Welcome back to another action-packed chapter of the life and times of the world's least interesting protagonist. Hold on to your red bell peppers, it's ...
Chapter 3: Sting’s Party
Although Angelica hardly ever fussed about what to wear [which nurse’s uniform is a purer white?], she found herself doing just that now. She had never been on the cutting edge of fashion, she always just bought comfortable clothes she thought looked nice on her. [what an iconoclast]
She finally settled on an apricot tee-shirt with a slight v-neck, and black denim shorts. She tucked the shirt into the shorts and puffed it out. She left on her pair of white open toe sandals and tied her hair into a French braid. [HAWT]
She seldom wore makeup, but when she was little, she had to wear nail polish to stop her from biting her fingernails. Even though she was completely over that habit, Angel still liked to paint her fingernails, and sometimes her toenails too. She removed all of the neon–green nailpolish she had applied on her fingernails and put on some clear. After a final check in her half-length mirror, she was ready to go. [woman, a full-length mirror would have perhaps convinced you to change your shoes, at the very least]
When she arrived at the party, the music was on loud. She wrinkled her nose in distaste. She didn’t like modern music at all [autobiography, here we go]. Doo-wop was her thing. She’d take the Mello-Kings or the Passions over the Red Hot Something Peppers or that guy, Iced Tea, or Lemonade, or whoever.
Sting answered the doorbell. When she looked in she recognized a few faces. Dustin Rhodes, Missy Hyatt, Marc Bagwell, and Ron Simmons. Oh, there was 2 Cold Scorpio!
“Hi Sting!” she said, handing him a box and hugging him.
“Hi Angel. Glad you could make it! What’s in the box?” he inquired, shaking it.
“Chocolate chip cookies. Hope you don’t mind. I baked them this afternoon.”
“Thanks a lot. I’m sure they’re delicious.” He said happily. “You know, I can’t remember the last time I had a home made chocolate chip cookie” [me either. Mmm.]
He led her into the party and introduced her to the people she didn’t know. The last people they came to were Rick and Scott, the Steiner Brothers.
“Rick, Scott, I’d like you to meet a friend of mine, Angelica Kerris, and if you’ll excuse me, the chips need refilling. See ya later.”
“So, Angelica, what do you do in the WCW?” asked Scott.
“I’m a first-aid nurse. I used to work in the WWF, but, uh …. I ran into some …. uh, problems.”
“Got a nickname, Angelica?”
“Angel.”
“Can I call you Angie?” asked Rick.
“Sure.” She said smiling. She looked at them both. She had seen them before, in pictures and on TV, but in person, they were incredible. Scot was tall and very muscular. He had shoulder length brown hair and brown eyes. His older brother, Rick, was a little bit shorter and stouter. He had brown eyes and short brown hair. He had a moustache that extended down to the base of his chin. They were both clad and T-shirts and jeans, but Rick was also wearing one of those headbands that had springy antennae on them. [oh, what a nut!]. Both seemed nice.
Scott thought that Angelica, no, he’d call her Ang, was very pretty, Nice figure, gorgeous blue eyes, beautiful blonde hair. If he didn’t already have a girlfriend …… stop thinking that, Scott, he told himself. Do you want this thing to work out with Marie or not?
Unlike Scott, Rick took his first impressions of people from their personalities. Rick thought that Angie was pretty friendly, although she was a bit … normal. Wait a minute … scratch that …
“Hey, great toenail polish.” He said sincerely.
Quickly, Angel looked down at her feet. She was still wearing her neon green toenail polish! [OMG! party fowl!]
“Oh … uh, thanks. I didn’t quite plan to be wearing it, but thanks anyway.”
“Hey, it’s you, Angie.” He said, laughing.
Scott rolled his eyes. “I’ll see you guys around later.” He said.
“Where ya goin’ Scotty?” asked Rick.
“I’m just gonna mingle for a while” he said, walking away.
“Hey, here comes Dustin!”
Dustin Rhodes walked up to both of them. His blonde hair was combed back. His blue eyes glittered. Jeans and a T-shirt covered his muscular, yet lanky figure.
“Hey Rick, hey Angel.” He gave Rick a quick hug and bent over and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Rick raised his eyebrows. Angel elbowed him and giggled. “I see you two have met.”
“Yeah. Hey, Sorry to cut this conversation short, but I’m gonna find Scott. Catch you guys later.”
“Bye!” said Angel. It was amazing. She had just met him about ten minutes ago and she already felt like an old friend. [huh?]
“Angel, can we go and talk somewhere?”
“Sure, Dustin, is everything ok?”
“Well, not really.” [uh oh … I smell something that rhymes with flegregious flying] They both walked to a couch in a corner away from the loud noise of the party. “You see, I’ve gotta talk about it to someone, or I feel like I’m going to explode. You understand?” They sat down.
“I’ve got the same feelings. So what’s wrong?”
“Well,” he said with a sigh, “You probably know by now that Barry [that’s his tag team partner, Barry Windham] and I have been going through some rough times. We’ve had our share of fights before, and some of them were pretty bad, but we always seemed to bounce back from them. This time, though, we’re not bouncing very well. The fights just get worse and worse. We can hardly look at e ach other without one of us starting something up. It hasn’t gotten physical, but I’m really afraid that one day it might. Barry and I were closer than brothers. I don’t’ want to see our friendship end like this. to think of all the good times we’ve had …” he looked off and his eyes clouded with tears. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Said Angel, putting her hand on his shoulder. “Dustin, your friendship with Barry isn’t over. Something is bound to happen to change things.” She said softly.
“You’re right, Angel, I just hope that that something isn’t bad.” He hugged her and thanked her, and then went off to see if Scorpio wanted to give him that dance lesson he had promised now [good golly]. Somehow, Angel just couldn’t picture Dustin dancing like 2 Cold Scorpio.
Meanwhile, Rick had finally caught up with Scotty. He was in the kitchen, on the telephone. Rick caught up the tail end of their conversation.
“Marie … Marie, stop it! You know how I …. Fine then! Allright … me too … OK bye.”
“You guys get into another fight?” Asked Rick, spring antennae bobbing.
“Yeah” Scott said shaking his head and exhaling in disgust. “I just called her to ask her what time to pick her up and we got into that!”
“What do you mean? What were you two fighting about?”
“Oh nothing that big,” he said quickly.
Angel decided to check out the munchies. She grabbed a red bell pepper stick. They were her favorite veggie. Oh wait, they had seeds. They were a fruit. While she thought about it, Missy Hyatt came up to the table to grab some Chips.
“Hi Missy.” Angel said.
“Oh … hi.” Said an unethused and frosty-sounding Missy Hyatt. She quickly moved away from Angel. Geez! What’s with her? She thought. Marcus was walking towards her.
“Hey, Angel. Come here often?” asked Marc in his rich, melodious voice. She was so beautiful, especially tonight. Her outfit hugged every curve [?!? She’s wearing a t-shirt tucked into black denim shorts!]. Her long legs tapered into white sandals and …
“Hey … nice toenail polish” he said sarcastically.
“Thanks” she said sourly. She looked down at her watch and frowned. “Sorry to cut this short, Marc, but Bill Watts wants me at the Missouri Omni by 7:00 and if I’m gonna make it there, I’d better leave now.”
“Wait—before you go. There’s something I’ve got to give you.”
He drew her near to him and kissed her passionately.
“Bye.” He said.
“See you later!” said Angel. That was one of the most incredible moments of my life, thought Angel as she said goodbye to everyone. Marcus prayed that Missy didn’t see that. She’d kill him! [dunt dunt DUNNNN!]
NOTES:
1) when will Angel stop marveling over the fact that the wrestlers she meets are muscular? They’re EFFING WRESTLERS.
2) Scott has a girlfriend named Marie … hmm … where have we read that name before? Look out, Scott!
