When we last left our witless crew of characters, Chris and Justina were making the impossibly harrowing trek from Baltimore to Harrisburg. Today, Angel calls and old friend on the phone and gets some remarkably reasonable advice.
Now if you're like me, ever since that episode of The Office where Michael said: "Two queens on Casino Night. I am going to... drop a deuce on everybody," you giggle when you hear the word "Deuce." If this is the case for you, then get ready to chuckle your way through ...
Chapter 61: Deuce
As soon as Angel had hung up the phone, she knew she had made a crazy mistake. But she also knew she couldn’t very well call Jeff back and un-invite herself [uhm, why not?] And mostly, she wanted to go visit him. She wanted to get away from life for a while—to not have to go to work early and leave late so she wouldn’t have to see Chris—to not have to glare at every woman with red hair just in case she was the one. A break was most assuredly in order. But this? This was crazy.
“Because I can’t not have sex with him,” she said aloud to the empty room. [uhm, again, why not? Are you planning on slipping yourself some roofies?]
That was wrong. Obviously she could do whatever she wanted. More accurately, then: “Because I want to have sex with him. And I’m going to. Aaaaaaaaaand … I’m talking to myself. This is why I need female friends.” She rubbed her temples and flopped down on her hotel bed. [how did she get to her hotel? Wasn’t she just in her office?] She opened her address book and flipped through the names.
“Madusa!” she nearly squealed. It had been a while, but she hoped her old friend would be awake. [how does the first half of that sentence relate to the second half of that sentence?]
“Hello?”
“Deuce!”
“Angel!”
“Sorry to call so late.”
“Not a problem. How the hell are you?”
“Good. Crazy. Good.”
They spent the next hour catching up. Madusa, as it turned out, had gotten into racing monster trucks, and had no intention of returning to the business. [I did not make that up]
“I wouldn’t mind a break myself,” said Angel. “Which brings me to my current situation.”
“Angel, are you thinking of leaving because of what happened with Chris?”
“No. Not leaving. Just going on a vacation.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound so bad.”
“A vacation with Jeff. At his house in North Carolina.”
“Ang, that sounds better than not bad.”
“I know. But … Deuce, I have a weird question.”
“Shoot.”
“So … I’m pretty sure we’re going to have sex.”
“Yeah …?”
“Well … this will be … my first time.”
“Wait … seriously?”
“Yes.”
“Wow. Ok. Well, are you sure you want it to be with Jeff?”
“I think so. Deuce, do you think he will be able to tell?”
“He doesn’t know?”
“Nope.”
“And you’re not planning on telling him in advance?”
“I don’t know. Won’t that be awkward?” [not as awkward as, say, having sex with someone that you don’t trust enough to be honest with about the fact that you’ve never had sex before.]
“I can think of several potentially awkward things about this situation.”
“I know.”
“You really should tell him. Otherwise, he’ll go in with guns blazing.”
“What does that mean?”
“Angel …”
“Ok, Ok, I know what you mean. But how do I bring this up?” [didn’t have to ask that last time you were in a hotel room with Jeff. BOOYA!]
“How about the direct approach? Couple that with honesty and you’re good to go.”
“He’s going to think I’m a huge freak.” [tell him he can take a number]
“And if he does, he’s not worth your virginity.”
That thought gave Angel pause. [maybe it’s because it’s the first sensible thing any character has ever said in this entire tome]
“I’m right, Angel.”
“I know.”
“Your virginity isn’t, like, this disease you’ve got to get rid of so you can be a normal person. It’s your body and your decision.”
“I know. I just feel like it’s a weight around my neck, you know? Something I should have gotten over with when I was a teenager.”
“I think you’d be amazed how many people wish they could take a good deal of the decisions they made as a teenager back.”
“I just … it’s like it’s become this huge deal … something bigger than it has to be.”
“According to who?”
