The phone rang and Angel screamed. “I’ve got to learn to control myself,” she reprimanded herself.
“Camaletti residence.”
“Yes, this is the electric company. Is your refrigerator running?” [LOL. Not.]
“Old joke, Rick,” she laughed.
“Got me, Angie.” Rick Steiner said.
Angel had left Mrs. Camaletti’s phone number on her answering machine. She was glad Rick had called. Marie’s letter had upset her, and Ricks’ cheerful personality was just what she needed.
“How’s it going?” he asked.
“Okay. And you?”
“Bout the same.” [zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz]
“Good to hear. How’s Scott?”
“Not good. That’s mainly why I’m calling.” [so you can interfere in his life again because it’s not as if he’s an adult or anything and after all, you’ve known him for a whole, like, couple months]
“Oh? What’s the matter?”
“It’s Marie.”
“I figured as much. Did they break up?”
“No. But things aren’t good. I was wondering if you’d talk to Scotty Boy about this.”
“Me? Rick, I think I’d be the last one he’d want to talk to. This is practically all my fault.”
“Curt said you’d take the blame for this,” Rick said, more to himself than Angel. [you mean that she’d make it all about herself?]
“Mr. P? You’ve spoken to him?”
“Yeah. We’re good friends.”
“Scott too?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Hasn’t Mr. P. spoken to Scott about Marie?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“And Scott still wants to talk to me about this?”
“Yeah, why?”
“It’s just confusing, that’s all.”
“Yeah, why?” [oh just stick a spork in my pancreas]
“Rick!” Angel cried, feigning annoying playfully.
“Sorry. I couldn’t help it.”
“So will you talk to my brother?”
“Of course.”
“Good. We’ll be in Minnesota Friday. Is that OK?”
“No. Sorry. Chris and I are throwing Bobby a going-away-again-party.”
“Chris?”
“Chris Benoit. He’s my boyfriend.” [my characters are the worst communicators ever.]
“Oh. How ‘bout Saturday?”
“Fine with me.”
“We’re at the Capri Hotel. Know where it is?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. See you then.”
“Rick?”
“Yeah, Angie?”
“Give Mr. P. my phone number, will you?”
“Sure.”
“Thanks. Bye, Rick.”
“Seeya Angie.”
NOTES
1) So Angel’s Best Friend Ever, Mr. P., doesn’t even have her phone number??? No wonder it’s such a tragedy when people move. Out of sight, out of contact. Except for Rick Steiner, who calls Angel all the time so that she can talk some AngelSense into Young Scott’s life. What a good friend. Who apparently doesn’t even know that Angel has been dating Chris for several chapters now.
2) Could there have been less action in this chapter?
3) What is Marie’s deal, you ask? Why is she sending stupid letters to Angel? Remember, sending letters is her m.o. Too bad this one didn’t have anthrax inside it. I’ve heard that Angel was allergic to that. Anyhoo, don’t worry. We haven’t heard the last from Angel’s arch nemesis.
COMING UP NEXT:
Bobby seems upset but won't tell anyone why and Angel and Dustin talk about sex. Hawt. Join us next time for ...
Chapter 30: Something's On His Mind
Chapter 29: Mail
Angel had been away from home for two weeks. Mrs. Camaletti had been getting all of her mail for her. [well that’s a thrilling way to start a chapter]. On Mrs. Camaletti’s hall table, there were 4 letters declaring that Angelica Kerris could win 10 million dollars, 5 bills, a letter from the American Red Cross, a small envelope with a gold foil stamping, and another letter. [are y’all taking notes?]
Curious, she opened the small one first. The letter was an engraved invitation to … Dustin’s wedding! Finally! Oh, this was exciting. What would she wear? While her mind happily raced, the postmark on the other letter caught her eye. Silver Lake, Michigan.
“What’s that little vixen want now?” she said aloud. [seriously? She said that out loud?]
Angel read Marie’s letter.
Angel –
You make me sick. You weren’t content to just steal Mr. P. from me, you’re after Scotty too. Well forget about that. I’ll stop you—no matter what it takes.
~ Marie
Angel shook her head sadly and said out loud: “That woman is insane.”
The phone rang and Angel screamed. “I’ve got to learn to control myself,” she reprimanded herself.
“Camaletti residence.”
“Yes, this is the electric company. Is your refrigerator running?” [LOL. Not.]
“Old joke, Rick,” she laughed.
“Got me, Angie.” Rick Steiner said.
Angel had left Mrs. Camaletti’s phone number on her answering machine. She was glad Rick had called. Marie’s letter had upset her, and Ricks’ cheerful personality was just what she needed.
“How’s it going?” he asked.
“Okay. And you?”
“Bout the same.” [zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz]
“Good to hear. How’s Scott?”
“Not good. That’s mainly why I’m calling.” [so you can interfere in his life again because it’s not as if he’s an adult or anything and after all, you’ve known him for a whole, like, couple months]
“Oh? What’s the matter?”
“It’s Marie.”
“I figured as much. Did they break up?”
“No. But things aren’t good. I was wondering if you’d talk to Scotty Boy about this.”
“Me? Rick, I think I’d be the last one he’d want to talk to. This is practically all my fault.”
“Curt said you’d take the blame for this,” Rick said, more to himself than Angel. [you mean that she’d make it all about herself?]
“Mr. P? You’ve spoken to him?”
“Yeah. We’re good friends.”
“Scott too?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Hasn’t Mr. P. spoken to Scott about Marie?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“And Scott still wants to talk to me about this?”
“Yeah, why?”
“It’s just confusing, that’s all.”
“Yeah, why?” [oh just stick a spork in my pancreas]
“Rick!” Angel cried, feigning annoying playfully.
“Sorry. I couldn’t help it.”
“So will you talk to my brother?”
“Of course.”
“Good. We’ll be in Minnesota Friday. Is that OK?”
“No. Sorry. Chris and I are throwing Bobby a going-away-again-party.”
“Chris?”
“Chris Benoit. He’s my boyfriend.” [my characters are the worst communicators ever.]
“Oh. How ‘bout Saturday?”
“Fine with me.”
“We’re at the Capri Hotel. Know where it is?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. See you then.”
“Rick?”
“Yeah, Angie?”
“Give Mr. P. my phone number, will you?”
“Sure.”
“Thanks. Bye, Rick.”
“Seeya Angie.”
NOTES
1) So Angel’s Best Friend Ever, Mr. P., doesn’t even have her phone number??? No wonder it’s such a tragedy when people move. Out of sight, out of contact. Except for Rick Steiner, who calls Angel all the time so that she can talk some AngelSense into Young Scott’s life. What a good friend. Who apparently doesn’t even know that Angel has been dating Chris for several chapters now.
2) Could there have been less action in this chapter?
3) What is Marie’s deal, you ask? Why is she sending stupid letters to Angel? Remember, sending letters is her m.o. Too bad this one didn’t have anthrax inside it. I’ve heard that Angel was allergic to that. Anyhoo, don’t worry. We haven’t heard the last from Angel’s arch nemesis.
COMING UP NEXT:
Bobby seems upset but won't tell anyone why and Angel and Dustin talk about sex. Hawt. Join us next time for ...
Chapter 30: Something's On His Mind
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Chapter 25: The Truth
I knew y'all would be back after that intriguing cliffhanger. The snow is falling (where I live, at least) and there's an inauguration brewing ... what better way to celebrate both than with ...
Chapter 25: The Truth
A dam broke somewhere inside Angel [is it time to have the Detrol discussion?]. All of the tears she had been holding back rushed forward.
Chris pulled Angel to his chest and let her sob.
“Shh. Calm down. It’ll be okay, Angelica.”
“I’ve kept this in for so long, Chris.” [What? What? Oh, this is going to be good! There’s no way we’ll be disappointed by whatever this shocking revelation is!]
“You remember our first date when I told you about Marty?”
All of the feelings that had first filled her when she read the article telling of Marty’s move to the USWF entered her again. She had kept them down in a dark part of her mind for so long. The truth about Marty, the truth about Nightshade, known by no one but Marie and herself, would be told.
“Of course I remember it.” Chris said.
“I left out something. At the time, it seemed unimportant because you didn’t know who Marie was. But now that you do …”
“Only tell me if you want to, Angelica.” [I mean, this HAS to be serious. He’s calling her by her full name!]
“I need to, Chris.”
“Then go ahead.”
She sat up straight and wiped her eyes. This was going to be hard enough, crying wouldn’t help. Looking at her feet, she began. [Wow. What could it be? Did Marie tie her up and force her to watch as she and Marty took turns trashing all of Angel’s doo-wop 45’s? Did Marie and Marty collude to somehow exploit a secret, but debilitating, allergy Angel has? What? What?!?]
“The article had a photo with it. It was a picture of Marty kissing a woman named Magnificent Marie.”
“You mean …”
“Yes. The same Marie who had broken the heart of Mr. P and who is currently dating Scott Steiner stole Marty from me.” [ … And?]
“How can you be sure?”
“About a week after Marty left, I received a letter from Marie. I don’t remember exactly what she said in it, I think I burned it, but basically she called me a few names and told me that she finally got her revenge on me for stealing Mr. P.” [… And?!?]
“But if Marty loved you, why would he do that to you?”
“Who knows? She’s a beautiful woman. Marty was never that bright of a guy. She has incredible powers of manipulation.”
“How could she have been so sure that you’d read the article?”
“She probably told Marty to leave it where I would find it. Which I did.” [ … and …?}
“Why haven’t you told anyone else?” [because it’s completely stupid?]
“I couldn’t tell Mr. P., not after what she did to him. No one else knows about Marty, except for bobby, and he doesn’t know who Marie is. What worries me now is Scotty. Marie—there’s something wrong with her. She’s so revenge-crazed, even after all this time. What if she … I don’t even want to think about what she might do.”
There was a knock at the door. While Chris went to answer it, Angel washed her face.
“What’re you trying to do, Christopher? Lock us out?” bellowed a deep, jovial voice.
“Hi, Dad.” [Wait. Why don’t they have keys? It’s their house!!]
A large man, around sixty-five or so entered, He had graying black hair and piercing blue eyes.
“Where’s Nancy? Nancy!” he called. [ooh, wasn’t that Chris Benoit’s real life wife’s name? Yipes!]
A very small woman with light brown hair and soft brown eyes entered. She looked exactly like Chris.
“For Heaven’s sake, Pascal, you don’t have to shout! Oh, where are our manners? You must be Angelica. Chris has told me so much about you.”
“Don’t worry, most of it was good.” Chris’ Dad said as they shook hands.
Chris rolled his eyes but Angel laughed. It was easy to see where Chris got his sense of humor.
Dinner that night was delicious. Angel immediately liked Chris’ parents. After Nancy and Pascal Benoit went to bed, Chris and Angel stayed up to talk.
“You’re really close to your parents, aren’t you?”
“Yeah.” Said Chris, smiling. “They’re the greatest. So when can I meet yours?”
Angel looked down. “I’m afraid that wouldn’t be possible.”
“Why not? Did they disown your or something?” He laughed.
“No.” She said quickly.
“Then what … oh.” He said, suddenly realizing what she meant. “I’m sorry. That was really stupid of me.”
“You didn’t know.”
“I should’ve …”
“It’s okay.”
“When?”
“When I was young. There was an accident. There was glass everywhere. And the blood, so much blood.” She shuddered.
“Shh. Don’t talk about it anymore. It’s over now.” He soothed.
“Right.” Said Angel, snapping out of her trance.
“You want some coffee or something?”
“No. I think I’ll go to bed now.” Said Angel, standing up.
“Sweet dreams, Sunshine.”
“You too.”
They kissed goodnight. But Angel’s dreams were far from sweet.
NOTES
1) Worst. Secret. Ever.
2) So Chris and Angel have been dating for months, but this is the first time she’s mentioned not only that both of her parents died when she was a child, but that she was there when the accident happened? Not to mention that this is the first time we are hearing about it? What in the what? I’ll bet you anything it’s just because I didn’t want to come up with any stories about Angel’s parents.
3) Also … how is that stupid secret about Marie and Marty somehow more emotionally damaging than the death of both of her parents???? Why is that secret "The Truth"??
4) I love how meeting Chris' parents was such a non-issue.