3) What kind of a craptacular party was this? There are chips, cookies, and red bell peppers, but no booze. Also, it’s in full swing well before 7 PM? This sounds like a birthday party for … wait for it … a middle schooler. I was so lame that I couldn’t even imagine parties cooler than the ones I’d been to in seventh grade. Actually, now that I think about it, I got invited to some rockin’ bar mitzvahs that put Sting’s fete to shame. Shout out to Adam Glassman … yours was the best. Here’s to hoping that your name is common enough that no one googles you and comes across this page. Potential employers of Adam Glassman, please know that he’s the smartest person I’ve ever met, and you should totally hire him even though he invited the author of this pabulum to his bar mitzvah.
COMING UP NEXT: Angel and Bobby have a hideously boring conversation in which we learn more of her fascinating backstory and she rewrites history a little bit. Dustin treats us to an extended monologue in which he discusses the details of his troubles with Barry. Odds of him holding himself together enough to manage not to cry: 0 to 1. Join us next time for …. Chapter 4: The Omni
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Chapter 2: New Friends, New Enemies
I know you’ve all been lying awake at night, minds reeling as you contemplated the life and times of Angel. Well rest easy, friends. My job takes a back seat to …
Chapter 2: New Friends, New Enemies
In her first two weeks at WCW, she had made many friends, as well as a few enemies. Well, not exactly enemies, just people she didn’t quite hit it off with. Barry Windham was one of those people. She guessed that after he had seen her chatting and laughing with Dustin Rhodes, whom he hadn’t been happy with latterly, he branded her by association. She liked Dustin. He was very personable and had a great sense of humor. (he was pretty good looking too!) But she didn’t like him that way. Not really. She had her heart set on Marc Bagwell. Marc was all she had ever hoped for in a man. He was gorgeous, smart, funny, and above all, nice. To Angel, a guy could be the smartest, most handsome comedian on Earth, but if he wasn’t nice, then some other fickle girl could have him. From what she knew, Marcus Alexander Bagwell was nice, honest, compassionate, and drop-dead gorgeous. Okay, so maybe looks did matter a little. But how could any girl refuse those deep pools of brown eyes, that soft brown hair, that fabulous smile, or that terrific muscular body? And best of all, he seemed to like her too. Her other friends in WCW included Madusa Miceli, Bobby Eaton, Sting, and a friend just made recently [was he sculpted out of play-doh?], 2 Cold Scorpio.
She didn’t really get along with Paul Orndorf, Rick Rude, Paul E. Dangerously (all 3 of them were too obnoxious for her) and for some reason, Missy Hyatt just hated her. Angel didn’t really mind that. She thought Missy was an Airhead.
Madusa really became the first girl friend she’d had since she entered wrestling. She had always been surrounded by Men. Sherri had always had ill-tempered mood swings. She had always DESPISED Ms. Elizabeth [really???]. Angel couldn’t remember the last time she had just sat and had some girl talk. She liked Madusa. Angel thought that Madusa was intelligent, nice, and witty. A real breath of fresh air compared to the sometimes stuffy personalities she found in wrestlers [I distinctly remember being proud of that sentence. Wtf does that even mean?]
Bobby Eaton’s personality was so different from his friends. Rick was loud and obnoxious. Van Vader was just plain loud. Arn Anderson didn’t seem to trust her, and Paul was lewd and childish. [they sound like way more fun than any of the drips Angel hangs out with] Bobby, on the other hand, was very quiet and always nice to her. Basically, he was very agreeable, but awfully reserved. She liked him a lot. He was a good friend. His shoulder-length hair was dyed blond and he had dark blue eyes. His best friend Arn seemed to think that there was something between Angel and Bobby besides friendship, but she knew that he was happily married and really didn’t like him like that anyway.
Sting was wild and fun. He loved surfing, outdoor sports [as opposed to foosball?], and parties, in fact, he was throwing a party at his beach house this weekend. He had invited her and all of his friends from WCW, including the Steiner brothers, who had just moved to WWF.
She and 2 Cold Scorpio became friends after Marcus, who was best friends with Scorpio, introduced them. [take a deep breath, folks.] Scorpio had a great sense of humor, a flair for dancing, and street smarts. He never beat around the bush and always had good advice. He was really down to earth and always knew what was going on at all times. He looked an awful lot like Martin Lawrence [he totally does]. Wherever Angel went, she made friends quickly. She didn’t know what she would do without her friends [uhm, in the case of all her BFFs from WWF, totally forget them], and tonight, at Sting’s party, she would have the opportunity to make new ones.
1) The phrase “deep pools of brown eyes” is really kind of gross. I just imagine a vat of eyeballs.
2) Sorry again about 2 Cold Scorpio. In my defense, that was the way his character was portrayed. So first blame the WCW marketing team, then blame me.
Well … now that we have some exciting background information, it’s time to meet a whole ‘nother bunch of new characters! Here is where stuff starts getting good (and by good, I of course mean just terrible) … we get to meet Dustin Rhodes, an effusive hugger, and Rick and Scott Steiner … one of whom is an irrepressible goofball and the other of whom is … oh shoot, you’ll find out soon. I ain’t spoiling one of the stupidest storylines I’ve ever written. BONUS: egregious crying. Yes. At a party. SUPER BONUS: detailed description of the outfit Angel wears to the party. Tune in next time for … Chapter 3: Sting’s Party.
Chapter 2: New Friends, New Enemies
In her first two weeks at WCW, she had made many friends, as well as a few enemies. Well, not exactly enemies, just people she didn’t quite hit it off with. Barry Windham was one of those people. She guessed that after he had seen her chatting and laughing with Dustin Rhodes, whom he hadn’t been happy with latterly, he branded her by association. She liked Dustin. He was very personable and had a great sense of humor. (he was pretty good looking too!) But she didn’t like him that way. Not really. She had her heart set on Marc Bagwell. Marc was all she had ever hoped for in a man. He was gorgeous, smart, funny, and above all, nice. To Angel, a guy could be the smartest, most handsome comedian on Earth, but if he wasn’t nice, then some other fickle girl could have him. From what she knew, Marcus Alexander Bagwell was nice, honest, compassionate, and drop-dead gorgeous. Okay, so maybe looks did matter a little. But how could any girl refuse those deep pools of brown eyes, that soft brown hair, that fabulous smile, or that terrific muscular body? And best of all, he seemed to like her too. Her other friends in WCW included Madusa Miceli, Bobby Eaton, Sting, and a friend just made recently [was he sculpted out of play-doh?], 2 Cold Scorpio.
She didn’t really get along with Paul Orndorf, Rick Rude, Paul E. Dangerously (all 3 of them were too obnoxious for her) and for some reason, Missy Hyatt just hated her. Angel didn’t really mind that. She thought Missy was an Airhead.
Madusa really became the first girl friend she’d had since she entered wrestling. She had always been surrounded by Men. Sherri had always had ill-tempered mood swings. She had always DESPISED Ms. Elizabeth [really???]. Angel couldn’t remember the last time she had just sat and had some girl talk. She liked Madusa. Angel thought that Madusa was intelligent, nice, and witty. A real breath of fresh air compared to the sometimes stuffy personalities she found in wrestlers [I distinctly remember being proud of that sentence. Wtf does that even mean?]
Bobby Eaton’s personality was so different from his friends. Rick was loud and obnoxious. Van Vader was just plain loud. Arn Anderson didn’t seem to trust her, and Paul was lewd and childish. [they sound like way more fun than any of the drips Angel hangs out with] Bobby, on the other hand, was very quiet and always nice to her. Basically, he was very agreeable, but awfully reserved. She liked him a lot. He was a good friend. His shoulder-length hair was dyed blond and he had dark blue eyes. His best friend Arn seemed to think that there was something between Angel and Bobby besides friendship, but she knew that he was happily married and really didn’t like him like that anyway.