“I don’t know, Deuce. To me, I guess. I always thought that waiting until marriage was the safest option, because then I’d be sure that the guy I lost it to would never hurt me, but I know that’s a fantasy. People hurt people. And Chris wanted to marry me, but that wasn’t enough for me. I don’t trust guys, Deuce, and I’m not entirely sure that that’s a bad thing. I don’t need to trust Jeff for this.”
“Angel, that’s ridiculous.”
“That’s not what I mean entirely. I mean, I do trust him to respect me and to be careful about stuff, but I don’t’ trust him with my heart, because he’ll never get it. “
“So you’re sure?”
“Yes.”
“That he’s getting your cherry [gross] or that he’s not getting your heart?”
“Deuce!” Angel groaned. She then added: “Both.”
“You have to tell him.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“Before you have sex with him.”
“I get it, Madusa, I get it.”
“Just checking.”
“It’s going to hurt, isn’t it?”
“Probably. Maybe. I think it does for most women. This is, of course, one of the main reasons for you to tell him. Guns blazing, Ang.” [I think we all could have done without that reminder.]
“Duly noted. Thanks for the advice.”
“Of course. Ang—just remember something—you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. And you don’t need to get back at Chris via having sex with Jeff.”
Angel was silent.
“Ang?”
“I hear you, Deuce. Maybe … maybe it’s not about getting back at him …” She sniffled audibly; the tears were starting. “Maybe it’s about forgetting him. When I was with Jeff, I never thought about Chris.”
“Angel?” Madusa said gently, “If you replaced the word ‘Jeff’ with ‘booze’ or ‘pills,’ I’d be worried.”
“But I didn’t.”
“No. And I don’t mean to lecture you … I’m just saying be careful. Do what feels right. Don’t force anything. And most importantly …”
“Yes?”
“Call me when you get back.”
Angel laughed. “I will. And Madusa?”
“Yes?”
“Thanks.”
NOTES
1) I could make a gross comment about Madusa's "don't force anything" advice, but I will restrain myself. Instead, I will just giggle. Hee hee!!!
2) I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually feel kind of sorry for Angel. Trying to erase one guy with another. I've been there, lady. Sometimes you're better off with booze or pills. Not that I've ever really had either. Except that time at my rehearsal dinner where I was so stressed out by my mother-in-law that I actually had a rum and coke in the hopes that it would mellow me out. It worked. It tasted like nasty on fire, but it worked. Wait, where was I? Oh yes. My larger point is that using people to get over other people can make just as much trouble as using various substances. Now that I can attest to. Man, I did a lot of stupid things when I was in college. Without booze or pills.
3) Can you imagine how different this conversation would have been if Angel had called Rick instead?
COMING UP NEXT ...
Yay, another Angel-free chapter! Not only Angel-free ... but ... ellipses for emphasis ... BARRY-FULL! Whee! Tune in next week for ...
Chapter 62: Harrisburg
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Chapter 60: Passenger
Previously on UnabashedlyBad: Angel and Jeff made us all want to gouge our eyes out by being generally gross. Dustin and Angel made up. Dustin talked about Tahiti. Angel decided to call Jeff. Zzzzzzzz. Today, as promised: an Angel-free chapter. Enjoy!
Chapter 60: Passenger
“So let me get this straight,” Chris said as he tossed his duffel bag into the trunk. [huzzah! Duffel bagging!] “You got a job applying make-up?”
“You make it sound so glamorous,” Justina said dryly.
“It’s just weird. All the guys do their own paint.”
“Not on guys, dipwad. On the women. You know how much they’ve got invested in T&A.”
“But I thought you were in fashion.”
“I am. But that’s more of a side job—I take orders and make ring outfits. But that’s not a steady gig. Plus,” she added, getting into the driver’s side, “Now I get to travel, see the country.”
“Sounds like a pretty lame fringe benefit, Foss. Traveling is heinous after a while.”
“So where exactly are we off to again?” she asked as Chris closed the door.
