HOLY GUACAMOLE, Y'ALL!!
Look, I didn't forget. I just got massively sidetracked. I've been thinking about updating this for months. Months!!! And now, the time has come.
Ok, so where were we? Dang, it's been a while. Let's see ...
Justina and Chris are having relations even though Chris is clearly not over Angel, for some unfathomable reason. Alex is cheating on Dustin with Barry, who continues to be awesome. Marie/Violet/Nightshade is trying to lure Scott back into her Evil Web for some reason that probably has to do with Angel, and Angel is embarking upon a seriously gross "relationship" with Jeff "Armsocks" Hardy. Bobby, Felicia, and Mysterious Brother Danny have pretty much fallen off the face of the earth. Or maybe they're hanging out with Mr. P. and Brutus.
Well, now that we're all up to speed, let's get on with this mess.
Chapter 66: Driving South
Angel’s mind was unusually clear as the miles accumulated on her odometer. The farther south she drove, the less stressed she felt [that’s probably because there’s a lot less traffic down here]. She was escaping—albeit temporarily—to an unfamiliar place with a relatively unfamiliar person. [note to Angel: this also sounds like a set-up for a horror movie. Just saying]
“Well,” she reasoned to herself, “it’s not entirely unfamiliar … I mean, I’ve been there plenty of times for shows, but to stay somewhere other than a hotel … and with Jeff … that is of course, the unfamiliar thrill.” [good gravy, she even THINKS with ellipses.]
And, truth be told, she was way less apprehensive than she had any right to be. But Jeff didn’t intimidate her, and oddly enough, neither did the prospect of losing her virginity to him—what made Angel feel sick with anger, pain, and confusion was Chris. Driving away from Chris, therefore, seemed like the best idea in the world. She knew it was only temporary, but that fact did not deter her in the slightest.
She remembered when Marty had first suggested sex to her. [Was it before or after he had the flu for seven months?]. They had been dating for a while and, looking back on it, Angel thought that the notion of them having sex was probably way less monumental to Marty than it had been to her. She had been young—quite a few years younger than him—and just embarking upon a new career. Marty was sweet and warm [that was probably the fever], and always seemed perfectly content to wait until Angel was ready.
Until, of course, he cheated on her with Marie.
“Didn’t even have the guts to tell me himself,” she muttered to herself.
But that was the pattern, wasn’t it? Find a wonderful guy, be magically happy, keep him physically distant, get cheated on, find out from someone else.
But that would change with Jeff. The pattern would break. Jeff would get the reverse—her body, but not her heart.
She pulled into the gas station and filled the tank. [a pivotal plot point, no doubt] Before resuming her trip, she called Jeff.
“Hey there. Just letting you know I’m about forty minutes away, according to these directions.”
“That sounds great, Angel. I’m psyched. Hey, do you like ranch dressing?” [un-oh, this sounds kinky]
“Who doesn’t?”
“People with no taste, I guess. I’ll see you soon.”
Angel smiled, closed the phone [wooo flip-phones! I’ve still got one!], and started the engine.
NOTES:
1) I don't remember when I wrote this one, but it was obviously after the invention of non-Zack-Morris-sized cell phones. This fact is embarrassing.
COMING UP NEXT:
We get back into the Dustin/Alex/Barry plot as Chris tries to figure out what to do with his burdensome knowledge. There is a toaster involved. Tune in next time for ...
Chapter 67: Continental Breakfast
