(just joining us? Hi! Please read the introduction first!)
Chapter 10: “Two Faces”
As I “matured” as a wrestling fan, I started exclusively liking the bad guys (known in wrestling lingo as “heels” – good guys are “faces”). Mr. Perfect soon became my favorite guy. He had stopped wrestling full time and was instead working as Ric Flair’s manager and a color commentator on Prime Time Wrestling, which was the ancestor of Monday Night Raw. (I wrote a poem about it … you’ll get that one of these days). At the time I was writing, Prime Time Wrestling was basically a recap of the week’s matches with a roundtable discussion by Vince McMahon, Hillbilly Jim, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Mr. Perfect, and Bobby Heenan (best commentator ever). Anyhoo, I knew I had to get Mr. Perfect into the story, but wasn’t sure how to do it … there was no ostensible reason he and Anjel would ever be friends … Marty was a face and he was a heel … they should be natural enemies! So I decided that Mr. Perfect was probably a good guy on the inside, and Anjel would of course bring that out in him.
Enjoy!
“Two Faces”
1 Hr. before ***~~~PRIME TIME WRESTLING~~~***
“We need a replacement for Bobby Heenan” said Vince McMahon. In only an hour!”
“How about Mean Gene?”
“No good. Filming an interview.”
“Sean Mooney?” “Lord Alfred?”
“Day off.”
(Mr. Perfect enters.)
“Where’s Bobby?” he asked, searching for his best friend.
“Sick.”
Mr. Perfect looked concerned. [see the glimmer of good in him? SEE IT?]
“We need a replacement!” repeated Vince. Someone with color, pizzazz!”
“Hey. How about Anjel?” said Hillbilly Jim.
“Great idea! I’ll call her.” said Vince. Mr. Perfect rolled his aqua eyes.
“It’s all set!”
10 minutes later, Anjel arrived.
9:22
Mr. Perfect was making crack after crack at Marty.
“He used him like a doormat!” [OH SNAP!]
Anjel couldn’t take it anymore. She stood up and dumped a pitcher of water on Mr. P’s head. Then she ran to the front of the building and sat on the steps, holding back tears.
Mr. Perfect felt horrible about what he did. He had to apologize. He went outside and sat down next to Anjel he touched her shoulder.
“Anjel. I … I’m really sorry.” he said in as oft, kind voice. One Anjel had never heard him use. She locked eyes with him.
“I didn’t mean to make you mad. I … I just …. I need to let off steam about not having Bobby around and I take it out on you. I don’t know why, but I am very sorry. Please accept my apology.” he said in the same soft voice.
“You’re forgiven. And I’m really sorry I dumped the water on your head. I don’t mind when you poke at me but Marty can’t defend himself if he’s not here!” said Anjel.
Mr. Perfect smiled.
“I deserved the water on my head. It served me ri … ri … ri…” he turned his head and sneezed twice in a row.
“Bless you” said Anjel.
“Thank you” said Mr. Perfect.
“I hope the water didn’t give you a cold. It is freezing out here. I’d feel terrible knowing it was my fault.” said Anjel.
“Let’s go inside. It is cold.” said Mr. Perfect
They entered Prime Time Wrestling during a commercial.
“2 minutes til we’re on” said a stagehand.
Mr. Perfect sneezed again.
“Bless you” said Anjel, handing him a tissue. [does she carry them up her sleeve like various grandmas I know?]
“Thank you” said Mr. Perfect and accepted the tissue.
“You know, you’re a real sweet girl.” said Mr. P.
“A tissue and I am forgiven of all sins!” said Anjel. “At first I thought you were a creep, but you’re a pretty O.K. guy once I got to know you.” she said, smiling. [Yes, they did have a pretty deep, soul-searching conversation out there on the steps.]
11:17 – After the Show
Everyone had gone home except Anjel, who was waiting for Marty to come pick her up and Mr. P., who was talking with her.
“That was really funny when Hacksaw Jim’s 2X4 slid out of his hand and fell behind him.” said Anjel.
“Yeah and when Hillbilly Jim dropped his horseshoe on his foot.” said Mr. P.
[the next 2 pages have smudged a lot. Curse you, devotion to only writing in pencil! At any rate, I’m pretty sure Mr. Perfect sneezes some more, but only when Anjel gets close to him. Mr. P. deduces that he is allergic to her perfume, “Tropical Mist.” She washes it off and everything is fine. Ready for the ending? I am.]
“Good thing you stopped sneezing, I’m out of tissues!” she said.
And they’ve been friends ever since!
Notes:
1) No, seriously, WTF was that? I think I based that on an episode of Gilligan’s Island where everyone sneezed when they came too close to Gilligan because he started wearing some homemade cologne. I evidently found that to be a plot device so compelling/funny/whatever that it had to be revisited in my own oeuvre.
2) I love that Mr. Perfect and Anjel’s intense bonding session mainly consists of her giving him tissues, followed by them having a brief, awkward giggle-fest at the expense of their hapless co-hosts.
3) Remember the name “Tropical Mist” … you haven’t seen the last of this evil potion of sneeze-inducing doom! Continuity was my forte. Usually.
COMING NEXT: “Reunited PT. 2” What will become of Laurie and Brutus? Will Anjel regret meddling in Brutus’ personal life? Will anyone be allergic to anything? Will Marty have any lines? Tune in tomorrow!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Chapter 9: Reunited
So this is the one that inspired me to share. It's bad. It's got terrible dialogue, of course, but it's also got some awesome pacing. I had characters make and act on rash decisions -- such as travelling across the country to find a friend's long-lost girlfriend -- in a matter of seconds. Trying to find a bathroom, however, took a considerably longer time.
Enjoy!
Chapter 9: Reunited
A lonely and depressed Brutus Beefcake sat in his dressing room staring at an old photograph. A knock came from his door.
“Come in” he said.
“25 minutes til the Barber Shop, Brutus” said Anjel.
“Thanks” he said in an empty and sad voice. [gee, he seems a bit down]
Angel closed the door.
“What’s wrong Brutus?” she asked softly.
“I found this old picture of my girlfriend Laurie Traynor” Brutus said handing the photo to Anjel. Laurie was pretty. She had short brown hair and big blue eyes.
“What happened to her?” asked Anjel.