“Harrisburg, PA.”
“Long drive.” [from Baltimore? No it’s not. Not even close.]
“Yep, but cheaper than flying.” [of course it is. Who would fly from Baltimore to Harrisburg?]
“Gives us time.”
“For what?”
“To sort this out.”
“Justina …”
“Chris, it’s been a while. We need to talk. I need to talk, if nothing else.”
“Allright. I guess I’m not going anywhere … unless I want to walk to Harrisburg. Although that does sound like an attractive option right now.”
“So I think I finally saw Angel.”
“Yeah?”
“Mmmhmm. She’s the nurse, right?”
“One of them. I think there are two now.”
“Well, the one I saw was blonde.”
“They’re both blonde.”
“Oh this one was with Dustin Rhodes and …”
“That was her.”
“Ah. Well. She’s pretty.”
“Yep.”
“Extra pretty.” [you need a few more “extras” if you want to accurately convey her physical beauty, lady. Like at least a baker’s dozen of “extras”.]
“Foss …”
“I’m just saying … you have good taste. Anyway, what was she like?”
“Why does it matter?”
“It doesn’t, I guess. I’m just curious.”
“Well what was Scott like.”
“He was a nice guy. A little overemotional. Kind of weird about sex. But a nice guy.”
“Weird how?”
“Like … he was interested in doing it, but not about talking about it. You know?”
“Huh.”
“Yeah. So what was she like in bed?”
“Foss …” His tone sharpened.
“Alright, alright. I’ll drop it.”
They sat in silence for the next few minutes. [a few minutes? They must be halfway to Harrisburg, then.]
“I don’t know, actually.”
“What?”
“What she was like in bed. We never slept together.”
“You didn’t? But I thought you’d been dating for a while.”
“We were. She was waiting for marriage.”
“Oh. Not ready to seal your coffin, eh?”
“Charming portrait of holy matrimony. And actually, she was the commitment-phobe. I proposed and she turned me down.”
“You proposed?” Justina nearly swerved into the next lane.
“Careful there.”
“Damn. I guess it was pretty serious.”
“You could say that.” Chris studied the landscape intensely. [ah, the beautiful I-83 corridor]
“I’m sorry, Chris.”
He nodded and swallowed hard.
“Have you talked to her?”
“Not really. Wouldn’t know what to say.”
“Do you … do you want her back?”
“Justina …”
“I won’t be mad, Chris. I just want an honest answer.”
“No. We’re done. We had a lot of issues independent of you and me. So no.”
“Okay.”
“You don’t believe me.”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t have to.”
“What are we, Chris?”
“We are … Justipher 2.0.”
“Ugg, I’ve been trying to forget that nickname ever since we graduated.”
“I lobbied hard for Chris-tina.”
“Christina Adkins shot that down.”
“Remember that crazy English professor?”
“Hey … Cavanaugh was an integral portion to my education portion.”
“Your hair was awesome back in the day.”
“Speak for yourself.” [is that the proper retort? I think she means “you’re one to talk” or something like that]
“You went through hair spray like water.”
“Again, speak for yourself.” [see above]
“Guilty,” Chris said, smiling.
“Chris, how did you end up in my hotel room?”
“That was my hotel room.”
“What a bizarre mix-up.”
“I know.”
“Fate?”
“Who knows?” Chris said. He reached into his pocket and fished out his wallet. “I’ll make a deal with you. You let me sleep the rest of the way, I’ll cover gas money.” [so you get a 20-minute nap and have to chip in $3.50?]
“I choose the music.”
“Deal.” Chris opened his wallet. He grabbed two twenties and put them into the glove compartment. Before closing his wallet, he removed the picture of Angel. Justina watched him from the corner of her eye.
Chris rolled down the window and let the picture flutter out. Then he closed his eyes and reclined his seat back.
“You didn’t have to do that,” Justina said.
“Yes I did.”
They drove the rest of the way in silence.