Sting was wild and fun. He loved surfing, outdoor sports [as opposed to foosball?], and parties, in fact, he was throwing a party at his beach house this weekend. He had invited her and all of his friends from WCW, including the Steiner brothers, who had just moved to WWF.
She and 2 Cold Scorpio became friends after Marcus, who was best friends with Scorpio, introduced them. [take a deep breath, folks.] Scorpio had a great sense of humor, a flair for dancing, and street smarts. He never beat around the bush and always had good advice. He was really down to earth and always knew what was going on at all times. He looked an awful lot like Martin Lawrence [he totally does]. Wherever Angel went, she made friends quickly. She didn’t know what she would do without her friends [uhm, in the case of all her BFFs from WWF, totally forget them], and tonight, at Sting’s party, she would have the opportunity to make new ones.
1) The phrase “deep pools of brown eyes” is really kind of gross. I just imagine a vat of eyeballs.
2) Sorry again about 2 Cold Scorpio. In my defense, that was the way his character was portrayed. So first blame the WCW marketing team, then blame me.
Well … now that we have some exciting background information, it’s time to meet a whole ‘nother bunch of new characters! Here is where stuff starts getting good (and by good, I of course mean just terrible) … we get to meet Dustin Rhodes, an effusive hugger, and Rick and Scott Steiner … one of whom is an irrepressible goofball and the other of whom is … oh shoot, you’ll find out soon. I ain’t spoiling one of the stupidest storylines I’ve ever written. BONUS: egregious crying. Yes. At a party. SUPER BONUS: detailed description of the outfit Angel wears to the party. Tune in next time for … Chapter 3: Sting’s Party.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
quick note
Hi all,
Sorry for the lack of updates lately. I've been completely swamped on the job front. UnabashedlyBad will be back in action soon!
For now, please enjoy this Mr. Perfect tribute video. RIP, Curt. You'll always be my favorite wrestler.
-F.O.
Sorry for the lack of updates lately. I've been completely swamped on the job front. UnabashedlyBad will be back in action soon!
For now, please enjoy this Mr. Perfect tribute video. RIP, Curt. You'll always be my favorite wrestler.
-F.O.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Chapter 1: Introductions
Well, I can tell by both the handwriting and the wrestling references that time has passed. I’m going to guess that I was 13-14 when I wrote most of these stories, but I didn’t start putting dates next to them until the next marble notebook. Anyhoo, in my advanced age, I decided that calling my heroine “Anjel” was too immature. I figured that Charlotte Theodosia must be a WWF stage name, and that her real name was Angelica Kerris. Never fear, this wasn’t a signal that I was going to start writing compelling prose. It’s all still dreck. Drecky, drecky dreck.
Chapter 1: Introductions
“Allright Ms. Kerris here is your 4 year contract as a fist-aid Nurse to WCW.”
Angelica signed it.
“Congratulations, Ms. Kerris.” Said Ole Anderson
“Thank you, Mr. Watts, Mr. Anderson/”
“You begin tomorrow at 9:00 AM. Bill will show you around the building you’ll be in – the Columbus Areana.” continued Ole.
When they arrived at the areana, Bill Watts showed her her office and where all of the medical supplies were located. He the led her around the rest of the building and to where all of the exits were. [safety first!]
“Now I believe some of the wrestlers are already here—why don’t we go and meet them?” Asked Bill Watts. [what are they doing at an empty arena? And what is Angel going to do when she gets there tomorrow at 9 AM? I’ve been to plenty of wrestling cards, and they pretty much all start at night]
Mr. Watts led her to the “Face” dressing room. The Columbus Arena was small, so all of the “good guys” shared a dressing room, and all of the “bad guys” shared another. [ooh, I’m getting closer to a realistic portrayal of dressing rooms.]
Mr. Watts knocked on the door. Angelica smoothed her pure white nurse’s outfit. “Everybody I’d like you to meet WCW’s new nurse, Ms. Angelica Kerris.”
“Well, Mr. Watts, everybody is just me.” Said a male voice with a Georgian accent. [Ang just can’t get away from those Georgia peaches]. Out of the dressing room stepped a man with brown hair. ??He was wearing a tee-shirt and jeans. He offered his hand to Angelica.
“Nice to meet you” said Angelica gazing into his deep pools of brown eyes [eew?]. He was gorgeous. A living dream.
“Likewise. My name is Marcus Alexander Bagwell. My friends call me Marc.”
“I’m Angelica, but my nickname is Angel.”
“By the looks of you, the name fits.” [hurl!]
She blushed. They stared at each other for a few more seconds. Then they both looked away, embarrassed that Bill Watts was looking on. “See you around Angel.” “You too Marc.”
They left the Dressing Room and headed for the “heel” Dressing Room.
“Don’t expect the same respect from this bunch.” Mr. Watts said and knocked on the door.
“C’mon in, make it quick” called a male voice with a deep, gravely sound. In the room, Mr. Watts introduced Rick Rude, Bobby Eaton, Arn Anderson, and Leon White (aka Big Van Vader).
“Hey guys, check it out!” Said the gravely voice, belonging to Big Van Vader. He whistled.
“Hey Leon, whatsa matter, never seen a lady before?” said Rick Rude.
“Probably not.” Laughed Arn.
“Shut up!” grunted Vader.
“Okay, all of you, calm down. This is Angelica Kerris, WCW’s new nurse.” Said Bill Watts.
“Well, Well. Ms. Kerris, I do believe you’ll be seeing many of my opponents in your infirmary, even though I’m sure you’d rather see more of me.” Said Rick Rude, kissing the air.
Vader and Arn laughed. Rick, Vader and Arn all left the dressing room. Bobby rose and said: “Welcome to WCW, Ms. Kerris. Don’t mind my friends, they’re always like that.” he smiled a little and offered her his hand. “I’m Bobby Eaton.”
“Nice to meet you, Bobby.”
“Nice to meet you too, now if you’ll excuse me I have to go join my friends.” He left and so did Bill and Angel. “He seems nice.” Angel said, Bill Watts said nothing. Bill left Angel in her office to prepare for the upcoming card. Meanwhile Bobby had caught up with Rick, Leon, and his best friend, Arn in the halls.
“Hey Bob.” Greeted Arn.
“Hey.” He said back. [good GOLLY this is going slowly. Why was I so obsessed with documenting every nicety?]
“So were you flirting with the nurse, or just sucking up to the V.P.?” teased Leon.
“Hey, Hey, Hey! Now Leon, we all know Bobby isn’t that type of guy. He was definitely hitting on her!” joked Rick.
“I was just trying to make a friend.” He said glaring at them both. “Good friends are hard to find around here” [BURN!] he said and walked away. Arn walked after him.
“Hey Bobby, lighten up. They were only joking around. Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little?” said Arn.
Bobby looked down and sighed. “I guess I am. It’s just that those guys make me so mad sometimes I could just spit nails.”
“Yeah those guys get to me too sometimes. Hey, what did go on between you and that nurse?”
“All I did was say that it was nice to meet her and I introduced myself. I don’t believe you’d actually ask me that. I expected you of all people to understand that I love my wife and wouldn’t even think of glancing at another woman like that.”
“Sorry.” Said Arn. In truth, Arn was shocked that Bobby had said that much. Bobby was a man of few words. Hey, let’s get to the gym, we’ve got to train for our match tonight.” Bobby nodded and they continued down the hall.
Bobby’s friendship with Angelica would prove to be one of the best he’d ever had. She stuck by him when things with Arn weren’t going so smoothly…….
Coming up next: Chapter 2: New Friends, New Enemies, in which Angel meets a bunch more people, most of whom you’ll never see again. Bonus: an African-American character with “street smarts” … I’m so, so, sorry, world.