“We had just finished high school. We were both aspiring hair stylists. We really loved each other and I was going to ask her to marry me. Vince McMahon came one day and asked me if I wanted to consider professional wrestling. Laurie knew how much this meant to me and told me to go for it. I asked her to come with me, but her life was in San Francisco she couldn’t leave, but she said to live out my dream. I still remember the day I left, we were both crying when I boarded the train …” he broke off and tears filled his eyes.
Anjel hugged him for a long time. Brutus really needed that. He wiped his eyes.
“Thanks, Anjel.” He said, “Can I have a few minutes to think?” he asked
“Sure,” said Anjel and closed the door softly behind her.
Poor Brutus! His story had almost made Anjel cry. She went ino to check on Marty who had the flue and a 102 degree temperature [sick again?!?]. She told him Brutus’s story and he agreed that something had to be done
Marty assured Anjel that he would be fine on his own so Anjel booked a flight to San Francisco. When she looked in the phone book and found-
Laurel Traynor
76 Viking Ave
Anjel hopped a cab and rang the doorbell of 76 Viking Ave. A young woman with shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes opened the door [see? Time passed. Her hair grew.]
“Are you Laurie Traynor?”
“Yes.”
“Did you know a man named Brutus Beefcake?”
“Oh, my God. Brutus. Please Come in.”
Anjel told Laurie the entire story from who she was to the talk she had with Brutus.
They booked a flight to Washington, where Wrestling Challenge was.
“Do you think he’ll recognize me?” asked Laurie.
“I’m positive” said Anjel and knocked on Brutus’ door.
“Come in”
“Brutus I’ve got someone who might cheer you up.” said Anjel and motioned for Laurie to go in. She closed the door behind Laurie.
“Laurie.”
“Brutus.”
“They moved a stop toward each other and embraced. Oh how good it felt to hold Laurie again!
--
Chapter 2 [a chapter within a chapter? Sure, why not?]
“Laurie … how did you … Where …” Brutus started.
“Just hold me, Brutus,” she said.
He did just that.
“I really missed you.” Laurie said.
“So did I.”
“When that lady came to my door …”
“Whoa. What lady?” Asked Brutus.
“She was a blonde … her name was Angelica … no … Angela? I don’t remember. I was so occupied with the though to seeing you again.” answered Laurie. [guess they didn’t talk much on the plane.]
“Anjel?” asked Brutus.
“Yes. Who is she … oh no! Not your wife?” asked Laurie.
“No. No. Just a very wonderful friend.” said Brutus
“That was a pretty long trip. Is there a bathroom nearby?” asked Laurie.
“straight down the hall” said Brutus.
“Thanks” said Laurie and left
Brutus sat down to think. “Anjel … what she did for me. She is so ….. I …. How can I thank her?”
Brutus had never had someone care about him so much. To think of what Anjel did is amazing. She has got a good heart. What a great friend. [hurl]
He walked 2 doors down to Marty’s dressing room since no one answered the knock at Anjel’s. Anjel answered Brutus knock.
“Shh Marty’s finally asleep.” [thus eliminating any further participation in the story] she whispered
“Anjel … you … I … Thank You.” said Brutus and hugged her.
“Anything for a friend.” whispered Anjel. She wiped a tear of joy welling up in her eye away.
Notes:
1) I obviously didn’t have a clue as to the actual function of a dressing room. Marty has the flu, but he’s in his dressing room? Brutus has a photo of an ex-girlfriend in his dressing room? I guess I just figured they were like apartments, and each wrestler had his/her own.
2) Anjel is seriously intrusive. Back off, lady.
3) I had a serious problem with dialogue tags. And adverbs. And ellipses. And vital discussions of where the bathroom is.
This story isn’t over. There’s a sequel coming up soon. There will be lots more egregious crying and ridiculous dialogue. And a pretty awesome break-up scene.
But first … Chapter 10: “Two Faces” – Wherein we meet Mr. Perfect, who also has a serious allergy. WTF was wrong with me?
Enjoy!
Chapter 9: Reunited
A lonely and depressed Brutus Beefcake sat in his dressing room staring at an old photograph. A knock came from his door.
“Come in” he said.
“25 minutes til the Barber Shop, Brutus” said Anjel.
“Thanks” he said in an empty and sad voice. [gee, he seems a bit down]
Angel closed the door.
“What’s wrong Brutus?” she asked softly.
“I found this old picture of my girlfriend Laurie Traynor” Brutus said handing the photo to Anjel. Laurie was pretty. She had short brown hair and big blue eyes.
“What happened to her?” asked Anjel.
“We had just finished high school. We were both aspiring hair stylists. We really loved each other and I was going to ask her to marry me. Vince McMahon came one day and asked me if I wanted to consider professional wrestling. Laurie knew how much this meant to me and told me to go for it. I asked her to come with me, but her life was in San Francisco she couldn’t leave, but she said to live out my dream. I still remember the day I left, we were both crying when I boarded the train …” he broke off and tears filled his eyes.
Anjel hugged him for a long time. Brutus really needed that. He wiped his eyes.
“Thanks, Anjel.” He said, “Can I have a few minutes to think?” he asked
“Sure,” said Anjel and closed the door softly behind her.
Poor Brutus! His story had almost made Anjel cry. She went ino to check on Marty who had the flue and a 102 degree temperature [sick again?!?]. She told him Brutus’s story and he agreed that something had to be done
Marty assured Anjel that he would be fine on his own so Anjel booked a flight to San Francisco. When she looked in the phone book and found-
Laurel Traynor
76 Viking Ave
Anjel hopped a cab and rang the doorbell of 76 Viking Ave. A young woman with shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes opened the door [see? Time passed. Her hair grew.]
“Are you Laurie Traynor?”
“Yes.”
“Did you know a man named Brutus Beefcake?”
“Oh, my God. Brutus. Please Come in.”
Anjel told Laurie the entire story from who she was to the talk she had with Brutus.
They booked a flight to Washington, where Wrestling Challenge was.
“Do you think he’ll recognize me?” asked Laurie.
“I’m positive” said Anjel and knocked on Brutus’ door.
“Come in”
“Brutus I’ve got someone who might cheer you up.” said Anjel and motioned for Laurie to go in. She closed the door behind Laurie.
“Laurie.”
“Brutus.”
“They moved a stop toward each other and embraced. Oh how good it felt to hold Laurie again!
--
Chapter 2 [a chapter within a chapter? Sure, why not?]
“Laurie … how did you … Where …” Brutus started.
“Just hold me, Brutus,” she said.
He did just that.
“I really missed you.” Laurie said.