NOTES:
1) That’s nice. So now women can either be nurses, secretaries, seamstresses, or make-up artists. Or, of course, vindictive psychos.
2) Chris, heartbreak is no excuse for littering. On another note, does anyone carry pictures of their girlfriends in their wallet? Slice sure as heck doesn’t. He prides himself on having as little as possible in his wallet. I think he’s got one credit card, his license, and maybe a dollar. Also, his wallet is made out of duct tape. To be fair, I’ve never given him a wallet-sized photo of me. Sears portrait studio, here I come!
COMING UP NEXT …
This Angelless chapter was nice, no? Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, because the next one is chock full o’ Angel. It also features a character I’m willing to bet most of you had forgotten about. The mystery of who that character is should probably be solved upon reading the title of our next thrilling installment … tune in next time for …
Chapter 61: Deuce
Chapter 60: Passenger
“So let me get this straight,” Chris said as he tossed his duffel bag into the trunk. [huzzah! Duffel bagging!] “You got a job applying make-up?”
“You make it sound so glamorous,” Justina said dryly.
“It’s just weird. All the guys do their own paint.”
“Not on guys, dipwad. On the women. You know how much they’ve got invested in T&A.”
“But I thought you were in fashion.”
“I am. But that’s more of a side job—I take orders and make ring outfits. But that’s not a steady gig. Plus,” she added, getting into the driver’s side, “Now I get to travel, see the country.”
“Sounds like a pretty lame fringe benefit, Foss. Traveling is heinous after a while.”
“So where exactly are we off to again?” she asked as Chris closed the door.
“Harrisburg, PA.”
“Long drive.” [from Baltimore? No it’s not. Not even close.]
“Yep, but cheaper than flying.” [of course it is. Who would fly from Baltimore to Harrisburg?]
“Gives us time.”
“For what?”
“To sort this out.”
“Justina …”
“Chris, it’s been a while. We need to talk. I need to talk, if nothing else.”
“Allright. I guess I’m not going anywhere … unless I want to walk to Harrisburg. Although that does sound like an attractive option right now.”
“So I think I finally saw Angel.”
“Yeah?”
“Mmmhmm. She’s the nurse, right?”
“One of them. I think there are two now.”
“Well, the one I saw was blonde.”
“They’re both blonde.”
“Oh this one was with Dustin Rhodes and …”
“That was her.”
“Ah. Well. She’s pretty.”
“Yep.”
“Extra pretty.” [you need a few more “extras” if you want to accurately convey her physical beauty, lady. Like at least a baker’s dozen of “extras”.]
“Foss …”
“I’m just saying … you have good taste. Anyway, what was she like?”
“Why does it matter?”
“It doesn’t, I guess. I’m just curious.”
“Well what was Scott like.”
“He was a nice guy. A little overemotional. Kind of weird about sex. But a nice guy.”
“Weird how?”
“Like … he was interested in doing it, but not about talking about it. You know?”
“Huh.”
“Yeah. So what was she like in bed?”
“Foss …” His tone sharpened.
“Alright, alright. I’ll drop it.”
They sat in silence for the next few minutes. [a few minutes? They must be halfway to Harrisburg, then.]
“I don’t know, actually.”
“What?”
“What she was like in bed. We never slept together.”
“You didn’t? But I thought you’d been dating for a while.”
“We were. She was waiting for marriage.”
“Oh. Not ready to seal your coffin, eh?”
“Charming portrait of holy matrimony. And actually, she was the commitment-phobe. I proposed and she turned me down.”
“You proposed?” Justina nearly swerved into the next lane.
“Careful there.”
“Damn. I guess it was pretty serious.”
“You could say that.” Chris studied the landscape intensely. [ah, the beautiful I-83 corridor]
“I’m sorry, Chris.”
He nodded and swallowed hard.
“Have you talked to her?”
“Not really. Wouldn’t know what to say.”
“Do you … do you want her back?”