Notes:
1) Y’all, Marcus Alexander Bagwell was totally a hottie back in the day.
2) Ok, Bobby Eaton. I think I can explain this one. I didn’t think he was hot, and he wasn’t a particularly exciting wrestler to watch. I was just fixated on him for a while because I read an interview in a wrestling magazine where he was described as “a man of few words.” He was indeed particularly taciturn in the interview. And that to me seemed endlessly fascinating for whatever reason. Interesting side note: I totally dated a couple guys just because I thought that because they were quiet, they were interesting. In actuality, they were either completely boring or completely crazy.
3) I know that was kind of dull. It gets better. I promise.
Chapter 1: Introductions
“Allright Ms. Kerris here is your 4 year contract as a fist-aid Nurse to WCW.”
Angelica signed it.
“Congratulations, Ms. Kerris.” Said Ole Anderson
“Thank you, Mr. Watts, Mr. Anderson/”
“You begin tomorrow at 9:00 AM. Bill will show you around the building you’ll be in – the Columbus Areana.” continued Ole.
When they arrived at the areana, Bill Watts showed her her office and where all of the medical supplies were located. He the led her around the rest of the building and to where all of the exits were. [safety first!]
“Now I believe some of the wrestlers are already here—why don’t we go and meet them?” Asked Bill Watts. [what are they doing at an empty arena? And what is Angel going to do when she gets there tomorrow at 9 AM? I’ve been to plenty of wrestling cards, and they pretty much all start at night]
Mr. Watts led her to the “Face” dressing room. The Columbus Arena was small, so all of the “good guys” shared a dressing room, and all of the “bad guys” shared another. [ooh, I’m getting closer to a realistic portrayal of dressing rooms.]
Mr. Watts knocked on the door. Angelica smoothed her pure white nurse’s outfit. “Everybody I’d like you to meet WCW’s new nurse, Ms. Angelica Kerris.”
“Well, Mr. Watts, everybody is just me.” Said a male voice with a Georgian accent. [Ang just can’t get away from those Georgia peaches]. Out of the dressing room stepped a man with brown hair. ??He was wearing a tee-shirt and jeans. He offered his hand to Angelica.
“Nice to meet you” said Angelica gazing into his deep pools of brown eyes [eew?]. He was gorgeous. A living dream.
“Likewise. My name is Marcus Alexander Bagwell. My friends call me Marc.”
“I’m Angelica, but my nickname is Angel.”
“By the looks of you, the name fits.” [hurl!]
She blushed. They stared at each other for a few more seconds. Then they both looked away, embarrassed that Bill Watts was looking on. “See you around Angel.” “You too Marc.”
They left the Dressing Room and headed for the “heel” Dressing Room.
“Don’t expect the same respect from this bunch.” Mr. Watts said and knocked on the door.
“C’mon in, make it quick” called a male voice with a deep, gravely sound. In the room, Mr. Watts introduced Rick Rude, Bobby Eaton, Arn Anderson, and Leon White (aka Big Van Vader).
“Hey guys, check it out!” Said the gravely voice, belonging to Big Van Vader. He whistled.
“Hey Leon, whatsa matter, never seen a lady before?” said Rick Rude.
“Probably not.” Laughed Arn.
“Shut up!” grunted Vader.
“Okay, all of you, calm down. This is Angelica Kerris, WCW’s new nurse.” Said Bill Watts.
“Well, Well. Ms. Kerris, I do believe you’ll be seeing many of my opponents in your infirmary, even though I’m sure you’d rather see more of me.” Said Rick Rude, kissing the air.
Vader and Arn laughed. Rick, Vader and Arn all left the dressing room. Bobby rose and said: “Welcome to WCW, Ms. Kerris. Don’t mind my friends, they’re always like that.” he smiled a little and offered her his hand. “I’m Bobby Eaton.”
“Nice to meet you, Bobby.”
“Nice to meet you too, now if you’ll excuse me I have to go join my friends.” He left and so did Bill and Angel. “He seems nice.” Angel said, Bill Watts said nothing. Bill left Angel in her office to prepare for the upcoming card. Meanwhile Bobby had caught up with Rick, Leon, and his best friend, Arn in the halls.
“Hey Bob.” Greeted Arn.
“Hey.” He said back. [good GOLLY this is going slowly. Why was I so obsessed with documenting every nicety?]
“So were you flirting with the nurse, or just sucking up to the V.P.?” teased Leon.
“Hey, Hey, Hey! Now Leon, we all know Bobby isn’t that type of guy. He was definitely hitting on her!” joked Rick.
“I was just trying to make a friend.” He said glaring at them both. “Good friends are hard to find around here” [BURN!] he said and walked away. Arn walked after him.
“Hey Bobby, lighten up. They were only joking around. Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little?” said Arn.
Bobby looked down and sighed. “I guess I am. It’s just that those guys make me so mad sometimes I could just spit nails.”
“Yeah those guys get to me too sometimes. Hey, what did go on between you and that nurse?”
“All I did was say that it was nice to meet her and I introduced myself. I don’t believe you’d actually ask me that. I expected you of all people to understand that I love my wife and wouldn’t even think of glancing at another woman like that.”
“Sorry.” Said Arn. In truth, Arn was shocked that Bobby had said that much. Bobby was a man of few words. Hey, let’s get to the gym, we’ve got to train for our match tonight.” Bobby nodded and they continued down the hall.
Bobby’s friendship with Angelica would prove to be one of the best he’d ever had. She stuck by him when things with Arn weren’t going so smoothly…….
Coming up next: Chapter 2: New Friends, New Enemies, in which Angel meets a bunch more people, most of whom you’ll never see again. Bonus: an African-American character with “street smarts” … I’m so, so, sorry, world.
Notes:
1) Y’all, Marcus Alexander Bagwell was totally a hottie back in the day.
2) Ok, Bobby Eaton. I think I can explain this one. I didn’t think he was hot, and he wasn’t a particularly exciting wrestler to watch. I was just fixated on him for a while because I read an interview in a wrestling magazine where he was described as “a man of few words.” He was indeed particularly taciturn in the interview. And that to me seemed endlessly fascinating for whatever reason. Interesting side note: I totally dated a couple guys just because I thought that because they were quiet, they were interesting. In actuality, they were either completely boring or completely crazy.
3) I know that was kind of dull. It gets better. I promise.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Chapter 14: A Turn of Events
Just in case it’s not painfully obvious, I was pretty sick of Marty. Here is his swan song. It’s a particularly inelegant sendoff. But not quite as inelegant as Bru’s.
Chapter 14: A Turn of Events
Marty had not come home last night. Anjel sat in her room in a hotel in Maine, worrying when he finally came home at 7:00 AM he fell fast asleep on his couch. She walked through his open door she nearly tripped over a briefcase she picked it up and it fell open a piece of U.S.A. Wrestle World. [woah run on sentence] It was a very respectable magazine. She opened it and read it while walking back to her room. It was about Marty Jannetty who had just arrived in the USWF! He had a scantily clad manager named Magnificent Marie. There was a picture of Marty and Marie in a liplock. Marie had long flowing black hair that fell to her waist [sound familiar?]. Anjel also read that Marty, when asked about former manager and perhaps even lover, he said “Anjel? Sure we had something—for maybe 5 seconds. Just another pretty face. Dumb Blonde. Now Marie …”
DUMB BLONDE!! She began to cry, which she hardly ever did. [?!?!] She loved him and she was just another pretty face. She cried harder than she had ever cried before. Her phone rang. Mr. Perfect heard the phone. He knocked on her door and opened it when there was no answer. He saw her crying.
“Anjel, honey, what’s wrong?” she handed him the clipping, minus the photo, and he hugged her tightly after reading it. Brutus heard the commotion and came in.