“So did I.”
“When that lady came to my door …”
“Whoa. What lady?” Asked Brutus.
“She was a blonde … her name was Angelica … no … Angela? I don’t remember. I was so occupied with the though to seeing you again.” answered Laurie. [guess they didn’t talk much on the plane.]
“Anjel?” asked Brutus.
“Yes. Who is she … oh no! Not your wife?” asked Laurie.
“No. No. Just a very wonderful friend.” said Brutus
“That was a pretty long trip. Is there a bathroom nearby?” asked Laurie.
“straight down the hall” said Brutus.
“Thanks” said Laurie and left
Brutus sat down to think. “Anjel … what she did for me. She is so ….. I …. How can I thank her?”
Brutus had never had someone care about him so much. To think of what Anjel did is amazing. She has got a good heart. What a great friend. [hurl]
He walked 2 doors down to Marty’s dressing room since no one answered the knock at Anjel’s. Anjel answered Brutus knock.
“Shh Marty’s finally asleep.” [thus eliminating any further participation in the story] she whispered
“Anjel … you … I … Thank You.” said Brutus and hugged her.
“Anything for a friend.” whispered Anjel. She wiped a tear of joy welling up in her eye away.
Notes:
1) I obviously didn’t have a clue as to the actual function of a dressing room. Marty has the flu, but he’s in his dressing room? Brutus has a photo of an ex-girlfriend in his dressing room? I guess I just figured they were like apartments, and each wrestler had his/her own.
2) Anjel is seriously intrusive. Back off, lady.
3) I had a serious problem with dialogue tags. And adverbs. And ellipses. And vital discussions of where the bathroom is.
This story isn’t over. There’s a sequel coming up soon. There will be lots more egregious crying and ridiculous dialogue. And a pretty awesome break-up scene.
But first … Chapter 10: “Two Faces” – Wherein we meet Mr. Perfect, who also has a serious allergy. WTF was wrong with me?
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
the missing links
Here is what, to the best of my recollection, was in the pages missing from this epic story:
“Middle Names” – The passion with which I loved Marty Jannetty was only rivaled by the passion with which I hated Miss Elizabeth. For those of you not in the know, Miss Elizabeth was The Macho Man’s valet (and wife … I was totally at their “wedding” during Summerslam 91). I couldn’t stand this woman. Something about her just irked me. So I wrote her into the story as Anjel’s first arch nemesis. My memory is a bit fuzzy on some of the details, but the first line of the story was: “More than anything, Anjel hated her middle name.”
Anyhoo, there’s a match set up between Marty and the Macho Man. At some point, Macho looks like he’s in trouble, so Elizabeth rips off the bottom of her dress to distract the referee (that’s what she did in “real life” at Summerslam 88). Marty loses the match because of this. Then Mean Gene interviews both Anjel and Miss Elizabeth. I distinctly remember juxtaposing scenes of Anjel and Elizabeth selecting outfits in preparation for their interviews. Liz puts on a low-cut top and a short skirt, while Anjel puts on a long red t-shirt, cinched at the waist with a black belt and a pair of black spandex. Hawt. Liz fawns and simpers through the interview and Anjel is the epitome of cool. She also says ripping off your skirt to distract the referee was a cheap thing to do, which sends ripples of controversy throughout the WWF. I actually even wrote a mock letters to the editor section of WWF magazine with fans across the country writing in on who they thought was right: Anjel or Elizabeth. Elizabeth does have some supporters (I believe I intentionally made them sound stupid in their letters) but most fans side with Anjel. Elizabeth will not stand for this! Look out, Anjel … this is gonna come back to bite you on your spandex-covered ass!
I don’t remember anything else actually happening … the only thing I know for sure is that the last lines were: “Charlotte ELIZABETH Theodosia put the magazine down and sighed. Now you know why she hated her middle name?” I asked all the tough questions.
I think there are only two things you need to take away from this story: 1) Marty really isn’t in it. I was slowly discovering that he was pretty boring on the whole. 2) Anjel is a total prude. (coincidentally, so was I)
“The Cetaminifin story” - Shawn is sick and Sherri doesn’t know what to do. So she calls Anjel, who is, of course, a nurse, and therefore the only person she could possibly think of to call. Sherri says she’s going to give Shawn Cetaminifin. What is that? I don’t know. I suppose it sounded a lot like acetaminophen, which I was fairly certain was some sort of medicine. Anyhoo, Anjel quickly saves the day by letting her know that Shawn is allergic to Cetaminifin. He had confessed that horrible secret to Marty during their days of being BFF. Unlike Shawn, who uses Marty’s debilitating daisy allergy for evil in Chapter 1, Marty uses this knowledge for good.
Also, in this chapter, Marty is sick too … and thus once again has almost zero involvement in the story.
My absolute favorite part is the only one I remember with any degree of clarity. When Anjel gets the distress call from Sherri, she is sitting at a table working. I couldn’t just leave it at that. What is she working on? A math problem. I actually wrote “Anjel was working on a math problem.” One of her neighbors asked her to figure out how much money they should pay their son’s tutor, because they needed to pay twice as much as they did for his violin lessons, but more than half as much as they did for his soccer lessons. Sounds amazingly like something right out of a fifth-grade math textbook, no?
I know there was more … because the next chapter I have is Chapter 9, but I’m drawing a blank right now. If I ever recall anything, you’ll be the first to know!
Coming next: Chapter 9, "Reunited" ... it's a doozy.
“Middle Names” – The passion with which I loved Marty Jannetty was only rivaled by the passion with which I hated Miss Elizabeth. For those of you not in the know, Miss Elizabeth was The Macho Man’s valet (and wife … I was totally at their “wedding” during Summerslam 91). I couldn’t stand this woman. Something about her just irked me. So I wrote her into the story as Anjel’s first arch nemesis. My memory is a bit fuzzy on some of the details, but the first line of the story was: “More than anything, Anjel hated her middle name.”