“Justina …”
“I won’t be mad, Chris. I just want an honest answer.”
“No. We’re done. We had a lot of issues independent of you and me. So no.”
“Okay.”
“You don’t believe me.”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t have to.”
“What are we, Chris?”
“We are … Justipher 2.0.”
“Ugg, I’ve been trying to forget that nickname ever since we graduated.”
“I lobbied hard for Chris-tina.”
“Christina Adkins shot that down.”
“Remember that crazy English professor?”
“Hey … Cavanaugh was an integral portion to my education portion.”
“Your hair was awesome back in the day.”
“Speak for yourself.” [is that the proper retort? I think she means “you’re one to talk” or something like that]
“You went through hair spray like water.”
“Again, speak for yourself.” [see above]
“Guilty,” Chris said, smiling.
“Chris, how did you end up in my hotel room?”
“That was my hotel room.”
“What a bizarre mix-up.”
“I know.”
“Fate?”
“Who knows?” Chris said. He reached into his pocket and fished out his wallet. “I’ll make a deal with you. You let me sleep the rest of the way, I’ll cover gas money.” [so you get a 20-minute nap and have to chip in $3.50?]
“I choose the music.”
“Deal.” Chris opened his wallet. He grabbed two twenties and put them into the glove compartment. Before closing his wallet, he removed the picture of Angel. Justina watched him from the corner of her eye.
Chris rolled down the window and let the picture flutter out. Then he closed his eyes and reclined his seat back.
“You didn’t have to do that,” Justina said.
“Yes I did.”
They drove the rest of the way in silence.
NOTES:
1) That’s nice. So now women can either be nurses, secretaries, seamstresses, or make-up artists. Or, of course, vindictive psychos.
2) Chris, heartbreak is no excuse for littering. On another note, does anyone carry pictures of their girlfriends in their wallet? Slice sure as heck doesn’t. He prides himself on having as little as possible in his wallet. I think he’s got one credit card, his license, and maybe a dollar. Also, his wallet is made out of duct tape. To be fair, I’ve never given him a wallet-sized photo of me. Sears portrait studio, here I come!
COMING UP NEXT …
This Angelless chapter was nice, no? Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, because the next one is chock full o’ Angel. It also features a character I’m willing to bet most of you had forgotten about. The mystery of who that character is should probably be solved upon reading the title of our next thrilling installment … tune in next time for …
Chapter 61: Deuce
Monday, January 4, 2010
Chapter 59: Invitations
Sorry for that long hiatus. I was up in the frozen northeast visiting family and having job interviews and drinking a lot of cola products. Mmm, boy! Now I'm back in the frozen Southern mid-atlantic sitting on my couch and obsessing about how my job interviews went and drinking a lot of tea. And, of course, updating Unabashedly Bad.
So ... where were we? Ah, yes. Dustin worried about Angel's decision to leave a bar with that nefarious ladykiller, Jeff Hardy. Angel and Jeff partook in some frisky business (not the kind that can get you pregnant, just the kind that can spread disease, but who worries about that in this day and age?). Angel repeatedly congratulated herself for not thinking about what she was doing. Jeff invited Angel to brunch. I assume she ordered eggs sunny-side up, both to match her sunny personality and to bring out the blonde in her hair. Today? Jeffgel bore us some more and then we go back to Angel's office. Get comfy folks, this is a long one:
Chapter 59: Invitations
Jeff was funny and easy to talk to. Nothing was awkward, nothing was difficult [except keeping your pants on]. The reason for that, Angel assumed, was that they had no expectations of each other. She was probably just Jeff’s latest conquest and he … well … he was her rebound. No relationship, no worries. So Angel was somewhat taken aback when Jeff asked her to visit him on his vacation.
“You want me to what?”
“Visit me. In North Carolina. I’ve got some time off coming to me and I’m going home for a bit. I want you to come.”
