When we last left our merry band of losers, Dullexandra tied the knot and no one objected. This week: characters interact. That's about it. Sorry. On the plus side, we do get to see some more of Rick's trademark Goofball Antics. Wait, that's not a plus side. Well ... here's a plus side: no Clippy. Take what you can get, folks.
Chapter 44 – The Wedding Party
Sting hopped into Angel’s car. She pulled out of the parking lot.
“Thanks for the ride.”
“No problem.”
“Nice wedding, huh?”
“Yeah. It was beautiful.”
“Hey, Angel, did Dustin tell you what happened at the bachelor party?”
“With Barry? Yeah.”
“Where’d he end up? Did he just drive around all night?”
“No … he slept over at my house.”
Sting stared at her.
“Nothing happened, if you’re wondering. He slept on my couch. He needed a friend, and that’s what I was,” she said, annoyed.
Angel found a space in the rented hotel’s lot [they rented out the entire hotel? Dang!] and both she and Sting entered the party. The place was humming with activity, but Angel didn’t want to be a part of it. Odd feelings swept over her. It felt wrong for her to be here. She missed Chris and Bobby, but most of all, she missed her big brother Danny. She hadn’t spoken to him in over two years. [That’s what she feels bad about? That? With all of the other crap going on? Danny?]
Angel greeted everyone cordially, then found a table in the corner by herself. Why hadn’t she kept in touch with Danny? Well, she knew her big brother was never one to remember to call anyone. He was always busy with one project or another. Angel being a full time nurse and Danny being a struggling actor didn’t leave much time for communication. But still, two years? What was he doing now? Was he married? Did he have kids? That settled it. Angel would call him as soon as she could. [sure she will. Either that or we’ll never hear about him again.]
“Ang? You OK?”
Angel looked up. Scott was standing there.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You look beautiful.”
“Thank you. Have a seat.”
“Thanks.” Scott said, sitting next to Angel. [important detail there]
“How have you been, Scotty?”
“I’ve been alright. I, uh, met a woman,” he grinned.
“Yeah, what’s her name?”
“Justina.” [dunt dunt DUNNNNNNNNNNN!]
“What’s she like?”
“She’s about 27 or so, with curly copper hair, and these incredible blue eyes. They’re so beautiful.” [who gives out that kind of information upon being asked that question? Is the age significant unless it’s like, 17 or 87? Now that would make for an interesting story.]
“Sounds terrific! Where’d you meet her?”
“At this dance thing my brother dragged me to.” [a dance? A DANCE? Oh, I give up.] He looked away, into the crowd of people. “Wonder where he is.”
Angelica stood to help him search. She felt 2 hands cover her eyes.
“Guess who?”
“OJ Simpson?”
“Nope.”
“Homer Simpson?”
“D’oh! Nope – one more try.”
“Uhmm … Rick?”
“Give the woman a beer! Or at least a Zima or something.” [Yes. I wrote that. Wowlions.]
“Hey Rick.” She hugged him.
“Hey Angie.”
“Nice bowtie,” she said, taking in Rick’s neon pink neckwear.
“Thank you. Nice toenail polish.”
Angel looked down at her feet.
“Gotcha!” Rick cried in glee. [Oh, what a hilarious throwback to Sting’s party. Rick, you are a card.]
“Hi guys,” Greeted Sting, joining the group. “And gal.”
“Hey Sting.”
Much to Angel’s dismay, she had become thrust straight into the middle of the party.
“What’re we doing all alone here in the corner? Let’s mingle!” With a happy shriek, Sting moved into other swells of people. The party lasted until the wee hours of the morning, and Angel had a better time than she had expected [well thank goodness].
After the festivities were over, Angel packed her bags for Tupelo and Chris’ plane landed in St. Paul, Minnesota.
NOTES:
1) Wow, y'all, remember Zima? Those commercials were always on in the early 90's. "Zomething different!" Oh, the 90's. I wore so much flannel.
2) So Danny is a struggling actor in LA? And so busy with "projects" that he can't remember to call his only sister, who also apparantly can't remember to call him, despite the fact that both of their parents died in a horrific car accident years ago? Okaaaaaaaaaaay.
3) I think I can promise that this the only chapter that mentions OJ Simpson.