Anyhoo, there’s a match set up between Marty and the Macho Man. At some point, Macho looks like he’s in trouble, so Elizabeth rips off the bottom of her dress to distract the referee (that’s what she did in “real life” at Summerslam 88). Marty loses the match because of this. Then Mean Gene interviews both Anjel and Miss Elizabeth. I distinctly remember juxtaposing scenes of Anjel and Elizabeth selecting outfits in preparation for their interviews. Liz puts on a low-cut top and a short skirt, while Anjel puts on a long red t-shirt, cinched at the waist with a black belt and a pair of black spandex. Hawt. Liz fawns and simpers through the interview and Anjel is the epitome of cool. She also says ripping off your skirt to distract the referee was a cheap thing to do, which sends ripples of controversy throughout the WWF. I actually even wrote a mock letters to the editor section of WWF magazine with fans across the country writing in on who they thought was right: Anjel or Elizabeth. Elizabeth does have some supporters (I believe I intentionally made them sound stupid in their letters) but most fans side with Anjel. Elizabeth will not stand for this! Look out, Anjel … this is gonna come back to bite you on your spandex-covered ass!
I don’t remember anything else actually happening … the only thing I know for sure is that the last lines were: “Charlotte ELIZABETH Theodosia put the magazine down and sighed. Now you know why she hated her middle name?” I asked all the tough questions.
I think there are only two things you need to take away from this story: 1) Marty really isn’t in it. I was slowly discovering that he was pretty boring on the whole. 2) Anjel is a total prude. (coincidentally, so was I)
“The Cetaminifin story” - Shawn is sick and Sherri doesn’t know what to do. So she calls Anjel, who is, of course, a nurse, and therefore the only person she could possibly think of to call. Sherri says she’s going to give Shawn Cetaminifin. What is that? I don’t know. I suppose it sounded a lot like acetaminophen, which I was fairly certain was some sort of medicine. Anyhoo, Anjel quickly saves the day by letting her know that Shawn is allergic to Cetaminifin. He had confessed that horrible secret to Marty during their days of being BFF. Unlike Shawn, who uses Marty’s debilitating daisy allergy for evil in Chapter 1, Marty uses this knowledge for good.
Also, in this chapter, Marty is sick too … and thus once again has almost zero involvement in the story.
My absolute favorite part is the only one I remember with any degree of clarity. When Anjel gets the distress call from Sherri, she is sitting at a table working. I couldn’t just leave it at that. What is she working on? A math problem. I actually wrote “Anjel was working on a math problem.” One of her neighbors asked her to figure out how much money they should pay their son’s tutor, because they needed to pay twice as much as they did for his violin lessons, but more than half as much as they did for his soccer lessons. Sounds amazingly like something right out of a fifth-grade math textbook, no?
I know there was more … because the next chapter I have is Chapter 9, but I’m drawing a blank right now. If I ever recall anything, you’ll be the first to know!
Coming next: Chapter 9, "Reunited" ... it's a doozy.
Monday, July 28, 2008
video
(Thanks to SansMerci for sending me this!)
Here's a video of the Rockers breakup on the Barbershop, as referenced in my compelling short story, "Chapter 1: Points of View." Thanks for the link!! I loved watching it again. I had that clip on tape and rewatched it so many times that I had it memorized. It all came back to me while watching it again. The article that Brutus is holding up was the one I read into the tape player.
Here's a video of the Rockers breakup on the Barbershop, as referenced in my compelling short story, "Chapter 1: Points of View." Thanks for the link!! I loved watching it again. I had that clip on tape and rewatched it so many times that I had it memorized. It all came back to me while watching it again. The article that Brutus is holding up was the one I read into the tape player.
Resumes (part II)
(just joining us? Hi! Please read the introduction first!)
So here’s part 2 of the “résumés.” I still can’t remember why I thought this was a good idea. But I evidently got tired of it by the end of this, because the answers get shorter and shorter.
(Full) Name (of manager): Sherri Martel (Sensational) [Originally, I just made up a last name. When I learned that her real last name was “Martel,” I scribbled out the old one and wrote the real one in. After some intense scrutiny, I discovered that the made-up name I supplied was “Zarlsky.” Don’t ask. I have no clue.]
(Full) Name (of wrestler): Shawn Micheals
Date of Birth (of manager): Feb 8
Date of Birth (of wrestler): Jul. 22
Height (of manager): 5’ 8”
Height (of wrestler): 6’
Weight of (wrestler): 225 lbs
Allergies (of manger): bee stings
Allergies (of wrestler): bee stings, Cetaminifin [I’ll explain soon]
fears (of manger): someone hurting Shawnie
fears (of wrestler): snakes
hometown (of manager): New Orleans, Louisiana
hometown (of wrestler): San Antonio, Texas
personality (of manager): loving (of my Shawnie), screams a lot, Likes to use heel. Siezes the moment, resourceful
personality (of wrestler): arrogant, concited, egotistic, loves himself, self centered, thinks the world revolves around him [I obviously had a good thesaurus]
best friend (of manager): Anjel [??]
best friend (of wrestler): .
physical features (of manager): curly black hair, brown eyes, make-up, tattoo on upper right chest (heart) [as opposed to the left chest?!?], slightly tanned skin
physical features (of wrestler) blond hair, bluish-grey eyes, tan skin, very sexy, white jacket
where did manager and wrestler meet? Through the WWF
manager’s sex F
Sum up of relationship between wrestler and manager: I LOVE him more than anything. I hope he loves me. I would do ANYTHING for him <3<3<3<3<3.>
coming soon ... A synopsis of the missing pages ... AND ... the story that inspired me to create this blog: "Reunited."
So here’s part 2 of the “résumés.” I still can’t remember why I thought this was a good idea. But I evidently got tired of it by the end of this, because the answers get shorter and shorter.
(Full) Name (of manager): Sherri Martel (Sensational) [Originally, I just made up a last name. When I learned that her real last name was “Martel,” I scribbled out the old one and wrote the real one in. After some intense scrutiny, I discovered that the made-up name I supplied was “Zarlsky.” Don’t ask. I have no clue.]
(Full) Name (of wrestler): Shawn Micheals
Date of Birth (of manager): Feb 8
Date of Birth (of wrestler): Jul. 22
Height (of manager): 5’ 8”
Height (of wrestler): 6’
Weight of (wrestler): 225 lbs
Allergies (of manger): bee stings
Allergies (of wrestler): bee stings, Cetaminifin [I’ll explain soon]
fears (of manger): someone hurting Shawnie
fears (of wrestler): snakes
hometown (of manager): New Orleans, Louisiana
hometown (of wrestler): San Antonio, Texas
personality (of manager): loving (of my Shawnie), screams a lot, Likes to use heel. Siezes the moment, resourceful
personality (of wrestler): arrogant, concited, egotistic, loves himself, self centered, thinks the world revolves around him [I obviously had a good thesaurus]
best friend (of manager): Anjel [??]
best friend (of wrestler): .
physical features (of manager): curly black hair, brown eyes, make-up, tattoo on upper right chest (heart) [as opposed to the left chest?!?], slightly tanned skin
physical features (of wrestler) blond hair, bluish-grey eyes, tan skin, very sexy, white jacket
where did manager and wrestler meet? Through the WWF
manager’s sex F
Sum up of relationship between wrestler and manager: I LOVE him more than anything. I hope he loves me. I would do ANYTHING for him <3<3<3<3<3.>
coming soon ... A synopsis of the missing pages ... AND ... the story that inspired me to create this blog: "Reunited."