Coming up next …
Bobby returns, we have stuff rehashed again, and Arn is angry for no reason. Aww, I miss Arn. Join us for ...
Chapter 26: Back Home
Chapter 25: The Truth
A dam broke somewhere inside Angel [is it time to have the Detrol discussion?]. All of the tears she had been holding back rushed forward.
Chris pulled Angel to his chest and let her sob.
“Shh. Calm down. It’ll be okay, Angelica.”
“I’ve kept this in for so long, Chris.” [What? What? Oh, this is going to be good! There’s no way we’ll be disappointed by whatever this shocking revelation is!]
“You remember our first date when I told you about Marty?”
All of the feelings that had first filled her when she read the article telling of Marty’s move to the USWF entered her again. She had kept them down in a dark part of her mind for so long. The truth about Marty, the truth about Nightshade, known by no one but Marie and herself, would be told.
“Of course I remember it.” Chris said.
“I left out something. At the time, it seemed unimportant because you didn’t know who Marie was. But now that you do …”
“Only tell me if you want to, Angelica.” [I mean, this HAS to be serious. He’s calling her by her full name!]
“I need to, Chris.”
“Then go ahead.”
She sat up straight and wiped her eyes. This was going to be hard enough, crying wouldn’t help. Looking at her feet, she began. [Wow. What could it be? Did Marie tie her up and force her to watch as she and Marty took turns trashing all of Angel’s doo-wop 45’s? Did Marie and Marty collude to somehow exploit a secret, but debilitating, allergy Angel has? What? What?!?]
“The article had a photo with it. It was a picture of Marty kissing a woman named Magnificent Marie.”
“You mean …”
“Yes. The same Marie who had broken the heart of Mr. P and who is currently dating Scott Steiner stole Marty from me.” [ … And?]
“How can you be sure?”
“About a week after Marty left, I received a letter from Marie. I don’t remember exactly what she said in it, I think I burned it, but basically she called me a few names and told me that she finally got her revenge on me for stealing Mr. P.” [… And?!?]
“But if Marty loved you, why would he do that to you?”
“Who knows? She’s a beautiful woman. Marty was never that bright of a guy. She has incredible powers of manipulation.”
“How could she have been so sure that you’d read the article?”
“She probably told Marty to leave it where I would find it. Which I did.” [ … and …?}
“Why haven’t you told anyone else?” [because it’s completely stupid?]
“I couldn’t tell Mr. P., not after what she did to him. No one else knows about Marty, except for bobby, and he doesn’t know who Marie is. What worries me now is Scotty. Marie—there’s something wrong with her. She’s so revenge-crazed, even after all this time. What if she … I don’t even want to think about what she might do.”
There was a knock at the door. While Chris went to answer it, Angel washed her face.
“What’re you trying to do, Christopher? Lock us out?” bellowed a deep, jovial voice.
“Hi, Dad.” [Wait. Why don’t they have keys? It’s their house!!]
A large man, around sixty-five or so entered, He had graying black hair and piercing blue eyes.
“Where’s Nancy? Nancy!” he called. [ooh, wasn’t that Chris Benoit’s real life wife’s name? Yipes!]
A very small woman with light brown hair and soft brown eyes entered. She looked exactly like Chris.
“For Heaven’s sake, Pascal, you don’t have to shout! Oh, where are our manners? You must be Angelica. Chris has told me so much about you.”
“Don’t worry, most of it was good.” Chris’ Dad said as they shook hands.
Chris rolled his eyes but Angel laughed. It was easy to see where Chris got his sense of humor.
Dinner that night was delicious. Angel immediately liked Chris’ parents. After Nancy and Pascal Benoit went to bed, Chris and Angel stayed up to talk.
“You’re really close to your parents, aren’t you?”
“Yeah.” Said Chris, smiling. “They’re the greatest. So when can I meet yours?”
Angel looked down. “I’m afraid that wouldn’t be possible.”
“Why not? Did they disown your or something?” He laughed.
“No.” She said quickly.
“Then what … oh.” He said, suddenly realizing what she meant. “I’m sorry. That was really stupid of me.”
“You didn’t know.”
“I should’ve …”
“It’s okay.”
“When?”
“When I was young. There was an accident. There was glass everywhere. And the blood, so much blood.” She shuddered.
“Shh. Don’t talk about it anymore. It’s over now.” He soothed.
“Right.” Said Angel, snapping out of her trance.
“You want some coffee or something?”
“No. I think I’ll go to bed now.” Said Angel, standing up.
“Sweet dreams, Sunshine.”
“You too.”
They kissed goodnight. But Angel’s dreams were far from sweet.
NOTES
1) Worst. Secret. Ever.
2) So Chris and Angel have been dating for months, but this is the first time she’s mentioned not only that both of her parents died when she was a child, but that she was there when the accident happened? Not to mention that this is the first time we are hearing about it? What in the what? I’ll bet you anything it’s just because I didn’t want to come up with any stories about Angel’s parents.
3) Also … how is that stupid secret about Marie and Marty somehow more emotionally damaging than the death of both of her parents???? Why is that secret "The Truth"??
4) I love how meeting Chris' parents was such a non-issue.
Coming up next …
Bobby returns, we have stuff rehashed again, and Arn is angry for no reason. Aww, I miss Arn. Join us for ...
Chapter 26: Back Home
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Chapter 24: The Visit
Welcome back to another installment of Unabashedly Bad, the website where I shake my head slowly at what a loser I was and you get to chuckle along. On today's docket: Angel and Chris have a useless conversation. Enjoy!
Chapter 24 – The Visit
Chris hugged Bret warmly [is there any other way any of the characters ever hug each other?] while Angel watched, still a bit stunned. She had met Bret in the WWF. He had been a close friend of Marty [when?], but Angel had never liked him.
Bret Hart just had a way of making her feel uncomfortable. He seemed cold and unfeeling, while maintaining an aura of haughtiness and superioriority [sic]. But if he was Chris’ friend, she would try to be as pleasant to him as possible.
“Bret, this is Angelica Kerris. Angel this is Bret Hart.”
“We’ve met,” Bret muttered.
“We worked together.” Angel said, looking at her feet.
Chris, possibly noting the tension between his girlfriend and his best friend, piped up, “Well, it’s time to get going, eh?” [wooo Canada!]
Chris and Bret talked during the ride almost nonstop. Angel didn’t mind all that much [how thoughtful of her]. She would be able to catch up with him when they got to Chris’ house.
Bret stopped at a large two story house painted white with a cherry red trim. There were numerous hanging white flowerpots containing clusters of red geraniums.
Angel, Chris, and Bret got out of the car. Angel’s heart immediately sank – she didn’t know Bret was coming with them!
“My parents aren’t here now, they should be back around 6:00,” said Chris.
“Well, in that case, I’ll be heading home. I just wanted to say hi to them. Bye Chris, keep in touch.” Bret hugged his friend. “See you, Angel.” They exchanged nods.
Bret hopped into his black Beretta [hawt!] and drove away. Angel breathed a sigh of relief.
Chris removed a key from his pocket and opened the front door. The inside of the house was warm and smelled like cinnamon.
“Nice house.”
“I’m kind of partial to it myself.” He took her coat and suitcase and put them in an upstairs bedroom.
“Something up with you and Bret, Sunshine?”
“Nothing important, Chris. We just never really got along.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know, but …” his voice fell.
“But what?” she whispered, leaning in close to him.
“Nothing.”
He kissed her. It was a sweet and long kiss.
“I missed you.”
“Me too.”
“Angel, in the letter you wrote me, you mentioned one of the Steiner Brothers. What was that all about?”
She looked away from him.
“Hey, Sunshine. If you don’t’ want to tell me, that’s fine.”
“It’s just hard to explain.”
“Take your time.” He picked up her hand again, a great comfort to Angel. [Will you excuse me? I’m going to go brew myself 30 gallons of espresso before I can continue transcribing this.]
She began her long, incredible story, from her friendship with Curt Hennig to the confrontation with Marie.
“Wow that sounds like a soap opera plot. Are you sure Marie isn’t your evil twin suffering from amnesia?” [how meta! Not.]
“Chris, Please.”
“I’m sorry, Angel. Are you okay with this?”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do about Scotty.” [how about nothing, you blonde busybody?]
“Have he and Marie broken up?”
“I don’t know. I hope not. He’s such a sweet guy. What does he see in a shrew like Marie?” [Look, I mock myself a lot for this garbage, and believe me, I know that it’s deserved, but I’d just like to pat 13-year-old me on the head for using the word “shrew.”]
“Who knows?”
“I don’t understand. She said something that night that really upset me. She said that she couldn’t be all that bad because two of my best friends fell in love with her. It’s true, Chris!”
“So what, Angel? So what if two of your best friends fell in love with her? Why does it matter?” [FOR SERIOUS] Everyone has a different opinion. Now what’s really bothering you?”
“What?”
“I know you. Things like this usually don’t get to you.” [huh?]
“You’re right, Chris,” she said softly.
“What is it?” he cupped her chin and looked into her eyes. Tears filled them and she looked down.
She couldn’t hold the tears back any more. The truth would come out.
---
NOTES
1) Cliffhanger! Someone call R. Kelly!
2) I sincerely hate the nickname “Sunshine.” It’s not that I’m above using pet names. I myself call my husband “Slice” far more often than I ever use his real name (it rhymes with his last name.) I think I just sincerely hate Angel.
3) Of course they’re sleeping in separate bedrooms. To be fair, when we stay at my in-laws’ house, Slice and I have to sleep in separate bedrooms too. And we’re married. Don’t get me started.
What’s that? You can’t wait to see what the truth is? Well then, my friends, you won’t want to mix the next chapter, in which Angel rehashes her past AGAIN. Join us for …
Chapter 25: The Truth
Chapter 24 – The Visit
Chris hugged Bret warmly [is there any other way any of the characters ever hug each other?] while Angel watched, still a bit stunned. She had met Bret in the WWF. He had been a close friend of Marty [when?], but Angel had never liked him.
Bret Hart just had a way of making her feel uncomfortable. He seemed cold and unfeeling, while maintaining an aura of haughtiness and superioriority [sic]. But if he was Chris’ friend, she would try to be as pleasant to him as possible.
“Bret, this is Angelica Kerris. Angel this is Bret Hart.”
“We’ve met,” Bret muttered.
“We worked together.” Angel said, looking at her feet.
Chris, possibly noting the tension between his girlfriend and his best friend, piped up, “Well, it’s time to get going, eh?” [wooo Canada!]
Chris and Bret talked during the ride almost nonstop. Angel didn’t mind all that much [how thoughtful of her]. She would be able to catch up with him when they got to Chris’ house.
Bret stopped at a large two story house painted white with a cherry red trim. There were numerous hanging white flowerpots containing clusters of red geraniums.
Angel, Chris, and Bret got out of the car. Angel’s heart immediately sank – she didn’t know Bret was coming with them!
“My parents aren’t here now, they should be back around 6:00,” said Chris.
“Well, in that case, I’ll be heading home. I just wanted to say hi to them. Bye Chris, keep in touch.” Bret hugged his friend. “See you, Angel.” They exchanged nods.
Bret hopped into his black Beretta [hawt!] and drove away. Angel breathed a sigh of relief.
Chris removed a key from his pocket and opened the front door. The inside of the house was warm and smelled like cinnamon.
“Nice house.”
“I’m kind of partial to it myself.” He took her coat and suitcase and put them in an upstairs bedroom.
“Something up with you and Bret, Sunshine?”
“Nothing important, Chris. We just never really got along.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know, but …” his voice fell.
“But what?” she whispered, leaning in close to him.
“Nothing.”
He kissed her. It was a sweet and long kiss.
“I missed you.”
“Me too.”
“Angel, in the letter you wrote me, you mentioned one of the Steiner Brothers. What was that all about?”
She looked away from him.
“Hey, Sunshine. If you don’t’ want to tell me, that’s fine.”
“It’s just hard to explain.”
“Take your time.” He picked up her hand again, a great comfort to Angel. [Will you excuse me? I’m going to go brew myself 30 gallons of espresso before I can continue transcribing this.]
She began her long, incredible story, from her friendship with Curt Hennig to the confrontation with Marie.