Coming up next … Chris + Arn + tape recorder = crying. You won’t want to miss this one. Join us next week for …
Chapter 45 – No Secrets, Part I
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Chapter 43: The Big Day
Salutations, friends. In last week’s thrilling chapter, Alex misplaced her French Maid costume and Barry made out with her until Dustin woke up from his nightmare in a convulsive fit of sobs. Then tissues spontaneously generated in Angel’s living room and he went back to sleep. Today: wedding! Bring it.
Chapter 43 – The Big Day
Angel sat next to Sting in the second pew at St. Joseph’s Church.
“Angel! You look fantastic!” he whispered, taking in Angel’s light blue dress. [did she buy it as part of a matching set with her couch?]
“Thanks! I hardly recognized you in that tux! Pretty spiffy!” she whispered back. [I do hope he’s wearing his facepaint as part of the ensemble.]
Rick and Scott Steiner found Angel and Sting and sat in the row behind them.
“Hey, Angie! Hey Stinger!”
The church was quieted and the organ sounded. Alexandra York, arm in arm with her father, entered. Her dress was exquisite. Pure white with a laced neck and sleeves. A long veil and train trailed behind her. She carried a bouquet of lilacs and baby’s breath that matched her bridesmaids’ gowns perfectly [why, why, why is this the only description of their dresses?]. Her dark-tan skin was glowing, and she was smiling from ear to ear as she approached Dustin. She stepped up to the alter [sic. But when you think about it, it works as a verb too] and turned to face her husband-to-be.
The minister cleared his throat and began.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of this man and woman in holy matrimony. Do you, Alexandra Denise York, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and health, for rich or for poor, to death do you part?”
“I do.”
“And do you, Dustin Matthew Rhodes, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for rich and for poor, to death do you part?”
“I do.”
“Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Dustin didn’t need to be told twice. He kissed her as he had never kissed her before. The church burst into applause. Rick Steiner whistled loudly. Scott elbowed him. Angel giggled.
“You think this is bad—at our sister Crystal’s wedding, he kept asking where to buy peanuts,” Scott said.
Everyone stood as the happy couple made their exit.
NOTES:
1) Alex’s dress: Pure white with a laced neck and sleeves. H A W T. I have an excellent picture of this in my head, but so far I haven’t found anything via google images to match it. Do let me know if any of y’all have any luck.
2) That was the shortest wedding ceremony ever. Not a bad thing. But man, why not the “speak now or forever hold your peace”? Considering the fact that at the time of writing this, the only weddings I’d ever seen were on soap operas, you would think that the Dullexandra nuptials would have been a crazy drama-infested throwdown. Alas. On a related note, has anyone ever been to an actual wedding where they say that “speak now” bit? Slice and I thought it would have been funny if the judge at our wedding said it and then stared at the crowd for a full three minutes.
3) I do not understand why I was completely incapable of writing comedy. But as evidenced by any of Rick’s “goofball antics,” I most assuredly was.
COMING UP NEXT
I didn’t know the word for “reception,” so I called it “The Wedding Party.” This chapter includes: a reference to Mysterious Brother Danny, some trademark Rick goofball antics, and a couple dozen more reasons to loathe Angel. See you next time in …
Chapter 44 – The Wedding Party
Chapter 43 – The Big Day
Angel sat next to Sting in the second pew at St. Joseph’s Church.
“Angel! You look fantastic!” he whispered, taking in Angel’s light blue dress. [did she buy it as part of a matching set with her couch?]
“Thanks! I hardly recognized you in that tux! Pretty spiffy!” she whispered back. [I do hope he’s wearing his facepaint as part of the ensemble.]
Rick and Scott Steiner found Angel and Sting and sat in the row behind them.
“Hey, Angie! Hey Stinger!”
The church was quieted and the organ sounded. Alexandra York, arm in arm with her father, entered. Her dress was exquisite. Pure white with a laced neck and sleeves. A long veil and train trailed behind her. She carried a bouquet of lilacs and baby’s breath that matched her bridesmaids’ gowns perfectly [why, why, why is this the only description of their dresses?]. Her dark-tan skin was glowing, and she was smiling from ear to ear as she approached Dustin. She stepped up to the alter [sic. But when you think about it, it works as a verb too] and turned to face her husband-to-be.
The minister cleared his throat and began.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of this man and woman in holy matrimony. Do you, Alexandra Denise York, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and health, for rich or for poor, to death do you part?”
“I do.”
“And do you, Dustin Matthew Rhodes, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for rich and for poor, to death do you part?”
“I do.”
“Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Dustin didn’t need to be told twice. He kissed her as he had never kissed her before. The church burst into applause. Rick Steiner whistled loudly. Scott elbowed him. Angel giggled.
“You think this is bad—at our sister Crystal’s wedding, he kept asking where to buy peanuts,” Scott said.
Everyone stood as the happy couple made their exit.
NOTES:
1) Alex’s dress: Pure white with a laced neck and sleeves. H A W T. I have an excellent picture of this in my head, but so far I haven’t found anything via google images to match it. Do let me know if any of y’all have any luck.
2) That was the shortest wedding ceremony ever. Not a bad thing. But man, why not the “speak now or forever hold your peace”? Considering the fact that at the time of writing this, the only weddings I’d ever seen were on soap operas, you would think that the Dullexandra nuptials would have been a crazy drama-infested throwdown. Alas. On a related note, has anyone ever been to an actual wedding where they say that “speak now” bit? Slice and I thought it would have been funny if the judge at our wedding said it and then stared at the crowd for a full three minutes.
3) I do not understand why I was completely incapable of writing comedy. But as evidenced by any of Rick’s “goofball antics,” I most assuredly was.
COMING UP NEXT
I didn’t know the word for “reception,” so I called it “The Wedding Party.” This chapter includes: a reference to Mysterious Brother Danny, some trademark Rick goofball antics, and a couple dozen more reasons to loathe Angel. See you next time in …
Chapter 44 – The Wedding Party
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Chapter 42: Cry in the Night
Last week, Dustin showed up at Angel's house, cried on her, and slept on her sofa. But you know what? He really didn't cry enough. You could barely even call it "egregious." What do you say we make up for it today in ...
Chapter 42: Cry in the Night
Dustin stepped into his bedroom. Alex was sitting up waiting for him.
“Dustin! What’re you doing here?”
“What?”
“Don’t bother explaining. Barry told me it all.” She said nonchalantly.
“You … you … you were talking to Barry?”
“Well, yeah. I’m just surprised you didn’t find out sooner.”
“Find out what?”
“That I’m sleeping with him.”
“A … Ah … Alex. [ellipses between letters = awesome] You … you and he didn’t. He was lying.”
“Oh, come off it, Dustin.” She yawned. “Barry!” she called, “Come here!”
Barry Windham appeared from the bathroom.
“Hey, Dustin,” he greeted, as if nothing had ever happened between them. Barry climbed into bed with Alexandra.
“What kind of a joke is this? Alex, you’re gonna marry me!”
Alexandra York laughed. “I never said I’d marry you! Did you hear that, Barry?”
Barry was too consumed with laughter to reply.
“Now, Dustin, if you’ll excuse us, we have fantasies to act out! Barry, where’d you put my French Maid outfit?” She searched in the closet.
“Alex …” Dustin pleaded. Tears rolled down his cheeks. “I love you.”
Alexander came out of her closet and approached Dustin. “I know you do. But I don’t love you. I never did. You have to stop blocking out the past. I chose Barry, not you. I’m going to marry him.”
“No. No you didn’t. You’ve got it all wrong, Alex.”
“Dustin, stop it!” She was irritated now. Barry stood next to her.
“C’mon Alex,” said Barry. “Let’s pretend he’s gone, and maybe he’ll take the hint.” Barry wrapped his lips around hers and she melted into his arms.
“No! No! No!” Dustin yelled. “No!” He broke off and began to sob, chest convulsing. [convulsing? That’s something, even for Dustin.]
Angel ran down the stairs as soon as she heard Dustin’s shouts. [Angel? What’s she doing in Dustin’s bedroom … wait a minute … don’t tell me that was all a dream? Awww shucks.]
“Dustin? Oh my god, are you allright?” she stopped when she saw that he was in bed, safe. She rushed over to him and shook him gently. Dustin stopped thrashing around, but couldn’t stop crying [of course].
“Dustin, honey, it’s only a nightmare, wake up.” She shook him harder and he awoke with a start. “Dustin, it was a nightmare, calm down.” She grasped his shoulders.
“Oh, Angel. Thank god.” He blurted out, panting. He wiped at his eyes. Angel handed him a [wait for it … wait for it …] box of tissues. [HUZZAH!]
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Dustin shook his head.
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I’ll be Okay.”
“You had me scared half to death.”
“Did I scream or something?”
“Yeah. You sure you’re all right?”
“Yeah. Go back to sleep, I’m fine.”