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Chapter 2 - Resumes (part 1)
NOTE: If you have not yet done so, please read the introduction. Otherwise, you'll take this seriously. And that would be sad.
For whatever reason, I thought it would be a good idea to write résumés for the wrestlers and their managers. These “résumés” look more like those surveys you get in your inbox every three hours when you’re 15 or know a 15 year old.
I’m pretty sure any employer who asked for a résumé that looked like these would be investigated.
Enjoy!
(Full) Name (of manager): Charlotte “Anjel” Theodosia
(Full) Name (of wrestler): Martin Jannetty
Date of Birth (of manager): 7/22/69 [that’s Shawn Michaels’ birthdate. I think that’s an early attempt at irony on my part.]
Date of Birth (of wrestler): 2/3/67 [ok, I had to guess at his age, but that’s totally his real birthdate. Wikipedia it if you don’t believe me. But you should. I had pretty much every WWF trading card memorized.]
Height (of manager): 5’7 ½“ [interestingly enough, that’s exactly how tall I am today! How prescient of 11-year old me!]
Height (of wrestler): 5’ 11”
Allergies (of manager): none
Allergies (of wrestler): daisies – hay fever [I can’t believe he revealed this secret!]
fears (of manager): heights
fears (of wrestler): hospitals
hometown (of manager): Roseberry, Idaho
hometown (of wrestler): Columbus, Georgia
personality (of manager): caring, sweet, yet not whiny, sense of humor, happy stands up for what she believes in, smart, patient
personality (of wrestler): nice, kind, loyal [I added this word later in blue pen], loves fun, patient, you don’t want to be his enemy, soft-spoken, funny, shy, friendly, trusting
best friends (of manager): Marty Jannetty
best friends (of wrestler): Charlotte Theodosia [ugg. You two need to get out more]
physical features (of manager): blond hair bluish green eyes; wears red or yellow, smiles a lot, fair skin, slight build; nice figure [like one of the Wakefield twins, but a walking advertisement for McDonald’s?]
physical features (of wrestler): reddish brown hair; blue-gray eyes; bright colored clothes; slightly tanned; good build; no facial hair
Where did manager and wrestler meet? Barber Shop – Jan 12, 1992. Marty received medical attention from Anjel.
Manager’s sex – F [there’s actually a check box, but I don’t know how to make one here]
Sum up of relationship between wrestler + manager: Care for one another IMMENSELY. Nothing can break them up. Devoted to thier job and each other.
Goals: Intercontinental title belt
Worst enemy: Shan Micheals (see Misc.) Rick Martel
Misc.- Shawn Micheals used to be best friend
other friends: (wrestler) Brutus Beefcake
other friends= (manager) Brutus Beefcake Mr. Perfect [added in pen later. You’ll meet him soon]
Notes:
1) Roseberry, Idaho? It’s totally a real place. I had a set of encyclopedias in my room and would spend hours looking at maps for some reason. I really liked potatoes when I was little, so I thought Idaho was some sort of paradise. Consequently, I looked at the Idaho map a lot. Roseberry just sounded like a nice name for a town.
2) The Barber Shop isn’t, like, a Hair Cuttery. It was an interview segment hosted by Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake. (don’t worry; you’ll meet him soon). The break-up of The Rockers formally occurred when Shawn Michaels kicked Marty Jannetty and threw him through the plate glass window of the Barber Shop. It was pretty awesome. Anyhoo, I’m pretty sure some of the missing pages explains this incident via flashback. If memory serves me correctly, Anjel is some sort of EMT or something and she gives Marty first aid after the incident. Then (I don’t remember how), she becomes his manager.
For whatever reason, I thought it would be a good idea to write résumés for the wrestlers and their managers. These “résumés” look more like those surveys you get in your inbox every three hours when you’re 15 or know a 15 year old.
I’m pretty sure any employer who asked for a résumé that looked like these would be investigated.
Enjoy!
(Full) Name (of manager): Charlotte “Anjel” Theodosia
(Full) Name (of wrestler): Martin Jannetty
Date of Birth (of manager): 7/22/69 [that’s Shawn Michaels’ birthdate. I think that’s an early attempt at irony on my part.]
Date of Birth (of wrestler): 2/3/67 [ok, I had to guess at his age, but that’s totally his real birthdate. Wikipedia it if you don’t believe me. But you should. I had pretty much every WWF trading card memorized.]
Height (of manager): 5’7 ½“ [interestingly enough, that’s exactly how tall I am today! How prescient of 11-year old me!]
Height (of wrestler): 5’ 11”
Allergies (of manager): none
Allergies (of wrestler): daisies – hay fever [I can’t believe he revealed this secret!]
fears (of manager): heights
fears (of wrestler): hospitals
hometown (of manager): Roseberry, Idaho
hometown (of wrestler): Columbus, Georgia
personality (of manager): caring, sweet, yet not whiny, sense of humor, happy stands up for what she believes in, smart, patient
personality (of wrestler): nice, kind, loyal [I added this word later in blue pen], loves fun, patient, you don’t want to be his enemy, soft-spoken, funny, shy, friendly, trusting
best friends (of manager): Marty Jannetty
best friends (of wrestler): Charlotte Theodosia [ugg. You two need to get out more]
physical features (of manager): blond hair bluish green eyes; wears red or yellow, smiles a lot, fair skin, slight build; nice figure [like one of the Wakefield twins, but a walking advertisement for McDonald’s?]
physical features (of wrestler): reddish brown hair; blue-gray eyes; bright colored clothes; slightly tanned; good build; no facial hair
Where did manager and wrestler meet? Barber Shop – Jan 12, 1992. Marty received medical attention from Anjel.
Manager’s sex – F [there’s actually a check box, but I don’t know how to make one here]
Sum up of relationship between wrestler + manager: Care for one another IMMENSELY. Nothing can break them up. Devoted to thier job and each other.
