Chapter 68: Angel Arrives

I was planning on writing a quick recap, but I think it's pretty easy to pick up where we left off ... it's not, like, The Brothers Karamazov or anything.

SO ... without further ado (I thought that was "adieu" for years, people)


CHAPTER 68 - Angel Arrives

Jeff's house was not quite the bachelor pad that Angel had pictured. Yes, there were three different video game systems and a miniature music studio in the form of a guitar hooked up to a computer [if that doesn't scream "bachelor pad!," I don't know what does], but that was about it in terms of stereotypical guy paraphernalia. The rest of the house was fairly nondescript.

"It's not much yet. I just bought it a year or so ago. Haven't had a lot of time to fix it up. Been on the road a lot."

"It's nice," Angel said. "Lots of potential."

Jeff laughed. "Potential! That's like a polite way of saying that it's not a total craphole."  [LANGUAGE, Jeffery!]

"Craphole wasn't even in my mind. It doesn't look junky, it just looks slightly ... impersonal?"

"Like a hotel room."

"Exactly. We can't seem to get away from those, can we?"

"I guess not."

"So how was your trip down here?"

"Uneventful. Always a good thing."

"You didn't pick up any hitchhikers who turned out to be chainsaw-wielding maniacs?"

"How would I have not seen the chainsaw before I let him in?"

"He could have been wearing a bulky coat." [This sure is "witty" banter.]

"Very unsuspicious. Especially in this heat."

"Speaking of which, like any good hotel, I do have a pool. Wanna see it?"

"Totally."

Jeff led Angel through the house to the back patio.  A gorgeous kidney-shaped pool sparkled from the middle of the lawn. [uhm, I know that's fancy and all, but the term "kidney-shaped" just kind of sucks the glamour right out of it].

"Ooh, that's beautiful."

"You did bring your swimsuit, didn't you?"

"Of course. You only reminded me a dozen times."

"Fantastic. Well, here's my plan. Tonight, I've got a Jeff-Hardy-authored dinner headed your way. Ranch dressing is involved, but  I promise that other foods are involved. Tomorrow, my brother and a bunch of our friends are dropping by, but tonight's just you and me. We've go the pool, darts, like a hundred DVD's, and an embarrassment of riches when it comes to video games. [and also: my wang]. Do you play Madden?"

"Nope. Sorry. I was pretty good at Duck Hunt back in the day, though."

"I rocked at that. As long as I stood like six inches away from the TV, of course."

Angel laughed. "Cheater."

"How is that cheating? Everyone has the same advantage, provided that everyone else also stands six inches from the screen. So hey, dinner just has to go into the oven. It won't take long. Why don't I show you to your room so you can get settled in and whatnot?"

"Sounds good."

Jeff led Angel to the spare bedroom. It had a queen bed, a nightstand with a lamp, and not much else.

"Sorry," Jeff said. "This is even emptier than a hotel room. But if it's any consolation, you have your own bathroom. And my room is not much better in terms of decor."

"It's fine, Jeff. Feels like home!"

Jeff laughed. "Sad, sad. So this is your only bag or do you have more in the car?"

"Nope, that's it." [a vital plot point, no doubt]

"Great. Well I'll leave you to change." [for what? are they having a formal dinner? I didn't hear a description of a crystal chandelier, candelabras, a grand piano, and a twirly staircase as he showed her around]

"Sounds good." Angel took the bag from Jeff. As their hands touched, they both seemed struck by the same electricity. [oh glory ... here we go ...]  Teh bag hit the floor and Angel drew in a sharp breath. She pulled Jeff closer to her and their lips met.

Before either one of them was completely aware of what was going on, they were on the bed, clothes well into the process of being completely removed.

"Angel," Jeff half-whispered. "I had candles. I have candles. And, like, romantic music and ..." his words were cut off by Angel.

"Don't need those, Jeff."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

He grabbed her hand and placed it to his lips. "You're ... sure? About this, I mean? I don't want you to feel pressured or ..."

"Yes, Jeff. I'm sure. I want this. I want you."  [uggggggggggggggggg]

"Allright, Angel. God knows I want you too. But even if we don't need candles, we do need something else." He rolled to the side of the bed and opened the nightstand drawer to get a condom. [wait a minute ... he put condoms in the drawer of the nightstand in her bedroom?  I mean ... hooray for safe sex and all ... but ... uhh ... presumptuous much?]

"Jeff?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad I'm here."

He laughed. "Me too."