“Oh my gosh, what happened?” Anjel handed him the magazine clipping. He touched her on her shoulder and said “Don’t worry I’ll go talk to him.” He went into Marty’s dressing room and woke him from his sleep.
“Whaaaaa? Brutus? Go away! I’m sleeping.” He said in a murmur.
Brutus flicked the lights on and shoved the article in his face. “What the heck do you think you were doing?” he said [woah awkward verb tenses]
“Oh, this? Well it’s all true. I don’t need her. I’m officially leaving on Tuesday.” He said rubbing his eyes.
“You scum! She saved your life! How could you just toss her aside?”
“It’s a free country!” [touché] he said, now awake. “Now, Please, get out.”
Brutus shook his head in disgust. He left the room and went into Anjel’s room.
“Look Anjel, I know that this is not the best time to tell you this, but I’m moving back to San Francisco.” Said Brutus. “I’ll write. I promise you. My plane leaves in ½ an hour. I’ll miss you so much.” He said and kissed her goodbye. He left before he could cry in front of Mr. Perfect [hallelujah]
“The nerve of that guy! You think he’d tell you in advance! How could he drop a bombshell on you with that kind of impact. Especially now.” said Mr. Perfect
Anjel sobbed “My whole life is falling apart.”
Mr. Perfect squoze her tightly. “Don’t worry, Anjel. Everything will turn out OK. Every thing is going to be OK” he soothed. “Look, I know how you feel. When Nightshade left me, I thought things could not get any worse, but now with Bobby and Ric Hating my guts, I guess they did. [now there are some words of encouragement]. But, Anjel, I want you to remember one thing no matter how bad things get for either of us (pause) I’ll always love you.” [somebody cue Whitney Houston]
She locked eyes with him and replied, in a quavering voice “I’ll always love you, too. Forever.” She swallowed and said “Thank you so much. You don’t know how much better you made me feel by saying that.” They just kind of sat like that for a while, with Mr. Perfect’s arms around Anjel’s shoulders. He did not want to leave her until he was sure she would be OK. Finally after along time spent talking softly to one another about things like their childhood, their parents, ad their homes, anything to keep Anjel’s mind off of Current times Anjel fell asleep on Mr. Perfect’s shoulder. Being tired himself, he gently laid her down on the couch and spread a blanket over her, trying hard not to awake her [or the readers. Zzzz]
Anjel awoke around 11:00 AM next morning. Painful memories of the night before came back. She showered and changed her clothes.
The next two weeks were hard. Anjel had never felt so alone in her life. Mr. Perfect was there for her, but ever since his split with Flair, he’d been obsessed with revenge. Anjel needed a job—badly. [what, no offers to be a doctor?] She had gone to countless job interviews, filled out infinate resumes until one day, she found a job. She was over-qualified for it and knew that it was something that she would enjoy doing. It was time to begin a new life. With her new career as a first aid Nurse for WCW.
THE END???
This is not the end. It is merely the beginning of a new life for Anjel, with new relationships, new enemies, and most importantly, new friends. Continued in BOOK 2 – Angelica’s New Life
NOTES:
1) Why is Marty carrying around magazine clippings in a briefcase? Wait, why does Marty even have a briefcase? He’s a professional wrestler, not an investment banker.
2) Man. Brutus has some timing in announcing his trip back to SF. I wonder if he’s trying to get me to write Reunited Part III.
3) So by this point in my career as a wrestling fan, I was starting to like WCW more than WWF. No, this has nothing to do with the Monday Night Wars or the Outsiders or any of the stuff that made WCW popular in the Nitro era. This was 1993. The Hollywood Blondes, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, 2 Cold Scorpio … why did I get so obsessed? No clue. But I did. And I decided that I needed to shake things up. So off to WCW goes our sparkling Mary Sue! But what horrible allergies and fonts of tears await her there? You’ll find out in … Chapter 1: Introductions. [Yes, I restarted the chapters. Hey, it's a free country!]
Chapter 14: A Turn of Events
Marty had not come home last night. Anjel sat in her room in a hotel in Maine, worrying when he finally came home at 7:00 AM he fell fast asleep on his couch. She walked through his open door she nearly tripped over a briefcase she picked it up and it fell open a piece of U.S.A. Wrestle World. [woah run on sentence] It was a very respectable magazine. She opened it and read it while walking back to her room. It was about Marty Jannetty who had just arrived in the USWF! He had a scantily clad manager named Magnificent Marie. There was a picture of Marty and Marie in a liplock. Marie had long flowing black hair that fell to her waist [sound familiar?]. Anjel also read that Marty, when asked about former manager and perhaps even lover, he said “Anjel? Sure we had something—for maybe 5 seconds. Just another pretty face. Dumb Blonde. Now Marie …”
DUMB BLONDE!! She began to cry, which she hardly ever did. [?!?!] She loved him and she was just another pretty face. She cried harder than she had ever cried before. Her phone rang. Mr. Perfect heard the phone. He knocked on her door and opened it when there was no answer. He saw her crying.
“Anjel, honey, what’s wrong?” she handed him the clipping, minus the photo, and he hugged her tightly after reading it. Brutus heard the commotion and came in.
“Oh my gosh, what happened?” Anjel handed him the magazine clipping. He touched her on her shoulder and said “Don’t worry I’ll go talk to him.” He went into Marty’s dressing room and woke him from his sleep.
“Whaaaaa? Brutus? Go away! I’m sleeping.” He said in a murmur.
Brutus flicked the lights on and shoved the article in his face. “What the heck do you think you were doing?” he said [woah awkward verb tenses]
“Oh, this? Well it’s all true. I don’t need her. I’m officially leaving on Tuesday.” He said rubbing his eyes.
“You scum! She saved your life! How could you just toss her aside?”
“It’s a free country!” [touché] he said, now awake. “Now, Please, get out.”
Brutus shook his head in disgust. He left the room and went into Anjel’s room.
“Look Anjel, I know that this is not the best time to tell you this, but I’m moving back to San Francisco.” Said Brutus. “I’ll write. I promise you. My plane leaves in ½ an hour. I’ll miss you so much.” He said and kissed her goodbye. He left before he could cry in front of Mr. Perfect [hallelujah]
“The nerve of that guy! You think he’d tell you in advance! How could he drop a bombshell on you with that kind of impact. Especially now.” said Mr. Perfect
Anjel sobbed “My whole life is falling apart.”
Mr. Perfect squoze her tightly. “Don’t worry, Anjel. Everything will turn out OK. Every thing is going to be OK” he soothed. “Look, I know how you feel. When Nightshade left me, I thought things could not get any worse, but now with Bobby and Ric Hating my guts, I guess they did. [now there are some words of encouragement]. But, Anjel, I want you to remember one thing no matter how bad things get for either of us (pause) I’ll always love you.” [somebody cue Whitney Houston]
She locked eyes with him and replied, in a quavering voice “I’ll always love you, too. Forever.” She swallowed and said “Thank you so much. You don’t know how much better you made me feel by saying that.” They just kind of sat like that for a while, with Mr. Perfect’s arms around Anjel’s shoulders. He did not want to leave her until he was sure she would be OK. Finally after along time spent talking softly to one another about things like their childhood, their parents, ad their homes, anything to keep Anjel’s mind off of Current times Anjel fell asleep on Mr. Perfect’s shoulder. Being tired himself, he gently laid her down on the couch and spread a blanket over her, trying hard not to awake her [or the readers. Zzzz]
Anjel awoke around 11:00 AM next morning. Painful memories of the night before came back. She showered and changed her clothes.
The next two weeks were hard. Anjel had never felt so alone in her life. Mr. Perfect was there for her, but ever since his split with Flair, he’d been obsessed with revenge. Anjel needed a job—badly. [what, no offers to be a doctor?] She had gone to countless job interviews, filled out infinate resumes until one day, she found a job. She was over-qualified for it and knew that it was something that she would enjoy doing. It was time to begin a new life. With her new career as a first aid Nurse for WCW.