Goals: Intercontinental title belt
Worst enemy: Shan Micheals (see Misc.) Rick Martel
Misc.- Shawn Micheals used to be best friend
other friends: (wrestler) Brutus Beefcake
other friends= (manager) Brutus Beefcake Mr. Perfect [added in pen later. You’ll meet him soon]
Notes:
1) Roseberry, Idaho? It’s totally a real place. I had a set of encyclopedias in my room and would spend hours looking at maps for some reason. I really liked potatoes when I was little, so I thought Idaho was some sort of paradise. Consequently, I looked at the Idaho map a lot. Roseberry just sounded like a nice name for a town.
2) The Barber Shop isn’t, like, a Hair Cuttery. It was an interview segment hosted by Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake. (don’t worry; you’ll meet him soon). The break-up of The Rockers formally occurred when Shawn Michaels kicked Marty Jannetty and threw him through the plate glass window of the Barber Shop. It was pretty awesome. Anyhoo, I’m pretty sure some of the missing pages explains this incident via flashback. If memory serves me correctly, Anjel is some sort of EMT or something and she gives Marty first aid after the incident. Then (I don’t remember how), she becomes his manager.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Chapter 1: Points of View
NOTE: If you have not yet done so, please read the introduction. Otherwise, you'll take this seriously. And that would be sad.
[Well I thought I was missing the first few pages, but it turns out, I'm actually missing pages 7-39. Alas. I'll bet they were horrible. Well, let's just work with what we got ... I'm pretty dang sure you still enjoy this mess without needing any of their "vital" plot points.]
[I would also like to alert y'all to the fact that my desire to censor this is raging like a fire in my gut right now ... this is so bad it hurts. Enjoy!]
Chapter 1: Points of View
*~*Anjel*~* [yes, I drew swirlies around her name]
Marty and Anjel stepped into the ring and awaited the arrival of that traitor, Shawn Michaels. Anjel looked at Marty. She knew that he was recovering from both the mental and phyiscal shock from Jan. 12. [that's when The Rockers broke up. Tragic.] She touched his shoulder. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly for support. Shawn's music boomed from speakers. Anjel looked first at Marty and then the curtain and back with concerned eyes. Finally, the curtain parted and Sherri came foward wearing a low-cut red dress and make-up covering her face. Then Shawn appeared with an arrogant look on his face and a bouquet of ..... daisies? What were the daisies for? Anjel looked at Marty. His face was completely white.
She rushed over to him. Then she remembered. Marty had told her that daises made him sneeze like crazy. He had only told 2 people this in his life. Herself and .... Shawn Michaels.[understandable why you'd want to keep that horrible fact a secret, no?] Anjel did the only thing she could she told Marty not to worry and ducked under the ring. It was dark under there, but she made it to a thin shaft of light. She snuk out of the underside of the ring. She ran past a stunned Sherri and grabbed the flowers from Shawn. Anjel dumped them inot the nearest trash can. She ran back to Marty's side. Color returned to his face. He gave Anjel a warm kiss on the cheek. "You saved my life." he told her. "Anytime." she replied and she meant it.
MARTY
Marty and Anjel stepped into the ring. His head swam with the evenge of Jan. 12. He noticed a warm hand on his shoulder. He squoze it tightly. Sherri stepped through the curtain. Marty was very glad he had Angel. She was the greatest friend a guy could have. He could always count on her. He cleared his head while his ex-friend stepped through curtain. What was Shawn carrying? Oh, god no. Daisies. Marty was terribly allergic to daisies. How could Shawn Micheals do this to him? When he had first told Shawn that little bit of personal info, Marty had never thought that he would do this. Anjel ran over to him and told him anot to worry. She dissapeared from sight. And then reappeared on the other side fo the ring and grabbed the flowers, rushing past the curtain with them. She returned to Marty's side. Anjel was the most terrific person in the universe, he thought. He kissed her. "You saved my life." he told her. "Anytime." she replied. Marty knew she meant it.
SHAWN [here I will alert you to the fact that a few months after I wrote this, I decided that I liked Shawn better than Marty, which apparantly prompted me to write "I love Shawn 4-ever" in the margins of this story.]
"There's no way this loser can beat me." he told Sherri. "When we got the secret weapon." he told her. Sherri just nodded. "That goofball never should have told me his weakness. He'll be sneezing so hard, he won't know where I am!" he said confidently. "Come on, Sherri." She led him through the curtain. He grabbed the flowers and followed her. Ha! Marty's face turned pale! What the heck? Anjel appeared from the bottom of teh ring and flashed past Sherri. Before Shawn knew what was happening, Anjel grabbed his flowers and dissappeared. Then she returnd to Marty's side. Marty kissed her! Why can't she be like Sherri and worship me?
SHERRI <3<3>[the hearts were not because I liked her, but because I wanted to convey the depth to which she was enamored with Shawn Michaels. Just in case the following text didn't support that idea.]
MMM. Sigh. Uh huh. Yeah. Okay. Sherri just nodded her head when he spoke. She was head over heals in love. She stared at him with sparkly eyes. She led the way to ring area. He had such a brilliant plan. He was so perfect, so wonderful. She was in another world. The next thing she knew, someone rushed past her and grabbed the flowers. But she didn't care much. She was standing next to the world's biggest hunk. Ah! How could someone have the nerve to upset my Shawnie? She'll pay for this! Oh, why won't Shawn kiss me like Marty kisses that .... that .... goody 2 shoes?
~~~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~~~ [I drew more swirlies to signal the end of this chapter]
NOTES:
1) Yes, I knew the exact date that the Rockers broke up. I even did a fake news report about it by reading a WWF magazine article into my tape recorder. No, I don't still have that. Probably.
2) A secret allergy to daisies does indeed sound career-threatening. What would Marty have done if Anjel hadn't been there to foil Shawn's evil plot? Boy, she really did save his life!
3) I would just like to pat 12-year-old me on the back for being a good speller. I wasn't too good at using the correct pronouns to maintain consistent point-of-view, but boy howdy, I spelled like a champ. I'll glean whatever praise can be gleaned from this dreck.
4) I think the funniest part about looking back at this writing is seeing how I thought adults spoke, thought, and interacted with each other. This entry isn't the best example, but it's got hints of it. The best is yet to come on that front.