“Okay. Sweet dreams, Dustin.” She kissed his forehead.
NOTES:
1) I would say: “wait, how was that a chapter? All that happened was Dustin had a nightmare, cried, and got handed tissues.” But Barry was in it, Dustin got shot down, and Alex had lines. I’ll take it.
2) Dustin, why are you such a wuss in your own dream? Crying while conscious is not enough for you, is it? You have to turn into a puddle of tears while you’re sleeping too?
3) Barry’s strategy for getting Dustin out of the room was awesome. Let’s make out and he’ll leave. Solid plan, my friend.
COMING UP NEXT:
Will Dustin tell Alex about Barry’s outburst or Angel’s couch? Who will Angel share her buffet plate with? Will someone speak now, or will peace forever be held? Find out next week in …
Chapter 43: The Big Day
Chapter 42: Cry in the Night
Dustin stepped into his bedroom. Alex was sitting up waiting for him.
“Dustin! What’re you doing here?”
“What?”
“Don’t bother explaining. Barry told me it all.” She said nonchalantly.
“You … you … you were talking to Barry?”
“Well, yeah. I’m just surprised you didn’t find out sooner.”
“Find out what?”
“That I’m sleeping with him.”
“A … Ah … Alex. [ellipses between letters = awesome] You … you and he didn’t. He was lying.”
“Oh, come off it, Dustin.” She yawned. “Barry!” she called, “Come here!”
Barry Windham appeared from the bathroom.
“Hey, Dustin,” he greeted, as if nothing had ever happened between them. Barry climbed into bed with Alexandra.
“What kind of a joke is this? Alex, you’re gonna marry me!”
Alexandra York laughed. “I never said I’d marry you! Did you hear that, Barry?”
Barry was too consumed with laughter to reply.
“Now, Dustin, if you’ll excuse us, we have fantasies to act out! Barry, where’d you put my French Maid outfit?” She searched in the closet.
“Alex …” Dustin pleaded. Tears rolled down his cheeks. “I love you.”
Alexander came out of her closet and approached Dustin. “I know you do. But I don’t love you. I never did. You have to stop blocking out the past. I chose Barry, not you. I’m going to marry him.”
“No. No you didn’t. You’ve got it all wrong, Alex.”
“Dustin, stop it!” She was irritated now. Barry stood next to her.
“C’mon Alex,” said Barry. “Let’s pretend he’s gone, and maybe he’ll take the hint.” Barry wrapped his lips around hers and she melted into his arms.
“No! No! No!” Dustin yelled. “No!” He broke off and began to sob, chest convulsing. [convulsing? That’s something, even for Dustin.]
Angel ran down the stairs as soon as she heard Dustin’s shouts. [Angel? What’s she doing in Dustin’s bedroom … wait a minute … don’t tell me that was all a dream? Awww shucks.]
“Dustin? Oh my god, are you allright?” she stopped when she saw that he was in bed, safe. She rushed over to him and shook him gently. Dustin stopped thrashing around, but couldn’t stop crying [of course].
“Dustin, honey, it’s only a nightmare, wake up.” She shook him harder and he awoke with a start. “Dustin, it was a nightmare, calm down.” She grasped his shoulders.
“Oh, Angel. Thank god.” He blurted out, panting. He wiped at his eyes. Angel handed him a [wait for it … wait for it …] box of tissues. [HUZZAH!]
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Dustin shook his head.
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I’ll be Okay.”
“You had me scared half to death.”
“Did I scream or something?”
“Yeah. You sure you’re all right?”
“Yeah. Go back to sleep, I’m fine.”
“Okay. Sweet dreams, Dustin.” She kissed his forehead.
NOTES:
1) I would say: “wait, how was that a chapter? All that happened was Dustin had a nightmare, cried, and got handed tissues.” But Barry was in it, Dustin got shot down, and Alex had lines. I’ll take it.
2) Dustin, why are you such a wuss in your own dream? Crying while conscious is not enough for you, is it? You have to turn into a puddle of tears while you’re sleeping too?
3) Barry’s strategy for getting Dustin out of the room was awesome. Let’s make out and he’ll leave. Solid plan, my friend.
COMING UP NEXT:
Will Dustin tell Alex about Barry’s outburst or Angel’s couch? Who will Angel share her buffet plate with? Will someone speak now, or will peace forever be held? Find out next week in …
Chapter 43: The Big Day
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
missing chapter?