“Jeff …”
“Don’t answer yet. Just think about it. No pressure, Angel. I just like you and want to see you again.”
“Jeff, look, I’m just coming off a really bad relationship and I don’t want to get involved with anyone right now.”
“Angel, if you’re saying that because you don’t want to see me again, that’s cool, but if you’re saying that because you’re relationship-phobic, uhm, seriously, it’s cool, because I am too. I don’t want to get involved right now either. I just think it would be fun. And I know it’s kind of forward of me to ask, but I figured what the hell, you know?”
She smiled at him and shook her head. “You are one bold fellow.”
Jeff laughed. “So just think about it, okay? That’s all I’m asking.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Allright.”
“Allright.” Jeff smiled at her as if she knew she’d be accepting his offer. She wasn’t as sure as he seemed to be that this was a good idea, but she was also not entirely sure she’d be able to turn him down, either. [those slash-burns are pretty mesmerizing]
----
As Angel set up the infirmary that night, she tried to focus on the task at hand instead of letting her mind drift to Jeff’s invitation. She was so lost in thought that she barely noticed Dustin standing in the doorway.
“Hey,” he said, “I startle you?”
“Oh, hey Dustin. Sorry, I was just lost in thought.”
“You got a minute, Angel?”
“Uhm, I don’t know.”
“The card doesn’t start for two hours.” [then what are you doing there?]
“Well there’s a lot more setting up to do.”
“Angel? Are you mad at me?”
She put down the box of gauze she had been aimlessly relocating and sighed. [Good ol’ gauze. Can’t have an infirmary without it.] “No, Dustin, I’m not mad at you. I’m just avoiding the conversation I know you’re trying to start with me.”
“How much longer do you want to avoid it? I can come back,” he said with mock seriousness. She laughed reluctantly.
“Allright.” She sat on a cot and he took a folding chair. “So how was your honeymoon?”
“Great. Beautiful. Three weeks ago.”
“Sounds nice. Except for that last part.”
“What happened, Angel?” [on the honeymoon? Weren’t you there? Oh. Wait. He’s talking about Angel’s life. Of course. How silly of me.]
She set her gaze to a remote corner of the room and exhaled. “Chris and I broke up.”
“Why? Was it because of …”
“It was because he ran into his ex-girlfriend and slept with her.” [uhm, I think there was something that happened before that event, but hey, let’s go with it]
“Oh. Wow[lions]. Man, I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, well. Those are the breaks, huh?”
“Angel …”
“I’m fine, Dustin. Really.”
“Angel, you can’t be fine.”
“Allright, well, I’m not fine per se, but I’m dealing.”
“With Jeff Hardy?”
“Yes. Ok? Yes. I’ve got my eyes open on this, Dustin. Jeff can’t hurt me. We’re just hanging out and having fun and it’s nothing even remotely serious. And look, I’m sorry I snapped at you before, because I know you’re just looking out for me, but I’m good, OK?”
“Ok Angel. I just worry about you. And I want you to be OK.”
“I know, Dustin.” She gave him a tight hug. “So look … isn’t it about time I meet Alex while she’s not in a big poufy dress? We should grab dinner one of these nights, the three of us.” [so I’m guessing that Angel just assumes Dustin has not manned up about his lip-tryst with Angel, otherwise why the hell would she suggest such a meeting?]
“That would be good. But her sister is having a baby and it’s been a rough pregnancy. The due date is soon and Alex has been spending a lot of time over there.”
“Oh … well, I sure hope everything is OK.”
“Yeah. I’m sure everything will be fine. Maybe you two can meet at the Halloween party.”
“That’s like, almost two months from now.”
“I know, but I’m so psyched already.”
Angel giggled. “Always good to have something to look forward to.”
“Yeah, well with Tahiti behind me, I’ve got to be excited about something ahead of me.” [how about years of wedded bliss? Or further delightful folding-chair conversation with the blondest, beautifullest woman ever?]