THE END???
This is not the end. It is merely the beginning of a new life for Anjel, with new relationships, new enemies, and most importantly, new friends. Continued in BOOK 2 – Angelica’s New Life
NOTES:
1) Why is Marty carrying around magazine clippings in a briefcase? Wait, why does Marty even have a briefcase? He’s a professional wrestler, not an investment banker.
2) Man. Brutus has some timing in announcing his trip back to SF. I wonder if he’s trying to get me to write Reunited Part III.
3) So by this point in my career as a wrestling fan, I was starting to like WCW more than WWF. No, this has nothing to do with the Monday Night Wars or the Outsiders or any of the stuff that made WCW popular in the Nitro era. This was 1993. The Hollywood Blondes, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, 2 Cold Scorpio … why did I get so obsessed? No clue. But I did. And I decided that I needed to shake things up. So off to WCW goes our sparkling Mary Sue! But what horrible allergies and fonts of tears await her there? You’ll find out in … Chapter 1: Introductions. [Yes, I restarted the chapters. Hey, it's a free country!]
Friday, August 15, 2008
Bitter Words, Part II
Bitter Words, Part II
So I basically have two main tropes so far: allergies and crying. I have no idea why. At any rate, I present to you a thrilling sequel that features both!
Bitter Words, Part II:
3 days later
As Mr. Perfect sat in his room opening his mail he started to sneeze. He could hardly stop to take a breath. Fourtunately he sneezed very loudly and Anjel could hear him 2 doors down. She entered his room through his open door.
“My Gosh, I’ve never heard anyone sneeze so much! Are you OK?” she asked
He couldn’t say much. He just kept sneezing. She noticed a trace of perfume in the air and recognized it as her favorite, Tropical Mist. Wait a minute! It was coming from a note on the table. She picked it up and ran into the hall with it. She heard him stop sneezing and tore open the letter. A thought crossed her mind. She was reading someone else’s mail!
She dismissed the thought and read the letter.
“God Bless You” – Hatefully Yours, Nightshade [I drew a crescent moon next to her signature]
She entered Mr. P’s room.
“Are you allright?” she asked. He nodded and she washed her hands.
“It was from Nightshade, wasn’t it?” he asked. She sat down next to him.
“I’m sorry, Mr. P.” said Anjel sympathetically.
He drew in a deep breath and sighed. There was an akward moment of silence. Anjel studied his face for his feeling, but he didn’t show them.
“How’s Marty?” he asked her. “He’s out of the hospital, but he has been acting very, very strange even before the match. He’s never home, he never tells me where he’s going, and comes back exausted and sometimes angry. More than once I’ve noticed some bruises or cuts. When I ask him about it he goes nuts on me!” she told Mr. Perfect [gee, did I drop enough anvils there?] “I just don’t get it anymore” she said
Mr. P. sneezed again. He looked sadder than ever. Poor thing. He’ll never be able to sneeze without thinking of Nightshade. She touched his shoulder. “You can talk to me if you want. It’s probably better for you not to bottle up your feelings. It’s been almost a month. I know how I get when I can’t talk to someone.” she said.
“Well, I’m not you!” he snapped. “I’m sorry Anjel, you know my temper.”
“It’s allright.” she said.
“No, it’s not, I can’t let Nightshade do this to me. After all we meant to each other, she ended our relationship. But it was my fault, too. (He sighs) I never should have said some of those things. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I’d never signed that match. (pause) But wishing won’t get us together. Nothing will. We are through. I loved her, Anjel.” He brushed away his tears, but more came. He stood, ending the touch of Anjel’s comforting arm around his shoulder.
“Are you going to be O.K.?” she asked.
“Yes, Thank you, Anjel.” he said and kissed her cheek.
NOTES
1) Anjel’s head injury must’ve been nearly fatal considering all the hospitalization. My dad had a wicked concussion once from trying to ice skate down our driveway … he spent like 6 hours at the hospital.
2) Don’t worry. You didn’t see the last of that evil vixen, Nightshade. She’s not going to forget about our poor little Mary Sue.
COMING UP NEXT: Chapter 14: A Turn of Events, in which all those Marty anvils hit the floor in a completely ridiculous fashion.
So I basically have two main tropes so far: allergies and crying. I have no idea why. At any rate, I present to you a thrilling sequel that features both!
Bitter Words, Part II:
3 days later
As Mr. Perfect sat in his room opening his mail he started to sneeze. He could hardly stop to take a breath. Fourtunately he sneezed very loudly and Anjel could hear him 2 doors down. She entered his room through his open door.
“My Gosh, I’ve never heard anyone sneeze so much! Are you OK?” she asked
He couldn’t say much. He just kept sneezing. She noticed a trace of perfume in the air and recognized it as her favorite, Tropical Mist. Wait a minute! It was coming from a note on the table. She picked it up and ran into the hall with it. She heard him stop sneezing and tore open the letter. A thought crossed her mind. She was reading someone else’s mail!
She dismissed the thought and read the letter.
“God Bless You” – Hatefully Yours, Nightshade [I drew a crescent moon next to her signature]
She entered Mr. P’s room.
“Are you allright?” she asked. He nodded and she washed her hands.
“It was from Nightshade, wasn’t it?” he asked. She sat down next to him.
“I’m sorry, Mr. P.” said Anjel sympathetically.
He drew in a deep breath and sighed. There was an akward moment of silence. Anjel studied his face for his feeling, but he didn’t show them.
“How’s Marty?” he asked her. “He’s out of the hospital, but he has been acting very, very strange even before the match. He’s never home, he never tells me where he’s going, and comes back exausted and sometimes angry. More than once I’ve noticed some bruises or cuts. When I ask him about it he goes nuts on me!” she told Mr. Perfect [gee, did I drop enough anvils there?] “I just don’t get it anymore” she said
Mr. P. sneezed again. He looked sadder than ever. Poor thing. He’ll never be able to sneeze without thinking of Nightshade. She touched his shoulder. “You can talk to me if you want. It’s probably better for you not to bottle up your feelings. It’s been almost a month. I know how I get when I can’t talk to someone.” she said.
“Well, I’m not you!” he snapped. “I’m sorry Anjel, you know my temper.”
“It’s allright.” she said.
“No, it’s not, I can’t let Nightshade do this to me. After all we meant to each other, she ended our relationship. But it was my fault, too. (He sighs) I never should have said some of those things. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I’d never signed that match. (pause) But wishing won’t get us together. Nothing will. We are through. I loved her, Anjel.” He brushed away his tears, but more came. He stood, ending the touch of Anjel’s comforting arm around his shoulder.
“Are you going to be O.K.?” she asked.
“Yes, Thank you, Anjel.” he said and kissed her cheek.
NOTES
1) Anjel’s head injury must’ve been nearly fatal considering all the hospitalization. My dad had a wicked concussion once from trying to ice skate down our driveway … he spent like 6 hours at the hospital.
2) Don’t worry. You didn’t see the last of that evil vixen, Nightshade. She’s not going to forget about our poor little Mary Sue.
COMING UP NEXT: Chapter 14: A Turn of Events, in which all those Marty anvils hit the floor in a completely ridiculous fashion.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Chapter 14: "Bitter Words"
(new here? Howdy! Please read the introduction first!)
This is the first one to feature any actual in-ring action. Not very much in-ring action, but at least it doesn’t take place entirely within someone’s “dressing room.” Actually, this wasn’t that bad in terms of an actually plausible wrestling angle. In terms of a well-written piece of literature, of course, it fails miserably. Enjoy!
Chapter 14: Bitter Words [these chapter titles are seriously starting to sound like titles of Sweet Valley High books]
The phone rang in Anjel’s room.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Ms. Theodosia, this is President Jack Tunney.”