Hiya folks.
It has come to my attention that a key early chapter has been missing from the blog for some time. Unconscionable! In case you missed it, here's a link: Chapter 14
It has come to my attention that a key early chapter has been missing from the blog for some time. Unconscionable! In case you missed it, here's a link: Chapter 14
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Chapter 41: Dustin's Bachelor Party (Part II)
Last week: Dustin was having the best party ever! Until Barry crashed it and revealed that he and Alex had done the nas-tay in Dustin's bed. On noes! So Dustin punched Barry out and drove to ... you guessed it ... Chateau Angel. This week: bleeding and crying. And away we go!
Chapter 41: Dustin's Bachelor Party (Part II)
It was the middle of the night. Angel had been fast asleep, her hair neatly pinned up, her chin neatly tucked under the covers [oh gross. Angel, can’t you even sleep without being irritating?]. She heard a loud rapping at the door [please be DMX].
“Angel!” That was Dustin’s voice. She flicked on the lights and squinted at their brightness.
“Dustin?” She threw back the bolt and opened the door. Stifling a yawn, she asked, “What’s going on?” she led him inside, then re-locked the door. “What happened to your hand?” She unwrapped the towel, now soaked with blood. She held his hand under the cold tap for a few minutes. He still hadn’t responded to any of her questions.
“Dustin, what is it? What happened? Here … sit down.” She led him to the couch. He sat down, but still kept silent.
“Angel, can I stay here tonight?”
Angel was speechless. “I … sure, Dustin. The couch opens up.” She made a quick icepack for his hand and held it against his badly swollen knuckles. “Were you in a fight or something?”
“Not really.”
“What’s going on? Is it Alex? Did you have an argument with her?” [uhm … is Angel accusing him of punching Alex so hard that his hand is swollen and bleeding? If so, why is she not more alarmed?]
“No.”
Angel looked at him in frustration, but couldn’t figure out anything by his expression. “Let me see your hand again.” He did and she re-inspected it.
“Who’d you punch, Dustin?”
“How’d you …”
“When you’ve been treating wrestling injuries as long as I have, you learn to be able to know these things.” [his knuckles are bruised and bleeding and he seems emotionally distressed. what the heck else could have happened? Did he think she would assume that he accidentally shut his hand in a car door and was so emotionally traumatized by the event that he had to rush to her house in the middle of the night to brood?]
“Is it broken?”
“I wont’ know until the swelling goes down a little. Do you want me to take you to get some X-rays?”
“No thanks.”
“Dustin …”
“I guess I owe you an explanation.”
Angel didn’t respond.
“Well … tonight was my bachelor party. It was goin’ great. Then …” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Barry crashed it.”
“Oh, Dustin!” Angel gasped.
“He said that … that Alex … that my … that Alex …” He couldn’t make the words come out.”
“Shh … calm down, calm down. Take it easy.” Angel rubbed his shoulder to try to soothe him.
“Barry said that Alexandra s-s-slept with him last night in my bed.” His chest hitched as he fought back a sob. [don’t fight it, Dustin. It’s been a long time since we’ve had some egregiousness up in here]
“Hey,” Angel’s voice was whisper-soft, calming and reassuring. “Why do you believe that scum anyway?”
Dustin shrugged, unable to speak.
“You trust Alex, don’t you?”
Dustin nodded.
“Well why worry? Barry just made that up to upset you because he’s jealous.”
“You think so?” [wait … that thought never crossed Dustin’s mind?]
“I know so. Doesn’t Alex hate him?”
“Well … yeah.”
“You see?”
“I guess I jumped to conclusions.”
“No you didn’t. You just still trust Barry.”
“I suppose I do, which is pretty stupid, considering everything.”
“Was he out cold?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
“Alex still thinks I’m with the guys and will be partying til dawn.”
“You gonna tell her?”
“Should I?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea right now.” [sure, why start being honest now?]
“Me too. After the honeymoon maybe.”
Angel looked at Dustin’s hand again. “It’s not broken, but be careful with it.”
“I will.”
“You still gonna stay here tonight?”
“Can I?”
“Of course. My couch is your couch.”
“Thanks.”
Angel went to get an extra blanket and pillow for Dustin, then he helped her open up the sofabed. “Angel, I can’t thank you enough.”
“No problem. Really.” She yawned. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get up awfully early tomorrow.”
“Oh, sure.”
“Dustin … you gonna be allright?”