[Well I thought I was missing the first few pages, but it turns out, I'm actually missing pages 7-39. Alas. I'll bet they were horrible. Well, let's just work with what we got ... I'm pretty dang sure you still enjoy this mess without needing any of their "vital" plot points.]
[I would also like to alert y'all to the fact that my desire to censor this is raging like a fire in my gut right now ... this is so bad it hurts. Enjoy!]
Chapter 1: Points of View
*~*Anjel*~* [yes, I drew swirlies around her name]
Marty and Anjel stepped into the ring and awaited the arrival of that traitor, Shawn Michaels. Anjel looked at Marty. She knew that he was recovering from both the mental and phyiscal shock from Jan. 12. [that's when The Rockers broke up. Tragic.] She touched his shoulder. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly for support. Shawn's music boomed from speakers. Anjel looked first at Marty and then the curtain and back with concerned eyes. Finally, the curtain parted and Sherri came foward wearing a low-cut red dress and make-up covering her face. Then Shawn appeared with an arrogant look on his face and a bouquet of ..... daisies? What were the daisies for? Anjel looked at Marty. His face was completely white.
She rushed over to him. Then she remembered. Marty had told her that daises made him sneeze like crazy. He had only told 2 people this in his life. Herself and .... Shawn Michaels.[understandable why you'd want to keep that horrible fact a secret, no?] Anjel did the only thing she could she told Marty not to worry and ducked under the ring. It was dark under there, but she made it to a thin shaft of light. She snuk out of the underside of the ring. She ran past a stunned Sherri and grabbed the flowers from Shawn. Anjel dumped them inot the nearest trash can. She ran back to Marty's side. Color returned to his face. He gave Anjel a warm kiss on the cheek. "You saved my life." he told her. "Anytime." she replied and she meant it.
MARTY
Marty and Anjel stepped into the ring. His head swam with the evenge of Jan. 12. He noticed a warm hand on his shoulder. He squoze it tightly. Sherri stepped through the curtain. Marty was very glad he had Angel. She was the greatest friend a guy could have. He could always count on her. He cleared his head while his ex-friend stepped through curtain. What was Shawn carrying? Oh, god no. Daisies. Marty was terribly allergic to daisies. How could Shawn Micheals do this to him? When he had first told Shawn that little bit of personal info, Marty had never thought that he would do this. Anjel ran over to him and told him anot to worry. She dissapeared from sight. And then reappeared on the other side fo the ring and grabbed the flowers, rushing past the curtain with them. She returned to Marty's side. Anjel was the most terrific person in the universe, he thought. He kissed her. "You saved my life." he told her. "Anytime." she replied. Marty knew she meant it.
SHAWN [here I will alert you to the fact that a few months after I wrote this, I decided that I liked Shawn better than Marty, which apparantly prompted me to write "I love Shawn 4-ever" in the margins of this story.]
"There's no way this loser can beat me." he told Sherri. "When we got the secret weapon." he told her. Sherri just nodded. "That goofball never should have told me his weakness. He'll be sneezing so hard, he won't know where I am!" he said confidently. "Come on, Sherri." She led him through the curtain. He grabbed the flowers and followed her. Ha! Marty's face turned pale! What the heck? Anjel appeared from the bottom of teh ring and flashed past Sherri. Before Shawn knew what was happening, Anjel grabbed his flowers and dissappeared. Then she returnd to Marty's side. Marty kissed her! Why can't she be like Sherri and worship me?
SHERRI <3<3>[the hearts were not because I liked her, but because I wanted to convey the depth to which she was enamored with Shawn Michaels. Just in case the following text didn't support that idea.]
MMM. Sigh. Uh huh. Yeah. Okay. Sherri just nodded her head when he spoke. She was head over heals in love. She stared at him with sparkly eyes. She led the way to ring area. He had such a brilliant plan. He was so perfect, so wonderful. She was in another world. The next thing she knew, someone rushed past her and grabbed the flowers. But she didn't care much. She was standing next to the world's biggest hunk. Ah! How could someone have the nerve to upset my Shawnie? She'll pay for this! Oh, why won't Shawn kiss me like Marty kisses that .... that .... goody 2 shoes?
~~~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~~~ [I drew more swirlies to signal the end of this chapter]
NOTES:
1) Yes, I knew the exact date that the Rockers broke up. I even did a fake news report about it by reading a WWF magazine article into my tape recorder. No, I don't still have that. Probably.
2) A secret allergy to daisies does indeed sound career-threatening. What would Marty have done if Anjel hadn't been there to foil Shawn's evil plot? Boy, she really did save his life!
3) I would just like to pat 12-year-old me on the back for being a good speller. I wasn't too good at using the correct pronouns to maintain consistent point-of-view, but boy howdy, I spelled like a champ. I'll glean whatever praise can be gleaned from this dreck.
4) I think the funniest part about looking back at this writing is seeing how I thought adults spoke, thought, and interacted with each other. This entry isn't the best example, but it's got hints of it. The best is yet to come on that front.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Introduction
Hi there.
So when I was younger, pretty much my favorite thing in the world was professional wrestling. It was my life. Actually, I'm not quite sure I'm adequately conveying my feelings here ... professional wrestling was my life. I watched every second of every match on TV. I went to live shows and cheered my little lungs out. I made signs for these events. I made big, glitter-covered signs. I even made one in French for the wrestlers from Quebec, because I was certain they would appreciate my effort. I subscribed to magazines. I wrote in to magazines, sometimes under pseudonyms so that I could get more than one letter printed per issue (which did happen). And this was, like, 1992, when wrestling wasn't even particularly good. This was way before John Cena, Stone Cold, The Rock ... this was the era of Berzerker vs. Bret Hart being an acceptable main event on TV. Ask me if I cared. No. No I didn't. I was obsessed. The only problem was that the storylines on TV were never as detailed as I wanted them to be. And they always ended before things were explained or explored to my liking. So I made up extra bits to the stories in my head.
Where am I going with all of this? Well ... my other favorite thing when I was younger was creative writing. Less embarassing than my other main interest, no? Oh, just you wait. Anyhoo, when I was in sixth grade, one of my teachers said: "Writers write about what they know" ... when he said this, a little championship belt-shaped lightbulb went on above my head. I could write these stories down.
Oh man, did I ever.