“Hello Mr. President. What can I do for you?”
“I need your OK on a match pitting Marty Jannetty against Ric Flair.”
“When is it to be held?”
“7:15 PM at the Chyenne Civic Center.”
“Yes sir. What date sir?” (what a ditz!) [actually, that was me covering for me there. I wrote this story in pen and decided it was easier to have him ask a follow-up question than self-edit. Sucks to be you, Tunney.]
“May 23”
“Yes sir. I believe we are free sir. Thank you, Mr. President.”
“Good, see you in Wisconsin. Goodbye”
CLICK!
What an idiot! Cheyanne is in Wyoming! Oh well [see above]
Anjel walked into the hall and was about to relay the news to Marty when a thought hit her. OH NO! Mr. Perfect manages Ric Flair! What am I going to do?
She went and told her protégé. [Marty is her protégé?] the info about the match. Marty noticed something odd about her – he could sense it but he didn’t bring it up [probably because that would require him to have lines]. She left his room and went into her own. She dialed Mr. P’s phone number. Busy. It must be Jack Tunney. 20 minutes later Mr. Perfect knocked on her door.
“Come in.” she said.
He entered, his face looking grim. He heard the news.
“Hi.” Anjel said.
“Funny Jack Tunney?”
“Yeah.”
“Anjel, I’m paid to be an aid for Ric Flair. I’m paid to win matches.”
“Me too.” she admitted.
“It means that I might have to resort to cheating, or hurting Marty. I’ve got to do anything to win.” he said.
“I understand.”
“But I promise you, I won’t do anything to hurt you.”
“Me neither.”
He breathed a sigh of relief. “Temporary enemies.” They shook hands, smiled, and Anjel left.
7:15, Cheyanne W.Y.
With Nightshade leading the way and Mr. Perfect and Ric Flair following behind.
Anjel gave Marty a last minute pep-talk and left the ring.
The match raged on using foreign objects often Ric Flair was eventually disqualified for being seen with a steel chair. Marty was nearly unconscious and Anjel was close to tears. She stepped into the ring and helped him onto a stretcher. She was about to go with him when a strong hand grasped her wrist. “Ow!” she whirled to see Ric Flair holding her.
“Whoo!” He screamed in her face. He slapped her. She slapped him back quickly. He raised his hand to punch her but Mr. P. held him back. He spoke softly to him. Mr. Perfect finally convinced his boss to stop.
Meanwhile Night shade had snuck up to Anjel and slipped on Brass knucks. She reared up behind her and WHAM! Right on the back of the head!
-ANJEL- [shifting perspectives again! Just like the pilot episode!]
He was going to hit me – but Mr. P. stopped him. How wonderful of him! I Want to … OW!”
-GORILLA- [as in Monsoon. One of the best commentators ever!]
I don’t believe it! This whole thing was set up by that rat Mr. Perfect. He distratcted Anjel by stopping Ric Flair so Nightshade could hit her. How Horrible.
----------------
Mr. Perfect didn’t notice what happened until he saw Anjel out cold on the mat. Then he saw N.S. blowing off her brass knuckled hand. Ric Flair left and N.S. followed. Mr. P knelt over her limp body.
-GORILLA-
Now what? He’s going to punch her with lead-filled gloves?
-------------------------------
Mr. Perfect touched the bump on the back of her head very lightly. She was bleeding. He removed his jacket and held it beneath her head. He lifted her up tenderly and placed her on the stretcher.
--------------------
-GORILLA-
… I don’t understand!
-------------------------------
Anjel was wheeled to Cheyanne Medical center – the hospital where Marty was being treated. Mr. Perfect walked back to Ric Flair’s room with a mixture of feelings. Concern for Anjel’s health, and anger because Nightshade would do something like that.
N.S. had watched the whole ordeal of Mr. Perfect -the man she loved- actually HELP that little blonde bimbo – what’s her name—Anjel! What the hell is he doing?
--10 min later—
Mr. Perfect enters room … N.S. flew into a rage “How could you! You little traitor!! You fink! What do you think you were doing out there?”
“Me! Me! You were the one who hit her on the back of the head with brass knucks!”
“So?”
“So? So?” he repeated.
“You’re upset.”
“How can you tell?” He asked sarcastically.
“You’re repeating yourself.”
“Repeating myself! Repeating myself! No way!” [rotflolllllll!1!1!!]
“What are you so mad about? That’s my job.” She told him.
“You’re not paid to Pearl Harbor people!”
“Well you do it sometimes.”
“That’s only when Ric Flair is in trouble. Anjel posed no threat to his career.”
“Oh, now I’m totally confused. Which side are you on? Why are you sticking up for that bimbo?” [Nightshade is totally my favorite character so far, btw]
“I am not sticking up for her, and don’t call her a bimbo!”
“Ha Ha Ha! Now I see it. You two timer! How could you! You’ve got a relationship with that dumb blonde!”
“Her name is Anjel, and she is one of the greatest friends I’ve ever had. Not that that would’ve made a difference.”
“Oh, and what does that mean?”
“It means that even if you knew we were friends you would’ve hit her anyway.”
“Maybe.” she said frostily “What’s so great about her, anyway. What’s she got that I don’t?” [dangerous question to ask about a Mary Sue, Shady.]
“She’s nice and kind and most of all she cares about my feelings. That’s more than I can ever say for you. The only person you can feel for is Night Shade. I don’t understand what I ever saw in you – Sunny Tyler.”
Noone spoke. They both looked at each other with anger in their eyes.
“I hate you, Curt Hennig.” she said and slammed the door behind her.
“Sheesh!” said The Mountie as N.S. flew by him, nearly ramming into him. He saw his friend on the bed. His face was in his hands.
“Hey, what’s the problem, buddy?”
“Long story.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Sorry, Jaques.” He shook his head.
“It’s ok I understand” he said and patting him on the back and closed the door behind him softly.
--------------------
Every day Mr. Perfect came in to visit Anjel in the hospital. She needed 29 stitches for her head. She had a concussions and some bruises, but she was recovering beautifully. [can Anjel do anything in any way besides beautifully?]
-----------
1 ½ weeks later
Anjel was finally able to get out of her hospital bed and walk around. She was moved into her dressing room. Her head still ached terribly, though. Mr. Perfect was still depressed, Nightshade’s words hurt him so deeply not even Anjel could help him. Anjel felt terrible about Mr. Perfect. His heart had been broken because he had helped her. She had spent so many hours trying to comfort him and make him feel better, but it just wasn’t helping.
Nightshade quit her job as the Executive Consultette to go back to being a sales representive. She remembered the way Mr. Perfect hurt her and planned her revenge (little did she know that the last 3 words she spoke to Mr. P. was the best revenge in the world). She quickly wrote something on a piece of paper and sprayed it with something. Mr. Perfect had made the mistake of telling her something long ago.
--------------------------------------
Notes:
1) I loved The Mountie. I think he might have been in a lost story somewhere, but I can’t remember. Personally, I’m glad I can’t remember … I’d rather not tarnish his character. Anyone remember when he sung his own theme song? “I’m the Mountie! I’m handsome, I’m brave, and I’m strong! I’m the Mountie! And I enforce the law! You can try to run, but you can never hide! The Mountieeeee always gets his man!” Good stuff!!
2) Aw, I miss Gorilla Monsoon. And Mr. Perfect. RIP, fellas.
COMING UP NEXT: Bitter Words, Part II, in which we see the devastating repercussions of crossing Nightshade. What’s that you say? You want more debilitating allergy stories? Coming right up!
----------------------------------------------
This is the first one to feature any actual in-ring action. Not very much in-ring action, but at least it doesn’t take place entirely within someone’s “dressing room.” Actually, this wasn’t that bad in terms of an actually plausible wrestling angle. In terms of a well-written piece of literature, of course, it fails miserably. Enjoy!