“Tell me about Tahiti.”
“It was so insanely beautiful … just so … not here. You know?”
“Not where? Baltimore?”
“Yes. No. Yes. Not anywhere familiar. We travel all over, you know? But we never go anywhere. It was nice to just get away.”
“I’m officially jealous.”
“You should be,” he said with a grin.
“Allright, Dustin. I seriously do have to finish setting up here.” [gauze doesn’t unbox itself]
“Yeah, I’ve got to change anyway. Good catching up with you, Ang.”
“You too, Dustin. And thanks for looking out for me.”
“That’s what friends are for,” he said, leaving her office.
Tahiti, thought Angel. Wouldn’t it be amazing to get away from everyone she knew, even if it was just for a few days? Even if it wasn’t Tahiti, but just North Carolina?
She dialed Jeff’s number.
NOTES:
1) Angel is correct. North Carolina is most assuredly not Tahiti. Case in point: today’s temperature in Tahiti: 83. North Carolina? 25. Ugg.
2) How many of you thought for a second that Angel was not going to call Jeff? No hands? Really? Not one?
ALLLLLLRIGHTY then. Coming up next …
Ladies and gents, there’s a 100% Angel-free chapter up next! Woo-hoo! Tune in next time for a semi-interesting conversation between Chris and Justina! There will be mildly witty dialogue and evidence of my disinterest in US geography. See you then for …
Chapter 60: Passenger
So ... where were we? Ah, yes. Dustin worried about Angel's decision to leave a bar with that nefarious ladykiller, Jeff Hardy. Angel and Jeff partook in some frisky business (not the kind that can get you pregnant, just the kind that can spread disease, but who worries about that in this day and age?). Angel repeatedly congratulated herself for not thinking about what she was doing. Jeff invited Angel to brunch. I assume she ordered eggs sunny-side up, both to match her sunny personality and to bring out the blonde in her hair. Today? Jeffgel bore us some more and then we go back to Angel's office. Get comfy folks, this is a long one:
Chapter 59: Invitations
Jeff was funny and easy to talk to. Nothing was awkward, nothing was difficult [except keeping your pants on]. The reason for that, Angel assumed, was that they had no expectations of each other. She was probably just Jeff’s latest conquest and he … well … he was her rebound. No relationship, no worries. So Angel was somewhat taken aback when Jeff asked her to visit him on his vacation.
“You want me to what?”
“Visit me. In North Carolina. I’ve got some time off coming to me and I’m going home for a bit. I want you to come.”
“Jeff …”
“Don’t answer yet. Just think about it. No pressure, Angel. I just like you and want to see you again.”
“Jeff, look, I’m just coming off a really bad relationship and I don’t want to get involved with anyone right now.”
“Angel, if you’re saying that because you don’t want to see me again, that’s cool, but if you’re saying that because you’re relationship-phobic, uhm, seriously, it’s cool, because I am too. I don’t want to get involved right now either. I just think it would be fun. And I know it’s kind of forward of me to ask, but I figured what the hell, you know?”
She smiled at him and shook her head. “You are one bold fellow.”
Jeff laughed. “So just think about it, okay? That’s all I’m asking.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Allright.”
“Allright.” Jeff smiled at her as if she knew she’d be accepting his offer. She wasn’t as sure as he seemed to be that this was a good idea, but she was also not entirely sure she’d be able to turn him down, either. [those slash-burns are pretty mesmerizing]
----
As Angel set up the infirmary that night, she tried to focus on the task at hand instead of letting her mind drift to Jeff’s invitation. She was so lost in thought that she barely noticed Dustin standing in the doorway.
“Hey,” he said, “I startle you?”
“Oh, hey Dustin. Sorry, I was just lost in thought.”
“You got a minute, Angel?”
“Uhm, I don’t know.”
“The card doesn’t start for two hours.” [then what are you doing there?]
“Well there’s a lot more setting up to do.”
“Angel? Are you mad at me?”