“Wow that sounds like a soap opera plot. Are you sure Marie isn’t your evil twin suffering from amnesia?” [how meta! Not.]
“Chris, Please.”
“I’m sorry, Angel. Are you okay with this?”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do about Scotty.” [how about nothing, you blonde busybody?]
“Have he and Marie broken up?”
“I don’t know. I hope not. He’s such a sweet guy. What does he see in a shrew like Marie?” [Look, I mock myself a lot for this garbage, and believe me, I know that it’s deserved, but I’d just like to pat 13-year-old me on the head for using the word “shrew.”]
“Who knows?”
“I don’t understand. She said something that night that really upset me. She said that she couldn’t be all that bad because two of my best friends fell in love with her. It’s true, Chris!”
“So what, Angel? So what if two of your best friends fell in love with her? Why does it matter?” [FOR SERIOUS] Everyone has a different opinion. Now what’s really bothering you?”
“What?”
“I know you. Things like this usually don’t get to you.” [huh?]
“You’re right, Chris,” she said softly.
“What is it?” he cupped her chin and looked into her eyes. Tears filled them and she looked down.
She couldn’t hold the tears back any more. The truth would come out.
---
NOTES
1) Cliffhanger! Someone call R. Kelly!
2) I sincerely hate the nickname “Sunshine.” It’s not that I’m above using pet names. I myself call my husband “Slice” far more often than I ever use his real name (it rhymes with his last name.) I think I just sincerely hate Angel.
3) Of course they’re sleeping in separate bedrooms. To be fair, when we stay at my in-laws’ house, Slice and I have to sleep in separate bedrooms too. And we’re married. Don’t get me started.
What’s that? You can’t wait to see what the truth is? Well then, my friends, you won’t want to mix the next chapter, in which Angel rehashes her past AGAIN. Join us for …
Chapter 25: The Truth
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Chapter 21: A Surprise
Sorry for the long delay between chapters. I was visiting the family for the holidays. I never have a problem with overeating during the holiday season. This is not necessarily by choice. My parents are a strange breed of folk who only eat one meal a day (dinner). Thus, there is no food available for either breakfast or lunch. The fridge and pantry only contain dinner ingredients. So unless I want to chow down on raw beef, onions, or cornstarch, I pretty much just starve.
But I digress. We now return to the trials and tribulations of Angel n' friends. This one’s gonna take us back, folks. Don’t worry if you’re not completely familiar with the pre-WCW portion of Angel’s saga … she rehashes it for you. But if you’re a new reader and are interested in the older stuff, it’s all waiting for you in the archives.
So … what better way to start off the new year than with A SURPRISE? What’s the surprise, you ask? Oh, I’m not spoiling it for you. It spoils itself by being so sucktacular.
Chapter 21: A Surprise
The telephone rang. Angel screamed. She was reading Pet Sematary (for the 3rd time) in a hotel in Michigan. She put down the book and answered the phone.
“Ang! What’s wrong?” [wait … didn’t we all laugh at this “hilarious” scenario a mere two chapters ago?]
“Nothing. I was just reading Pet Sematary. How are you, Scotty?”
“Fine, thanks. How’d you know it was me?” [maybe she could hear your muscles bulging over the phone.]
“You’re the only man who calls me Ang. What’s up?”
“I was wondering if you were free today.”
“Yeah, why?”
“I’d like you to meet Marie.”
“Oh! I’d love to! Only I don’t have much in the way of transportation.” [? How did she get to her hotel? How is she planning on leaving her hotel? ]
“No prob! I can pick you up. You’re staying in the Silver Lake Hotel, right?”
“How’d you know?”
“WCW always stayed there in Michigan. Don’t ask me why.”
“Ok. I’ll wait in the lobby.”
“How about 1:00?”
“Sounds great.”
(Scotty and Angel are in Scott’s car, driving to Marie’s house) [seamless transition! Seamless!]
“So, Scotty, what’s Marie like?”
“Oh, she’s really nice, and she’s so smart. She also happens to be beautiful.” [wait … did someone clone Angel?]
“Sounds perfect. What’s she look like?”
“She’s got shoulder-length black hair and these really bright green eyes. They’re incredible.”
They spent the rest of the drive chatting casually about just about everything.
They arrived at Marie’s home. It was fairly large, with a stucco finish.
Scott used a key to open the door. The interior was lovely, the floors were covered in thick cream colored carpeting and the rest of the room was a light coffee color.
“Marie, hon, we’re back. Come meet Angelica.”
An attractive woman stopped into the room. She looked incredibly familiar to Angel. Then it hit her.
Marie also immediately recognized Angel. No one spoke. The two women stared at each other with a mixture of hate and shock in their eyes.
“Nightshade.” whispered Angel.
“Angel” Marie whispered back [I’ll bet she pronounced it with a “j”]
“You two know each other?” Scott asked tentatively.
“Oh, we know each other all too well,” said Marie.
“Wait a minute. What’s going on? Who’s Nightshade?”
“So how many other names have you got, Sunny?”
“You little bi--.”
“Stop it!” Scott interrupted. “Now you two just cool down and tell me what’s going on.”
Since Marie remained silent, Angel began.
“This is Sunny Tyler, AKA Nightshade, AKA Marie Haven. She was a manager in the WWF where I used to work. She, Bobby Heenan, and my then best friend, Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig all worked for Ric Flair. Mr. P fell in love with her, and after a time [6 hours], she fell in love with him. Then one day, Ric Flair and Marty Jannetty, whom I managed, had a match. At the end of the match, as I was helping Marty onto a stretcher, she whomped me on the back of the head with a pair of brass knuckles. From what Mr. P told me, he and Nightshade here got into a huge fight, and she left him heartbroken. Later, she sent him a letter sprayed with a perfume he was terribly allergic to. If I hadn’t heard him sneezing and thrown away the letter, who knows what would have happened to him.”
Scott was in a state of utter disbelief. “Marie?”
“Curt told you half of it, my dear, he must’ve left out the fact that I was only doing my job and that he broke my heart. Up until then he was the only man I had ever loved, and then I found out that he was running around with you!”
“Running around with me? We were best friends, we never did so much as hold hands!! And anyway, what gave you the right to send him that note? God knows what you could have done to him!”
“I would take that back if I could, but I can’t.”
“Look, Marie, or Sunny, or whatever, we’ve had our problems in the past, and don’t think that I’m about to forgive you right now, but let’s put this fight on hold for Scotty’s sake, OK?”
“Deal.”
“Scotty, are you allright?” Angel would have liked to clasp his hand or squeeze his shoulder, but she did not for fear of angering Marie.
“What happened to you after you left the WWF, Marie?” he asked, eyes shut tightly.
“I was heartbroken. I changed my lifestyle, moved to Michigan, and changed my name – legally.” She eyed Angel. “After a while, I met you, Scott, and I fell in love again.”
Scotty opened his eyes – there were tears forming in the corners. [huzzah!] “You told me I was the first.”
“You were.”
“You never … ”
“No.”
He sighed, almost a sigh of relief. “I don’t believe this.” He whispered.
“Believe it, Scott,” said Marie. “And you believe this, Angel. I may not seem to be the most likeable person in the world, but obviously I can’t be all that bad if two of your best friends fell in love with me.”
Angel made no reply.
“Have you ever been in love, Angel?” she asked with an edge to her voice.
“Yes.” Angel responded quietly.
“I’m surprised. You’ve got the looks to have just about anyone. Why waste your time on love?”
Angel narrowed her eyes. “Do you honestly think I’m like that?” Angel’s voice was low and dangerous.
“You don’t want to know what I honestly think of you.”
“I don’t’ have to take this. Especially not from you.” She turned to Scott. “I’ll be in the car, Scott. I’m sorry you had to be a part of this.” A tear slid down her cheek, and she ran out of Marie’s house to Scotty’s car.
About ten minutes later, Scott opened the driver side of his car door [huh?] and started the engine.
“There are tissues in the glove compartment.” He said.
“Thank you,” she said softly.
“Are you OK?”
She nodded. “Are you?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I’m still kind of shocked, I guess. How long were you and Marie in the WWF together?”
“About 6 months. Scott, I hope you don’t mind, but I really don’t want to talk about this anymore, allright?”
“Sure, Ang.”
They spent the rest of the drive home in silence. Scott pulled up to Angel’s hotel.
“Thanks for the ride, Scott. I’m so sorry about what happened tonight. I hope you two work things out.”
Scott kissed Angel on the cheek. “Don’t blame yourself, Angel. This ain’t noone’s fault, and Marie and I will be OK.”
“I hope so.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“I’ll try.”
“Ang?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t cry anymore, huh?”
“Okay.” She managed a little smile to ease his concern. “Keep in touch.”
“You got it.”
------
NOTES:
1) What the heck did Marie do that was all that bad? She punched Angel in the head during a freaking wrestling match and then pulled what basically amounted to a practical joke on Mr. P. I don’t really see why she had to quit her job and change her name. Also … I don’t really blame her for thinking that he and Ang were more than “best friends.” If my husband had a female friend who was as free with the hugs and “light kisses” as Angel, I might be a little suspicious. Then again, if my husband cried as often and as easily as any of my characters, we probably wouldn’t have made it to the altar in the first place.
2) Notice how Marie swears to Scott that he’s been her one and only between the sheets. If we revisit this chapter, we will find that she proclaims herself to be a Jezebel. Was she lying then or is she lying now? Or is this simply further evidence of my ineptitude as a writer? Hmmm. At any rate, any character who hates Angel is a winner in my book. Keep on keepin’ on, Nightshade.
3) The Delgado Hotel? The Cascade Inn? Silver Lake Hotel? Why didn’t anyone ever stay in a Super 8?
COMING UP NEXT …
Angel shares all of her recent troubles with Chris in a sickeningly sweet letter and then confronts Marcus about that crap he pulled in chapter 20. Intrigued? Then join us next time for … Chapter 22: Forgive, but don’t forget.
But I digress. We now return to the trials and tribulations of Angel n' friends. This one’s gonna take us back, folks. Don’t worry if you’re not completely familiar with the pre-WCW portion of Angel’s saga … she rehashes it for you. But if you’re a new reader and are interested in the older stuff, it’s all waiting for you in the archives.
So … what better way to start off the new year than with A SURPRISE? What’s the surprise, you ask? Oh, I’m not spoiling it for you. It spoils itself by being so sucktacular.
Chapter 21: A Surprise
The telephone rang. Angel screamed. She was reading Pet Sematary (for the 3rd time) in a hotel in Michigan. She put down the book and answered the phone.
“Ang! What’s wrong?” [wait … didn’t we all laugh at this “hilarious” scenario a mere two chapters ago?]
“Nothing. I was just reading Pet Sematary. How are you, Scotty?”
“Fine, thanks. How’d you know it was me?” [maybe she could hear your muscles bulging over the phone.]
“You’re the only man who calls me Ang. What’s up?”
“I was wondering if you were free today.”
“Yeah, why?”
“I’d like you to meet Marie.”
“Oh! I’d love to! Only I don’t have much in the way of transportation.” [? How did she get to her hotel? How is she planning on leaving her hotel? ]
“No prob! I can pick you up. You’re staying in the Silver Lake Hotel, right?”
“How’d you know?”
“WCW always stayed there in Michigan. Don’t ask me why.”
“Ok. I’ll wait in the lobby.”
“How about 1:00?”
“Sounds great.”
(Scotty and Angel are in Scott’s car, driving to Marie’s house) [seamless transition! Seamless!]
“So, Scotty, what’s Marie like?”
“Oh, she’s really nice, and she’s so smart. She also happens to be beautiful.” [wait … did someone clone Angel?]
“Sounds perfect. What’s she look like?”
“She’s got shoulder-length black hair and these really bright green eyes. They’re incredible.”
They spent the rest of the drive chatting casually about just about everything.
They arrived at Marie’s home. It was fairly large, with a stucco finish.
Scott used a key to open the door. The interior was lovely, the floors were covered in thick cream colored carpeting and the rest of the room was a light coffee color.
“Marie, hon, we’re back. Come meet Angelica.”
An attractive woman stopped into the room. She looked incredibly familiar to Angel. Then it hit her.
