Chapter 10: Two Faces

(just joining us? Hi! Please read the introduction first!)

Chapter 10: “Two Faces”

As I “matured” as a wrestling fan, I started exclusively liking the bad guys (known in wrestling lingo as “heels” – good guys are “faces”). Mr. Perfect soon became my favorite guy. He had stopped wrestling full time and was instead working as Ric Flair’s manager and a color commentator on Prime Time Wrestling, which was the ancestor of Monday Night Raw. (I wrote a poem about it … you’ll get that one of these days). At the time I was writing, Prime Time Wrestling was basically a recap of the week’s matches with a roundtable discussion by Vince McMahon, Hillbilly Jim, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Mr. Perfect, and Bobby Heenan (best commentator ever). Anyhoo, I knew I had to get Mr. Perfect into the story, but wasn’t sure how to do it … there was no ostensible reason he and Anjel would ever be friends … Marty was a face and he was a heel … they should be natural enemies! So I decided that Mr. Perfect was probably a good guy on the inside, and Anjel would of course bring that out in him.

Enjoy!

“Two Faces”

1 Hr. before ***~~~PRIME TIME WRESTLING~~~***

“We need a replacement for Bobby Heenan” said Vince McMahon. In only an hour!”
“How about Mean Gene?”
“No good. Filming an interview.”
“Sean Mooney?” “Lord Alfred?”
“Day off.”
(Mr. Perfect enters.)
“Where’s Bobby?” he asked, searching for his best friend.
“Sick.”
Mr. Perfect looked concerned. [see the glimmer of good in him? SEE IT?]
“We need a replacement!” repeated Vince. Someone with color, pizzazz!”
“Hey. How about Anjel?” said Hillbilly Jim.
“Great idea! I’ll call her.” said Vince. Mr. Perfect rolled his aqua eyes.
“It’s all set!”
10 minutes later, Anjel arrived.
9:22
Mr. Perfect was making crack after crack at Marty.
“He used him like a doormat!” [OH SNAP!]
Anjel couldn’t take it anymore. She stood up and dumped a pitcher of water on Mr. P’s head. Then she ran to the front of the building and sat on the steps, holding back tears.
Mr. Perfect felt horrible about what he did. He had to apologize. He went outside and sat down next to Anjel he touched her shoulder.
“Anjel. I … I’m really sorry.” he said in as oft, kind voice. One Anjel had never heard him use. She locked eyes with him.
“I didn’t mean to make you mad. I … I just …. I need to let off steam about not having Bobby around and I take it out on you. I don’t know why, but I am very sorry. Please accept my apology.” he said in the same soft voice.
“You’re forgiven. And I’m really sorry I dumped the water on your head. I don’t mind when you poke at me but Marty can’t defend himself if he’s not here!” said Anjel.
Mr. Perfect smiled.
“I deserved the water on my head. It served me ri … ri … ri…” he turned his head and sneezed twice in a row.
“Bless you” said Anjel.
“Thank you” said Mr. Perfect.
“I hope the water didn’t give you a cold. It is freezing out here. I’d feel terrible knowing it was my fault.” said Anjel.
“Let’s go inside. It is cold.” said Mr. Perfect
They entered Prime Time Wrestling during a commercial.
“2 minutes til we’re on” said a stagehand.
Mr. Perfect sneezed again.
“Bless you” said Anjel, handing him a tissue. [does she carry them up her sleeve like various grandmas I know?]
“Thank you” said Mr. Perfect and accepted the tissue.
“You know, you’re a real sweet girl.” said Mr. P.
“A tissue and I am forgiven of all sins!” said Anjel. “At first I thought you were a creep, but you’re a pretty O.K. guy once I got to know you.” she said, smiling. [Yes, they did have a pretty deep, soul-searching conversation out there on the steps.]

11:17 – After the Show

Everyone had gone home except Anjel, who was waiting for Marty to come pick her up and Mr. P., who was talking with her.
“That was really funny when Hacksaw Jim’s 2X4 slid out of his hand and fell behind him.” said Anjel.
“Yeah and when Hillbilly Jim dropped his horseshoe on his foot.” said Mr. P.
[the next 2 pages have smudged a lot. Curse you, devotion to only writing in pencil! At any rate, I’m pretty sure Mr. Perfect sneezes some more, but only when Anjel gets close to him. Mr. P. deduces that he is allergic to her perfume, “Tropical Mist.” She washes it off and everything is fine. Ready for the ending? I am.]
“Good thing you stopped sneezing, I’m out of tissues!” she said.
And they’ve been friends ever since!

Notes:

1) No, seriously, WTF was that? I think I based that on an episode of Gilligan’s Island where everyone sneezed when they came too close to Gilligan because he started wearing some homemade cologne. I evidently found that to be a plot device so compelling/funny/whatever that it had to be revisited in my own oeuvre.

2) I love that Mr. Perfect and Anjel’s intense bonding session mainly consists of her giving him tissues, followed by them having a brief, awkward giggle-fest at the expense of their hapless co-hosts.

3) Remember the name “Tropical Mist” … you haven’t seen the last of this evil potion of sneeze-inducing doom! Continuity was my forte. Usually.


COMING NEXT: “Reunited PT. 2” What will become of Laurie and Brutus? Will Anjel regret meddling in Brutus’ personal life? Will anyone be allergic to anything? Will Marty have any lines? Tune in tomorrow!