Chapter 14: Bitter Words [these chapter titles are seriously starting to sound like titles of Sweet Valley High books]
The phone rang in Anjel’s room.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Ms. Theodosia, this is President Jack Tunney.”
“Hello Mr. President. What can I do for you?”
“I need your OK on a match pitting Marty Jannetty against Ric Flair.”
“When is it to be held?”
“7:15 PM at the Chyenne Civic Center.”
“Yes sir. What date sir?” (what a ditz!) [actually, that was me covering for me there. I wrote this story in pen and decided it was easier to have him ask a follow-up question than self-edit. Sucks to be you, Tunney.]
“May 23”
“Yes sir. I believe we are free sir. Thank you, Mr. President.”
“Good, see you in Wisconsin. Goodbye”
CLICK!
What an idiot! Cheyanne is in Wyoming! Oh well [see above]
Anjel walked into the hall and was about to relay the news to Marty when a thought hit her. OH NO! Mr. Perfect manages Ric Flair! What am I going to do?
She went and told her protégé. [Marty is her protégé?] the info about the match. Marty noticed something odd about her – he could sense it but he didn’t bring it up [probably because that would require him to have lines]. She left his room and went into her own. She dialed Mr. P’s phone number. Busy. It must be Jack Tunney. 20 minutes later Mr. Perfect knocked on her door.
“Come in.” she said.
He entered, his face looking grim. He heard the news.
“Hi.” Anjel said.
“Funny Jack Tunney?”
“Yeah.”
“Anjel, I’m paid to be an aid for Ric Flair. I’m paid to win matches.”
“Me too.” she admitted.
“It means that I might have to resort to cheating, or hurting Marty. I’ve got to do anything to win.” he said.
“I understand.”
“But I promise you, I won’t do anything to hurt you.”
“Me neither.”
He breathed a sigh of relief. “Temporary enemies.” They shook hands, smiled, and Anjel left.
7:15, Cheyanne W.Y.
With Nightshade leading the way and Mr. Perfect and Ric Flair following behind.
Anjel gave Marty a last minute pep-talk and left the ring.
The match raged on using foreign objects often Ric Flair was eventually disqualified for being seen with a steel chair. Marty was nearly unconscious and Anjel was close to tears. She stepped into the ring and helped him onto a stretcher. She was about to go with him when a strong hand grasped her wrist. “Ow!” she whirled to see Ric Flair holding her.
“Whoo!” He screamed in her face. He slapped her. She slapped him back quickly. He raised his hand to punch her but Mr. P. held him back. He spoke softly to him. Mr. Perfect finally convinced his boss to stop.
Meanwhile Night shade had snuck up to Anjel and slipped on Brass knucks. She reared up behind her and WHAM! Right on the back of the head!
-ANJEL- [shifting perspectives again! Just like the pilot episode!]
He was going to hit me – but Mr. P. stopped him. How wonderful of him! I Want to … OW!”
-GORILLA- [as in Monsoon. One of the best commentators ever!]
I don’t believe it! This whole thing was set up by that rat Mr. Perfect. He distratcted Anjel by stopping Ric Flair so Nightshade could hit her. How Horrible.
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Mr. Perfect didn’t notice what happened until he saw Anjel out cold on the mat. Then he saw N.S. blowing off her brass knuckled hand. Ric Flair left and N.S. followed. Mr. P knelt over her limp body.
-GORILLA-
Now what? He’s going to punch her with lead-filled gloves?
-------------------------------
Mr. Perfect touched the bump on the back of her head very lightly. She was bleeding. He removed his jacket and held it beneath her head. He lifted her up tenderly and placed her on the stretcher.
--------------------
-GORILLA-
… I don’t understand!
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Anjel was wheeled to Cheyanne Medical center – the hospital where Marty was being treated. Mr. Perfect walked back to Ric Flair’s room with a mixture of feelings. Concern for Anjel’s health, and anger because Nightshade would do something like that.
N.S. had watched the whole ordeal of Mr. Perfect -the man she loved- actually HELP that little blonde bimbo – what’s her name—Anjel! What the hell is he doing?
--10 min later—
Mr. Perfect enters room … N.S. flew into a rage “How could you! You little traitor!! You fink! What do you think you were doing out there?”
“Me! Me! You were the one who hit her on the back of the head with brass knucks!”
“So?”
“So? So?” he repeated.
“You’re upset.”
“How can you tell?” He asked sarcastically.
“You’re repeating yourself.”
“Repeating myself! Repeating myself! No way!” [rotflolllllll!1!1!!]
“What are you so mad about? That’s my job.” She told him.
“You’re not paid to Pearl Harbor people!”
“Well you do it sometimes.”
“That’s only when Ric Flair is in trouble. Anjel posed no threat to his career.”
“Oh, now I’m totally confused. Which side are you on? Why are you sticking up for that bimbo?” [Nightshade is totally my favorite character so far, btw]
“I am not sticking up for her, and don’t call her a bimbo!”
“Ha Ha Ha! Now I see it. You two timer! How could you! You’ve got a relationship with that dumb blonde!”
“Her name is Anjel, and she is one of the greatest friends I’ve ever had. Not that that would’ve made a difference.”
“Oh, and what does that mean?”
“It means that even if you knew we were friends you would’ve hit her anyway.”
“Maybe.” she said frostily “What’s so great about her, anyway. What’s she got that I don’t?” [dangerous question to ask about a Mary Sue, Shady.]
“She’s nice and kind and most of all she cares about my feelings. That’s more than I can ever say for you. The only person you can feel for is Night Shade. I don’t understand what I ever saw in you – Sunny Tyler.”
Noone spoke. They both looked at each other with anger in their eyes.
“I hate you, Curt Hennig.” she said and slammed the door behind her.
“Sheesh!” said The Mountie as N.S. flew by him, nearly ramming into him. He saw his friend on the bed. His face was in his hands.
“Hey, what’s the problem, buddy?”
“Long story.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Sorry, Jaques.” He shook his head.
“It’s ok I understand” he said and patting him on the back and closed the door behind him softly.
--------------------
Every day Mr. Perfect came in to visit Anjel in the hospital. She needed 29 stitches for her head. She had a concussions and some bruises, but she was recovering beautifully. [can Anjel do anything in any way besides beautifully?]
-----------
1 ½ weeks later
Anjel was finally able to get out of her hospital bed and walk around. She was moved into her dressing room. Her head still ached terribly, though. Mr. Perfect was still depressed, Nightshade’s words hurt him so deeply not even Anjel could help him. Anjel felt terrible about Mr. Perfect. His heart had been broken because he had helped her. She had spent so many hours trying to comfort him and make him feel better, but it just wasn’t helping.
Nightshade quit her job as the Executive Consultette to go back to being a sales representive. She remembered the way Mr. Perfect hurt her and planned her revenge (little did she know that the last 3 words she spoke to Mr. P. was the best revenge in the world). She quickly wrote something on a piece of paper and sprayed it with something. Mr. Perfect had made the mistake of telling her something long ago.
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Notes:
1) I loved The Mountie. I think he might have been in a lost story somewhere, but I can’t remember. Personally, I’m glad I can’t remember … I’d rather not tarnish his character. Anyone remember when he sung his own theme song? “I’m the Mountie! I’m handsome, I’m brave, and I’m strong! I’m the Mountie! And I enforce the law! You can try to run, but you can never hide! The Mountieeeee always gets his man!” Good stuff!!
2) Aw, I miss Gorilla Monsoon. And Mr. Perfect. RIP, fellas.
COMING UP NEXT: Bitter Words, Part II, in which we see the devastating repercussions of crossing Nightshade. What’s that you say? You want more debilitating allergy stories? Coming right up!
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