Marie also immediately recognized Angel. No one spoke. The two women stared at each other with a mixture of hate and shock in their eyes.
“Nightshade.” whispered Angel.
“Angel” Marie whispered back [I’ll bet she pronounced it with a “j”]
“You two know each other?” Scott asked tentatively.
“Oh, we know each other all too well,” said Marie.
“Wait a minute. What’s going on? Who’s Nightshade?”
“So how many other names have you got, Sunny?”
“You little bi--.”
“Stop it!” Scott interrupted. “Now you two just cool down and tell me what’s going on.”
Since Marie remained silent, Angel began.
“This is Sunny Tyler, AKA Nightshade, AKA Marie Haven. She was a manager in the WWF where I used to work. She, Bobby Heenan, and my then best friend, Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig all worked for Ric Flair. Mr. P fell in love with her, and after a time [6 hours], she fell in love with him. Then one day, Ric Flair and Marty Jannetty, whom I managed, had a match. At the end of the match, as I was helping Marty onto a stretcher, she whomped me on the back of the head with a pair of brass knuckles. From what Mr. P told me, he and Nightshade here got into a huge fight, and she left him heartbroken. Later, she sent him a letter sprayed with a perfume he was terribly allergic to. If I hadn’t heard him sneezing and thrown away the letter, who knows what would have happened to him.”
Scott was in a state of utter disbelief. “Marie?”
“Curt told you half of it, my dear, he must’ve left out the fact that I was only doing my job and that he broke my heart. Up until then he was the only man I had ever loved, and then I found out that he was running around with you!”
“Running around with me? We were best friends, we never did so much as hold hands!! And anyway, what gave you the right to send him that note? God knows what you could have done to him!”
“I would take that back if I could, but I can’t.”
“Look, Marie, or Sunny, or whatever, we’ve had our problems in the past, and don’t think that I’m about to forgive you right now, but let’s put this fight on hold for Scotty’s sake, OK?”
“Deal.”
“Scotty, are you allright?” Angel would have liked to clasp his hand or squeeze his shoulder, but she did not for fear of angering Marie.
“What happened to you after you left the WWF, Marie?” he asked, eyes shut tightly.
“I was heartbroken. I changed my lifestyle, moved to Michigan, and changed my name – legally.” She eyed Angel. “After a while, I met you, Scott, and I fell in love again.”
Scotty opened his eyes – there were tears forming in the corners. [huzzah!] “You told me I was the first.”
“You were.”
“You never … ”
“No.”
He sighed, almost a sigh of relief. “I don’t believe this.” He whispered.
“Believe it, Scott,” said Marie. “And you believe this, Angel. I may not seem to be the most likeable person in the world, but obviously I can’t be all that bad if two of your best friends fell in love with me.”
Angel made no reply.
“Have you ever been in love, Angel?” she asked with an edge to her voice.
“Yes.” Angel responded quietly.
“I’m surprised. You’ve got the looks to have just about anyone. Why waste your time on love?”
Angel narrowed her eyes. “Do you honestly think I’m like that?” Angel’s voice was low and dangerous.
“You don’t want to know what I honestly think of you.”
“I don’t’ have to take this. Especially not from you.” She turned to Scott. “I’ll be in the car, Scott. I’m sorry you had to be a part of this.” A tear slid down her cheek, and she ran out of Marie’s house to Scotty’s car.
About ten minutes later, Scott opened the driver side of his car door [huh?] and started the engine.
“There are tissues in the glove compartment.” He said.
“Thank you,” she said softly.
“Are you OK?”
She nodded. “Are you?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I’m still kind of shocked, I guess. How long were you and Marie in the WWF together?”
“About 6 months. Scott, I hope you don’t mind, but I really don’t want to talk about this anymore, allright?”
“Sure, Ang.”
They spent the rest of the drive home in silence. Scott pulled up to Angel’s hotel.
“Thanks for the ride, Scott. I’m so sorry about what happened tonight. I hope you two work things out.”
Scott kissed Angel on the cheek. “Don’t blame yourself, Angel. This ain’t noone’s fault, and Marie and I will be OK.”
“I hope so.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“I’ll try.”
“Ang?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t cry anymore, huh?”
“Okay.” She managed a little smile to ease his concern. “Keep in touch.”
“You got it.”
------
NOTES:
1) What the heck did Marie do that was all that bad? She punched Angel in the head during a freaking wrestling match and then pulled what basically amounted to a practical joke on Mr. P. I don’t really see why she had to quit her job and change her name. Also … I don’t really blame her for thinking that he and Ang were more than “best friends.” If my husband had a female friend who was as free with the hugs and “light kisses” as Angel, I might be a little suspicious. Then again, if my husband cried as often and as easily as any of my characters, we probably wouldn’t have made it to the altar in the first place.
2) Notice how Marie swears to Scott that he’s been her one and only between the sheets. If we revisit this chapter, we will find that she proclaims herself to be a Jezebel. Was she lying then or is she lying now? Or is this simply further evidence of my ineptitude as a writer? Hmmm. At any rate, any character who hates Angel is a winner in my book. Keep on keepin’ on, Nightshade.
3) The Delgado Hotel? The Cascade Inn? Silver Lake Hotel? Why didn’t anyone ever stay in a Super 8?
COMING UP NEXT …
Angel shares all of her recent troubles with Chris in a sickeningly sweet letter and then confronts Marcus about that crap he pulled in chapter 20. Intrigued? Then join us next time for … Chapter 22: Forgive, but don’t forget.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Chapter 13: Marie
While things are looking potentially sunny for Angel on the romance front, I'm sure we all recall the tension in Scott Steiner's love life. He and his girlfriend Marie got into a huge fight and if it weren't for Angel's sage wisdom, he'd probably have dissolved into a puddle of tears. So what does fate have in store for Scott and Marie? Read on, fearless audience. Read on.
Chapter 13: Marie
The phone in Rick and Scott Steiner's home rang twice before Scott could pick it up. He expected it to be Crystal, his sister [?], but it wasn't.
"Scotty?"
"Marie?"
They both began to speak at the same time.
"Scott, I'm ..."
"Marie, Let's ..."
"You first."
"No, you."
"Ok. Scotty, please forgive me. I can't live without you. I acted like a jerk, exploding at you like that. It was just that ... "
"I know Marie. If I were you, I'd be fed up with me too. I'll try to stop doing it, I promise. [uhm, that's the opposite of the problem, Scott.] Life without you has been sheer hell."
"Come over tonight."
"Sure. I'm free at nine."
"I'll be ready."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
Scotty hung up feeling like his heart would burst. He had never been so happy. Marie was his again.
"What was that all about?" asked Rick, entering the living room.
"It was Marie. I've got a date for tonight."
"Wow. What a co-inky-dink, me too."
"With who? Carla?"
"No. We broke it off. Janie's my date [that's an oblique reference to Dion's song "The Wanderer." Soooo lame]. Black hair, grey eyes."
"Gees! You go through girls faster than water."
"Hey, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again."
"I guess."
"I know." said Rick, opening the door. Both Steiners left for their matches.
As Scott drove to the Lansing Coluseum, he wondered how he would be able to break the news to Rick. He didn't know if he'd be able to stop himself and Marie from going too far.
NOTES:
1) Break the news to Rick? How about telling him to mind his own freaking business. It's your life, dude. And at least you're in a committed (?), loving (?) relationship. He's apparantly a serial dater whose main goal is to prevent his adult brother from having sex? WTF?
2) Yes, this chapter was lame. But it advances an important plot point: Marie and Scott are back together again. What's that? You didn't care one lick about Smarie? I can't imagine why.
Well ... speaking of dynamic relationships ... what's going on with Chris and Angel? I think the next chapter, "Chris and Angel" will touch on that subject. So tune in next time for ... Chapter 14: Chris and Angel. BONUS: The triumphant return of the beloved allergy trope.
Chapter 13: Marie
The phone in Rick and Scott Steiner's home rang twice before Scott could pick it up. He expected it to be Crystal, his sister [?], but it wasn't.
"Scotty?"
"Marie?"
They both began to speak at the same time.
"Scott, I'm ..."
"Marie, Let's ..."
"You first."
"No, you."
"Ok. Scotty, please forgive me. I can't live without you. I acted like a jerk, exploding at you like that. It was just that ... "
"I know Marie. If I were you, I'd be fed up with me too. I'll try to stop doing it, I promise. [uhm, that's the opposite of the problem, Scott.] Life without you has been sheer hell."
"Come over tonight."
"Sure. I'm free at nine."
"I'll be ready."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
Scotty hung up feeling like his heart would burst. He had never been so happy. Marie was his again.
"What was that all about?" asked Rick, entering the living room.
"It was Marie. I've got a date for tonight."
"Wow. What a co-inky-dink, me too."
"With who? Carla?"
"No. We broke it off. Janie's my date [that's an oblique reference to Dion's song "The Wanderer." Soooo lame]. Black hair, grey eyes."
"Gees! You go through girls faster than water."
"Hey, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again."
"I guess."
"I know." said Rick, opening the door. Both Steiners left for their matches.
As Scott drove to the Lansing Coluseum, he wondered how he would be able to break the news to Rick. He didn't know if he'd be able to stop himself and Marie from going too far.
NOTES:
1) Break the news to Rick? How about telling him to mind his own freaking business. It's your life, dude. And at least you're in a committed (?), loving (?) relationship. He's apparantly a serial dater whose main goal is to prevent his adult brother from having sex? WTF?
2) Yes, this chapter was lame. But it advances an important plot point: Marie and Scott are back together again. What's that? You didn't care one lick about Smarie? I can't imagine why.
Well ... speaking of dynamic relationships ... what's going on with Chris and Angel? I think the next chapter, "Chris and Angel" will touch on that subject. So tune in next time for ... Chapter 14: Chris and Angel. BONUS: The triumphant return of the beloved allergy trope.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Chapter 11: Rick and Scott's Party
USA had a Monday Night Raw 800th episode special on last night. Good stuff! Got to see clips of all my old faves from back in 1993, not to mention a chance to check out Cody Rhodes. Dustin's little bro has some killer abs, y'all.
Moving right along!
Here comes an amazing display of needless moralizing to what was an audience of uno (me), not to mention another glimpse into the world's lamest party scene ... someone get some milk for Angel's cookies, it's ...
Chapter 14: Rick and Scott's Party
Angel arrived at the party a little after 5:00 PM. She was wearing a wine colored silk blouse and a black miniskirt [WHAT?!? That trollop!]. She pulled her shining hair into a long braid.
Sting greeted her and his eyes lit up when he saw the cookies she'd brought. [ahem]
When she stepped inside, she immediately noticed that it was smaller than the last bash. She knew everyone there, Ricky Steamboat, Dustin Rhodes, Missy Hyatt, and Ron Simmons. "Where are the Steiners?" she asked Sting after greeting everyone.
"In the kitchen. Scotty wanted to use the phone for a sec."
They came out and when they saw her both of their faces shiowed happy recongition.
"Angie! It's been too long!"
"Hi, Ang."
She hugged them both and congratulated them. "Thanks Angie. Speaking of congratulations, did you hear about Dustin?"
Angel nodded. "Isn't it wonderful? I'm so happy for him."
Sting and Missy were chatting while the others were listening to Dustin talk about his fiance [zzzzz]. Rick went over to join them, but Scott said that he wanted to hang back. Angel decided to keep him company.
"Hey, I heard about you and Marcus."
"Who hasn't?" she half-smiled.
"I didn't think he was that sort of person. How are you doing?" he asked as they sat on a couch.
"I'm much better, thanks. I guess I've gotten over it. I'll never forgive him, though. He hurt me pretty bad."
Scott looked down at the floor. Angel touched his huge shoulder lightly.
"Scott, are you allright?" He sat up and nodded. A rap song came on. Angel wrinkled her nose. Scott saw this and smiled. "Don't like rap?"
She shook her head. "I love doo-wop. 'Tonite, Tonite' by the Mello-Kings is my favorite. Or mabye the 5 Satins with 'In the Still of the Night'." [rock on, young me, rock on.]
Scott hung his head again, and then put his face in his hands [here we go!].
"What did I say? What's wrong, Scotty?" she asked gently.