“Yeah. Thanks so much.”
“Goodnight, Dustin.”
“Goodnight, Angel.”
NOTES:
1) Oh, that Angel. Truly, she is the font of all wisdom. I know I mentioned it up there, but seriously, how did Dustin not even consider for a second that Barry was lying? What’s that, you say? Maybe it’s because he subconsciously wants Alex to cheat on him so that he has an easy way out of the marriage so that he can be with his twu wuv Angel? I assure you that 14-year-old me was not thinking that.
2) Where are Angel’s pets?
3) Why does Angel have to get up so early in the morning? Is there an event? If so, why doesn’t Dustin know anything about it?
4) I regret not including a description of Angel’s sleepwear. I think it probably involved pink flannel pajamas and a light blue bathrobe.
COMING UP NEXT …
One of my favorite chapters. I don’t want to give too much away, but it involves a French maid costume, panting, and a box of tissues. Guesses? Nope, not even close. Here’s another hint: it also involves convulsive sobbing. That’s more like it. See you next time for …
CHAPTER 42: Cry in the Night
Chapter 41: Dustin's Bachelor Party (Part II)
It was the middle of the night. Angel had been fast asleep, her hair neatly pinned up, her chin neatly tucked under the covers [oh gross. Angel, can’t you even sleep without being irritating?]. She heard a loud rapping at the door [please be DMX].
“Angel!” That was Dustin’s voice. She flicked on the lights and squinted at their brightness.
“Dustin?” She threw back the bolt and opened the door. Stifling a yawn, she asked, “What’s going on?” she led him inside, then re-locked the door. “What happened to your hand?” She unwrapped the towel, now soaked with blood. She held his hand under the cold tap for a few minutes. He still hadn’t responded to any of her questions.
“Dustin, what is it? What happened? Here … sit down.” She led him to the couch. He sat down, but still kept silent.
“Angel, can I stay here tonight?”
Angel was speechless. “I … sure, Dustin. The couch opens up.” She made a quick icepack for his hand and held it against his badly swollen knuckles. “Were you in a fight or something?”
“Not really.”
“What’s going on? Is it Alex? Did you have an argument with her?” [uhm … is Angel accusing him of punching Alex so hard that his hand is swollen and bleeding? If so, why is she not more alarmed?]
“No.”
Angel looked at him in frustration, but couldn’t figure out anything by his expression. “Let me see your hand again.” He did and she re-inspected it.
“Who’d you punch, Dustin?”
“How’d you …”
“When you’ve been treating wrestling injuries as long as I have, you learn to be able to know these things.” [his knuckles are bruised and bleeding and he seems emotionally distressed. what the heck else could have happened? Did he think she would assume that he accidentally shut his hand in a car door and was so emotionally traumatized by the event that he had to rush to her house in the middle of the night to brood?]
“Is it broken?”
“I wont’ know until the swelling goes down a little. Do you want me to take you to get some X-rays?”
“No thanks.”
“Dustin …”
“I guess I owe you an explanation.”
Angel didn’t respond.
“Well … tonight was my bachelor party. It was goin’ great. Then …” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Barry crashed it.”
“Oh, Dustin!” Angel gasped.
“He said that … that Alex … that my … that Alex …” He couldn’t make the words come out.”
“Shh … calm down, calm down. Take it easy.” Angel rubbed his shoulder to try to soothe him.
“Barry said that Alexandra s-s-slept with him last night in my bed.” His chest hitched as he fought back a sob. [don’t fight it, Dustin. It’s been a long time since we’ve had some egregiousness up in here]
“Hey,” Angel’s voice was whisper-soft, calming and reassuring. “Why do you believe that scum anyway?”
Dustin shrugged, unable to speak.
“You trust Alex, don’t you?”
Dustin nodded.
“Well why worry? Barry just made that up to upset you because he’s jealous.”
“You think so?” [wait … that thought never crossed Dustin’s mind?]
“I know so. Doesn’t Alex hate him?”
“Well … yeah.”
“You see?”
“I guess I jumped to conclusions.”
“No you didn’t. You just still trust Barry.”
“I suppose I do, which is pretty stupid, considering everything.”
“Was he out cold?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
“Alex still thinks I’m with the guys and will be partying til dawn.”
“You gonna tell her?”
“Should I?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea right now.” [sure, why start being honest now?]
“Me too. After the honeymoon maybe.”