She put down the box of gauze she had been aimlessly relocating and sighed. [Good ol’ gauze. Can’t have an infirmary without it.] “No, Dustin, I’m not mad at you. I’m just avoiding the conversation I know you’re trying to start with me.”
“How much longer do you want to avoid it? I can come back,” he said with mock seriousness. She laughed reluctantly.
“Allright.” She sat on a cot and he took a folding chair. “So how was your honeymoon?”
“Great. Beautiful. Three weeks ago.”
“Sounds nice. Except for that last part.”
“What happened, Angel?” [on the honeymoon? Weren’t you there? Oh. Wait. He’s talking about Angel’s life. Of course. How silly of me.]
She set her gaze to a remote corner of the room and exhaled. “Chris and I broke up.”
“Why? Was it because of …”
“It was because he ran into his ex-girlfriend and slept with her.” [uhm, I think there was something that happened before that event, but hey, let’s go with it]
“Oh. Wow[lions]. Man, I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, well. Those are the breaks, huh?”
“Angel …”
“I’m fine, Dustin. Really.”
“Angel, you can’t be fine.”
“Allright, well, I’m not fine per se, but I’m dealing.”
“With Jeff Hardy?”
“Yes. Ok? Yes. I’ve got my eyes open on this, Dustin. Jeff can’t hurt me. We’re just hanging out and having fun and it’s nothing even remotely serious. And look, I’m sorry I snapped at you before, because I know you’re just looking out for me, but I’m good, OK?”
“Ok Angel. I just worry about you. And I want you to be OK.”
“I know, Dustin.” She gave him a tight hug. “So look … isn’t it about time I meet Alex while she’s not in a big poufy dress? We should grab dinner one of these nights, the three of us.” [so I’m guessing that Angel just assumes Dustin has not manned up about his lip-tryst with Angel, otherwise why the hell would she suggest such a meeting?]
“That would be good. But her sister is having a baby and it’s been a rough pregnancy. The due date is soon and Alex has been spending a lot of time over there.”
“Oh … well, I sure hope everything is OK.”
“Yeah. I’m sure everything will be fine. Maybe you two can meet at the Halloween party.”
“That’s like, almost two months from now.”
“I know, but I’m so psyched already.”
Angel giggled. “Always good to have something to look forward to.”
“Yeah, well with Tahiti behind me, I’ve got to be excited about something ahead of me.” [how about years of wedded bliss? Or further delightful folding-chair conversation with the blondest, beautifullest woman ever?]
“Tell me about Tahiti.”
“It was so insanely beautiful … just so … not here. You know?”
“Not where? Baltimore?”
“Yes. No. Yes. Not anywhere familiar. We travel all over, you know? But we never go anywhere. It was nice to just get away.”
“I’m officially jealous.”
“You should be,” he said with a grin.
“Allright, Dustin. I seriously do have to finish setting up here.” [gauze doesn’t unbox itself]
“Yeah, I’ve got to change anyway. Good catching up with you, Ang.”
“You too, Dustin. And thanks for looking out for me.”
“That’s what friends are for,” he said, leaving her office.
Tahiti, thought Angel. Wouldn’t it be amazing to get away from everyone she knew, even if it was just for a few days? Even if it wasn’t Tahiti, but just North Carolina?
She dialed Jeff’s number.
NOTES:
1) Angel is correct. North Carolina is most assuredly not Tahiti. Case in point: today’s temperature in Tahiti: 83. North Carolina? 25. Ugg.
2) How many of you thought for a second that Angel was not going to call Jeff? No hands? Really? Not one?
ALLLLLLRIGHTY then. Coming up next …
Ladies and gents, there’s a 100% Angel-free chapter up next! Woo-hoo! Tune in next time for a semi-interesting conversation between Chris and Justina! There will be mildly witty dialogue and evidence of my disinterest in US geography. See you then for …
Chapter 60: Passenger
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