He sat up again, this time drawing in a long breath. He took his face from his hands and apologized. "I'm just having some problems with my girlfriend and 'In the Still of the Nite" by Boyz II Men is our song. Or maybe it's 'was' our song." He drew in another breath.
"If you want to talk to someone about it, I'm here."
"Thanks, Ang. It's easy to talk to a brother like Rick because he's my best friend, but this subject is very hard to discuss with him. I think I do need to talk to you. It's hard to talk to Sting or Dustin because we're so far apart most of the time." [as opposed to Angel, who lives in his garage?]
"Go ahead when you're ready."
"Well this whole fight is about one thing. This may sound silly, but I don't want to have sex until I'm married."
"That's not silly. I feel the same way."
"Really? We're a dying breed, Ang." [maybe because you're not reproducing?]
"I know. I'll respect whatever other people feel, but I suppose I'm kind of old fashioned. It's kind of a morality issue, I guess."
"I sure wish Marie felt that way, you see, every time we start getting a little too far too fast, I'd stop and ask her to slow down. I guess I did that one too many times last night, because she told me I had stepped over the line. Then she screamed at me to get out and leave her forever. I must have sat and cried for six hours last night. I love her so much. Life without her has become unbearable, oh god, here I go again." he said as a tear rolled down hes cheeck. [about time] Angel picked up his hand and squoze it.
"Why can't you talk to your brother about this?"
"Well, he made a mistake a long time ago, and doesn't want his little brother to make the same mistake [huh?]. Every time Marie and I start up, I get one step closer to losing my virginity. If Rick knew that, he'd lose all respect towards me." [!!!]
"Your borther's respect means a lot to you, doesn't it?"
He nodded.
"Scotty, did Marie love you."
"That's what she told me, why?"
"Well, I'll bet she's feeling as sad as you are right now. She was probably upset last night, but deply regretting what she said to you now."
"You really think so?"
"Yes. Love is the strongest force on earth, and you and Marie have plenty of it. You'll pull together."
"Ang, you're an inspiration and a good friend. Thank you." he gave her a hug.
Scotty went over to talk to Dustin. She was about to go join him when Missy Hyatt stopped her. "Hi Missy."
"Hi Angel. Look, I want to apoligize to you. I've been acting pretty rotton to you lately."
"Thanks, Missy. That's allright."
"Can you beileve what that Creep Marcus Bagwell did to us? Got your eyes on anyone else?"
"Not yet."
"Well stay away from Johnny Gunn. He's mine."
"No problem."
"See ya later!" she bubbled.
Wait till Madusa hears this! [hears what?] thought Angel as she walked over to Dustin, Rick, and Scott. They talked for a while, then Dustin had to elave. He said good-bye to everyone and congratulated his friends tha Steiners, who congratulated him back. Soon after that, the party ended. Angel and the Steiners traded phone numbers so they could stay in touch. Sting thanked her for the cookies and she thanked him for inviting her [compelling drama here].
As angel drove home, she felt better than she had felt in a long time. She hoped this happy streak would last.
NOTES
1) Let me just tell you how convinced I was that Boyz II Men's rendition of "In the Still of the Night" was going to get my generation into oldies: super convinced. Oh well. And maybe I'm a curmudgeon, but I still think the 5 Satins' version is better.
2) So apparantly, Scott is of the same mindset as our pristine Angel when it comes to amorous relations. I really don't know who is the most ridiculous when it comes to sex: Angel, Scott, or Rick. Ok, yes I do: it's Rick. Angel's at least got her weird notion of "morality," which makes zero sense to me, because it doesn't seem like her "morality" derives from any sort of religious ideal or, say, the fact that she has some sort of super-communicable STI that can be spread even with condoms. I mean, if you don't want to have sex before you get married, whatever, that's cool, but saying it's because of "morality" really doesn't explain anything, unless, of course, you're 13 and don't know how to understand or express your burgeoning ideas about sexuality, so you make your fan fiction characters equally clueless. Aaaanyhoo, Rick is out of control obsessed with Scott's sex life. Maybe if Scott were, like, a teenager? But they're two grown men! Yikes! WTF is your problem, Rick? You're seriously creepy. Scott, man, make your own decisions!
3) Marie sounds pretty intense. Hmm ... Marie ... where have we heard that name before?????
4) Angel gives the dumbest advice ever. I'm pretty sure you could get more insight from a dollar store greeting card.
5) Why isn't Alex invited to any parties? Or any other girls, for that matter?
Wow. Ok.
So Angel seems like she's in a pretty good place right now. She's getting cried on left and right, she's buried the hatchet with Missy Hyatt. But you know what she's missing? That's right .... lurv! Will she find it when she meets ... Chapter 12 - Bobby's New Partner? Tune in next time to find out!
Moving right along!
Here comes an amazing display of needless moralizing to what was an audience of uno (me), not to mention another glimpse into the world's lamest party scene ... someone get some milk for Angel's cookies, it's ...
Chapter 14: Rick and Scott's Party
Angel arrived at the party a little after 5:00 PM. She was wearing a wine colored silk blouse and a black miniskirt [WHAT?!? That trollop!]. She pulled her shining hair into a long braid.
Sting greeted her and his eyes lit up when he saw the cookies she'd brought. [ahem]
When she stepped inside, she immediately noticed that it was smaller than the last bash. She knew everyone there, Ricky Steamboat, Dustin Rhodes, Missy Hyatt, and Ron Simmons. "Where are the Steiners?" she asked Sting after greeting everyone.
"In the kitchen. Scotty wanted to use the phone for a sec."
They came out and when they saw her both of their faces shiowed happy recongition.
"Angie! It's been too long!"
"Hi, Ang."
She hugged them both and congratulated them. "Thanks Angie. Speaking of congratulations, did you hear about Dustin?"
Angel nodded. "Isn't it wonderful? I'm so happy for him."
Sting and Missy were chatting while the others were listening to Dustin talk about his fiance [zzzzz]. Rick went over to join them, but Scott said that he wanted to hang back. Angel decided to keep him company.
"Hey, I heard about you and Marcus."
"Who hasn't?" she half-smiled.
"I didn't think he was that sort of person. How are you doing?" he asked as they sat on a couch.
"I'm much better, thanks. I guess I've gotten over it. I'll never forgive him, though. He hurt me pretty bad."
Scott looked down at the floor. Angel touched his huge shoulder lightly.
"Scott, are you allright?" He sat up and nodded. A rap song came on. Angel wrinkled her nose. Scott saw this and smiled. "Don't like rap?"
She shook her head. "I love doo-wop. 'Tonite, Tonite' by the Mello-Kings is my favorite. Or mabye the 5 Satins with 'In the Still of the Night'." [rock on, young me, rock on.]
Scott hung his head again, and then put his face in his hands [here we go!].
"What did I say? What's wrong, Scotty?" she asked gently.
He sat up again, this time drawing in a long breath. He took his face from his hands and apologized. "I'm just having some problems with my girlfriend and 'In the Still of the Nite" by Boyz II Men is our song. Or maybe it's 'was' our song." He drew in another breath.
"If you want to talk to someone about it, I'm here."
"Thanks, Ang. It's easy to talk to a brother like Rick because he's my best friend, but this subject is very hard to discuss with him. I think I do need to talk to you. It's hard to talk to Sting or Dustin because we're so far apart most of the time." [as opposed to Angel, who lives in his garage?]
"Go ahead when you're ready."
"Well this whole fight is about one thing. This may sound silly, but I don't want to have sex until I'm married."
"That's not silly. I feel the same way."
"Really? We're a dying breed, Ang." [maybe because you're not reproducing?]
"I know. I'll respect whatever other people feel, but I suppose I'm kind of old fashioned. It's kind of a morality issue, I guess."
"I sure wish Marie felt that way, you see, every time we start getting a little too far too fast, I'd stop and ask her to slow down. I guess I did that one too many times last night, because she told me I had stepped over the line. Then she screamed at me to get out and leave her forever. I must have sat and cried for six hours last night. I love her so much. Life without her has become unbearable, oh god, here I go again." he said as a tear rolled down hes cheeck. [about time] Angel picked up his hand and squoze it.
"Why can't you talk to your brother about this?"
"Well, he made a mistake a long time ago, and doesn't want his little brother to make the same mistake [huh?]. Every time Marie and I start up, I get one step closer to losing my virginity. If Rick knew that, he'd lose all respect towards me." [!!!]
"Your borther's respect means a lot to you, doesn't it?"
He nodded.
"Scotty, did Marie love you."
"That's what she told me, why?"
"Well, I'll bet she's feeling as sad as you are right now. She was probably upset last night, but deply regretting what she said to you now."
"You really think so?"
"Yes. Love is the strongest force on earth, and you and Marie have plenty of it. You'll pull together."
"Ang, you're an inspiration and a good friend. Thank you." he gave her a hug.
Scotty went over to talk to Dustin. She was about to go join him when Missy Hyatt stopped her. "Hi Missy."
"Hi Angel. Look, I want to apoligize to you. I've been acting pretty rotton to you lately."
"Thanks, Missy. That's allright."
"Can you beileve what that Creep Marcus Bagwell did to us? Got your eyes on anyone else?"
"Not yet."
"Well stay away from Johnny Gunn. He's mine."
"No problem."
"See ya later!" she bubbled.
Wait till Madusa hears this! [hears what?] thought Angel as she walked over to Dustin, Rick, and Scott. They talked for a while, then Dustin had to elave. He said good-bye to everyone and congratulated his friends tha Steiners, who congratulated him back. Soon after that, the party ended. Angel and the Steiners traded phone numbers so they could stay in touch. Sting thanked her for the cookies and she thanked him for inviting her [compelling drama here].
As angel drove home, she felt better than she had felt in a long time. She hoped this happy streak would last.
NOTES
1) Let me just tell you how convinced I was that Boyz II Men's rendition of "In the Still of the Night" was going to get my generation into oldies: super convinced. Oh well. And maybe I'm a curmudgeon, but I still think the 5 Satins' version is better.
2) So apparantly, Scott is of the same mindset as our pristine Angel when it comes to amorous relations. I really don't know who is the most ridiculous when it comes to sex: Angel, Scott, or Rick. Ok, yes I do: it's Rick. Angel's at least got her weird notion of "morality," which makes zero sense to me, because it doesn't seem like her "morality" derives from any sort of religious ideal or, say, the fact that she has some sort of super-communicable STI that can be spread even with condoms. I mean, if you don't want to have sex before you get married, whatever, that's cool, but saying it's because of "morality" really doesn't explain anything, unless, of course, you're 13 and don't know how to understand or express your burgeoning ideas about sexuality, so you make your fan fiction characters equally clueless. Aaaanyhoo, Rick is out of control obsessed with Scott's sex life. Maybe if Scott were, like, a teenager? But they're two grown men! Yikes! WTF is your problem, Rick? You're seriously creepy. Scott, man, make your own decisions!
3) Marie sounds pretty intense. Hmm ... Marie ... where have we heard that name before?????
4) Angel gives the dumbest advice ever. I'm pretty sure you could get more insight from a dollar store greeting card.
5) Why isn't Alex invited to any parties? Or any other girls, for that matter?
Wow. Ok.
So Angel seems like she's in a pretty good place right now. She's getting cried on left and right, she's buried the hatchet with Missy Hyatt. But you know what she's missing? That's right .... lurv! Will she find it when she meets ... Chapter 12 - Bobby's New Partner? Tune in next time to find out!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Chapter 3: Sting’s Party
Welcome back to another action-packed chapter of the life and times of the world's least interesting protagonist. Hold on to your red bell peppers, it's ...
Chapter 3: Sting’s Party
Although Angelica hardly ever fussed about what to wear [which nurse’s uniform is a purer white?], she found herself doing just that now. She had never been on the cutting edge of fashion, she always just bought comfortable clothes she thought looked nice on her. [what an iconoclast]
She finally settled on an apricot tee-shirt with a slight v-neck, and black denim shorts. She tucked the shirt into the shorts and puffed it out. She left on her pair of white open toe sandals and tied her hair into a French braid. [HAWT]
She seldom wore makeup, but when she was little, she had to wear nail polish to stop her from biting her fingernails. Even though she was completely over that habit, Angel still liked to paint her fingernails, and sometimes her toenails too. She removed all of the neon–green nailpolish she had applied on her fingernails and put on some clear. After a final check in her half-length mirror, she was ready to go. [woman, a full-length mirror would have perhaps convinced you to change your shoes, at the very least]
When she arrived at the party, the music was on loud. She wrinkled her nose in distaste. She didn’t like modern music at all [autobiography, here we go]. Doo-wop was her thing. She’d take the Mello-Kings or the Passions over the Red Hot Something Peppers or that guy, Iced Tea, or Lemonade, or whoever.