Angel looked at Dustin’s hand again. “It’s not broken, but be careful with it.”
“I will.”
“You still gonna stay here tonight?”
“Can I?”
“Of course. My couch is your couch.”
“Thanks.”
Angel went to get an extra blanket and pillow for Dustin, then he helped her open up the sofabed. “Angel, I can’t thank you enough.”
“No problem. Really.” She yawned. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get up awfully early tomorrow.”
“Oh, sure.”
“Dustin … you gonna be allright?”
“Yeah. Thanks so much.”
“Goodnight, Dustin.”
“Goodnight, Angel.”
NOTES:
1) Oh, that Angel. Truly, she is the font of all wisdom. I know I mentioned it up there, but seriously, how did Dustin not even consider for a second that Barry was lying? What’s that, you say? Maybe it’s because he subconsciously wants Alex to cheat on him so that he has an easy way out of the marriage so that he can be with his twu wuv Angel? I assure you that 14-year-old me was not thinking that.
2) Where are Angel’s pets?
3) Why does Angel have to get up so early in the morning? Is there an event? If so, why doesn’t Dustin know anything about it?
4) I regret not including a description of Angel’s sleepwear. I think it probably involved pink flannel pajamas and a light blue bathrobe.
COMING UP NEXT …
One of my favorite chapters. I don’t want to give too much away, but it involves a French maid costume, panting, and a box of tissues. Guesses? Nope, not even close. Here’s another hint: it also involves convulsive sobbing. That’s more like it. See you next time for …
CHAPTER 42: Cry in the Night
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Chapter 41: Dustin's Bachelor Party (Part I)
Welcome, friends. In last week’s thrilling chapter, Violet intercepted mail, Felicia was a Wakefield twin, and we were reminded that Justina Foster exists. This week? FISTICUFFS! Bring it!
Chapter 41: Dustin’s Bachelor Party
Dustin smiled. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been with “all the guys.” Sting, Ricky Steamboat, the Steiners, Ron Simmons, Scorpio, Arn Anderson, and many others were there. The party was in full swing, and Dustin was having the time of his life.
Sting approached him. “Hey, Dustin. How’d things go with Angel?”
“We’re just fine.” [how about you and Alexan … oh, nevermind]
“That’s great.”
Scotty Steiner joined in on this conversation.
“Scotty! How’s it going?” greeted Dustin, giving his friend a pat on the back.
“Great. I feel wonderful not being tied to one woman.” [exactly the thing to say to the groom at a bachelor party]
“You and Marie broke up?”
“Yeah. It’s better this way. It really is.”
“What changed your mind?”
“You mean who changed my mind. It was Angel. She’s great. She convinced me to just let things happen. It’s a fantastic philosophy.” [someone alert Hegel. He’s got competition!]
There was more mixing and mingling, and the general mood of the party was incredibly happy. Everyone was having a terrific time. That is, until an unexpected guest showed up.
The door in Sting’s house banged open and all eyes turned to the disturbance. A tall, lanky figure appeared in the doorway. A glass shattered on the floor. There were a few gasps. [who is it? The Grim Reaper? Elijah the Prophet?] Dustin stepped toward the figure.
“Barry … what the hell are you doing here?” his voice was full of anger and shock.
Barry Windham laughed shortly. “She doesn’t want you, Dustin. She never did. So who’s your best man? I guess it’s not me, eh?” He found this hilarious. He recovered from his giggles quickly. “Oh, my friend, I feel so sorry for you. You think she’s so perfect, don’t you? Wouldn’t you find it interesting to know that yesterday she slept with me in your own bed!”
A deathly silence fell over the group. [what? It’s a room full of testosterone-fueled ‘roidheads. All they’re doing is staring?] Dustin pulled back his fist and punched Barry as hard as he could. [that’s more like it].
“You’re lying! You’re lying!” He shouted, he then proceeded to call Barry every curse he knew. Sting and Rick Steiner each grabbed an arm of Barry and dragged him outside. They threw him into the bed of his pick-up, then returned to the house.
Dustin’s hand was swollen and bleeding. He had a towel wrapped around it. He was silent, but seething.
He stood up.
“Sting, I appreciate you goin’ to all this trouble for me, but … uh … I need to be alone now.” He spoke slowly.
“I understand. You allright?”
Dustin shook his head no.
“You sure you don’t …”
“I’ll be fine. I need to think, talk to Alexandra. Don’t say anythin’ to her, OK?”