Here is what I have only come to realize in the past few years: I was writing fan-fiction. If the internet had been around back in the day, I surely would have found out that I was not alone; as it happened, however, I thought that I was the only one who had a compulsion to continue, flesh out, and create stories based on professional wrestling. I now know that I had (and have) thousands of compadres all across the globe. I have since come to understand that what I wrote featured one of the Mary-Sueiest Mary Sues ever to sparkle across a page (her name was Angel, for the love of Pete) and some of the least realistic dialogue ever written.
Aaaaaaaaaanyhoo ... why am I telling all of you this? Because recently I moved into a new house and in the process of unpacking, I decided to peruse my archives. Wow. Wow. WOW. There really aren't words to describe my writing. Wait. There are two: unabashedly bad (hence the name of this blog). As I read through it again, I laughed until my eyes watered. "Too bad," I said to myself, "I can't show this to anyone, because even though this is hilarious and should be shared with the world, I am way too embarassed to actually let people know I wrote it."
Hello, internet!!!
So here you go, world. Here are some preliminary notes before I start posting the "chapters"
1) I'm transcribing everything in its original form. All the spelling mistakes, abuse of exclamation points, and ridiculously overwrought chapter titles are authentic. Any editorial comments will be added in brackets [like this].
2) The first couple of pages are missing because I traded them to my best friend in exchange for pages from her seventh-grade journal. (It's not my place to post any of that, but boy, you wish I could.) So I'll fill you in on the extensive "backstory" I created: The main character is named Anjelica Charlotte Theodosia, but she goes by "Anjel". (and we're just getting started here, folks). She's a nurse (or something ... I didn't really have a good idea of what that actually meant) by training, and found her way into the WWF right after the Rockers split up, because I was seriously crushing on Marty Jennety at that point in my life. She is 22, with blonde hair and blue eyes (of course) and she's pretty much the nicest, friendliest, most wonderful person EVER. I think that's all you really need to know.
3) I started writing this when I was 11 or 12. I'm not quite sure when I really stopped. To be brutally honest, I still add a couple pages here and there on occasion. It was really amusing for me to see how everything evolved as I got older ... the writing got better, the characters got more interesting, the plots got thicker, the dialogue got more realistic, and it got a heck of a lot raunchier.
4) I'm not posting this because I think it's good or because I want any kind of constructive criticism. I'm posting this because it's unabashedly bad and I hope it will entertain anyone who stumbles across it.
5) I wrote all of this in pencil in marble notebooks. I may occasionally also post amusing things I scrawled in the margins and on the front/back covers. Sorry I can't reproduce doodles.
Okay ... I think that's it for now ... I'm totally psyched about this. Hope there's someone out there who is also psyched!!!
Whee!
So when I was younger, pretty much my favorite thing in the world was professional wrestling. It was my life. Actually, I'm not quite sure I'm adequately conveying my feelings here ... professional wrestling was my life. I watched every second of every match on TV. I went to live shows and cheered my little lungs out. I made signs for these events. I made big, glitter-covered signs. I even made one in French for the wrestlers from Quebec, because I was certain they would appreciate my effort. I subscribed to magazines. I wrote in to magazines, sometimes under pseudonyms so that I could get more than one letter printed per issue (which did happen). And this was, like, 1992, when wrestling wasn't even particularly good. This was way before John Cena, Stone Cold, The Rock ... this was the era of Berzerker vs. Bret Hart being an acceptable main event on TV. Ask me if I cared. No. No I didn't. I was obsessed. The only problem was that the storylines on TV were never as detailed as I wanted them to be. And they always ended before things were explained or explored to my liking. So I made up extra bits to the stories in my head.
Where am I going with all of this? Well ... my other favorite thing when I was younger was creative writing. Less embarassing than my other main interest, no? Oh, just you wait. Anyhoo, when I was in sixth grade, one of my teachers said: "Writers write about what they know" ... when he said this, a little championship belt-shaped lightbulb went on above my head. I could write these stories down.
Oh man, did I ever.
Here is what I have only come to realize in the past few years: I was writing fan-fiction. If the internet had been around back in the day, I surely would have found out that I was not alone; as it happened, however, I thought that I was the only one who had a compulsion to continue, flesh out, and create stories based on professional wrestling. I now know that I had (and have) thousands of compadres all across the globe. I have since come to understand that what I wrote featured one of the Mary-Sueiest Mary Sues ever to sparkle across a page (her name was Angel, for the love of Pete) and some of the least realistic dialogue ever written.
Aaaaaaaaaanyhoo ... why am I telling all of you this? Because recently I moved into a new house and in the process of unpacking, I decided to peruse my archives. Wow. Wow. WOW. There really aren't words to describe my writing. Wait. There are two: unabashedly bad (hence the name of this blog). As I read through it again, I laughed until my eyes watered. "Too bad," I said to myself, "I can't show this to anyone, because even though this is hilarious and should be shared with the world, I am way too embarassed to actually let people know I wrote it."
Hello, internet!!!
So here you go, world. Here are some preliminary notes before I start posting the "chapters"
1) I'm transcribing everything in its original form. All the spelling mistakes, abuse of exclamation points, and ridiculously overwrought chapter titles are authentic. Any editorial comments will be added in brackets [like this].
2) The first couple of pages are missing because I traded them to my best friend in exchange for pages from her seventh-grade journal. (It's not my place to post any of that, but boy, you wish I could.) So I'll fill you in on the extensive "backstory" I created: The main character is named Anjelica Charlotte Theodosia, but she goes by "Anjel". (and we're just getting started here, folks). She's a nurse (or something ... I didn't really have a good idea of what that actually meant) by training, and found her way into the WWF right after the Rockers split up, because I was seriously crushing on Marty Jennety at that point in my life. She is 22, with blonde hair and blue eyes (of course) and she's pretty much the nicest, friendliest, most wonderful person EVER. I think that's all you really need to know.
3) I started writing this when I was 11 or 12. I'm not quite sure when I really stopped. To be brutally honest, I still add a couple pages here and there on occasion. It was really amusing for me to see how everything evolved as I got older ... the writing got better, the characters got more interesting, the plots got thicker, the dialogue got more realistic, and it got a heck of a lot raunchier.
4) I'm not posting this because I think it's good or because I want any kind of constructive criticism. I'm posting this because it's unabashedly bad and I hope it will entertain anyone who stumbles across it.
5) I wrote all of this in pencil in marble notebooks. I may occasionally also post amusing things I scrawled in the margins and on the front/back covers. Sorry I can't reproduce doodles.
Okay ... I think that's it for now ... I'm totally psyched about this. Hope there's someone out there who is also psyched!!!
Whee!
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