Sting answered the doorbell. When she looked in she recognized a few faces. Dustin Rhodes, Missy Hyatt, Marc Bagwell, and Ron Simmons. Oh, there was 2 Cold Scorpio!
“Hi Sting!” she said, handing him a box and hugging him.
“Hi Angel. Glad you could make it! What’s in the box?” he inquired, shaking it.
“Chocolate chip cookies. Hope you don’t mind. I baked them this afternoon.”
“Thanks a lot. I’m sure they’re delicious.” He said happily. “You know, I can’t remember the last time I had a home made chocolate chip cookie” [me either. Mmm.]
He led her into the party and introduced her to the people she didn’t know. The last people they came to were Rick and Scott, the Steiner Brothers.
“Rick, Scott, I’d like you to meet a friend of mine, Angelica Kerris, and if you’ll excuse me, the chips need refilling. See ya later.”
“So, Angelica, what do you do in the WCW?” asked Scott.
“I’m a first-aid nurse. I used to work in the WWF, but, uh …. I ran into some …. uh, problems.”
“Got a nickname, Angelica?”
“Angel.”
“Can I call you Angie?” asked Rick.
“Sure.” She said smiling. She looked at them both. She had seen them before, in pictures and on TV, but in person, they were incredible. Scot was tall and very muscular. He had shoulder length brown hair and brown eyes. His older brother, Rick, was a little bit shorter and stouter. He had brown eyes and short brown hair. He had a moustache that extended down to the base of his chin. They were both clad and T-shirts and jeans, but Rick was also wearing one of those headbands that had springy antennae on them. [oh, what a nut!]. Both seemed nice.
Scott thought that Angelica, no, he’d call her Ang, was very pretty, Nice figure, gorgeous blue eyes, beautiful blonde hair. If he didn’t already have a girlfriend …… stop thinking that, Scott, he told himself. Do you want this thing to work out with Marie or not?
Unlike Scott, Rick took his first impressions of people from their personalities. Rick thought that Angie was pretty friendly, although she was a bit … normal. Wait a minute … scratch that …
“Hey, great toenail polish.” He said sincerely.
Quickly, Angel looked down at her feet. She was still wearing her neon green toenail polish! [OMG! party fowl!]
“Oh … uh, thanks. I didn’t quite plan to be wearing it, but thanks anyway.”
“Hey, it’s you, Angie.” He said, laughing.
Scott rolled his eyes. “I’ll see you guys around later.” He said.
“Where ya goin’ Scotty?” asked Rick.
“I’m just gonna mingle for a while” he said, walking away.
“Hey, here comes Dustin!”
Dustin Rhodes walked up to both of them. His blonde hair was combed back. His blue eyes glittered. Jeans and a T-shirt covered his muscular, yet lanky figure.
“Hey Rick, hey Angel.” He gave Rick a quick hug and bent over and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Rick raised his eyebrows. Angel elbowed him and giggled. “I see you two have met.”
“Yeah. Hey, Sorry to cut this conversation short, but I’m gonna find Scott. Catch you guys later.”
“Bye!” said Angel. It was amazing. She had just met him about ten minutes ago and she already felt like an old friend. [huh?]
“Angel, can we go and talk somewhere?”
“Sure, Dustin, is everything ok?”
“Well, not really.” [uh oh … I smell something that rhymes with flegregious flying] They both walked to a couch in a corner away from the loud noise of the party. “You see, I’ve gotta talk about it to someone, or I feel like I’m going to explode. You understand?” They sat down.
“I’ve got the same feelings. So what’s wrong?”
“Well,” he said with a sigh, “You probably know by now that Barry [that’s his tag team partner, Barry Windham] and I have been going through some rough times. We’ve had our share of fights before, and some of them were pretty bad, but we always seemed to bounce back from them. This time, though, we’re not bouncing very well. The fights just get worse and worse. We can hardly look at e ach other without one of us starting something up. It hasn’t gotten physical, but I’m really afraid that one day it might. Barry and I were closer than brothers. I don’t’ want to see our friendship end like this. to think of all the good times we’ve had …” he looked off and his eyes clouded with tears. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Said Angel, putting her hand on his shoulder. “Dustin, your friendship with Barry isn’t over. Something is bound to happen to change things.” She said softly.
“You’re right, Angel, I just hope that that something isn’t bad.” He hugged her and thanked her, and then went off to see if Scorpio wanted to give him that dance lesson he had promised now [good golly]. Somehow, Angel just couldn’t picture Dustin dancing like 2 Cold Scorpio.
Meanwhile, Rick had finally caught up with Scotty. He was in the kitchen, on the telephone. Rick caught up the tail end of their conversation.
“Marie … Marie, stop it! You know how I …. Fine then! Allright … me too … OK bye.”
“You guys get into another fight?” Asked Rick, spring antennae bobbing.
“Yeah” Scott said shaking his head and exhaling in disgust. “I just called her to ask her what time to pick her up and we got into that!”
“What do you mean? What were you two fighting about?”
“Oh nothing that big,” he said quickly.
Angel decided to check out the munchies. She grabbed a red bell pepper stick. They were her favorite veggie. Oh wait, they had seeds. They were a fruit. While she thought about it, Missy Hyatt came up to the table to grab some Chips.
“Hi Missy.” Angel said.
“Oh … hi.” Said an unethused and frosty-sounding Missy Hyatt. She quickly moved away from Angel. Geez! What’s with her? She thought. Marcus was walking towards her.
“Hey, Angel. Come here often?” asked Marc in his rich, melodious voice. She was so beautiful, especially tonight. Her outfit hugged every curve [?!? She’s wearing a t-shirt tucked into black denim shorts!]. Her long legs tapered into white sandals and …
“Hey … nice toenail polish” he said sarcastically.
“Thanks” she said sourly. She looked down at her watch and frowned. “Sorry to cut this short, Marc, but Bill Watts wants me at the Missouri Omni by 7:00 and if I’m gonna make it there, I’d better leave now.”
“Wait—before you go. There’s something I’ve got to give you.”
He drew her near to him and kissed her passionately.
“Bye.” He said.
“See you later!” said Angel. That was one of the most incredible moments of my life, thought Angel as she said goodbye to everyone. Marcus prayed that Missy didn’t see that. She’d kill him! [dunt dunt DUNNNN!]
NOTES:
1) when will Angel stop marveling over the fact that the wrestlers she meets are muscular? They’re EFFING WRESTLERS.
2) Scott has a girlfriend named Marie … hmm … where have we read that name before? Look out, Scott!
3) What kind of a craptacular party was this? There are chips, cookies, and red bell peppers, but no booze. Also, it’s in full swing well before 7 PM? This sounds like a birthday party for … wait for it … a middle schooler. I was so lame that I couldn’t even imagine parties cooler than the ones I’d been to in seventh grade. Actually, now that I think about it, I got invited to some rockin’ bar mitzvahs that put Sting’s fete to shame. Shout out to Adam Glassman … yours was the best. Here’s to hoping that your name is common enough that no one googles you and comes across this page. Potential employers of Adam Glassman, please know that he’s the smartest person I’ve ever met, and you should totally hire him even though he invited the author of this pabulum to his bar mitzvah.
COMING UP NEXT: Angel and Bobby have a hideously boring conversation in which we learn more of her fascinating backstory and she rewrites history a little bit. Dustin treats us to an extended monologue in which he discusses the details of his troubles with Barry. Odds of him holding himself together enough to manage not to cry: 0 to 1. Join us next time for …. Chapter 4: The Omni
Chapter 3: Sting’s Party
Although Angelica hardly ever fussed about what to wear [which nurse’s uniform is a purer white?], she found herself doing just that now. She had never been on the cutting edge of fashion, she always just bought comfortable clothes she thought looked nice on her. [what an iconoclast]
She finally settled on an apricot tee-shirt with a slight v-neck, and black denim shorts. She tucked the shirt into the shorts and puffed it out. She left on her pair of white open toe sandals and tied her hair into a French braid. [HAWT]
She seldom wore makeup, but when she was little, she had to wear nail polish to stop her from biting her fingernails. Even though she was completely over that habit, Angel still liked to paint her fingernails, and sometimes her toenails too. She removed all of the neon–green nailpolish she had applied on her fingernails and put on some clear. After a final check in her half-length mirror, she was ready to go. [woman, a full-length mirror would have perhaps convinced you to change your shoes, at the very least]
When she arrived at the party, the music was on loud. She wrinkled her nose in distaste. She didn’t like modern music at all [autobiography, here we go]. Doo-wop was her thing. She’d take the Mello-Kings or the Passions over the Red Hot Something Peppers or that guy, Iced Tea, or Lemonade, or whoever.
Sting answered the doorbell. When she looked in she recognized a few faces. Dustin Rhodes, Missy Hyatt, Marc Bagwell, and Ron Simmons. Oh, there was 2 Cold Scorpio!
“Hi Sting!” she said, handing him a box and hugging him.
“Hi Angel. Glad you could make it! What’s in the box?” he inquired, shaking it.
“Chocolate chip cookies. Hope you don’t mind. I baked them this afternoon.”
“Thanks a lot. I’m sure they’re delicious.” He said happily. “You know, I can’t remember the last time I had a home made chocolate chip cookie” [me either. Mmm.]
He led her into the party and introduced her to the people she didn’t know. The last people they came to were Rick and Scott, the Steiner Brothers.
“Rick, Scott, I’d like you to meet a friend of mine, Angelica Kerris, and if you’ll excuse me, the chips need refilling. See ya later.”
“So, Angelica, what do you do in the WCW?” asked Scott.
“I’m a first-aid nurse. I used to work in the WWF, but, uh …. I ran into some …. uh, problems.”
“Got a nickname, Angelica?”
“Angel.”
“Can I call you Angie?” asked Rick.
“Sure.” She said smiling. She looked at them both. She had seen them before, in pictures and on TV, but in person, they were incredible. Scot was tall and very muscular. He had shoulder length brown hair and brown eyes. His older brother, Rick, was a little bit shorter and stouter. He had brown eyes and short brown hair. He had a moustache that extended down to the base of his chin. They were both clad and T-shirts and jeans, but Rick was also wearing one of those headbands that had springy antennae on them. [oh, what a nut!]. Both seemed nice.
Scott thought that Angelica, no, he’d call her Ang, was very pretty, Nice figure, gorgeous blue eyes, beautiful blonde hair. If he didn’t already have a girlfriend …… stop thinking that, Scott, he told himself. Do you want this thing to work out with Marie or not?
Unlike Scott, Rick took his first impressions of people from their personalities. Rick thought that Angie was pretty friendly, although she was a bit … normal. Wait a minute … scratch that …
“Hey, great toenail polish.” He said sincerely.
Quickly, Angel looked down at her feet. She was still wearing her neon green toenail polish! [OMG! party fowl!]
“Oh … uh, thanks. I didn’t quite plan to be wearing it, but thanks anyway.”
“Hey, it’s you, Angie.” He said, laughing.
Scott rolled his eyes. “I’ll see you guys around later.” He said.
“Where ya goin’ Scotty?” asked Rick.
“I’m just gonna mingle for a while” he said, walking away.
“Hey, here comes Dustin!”
Dustin Rhodes walked up to both of them. His blonde hair was combed back. His blue eyes glittered. Jeans and a T-shirt covered his muscular, yet lanky figure.
“Hey Rick, hey Angel.” He gave Rick a quick hug and bent over and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Rick raised his eyebrows. Angel elbowed him and giggled. “I see you two have met.”
“Yeah. Hey, Sorry to cut this conversation short, but I’m gonna find Scott. Catch you guys later.”
“Bye!” said Angel. It was amazing. She had just met him about ten minutes ago and she already felt like an old friend. [huh?]