Sting nodded. After a chorus of good-byes, Dustin left. He intended to drive all night, then maybe call Alex, but he wasn’t all that surprised when he realized that he had driven to Angel’s house …..
TO BE CONTINUED
NOTES:
1) Of course he drove to Angel’s house. Wouldn’t you?
2) Yay Barry! I’ve missed that cantankerous fellow. Speaking of which, I wish I had given Arn some lines in this chapter.
3) Wait, he drove to Angel’s house? From Sting’s house? Doesn’t Sting live on the beach whereas Angel lives somewhere in Minnesota? How long was he driving? Or did Angel move again?
COMING UP NEXT …
Dustin rings Angel’s doorbell. She answers it. And then … there is … wait for it … wait for it … THAT’S RIGHT, egregious crying! It’s been far, far too long.
Tune in next week for …
Chapter 41: Dustin’s Bachelor Party (Part II)
Chapter 41: Dustin’s Bachelor Party
Dustin smiled. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been with “all the guys.” Sting, Ricky Steamboat, the Steiners, Ron Simmons, Scorpio, Arn Anderson, and many others were there. The party was in full swing, and Dustin was having the time of his life.
Sting approached him. “Hey, Dustin. How’d things go with Angel?”
“We’re just fine.” [how about you and Alexan … oh, nevermind]
“That’s great.”
Scotty Steiner joined in on this conversation.
“Scotty! How’s it going?” greeted Dustin, giving his friend a pat on the back.
“Great. I feel wonderful not being tied to one woman.” [exactly the thing to say to the groom at a bachelor party]
“You and Marie broke up?”
“Yeah. It’s better this way. It really is.”
“What changed your mind?”
“You mean who changed my mind. It was Angel. She’s great. She convinced me to just let things happen. It’s a fantastic philosophy.” [someone alert Hegel. He’s got competition!]
There was more mixing and mingling, and the general mood of the party was incredibly happy. Everyone was having a terrific time. That is, until an unexpected guest showed up.
The door in Sting’s house banged open and all eyes turned to the disturbance. A tall, lanky figure appeared in the doorway. A glass shattered on the floor. There were a few gasps. [who is it? The Grim Reaper? Elijah the Prophet?] Dustin stepped toward the figure.
“Barry … what the hell are you doing here?” his voice was full of anger and shock.
Barry Windham laughed shortly. “She doesn’t want you, Dustin. She never did. So who’s your best man? I guess it’s not me, eh?” He found this hilarious. He recovered from his giggles quickly. “Oh, my friend, I feel so sorry for you. You think she’s so perfect, don’t you? Wouldn’t you find it interesting to know that yesterday she slept with me in your own bed!”
A deathly silence fell over the group. [what? It’s a room full of testosterone-fueled ‘roidheads. All they’re doing is staring?] Dustin pulled back his fist and punched Barry as hard as he could. [that’s more like it].
“You’re lying! You’re lying!” He shouted, he then proceeded to call Barry every curse he knew. Sting and Rick Steiner each grabbed an arm of Barry and dragged him outside. They threw him into the bed of his pick-up, then returned to the house.
Dustin’s hand was swollen and bleeding. He had a towel wrapped around it. He was silent, but seething.
He stood up.
“Sting, I appreciate you goin’ to all this trouble for me, but … uh … I need to be alone now.” He spoke slowly.
“I understand. You allright?”
Dustin shook his head no.
“You sure you don’t …”
“I’ll be fine. I need to think, talk to Alexandra. Don’t say anythin’ to her, OK?”
Sting nodded. After a chorus of good-byes, Dustin left. He intended to drive all night, then maybe call Alex, but he wasn’t all that surprised when he realized that he had driven to Angel’s house …..
TO BE CONTINUED
NOTES:
1) Of course he drove to Angel’s house. Wouldn’t you?
2) Yay Barry! I’ve missed that cantankerous fellow. Speaking of which, I wish I had given Arn some lines in this chapter.
3) Wait, he drove to Angel’s house? From Sting’s house? Doesn’t Sting live on the beach whereas Angel lives somewhere in Minnesota? How long was he driving? Or did Angel move again?
COMING UP NEXT …
Dustin rings Angel’s doorbell. She answers it. And then … there is … wait for it … wait for it … THAT’S RIGHT, egregious crying! It’s been far, far too long.
Tune in next week for …
Chapter 41: Dustin’s Bachelor Party (Part II)
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