__________________________________________-
NOTES:

1)  I swear, that was the end. I'm not even censoring anything embarrassing. That's it. Exciting, no?


2)  What kind of laugh do you think that was at the end there?  A mischievous laugh? A "sexy" laugh? An evil laugh, like a cartoon villain? 

3) I know it's been said before, but Angel dated Chris for a really long time, he was super duper nice and blah blah blah and she never even let him get past second base?  I'm not saying that just because you're dating someone for a long time that you have to have a certain amount of physical frolicking, but it does seem  a bit weird that Angel's pretty much ready to drop trou after knowing Jeff for like 40 seconds.  Maybe it was the kidney-shaped pool.

COMING UP NEXT ...

Marie and Scott talk about things.  We get some sort of hint as to what Marie is up to, but not really.

Join us next time for ... CHAPTER 69 - Revelry.

Before I add a new chapter, let's have a quick recap to refresh everyone's memories.

CHARACTER ROUNDUP:

Angel - The nicest, kindest, most beautifullest, bestest person EVER. Every man on the planet instantly falls in love with her. The epitome of Mary Sues. Head Nurse of WCW and makes slammin' chocolate chip cookies. Fond of apricot V-neck T-shirts.  Gets her heart broken over and over again by the men in her life. In her mid-twenties, but still a virgin for a reason she has not yet clearly articulated.  Has a brother named Danny that no one (even the reading audience) has ever met. Most recently dated Chris, is currently cavorting around with Jeff "Armsocks" Hardy, the "bad boy" everyone is warning her about!


Jeff - I think Dustin's warning to Angel sums him up best: “He’s just … he’s a bad sort. Our partying all the time, going through women like water … he’s no gentleman.” 

Marie/Violet/Nightshade/Sunny  - Angel's evil arch-nemesis. The reason why she has four names is really dumb. I tried explaining it succinctly here, but it always came out too boring to read because it's so convoluted and stupid.  Once threw a hotel Bible. 

Chris - Angel's last boyfriend. From Canada. Has brown hair.  Uhm ... I don't know if thee's anything else to say about him. He's supposed to be funny and good-natured, but I don't know if that comes across in the way he's written. Anyhoo, he and Angel dated for a long while, but the machinations of Evil Marie/Violet/Nightshade/Sunny ruined all of that! Now he's with Justina, but can't seem to forget about Angel.

Justina - Chris' girlfriend. She and Chris dated in college, then broke up so he could pursue his dream of becoming a wrestler. The machinations of Evil Marie brought them back together at the expense of Chris and Angel's twu wuv.

Dustin - A tall, blonde, faux cowboy. Is married to Alex.  Is probably secretly in love with Angel.Was best friends with Barry, but their bromance met a sad end after a fight over a lady. [FLASHBACK: "Barry’s been sore ever since Alex picked me over him. It’s silly ‘cause it’s not my fault, it’s not his fault, heck, it’s not even Alex’s fault really ... I knew that it was bound to cause turbulence. But, heck, to still be arguing about it 4 ½ months after it happened?"] 

Barry - The other villain. He's sleeping with Dustin's wife, Alex. He is fun.

Scott - Dated Marie, but they broke up because he found out that she was super mean to Angel! And We! Can't! Have! That!  Is probably secretly in love with Angel. 

Rick -Scott's "wacky" brother. He likes to lecture people about not having sex (again, for a reason that has never been clearly articulated).  


Madusa, aka Deuce - Angel's only female friend. She lives far away somewhere and drive Monster Trucks. 


Bobby, Marty, Marcus, Mr. P., Brutus, Felicia, Sting, Shawn, Sherri, and about 1000 other characters:   They have disappeared into the ether, I think. Wherever they are, they lack access to modern communication devices. 

Well ... I think that does it for the major characters.  I'll pull you up to speed on the most recent plot "developments" next time. 

HOLY MOLY, people. Has it really been this long? I suppose it has.

 Well ... let's see ... what's been going on in my life to justify this sort of lapse? I got a new job, moved into a new house, and had a baby. I guess that about covers it. Even through all of that, I seriously never stopped thinking about updating this here corner of the internets. I just had other things to do first. And those things are done. So now, I'm going to do my best to keep posting until I run out of material. Judging from the look of my beloved marble notebooks, that should take a while.

Are you ready? (Just as an aside, I don't actually know if I'm talking to anyone but myself here)

COMING UP TOMORROW: A condensed recap of what's been going on (for your benefit and my own) and then ... chapter the next: ANGEL ARRIVES!