“Angel, can we go and talk somewhere?”
“Sure, Dustin, is everything ok?”
“Well, not really.” [uh oh … I smell something that rhymes with flegregious flying] They both walked to a couch in a corner away from the loud noise of the party. “You see, I’ve gotta talk about it to someone, or I feel like I’m going to explode. You understand?” They sat down.
“I’ve got the same feelings. So what’s wrong?”
“Well,” he said with a sigh, “You probably know by now that Barry [that’s his tag team partner, Barry Windham] and I have been going through some rough times. We’ve had our share of fights before, and some of them were pretty bad, but we always seemed to bounce back from them. This time, though, we’re not bouncing very well. The fights just get worse and worse. We can hardly look at e ach other without one of us starting something up. It hasn’t gotten physical, but I’m really afraid that one day it might. Barry and I were closer than brothers. I don’t’ want to see our friendship end like this. to think of all the good times we’ve had …” he looked off and his eyes clouded with tears. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Said Angel, putting her hand on his shoulder. “Dustin, your friendship with Barry isn’t over. Something is bound to happen to change things.” She said softly.
“You’re right, Angel, I just hope that that something isn’t bad.” He hugged her and thanked her, and then went off to see if Scorpio wanted to give him that dance lesson he had promised now [good golly]. Somehow, Angel just couldn’t picture Dustin dancing like 2 Cold Scorpio.
Meanwhile, Rick had finally caught up with Scotty. He was in the kitchen, on the telephone. Rick caught up the tail end of their conversation.
“Marie … Marie, stop it! You know how I …. Fine then! Allright … me too … OK bye.”
“You guys get into another fight?” Asked Rick, spring antennae bobbing.
“Yeah” Scott said shaking his head and exhaling in disgust. “I just called her to ask her what time to pick her up and we got into that!”
“What do you mean? What were you two fighting about?”
“Oh nothing that big,” he said quickly.
Angel decided to check out the munchies. She grabbed a red bell pepper stick. They were her favorite veggie. Oh wait, they had seeds. They were a fruit. While she thought about it, Missy Hyatt came up to the table to grab some Chips.
“Hi Missy.” Angel said.
“Oh … hi.” Said an unethused and frosty-sounding Missy Hyatt. She quickly moved away from Angel. Geez! What’s with her? She thought. Marcus was walking towards her.
“Hey, Angel. Come here often?” asked Marc in his rich, melodious voice. She was so beautiful, especially tonight. Her outfit hugged every curve [?!? She’s wearing a t-shirt tucked into black denim shorts!]. Her long legs tapered into white sandals and …
“Hey … nice toenail polish” he said sarcastically.
“Thanks” she said sourly. She looked down at her watch and frowned. “Sorry to cut this short, Marc, but Bill Watts wants me at the Missouri Omni by 7:00 and if I’m gonna make it there, I’d better leave now.”
“Wait—before you go. There’s something I’ve got to give you.”
He drew her near to him and kissed her passionately.
“Bye.” He said.
“See you later!” said Angel. That was one of the most incredible moments of my life, thought Angel as she said goodbye to everyone. Marcus prayed that Missy didn’t see that. She’d kill him! [dunt dunt DUNNNN!]
NOTES:
1) when will Angel stop marveling over the fact that the wrestlers she meets are muscular? They’re EFFING WRESTLERS.
2) Scott has a girlfriend named Marie … hmm … where have we read that name before? Look out, Scott!
3) What kind of a craptacular party was this? There are chips, cookies, and red bell peppers, but no booze. Also, it’s in full swing well before 7 PM? This sounds like a birthday party for … wait for it … a middle schooler. I was so lame that I couldn’t even imagine parties cooler than the ones I’d been to in seventh grade. Actually, now that I think about it, I got invited to some rockin’ bar mitzvahs that put Sting’s fete to shame. Shout out to Adam Glassman … yours was the best. Here’s to hoping that your name is common enough that no one googles you and comes across this page. Potential employers of Adam Glassman, please know that he’s the smartest person I’ve ever met, and you should totally hire him even though he invited the author of this pabulum to his bar mitzvah.
COMING UP NEXT: Angel and Bobby have a hideously boring conversation in which we learn more of her fascinating backstory and she rewrites history a little bit. Dustin treats us to an extended monologue in which he discusses the details of his troubles with Barry. Odds of him holding himself together enough to manage not to cry: 0 to 1. Join us next time for …. Chapter 4: The Omni
Monday, August 18, 2008
Chapter 14: A Turn of Events
Just in case it’s not painfully obvious, I was pretty sick of Marty. Here is his swan song. It’s a particularly inelegant sendoff. But not quite as inelegant as Bru’s.
Chapter 14: A Turn of Events
Marty had not come home last night. Anjel sat in her room in a hotel in Maine, worrying when he finally came home at 7:00 AM he fell fast asleep on his couch. She walked through his open door she nearly tripped over a briefcase she picked it up and it fell open a piece of U.S.A. Wrestle World. [woah run on sentence] It was a very respectable magazine. She opened it and read it while walking back to her room. It was about Marty Jannetty who had just arrived in the USWF! He had a scantily clad manager named Magnificent Marie. There was a picture of Marty and Marie in a liplock. Marie had long flowing black hair that fell to her waist [sound familiar?]. Anjel also read that Marty, when asked about former manager and perhaps even lover, he said “Anjel? Sure we had something—for maybe 5 seconds. Just another pretty face. Dumb Blonde. Now Marie …”
DUMB BLONDE!! She began to cry, which she hardly ever did. [?!?!] She loved him and she was just another pretty face. She cried harder than she had ever cried before. Her phone rang. Mr. Perfect heard the phone. He knocked on her door and opened it when there was no answer. He saw her crying.
“Anjel, honey, what’s wrong?” she handed him the clipping, minus the photo, and he hugged her tightly after reading it. Brutus heard the commotion and came in.
“Oh my gosh, what happened?” Anjel handed him the magazine clipping. He touched her on her shoulder and said “Don’t worry I’ll go talk to him.” He went into Marty’s dressing room and woke him from his sleep.
“Whaaaaa? Brutus? Go away! I’m sleeping.” He said in a murmur.
Brutus flicked the lights on and shoved the article in his face. “What the heck do you think you were doing?” he said [woah awkward verb tenses]
“Oh, this? Well it’s all true. I don’t need her. I’m officially leaving on Tuesday.” He said rubbing his eyes.
“You scum! She saved your life! How could you just toss her aside?”
“It’s a free country!” [touché] he said, now awake. “Now, Please, get out.”
Brutus shook his head in disgust. He left the room and went into Anjel’s room.
“Look Anjel, I know that this is not the best time to tell you this, but I’m moving back to San Francisco.” Said Brutus. “I’ll write. I promise you. My plane leaves in ½ an hour. I’ll miss you so much.” He said and kissed her goodbye. He left before he could cry in front of Mr. Perfect [hallelujah]
“The nerve of that guy! You think he’d tell you in advance! How could he drop a bombshell on you with that kind of impact. Especially now.” said Mr. Perfect
Anjel sobbed “My whole life is falling apart.”
Mr. Perfect squoze her tightly. “Don’t worry, Anjel. Everything will turn out OK. Every thing is going to be OK” he soothed. “Look, I know how you feel. When Nightshade left me, I thought things could not get any worse, but now with Bobby and Ric Hating my guts, I guess they did. [now there are some words of encouragement]. But, Anjel, I want you to remember one thing no matter how bad things get for either of us (pause) I’ll always love you.” [somebody cue Whitney Houston]
She locked eyes with him and replied, in a quavering voice “I’ll always love you, too. Forever.” She swallowed and said “Thank you so much. You don’t know how much better you made me feel by saying that.” They just kind of sat like that for a while, with Mr. Perfect’s arms around Anjel’s shoulders. He did not want to leave her until he was sure she would be OK. Finally after along time spent talking softly to one another about things like their childhood, their parents, ad their homes, anything to keep Anjel’s mind off of Current times Anjel fell asleep on Mr. Perfect’s shoulder. Being tired himself, he gently laid her down on the couch and spread a blanket over her, trying hard not to awake her [or the readers. Zzzz]
Anjel awoke around 11:00 AM next morning. Painful memories of the night before came back. She showered and changed her clothes.
The next two weeks were hard. Anjel had never felt so alone in her life. Mr. Perfect was there for her, but ever since his split with Flair, he’d been obsessed with revenge. Anjel needed a job—badly. [what, no offers to be a doctor?] She had gone to countless job interviews, filled out infinate resumes until one day, she found a job. She was over-qualified for it and knew that it was something that she would enjoy doing. It was time to begin a new life. With her new career as a first aid Nurse for WCW.
THE END???
This is not the end. It is merely the beginning of a new life for Anjel, with new relationships, new enemies, and most importantly, new friends. Continued in BOOK 2 – Angelica’s New Life
NOTES:
1) Why is Marty carrying around magazine clippings in a briefcase? Wait, why does Marty even have a briefcase? He’s a professional wrestler, not an investment banker.
2) Man. Brutus has some timing in announcing his trip back to SF. I wonder if he’s trying to get me to write Reunited Part III.
3) So by this point in my career as a wrestling fan, I was starting to like WCW more than WWF. No, this has nothing to do with the Monday Night Wars or the Outsiders or any of the stuff that made WCW popular in the Nitro era. This was 1993. The Hollywood Blondes, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, 2 Cold Scorpio … why did I get so obsessed? No clue. But I did. And I decided that I needed to shake things up. So off to WCW goes our sparkling Mary Sue! But what horrible allergies and fonts of tears await her there? You’ll find out in … Chapter 1: Introductions. [Yes, I restarted the chapters. Hey, it's a free country!]
Chapter 14: A Turn of Events
Marty had not come home last night. Anjel sat in her room in a hotel in Maine, worrying when he finally came home at 7:00 AM he fell fast asleep on his couch. She walked through his open door she nearly tripped over a briefcase she picked it up and it fell open a piece of U.S.A. Wrestle World. [woah run on sentence] It was a very respectable magazine. She opened it and read it while walking back to her room. It was about Marty Jannetty who had just arrived in the USWF! He had a scantily clad manager named Magnificent Marie. There was a picture of Marty and Marie in a liplock. Marie had long flowing black hair that fell to her waist [sound familiar?]. Anjel also read that Marty, when asked about former manager and perhaps even lover, he said “Anjel? Sure we had something—for maybe 5 seconds. Just another pretty face. Dumb Blonde. Now Marie …”
DUMB BLONDE!! She began to cry, which she hardly ever did. [?!?!] She loved him and she was just another pretty face. She cried harder than she had ever cried before. Her phone rang. Mr. Perfect heard the phone. He knocked on her door and opened it when there was no answer. He saw her crying.
“Anjel, honey, what’s wrong?” she handed him the clipping, minus the photo, and he hugged her tightly after reading it. Brutus heard the commotion and came in.
“Oh my gosh, what happened?” Anjel handed him the magazine clipping. He touched her on her shoulder and said “Don’t worry I’ll go talk to him.” He went into Marty’s dressing room and woke him from his sleep.
“Whaaaaa? Brutus? Go away! I’m sleeping.” He said in a murmur.
Brutus flicked the lights on and shoved the article in his face. “What the heck do you think you were doing?” he said [woah awkward verb tenses]
“Oh, this? Well it’s all true. I don’t need her. I’m officially leaving on Tuesday.” He said rubbing his eyes.
“You scum! She saved your life! How could you just toss her aside?”
“It’s a free country!” [touché] he said, now awake. “Now, Please, get out.”
Brutus shook his head in disgust. He left the room and went into Anjel’s room.
“Look Anjel, I know that this is not the best time to tell you this, but I’m moving back to San Francisco.” Said Brutus. “I’ll write. I promise you. My plane leaves in ½ an hour. I’ll miss you so much.” He said and kissed her goodbye. He left before he could cry in front of Mr. Perfect [hallelujah]
“The nerve of that guy! You think he’d tell you in advance! How could he drop a bombshell on you with that kind of impact. Especially now.” said Mr. Perfect
Anjel sobbed “My whole life is falling apart.”
Mr. Perfect squoze her tightly. “Don’t worry, Anjel. Everything will turn out OK. Every thing is going to be OK” he soothed. “Look, I know how you feel. When Nightshade left me, I thought things could not get any worse, but now with Bobby and Ric Hating my guts, I guess they did. [now there are some words of encouragement]. But, Anjel, I want you to remember one thing no matter how bad things get for either of us (pause) I’ll always love you.” [somebody cue Whitney Houston]
She locked eyes with him and replied, in a quavering voice “I’ll always love you, too. Forever.” She swallowed and said “Thank you so much. You don’t know how much better you made me feel by saying that.” They just kind of sat like that for a while, with Mr. Perfect’s arms around Anjel’s shoulders. He did not want to leave her until he was sure she would be OK. Finally after along time spent talking softly to one another about things like their childhood, their parents, ad their homes, anything to keep Anjel’s mind off of Current times Anjel fell asleep on Mr. Perfect’s shoulder. Being tired himself, he gently laid her down on the couch and spread a blanket over her, trying hard not to awake her [or the readers. Zzzz]
Anjel awoke around 11:00 AM next morning. Painful memories of the night before came back. She showered and changed her clothes.
The next two weeks were hard. Anjel had never felt so alone in her life. Mr. Perfect was there for her, but ever since his split with Flair, he’d been obsessed with revenge. Anjel needed a job—badly. [what, no offers to be a doctor?] She had gone to countless job interviews, filled out infinate resumes until one day, she found a job. She was over-qualified for it and knew that it was something that she would enjoy doing. It was time to begin a new life. With her new career as a first aid Nurse for WCW.
THE END???
This is not the end. It is merely the beginning of a new life for Anjel, with new relationships, new enemies, and most importantly, new friends. Continued in BOOK 2 – Angelica’s New Life
NOTES:
1) Why is Marty carrying around magazine clippings in a briefcase? Wait, why does Marty even have a briefcase? He’s a professional wrestler, not an investment banker.
2) Man. Brutus has some timing in announcing his trip back to SF. I wonder if he’s trying to get me to write Reunited Part III.
3) So by this point in my career as a wrestling fan, I was starting to like WCW more than WWF. No, this has nothing to do with the Monday Night Wars or the Outsiders or any of the stuff that made WCW popular in the Nitro era. This was 1993. The Hollywood Blondes, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, 2 Cold Scorpio … why did I get so obsessed? No clue. But I did. And I decided that I needed to shake things up. So off to WCW goes our sparkling Mary Sue! But what horrible allergies and fonts of tears await her there? You’ll find out in … Chapter 1: Introductions. [Yes, I restarted the chapters. Hey, it's a free country!]
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Chapter 13: A Perfect Point of View
(just tuning in? Hello! Please read the introduction first!)
This story marked my first foray into first-person narrative. It also marked my last.
Times I cringed retyping this: 6. Enjoy!
Chapter 13: A Perfect Point of View
“Mr. Perfect, I would like you to meet our lovely new executive consultette, Nightshade.” said Ric Flair to me, Mr. Perfect. In stepped a woman with black, shiny hair that hung down a little above her waist. She had deep, intriging green eyes that caut your attention immediatly. Nightshade … isn’t that a poisonous fungus. If this woman is a poisonous fungus I’ll quit my job and become a monk.
Sunny Marie Tyler meet Curt Hennig.” said Ric
The beautiful stranger cringed at her name.
“Please don’t call me that. Look at me. Do I look Sunny?”
She was wearing a slightly off the shoulder dress with a long skirt. [a dress and a skirt?] it was black and did not fit her first name at all.
“Can’t say that you do, dear Can’t say that you do, look, why don’t you two kids get to know each other I am going to find Bobby.” halfway out the door Ric Flair stopped. “Almost forgot, Nightshade—gimmie a ‘Whoooo!” he said
“Whooo!” replied the consultette in her sultry, silky voice.
Ric Flair praised her “Whoo” and left us alone I smiled at her and she smiled back. Her smile melted my entire inside.
<><><> [I drew weird shapes to signify a perspective shift]
Oh god, he’s smiling at me. I think he likes me – Smile back-good-hey, what’s wrong with him liking me? He’s nice looking. Not as gorgeous as that guy I had last week …. but not bad [look out, Mr. P. she’s no good!]
<><><>
“You can call me N.S. if you’d like.” she told me [yes, that flows off the tongue much nicer]
“Okay.” I said “You can call me Mr. P. If you want.”
“So, Mr. P. where are you from?”
“Minneapolis, Minnesota. And you?”
“New York, New York.”
“Ah, the big apple.” I said searching for something good to say.
“Yeah, I grew up on the sounds of gunshots in the night.”
“Wasn’t that a Frank Sinatra song?”
She laughed. Her laugh was just about the sweetest thing in the world
<><><>
Hey, he’s pretty funny. I could get along with this guy O.K.
<><><>
“Oh, Do you like the Big Band era, I love Bobby Darin!” she told/asked me. “I’m an oldies fan” [what a coincidence, so was I. I obsessively collected Frankie Valli songs. But that’s a whole ‘nother blog]
“Um, not really, I’m an Elton John man myself.” [how is that not oldies?] Why didn’t I lie?
“So, why don’t you show me around?” she asked me
I gave her the grand tour. Passing by Anjel’s old room kind of made a lump in my throat but I pushed it down and moved on [ooh, so close to more egregious crying!]
“And we complete the tour at your room.” which was across the hall from mine –yes!
I handed her the keys and her extra set, which she gave to ME!!!
“Hey, who else do I know?” she explained
<><><>
Oh, what the heck, if you want to know what kind of a guy he was I should go ahead and do it. – Shoop Shoop!
<><><>
Right then she kissed me. WOW! Not just a little baby kiss either, right on the lips. WOW! I hope I returned it effectively.
<><><>
Ooh! Hose me down! Not bad at all! Pretty good actually. OK, OK, Fantastic.
<><><>
She is hot stuff!
Later in the evening, while I was in the dressing room I share with Bobby, I thought about what happened today, and realized that I could not wait for tomorrow.
TO BE CONTINUED …
Notes:
1) Again with the misconception of dressing rooms. It’s like I thought they all lived and worked in one big building instead of traveling around the country and staying in hotel rooms.
2) I wasn’t sure of Mr. Perfect’s exact age, but I do remember thinking that he was about 30. So … I wasn’t trying to pretend he was 14 or anything; I just assumed that this was the way 30-year old men thought. That being said, being close to 30 myself, I wouldn’t mind if I kissed a guy and had him react by thinking “WOW!” in all caps. I would, however, be alarmed if he was amazed that it was on the lips.
3) Re: the oldies. I think I’ve described my obsession with wrestling effectively. I was obsessed to a similar degree with Frankie Valli and the 4 Seasons. I had a ridiculously large collection of their albums. I think I had songs they didn’t even remember recording. Not only did I collect them, I made alphabetical, color-coded lists of their songs. And this was before I had a computer, so any time I got a new song, I would have to redo the list. I then made alphabetic mix tapes and listened to them over and over. But I digress. So because I only listened to oldies, I had no clue what was happening in the world of modern music. Thus, all of my characters only listen to oldies. The “Shoop Shoop” line is a reference to “It’s in His Kiss (The Shoop Shoop Song)” by Betty Everett (later recorded by Cher), to which the lyrics are: “If you wanna know if he loves you so, it’s in his kiss.” Good golly. Just … good golly.
Coming up next: The continuation of “A Perfect Point of View,” in which Nightshade begins to show her true colors. That hussy.
This story marked my first foray into first-person narrative. It also marked my last.
Times I cringed retyping this: 6. Enjoy!
Chapter 13: A Perfect Point of View
“Mr. Perfect, I would like you to meet our lovely new executive consultette, Nightshade.” said Ric Flair to me, Mr. Perfect. In stepped a woman with black, shiny hair that hung down a little above her waist. She had deep, intriging green eyes that caut your attention immediatly. Nightshade … isn’t that a poisonous fungus. If this woman is a poisonous fungus I’ll quit my job and become a monk.
Sunny Marie Tyler meet Curt Hennig.” said Ric
The beautiful stranger cringed at her name.
“Please don’t call me that. Look at me. Do I look Sunny?”
She was wearing a slightly off the shoulder dress with a long skirt. [a dress and a skirt?] it was black and did not fit her first name at all.
“Can’t say that you do, dear Can’t say that you do, look, why don’t you two kids get to know each other I am going to find Bobby.” halfway out the door Ric Flair stopped. “Almost forgot, Nightshade—gimmie a ‘Whoooo!” he said
“Whooo!” replied the consultette in her sultry, silky voice.
Ric Flair praised her “Whoo” and left us alone I smiled at her and she smiled back. Her smile melted my entire inside.
<><><> [I drew weird shapes to signify a perspective shift]
Oh god, he’s smiling at me. I think he likes me – Smile back-good-hey, what’s wrong with him liking me? He’s nice looking. Not as gorgeous as that guy I had last week …. but not bad [look out, Mr. P. she’s no good!]
<><><>
“You can call me N.S. if you’d like.” she told me [yes, that flows off the tongue much nicer]
“Okay.” I said “You can call me Mr. P. If you want.”
“So, Mr. P. where are you from?”
“Minneapolis, Minnesota. And you?”
“New York, New York.”
“Ah, the big apple.” I said searching for something good to say.
“Yeah, I grew up on the sounds of gunshots in the night.”
“Wasn’t that a Frank Sinatra song?”
She laughed. Her laugh was just about the sweetest thing in the world
<><><>
Hey, he’s pretty funny. I could get along with this guy O.K.
<><><>
“Oh, Do you like the Big Band era, I love Bobby Darin!” she told/asked me. “I’m an oldies fan” [what a coincidence, so was I. I obsessively collected Frankie Valli songs. But that’s a whole ‘nother blog]
“Um, not really, I’m an Elton John man myself.” [how is that not oldies?] Why didn’t I lie?
“So, why don’t you show me around?” she asked me
I gave her the grand tour. Passing by Anjel’s old room kind of made a lump in my throat but I pushed it down and moved on [ooh, so close to more egregious crying!]
“And we complete the tour at your room.” which was across the hall from mine –yes!
I handed her the keys and her extra set, which she gave to ME!!!
“Hey, who else do I know?” she explained
<><><>
Oh, what the heck, if you want to know what kind of a guy he was I should go ahead and do it. – Shoop Shoop!
<><><>
Right then she kissed me. WOW! Not just a little baby kiss either, right on the lips. WOW! I hope I returned it effectively.
<><><>
Ooh! Hose me down! Not bad at all! Pretty good actually. OK, OK, Fantastic.
<><><>
She is hot stuff!
Later in the evening, while I was in the dressing room I share with Bobby, I thought about what happened today, and realized that I could not wait for tomorrow.
TO BE CONTINUED …
Notes:
1) Again with the misconception of dressing rooms. It’s like I thought they all lived and worked in one big building instead of traveling around the country and staying in hotel rooms.
2) I wasn’t sure of Mr. Perfect’s exact age, but I do remember thinking that he was about 30. So … I wasn’t trying to pretend he was 14 or anything; I just assumed that this was the way 30-year old men thought. That being said, being close to 30 myself, I wouldn’t mind if I kissed a guy and had him react by thinking “WOW!” in all caps. I would, however, be alarmed if he was amazed that it was on the lips.
3) Re: the oldies. I think I’ve described my obsession with wrestling effectively. I was obsessed to a similar degree with Frankie Valli and the 4 Seasons. I had a ridiculously large collection of their albums. I think I had songs they didn’t even remember recording. Not only did I collect them, I made alphabetical, color-coded lists of their songs. And this was before I had a computer, so any time I got a new song, I would have to redo the list. I then made alphabetic mix tapes and listened to them over and over. But I digress. So because I only listened to oldies, I had no clue what was happening in the world of modern music. Thus, all of my characters only listen to oldies. The “Shoop Shoop” line is a reference to “It’s in His Kiss (The Shoop Shoop Song)” by Betty Everett (later recorded by Cher), to which the lyrics are: “If you wanna know if he loves you so, it’s in his kiss.” Good golly. Just … good golly.
Coming up next: The continuation of “A Perfect Point of View,” in which Nightshade begins to show her true colors. That hussy.
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